Luisa jerked away. “But Ramon is worthless.” She bared her teeth as she spoke. “He’s abusive and irresponsible and—”
“And Carlos’s father. Half of his genetic makeup. It’s got to make him wonder—could those things be said of him?”
“Of course not.”
“But can you see the tug-of-war within him?” Maybe it was wrong, but she had to try to help. “You’re forcing him to choose, Luisa, by hating Ramon and making no bones about it.”
“Am I supposed to say that Ramon is a fit example?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then tell me the magic answer, you who’ve never been divorced. You whose husband has never raised a hand to you. Tell me what to do.” Luisa’s tiny frame vibrated with her agitation.
Ava held up her hands. “Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll grant you that I’ve never been in your exact shoes, but I believe what I’m saying is true. I don’t know what you tell Carlos. But maybe if you admit to him that you don’t have all the answers, that you understand the position you’re putting him in, the two of you can bridge the gap between you before it gets any wider.”
Luisa was gripping her hair tightly, wrapping it over and over around her white-knuckled fist. In the light of the mercury vapor lamp, Ava could see her eyes dark with pain, her lips trembling. “I’m going to lose him,” she whispered. “I can feel it. Ramon wants to take him from me and he’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Stop it, Luisa. You’re only making things worse.” Ava tried to hug her, but Luisa shook her off.
“I can’t talk about this anymore, Ava,” she said stiffly. “You don’t know what it was like with Ramon. I have to be strong against him. He almost crushed me into nothing before. I won’t let him take my son. I can’t let him win.”
“It’s not about winning.”
Her friend’s eyes had a feral glare. “Oh, yes, it is. It’s a battle for Carlito’s soul, and I cannot let Ramon come out the victor.” She let go of her hair as if she’d just realized what she was doing. Straightening, she crossed her arms over her chest. “I appreciate your interest, Ava, yours and Tom’s. I know you care. I—I’ll think about what you said.” She glanced up from her study of the pavement. “Feliz Navidad, my friend. And congratulations on your good news. I hope you’ll be very happy with the changes in your life.”
“I don’t want my life to change. I like it just fine.”
“But it will,” Luisa said sadly, her eyes turning dark. “You know it will.” With a quick squeeze of Ava’s arm, Luisa turned and walked to her car, leaving Ava to wonder just what could have caused that last look directed at her.
If she didn’t know better, she’d have called it pity.
Chapter Three
‡
Christmas Eve
Ellie loaded the last of the supper dishes in the dishwasher, glancing around the kitchen to see if they’d missed anything. She turned to Christy and Joseph, whose turn it was to help clean up. “Okay, gang, that looks like it. Let’s all scoot and finish getting ready to go to Candlelight Service.”
“What I’m wearing is okay, right, Mom?” Joseph looked hopeful, standing there in his baggy jeans and t-shirt that would be too big on Wyatt, much less on Joseph’s reed-thin frame.
She smiled. “There’s still time for lumps of coal in your stocking, Joseph. Don’t push it.”
He sighed dramatically. “I didn’t think so.” Muttering to himself, he left the room, but she’d seen the smile play about his lips.
Christy hung back.
“We can’t be late, Christy.”
“I know. It’s just—”
“Is something wrong?” With sinking heart, Ellie studied her oldest daughter. At first it had been wonderful to have Christy home, but there were little tugs of war now between them as Christy had to adapt to accounting for her whereabouts again. Though she’d been thrilled to get back home, now she seemed already itching to get back to college. Tonight, that would be the straw that broke the camel’s back for Ellie. Christmas Eve was family time.
“I’m worried about Saxon, Mom. He’s alone, isn’t he?”
Ellie leaned back hard on the counter. “What makes you think that?”
“He told me he doesn’t have any family.”
“He’s probably with friends.” But she knew he wasn’t. And she worried about him, too.
“I wish we could call him and invite him over.”
“Christy, you know this night is just for family.”
“I thought you liked him.” Anxiety painted her daughter’s lovely face.
“What’s this really about?”
Christy’s face tightened. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re not…getting inappropriate feelings for him, are you? He’s much older than you are.”
“So? Dad’s older than you.”
“Two years is not twenty.”
“You just want to keep him for yourself, Mom?”
Ellie felt the breath sucked out of her chest. “Christina Leanne Preston, what’s happened to you that you could say such a thing to me?” Knowing that there had been one moment when Christy was right only made the ache worse.
Her daughter whirled and stalked across the kitchen.
“Wait—Christy, wait. I’m sorry.” Ellie crossed the floor and laid her hand on Christy’s arm. “I don’t—why would you say such a thing?”
Christy turned and faced her, tears welling. “I don’t know, Mom. I mean, Davy says he’s got the hots for you, and Saxon’s so exciting. Dad’s great, but he’s—well, he’s just…Dad.” Her face crumpled. “Oh, I don’t know what to think. My roommate’s parents are getting a divorce because her mom fell in love with someone else, and I’ve been so homesick and I guess I just got scared.” The tears were pouring down her cheeks now. She looked thoroughly miserable. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Ellie gathered her close and stroked her hair, every sob of her daughter’s etched like acid on her heart. “I love your father. He’s the most wonderful man in the world. I’m not—I mean, yes, Saxon is striking, but he’s simply teaching me art lessons. I don’t know why Davy dislikes him so much. Saxon was nice to him, as he was to everyone.”
Christy hugged her closer, the sobs subsiding to sniffles. Then she pulled back, and reached for the tissue Ellie had retrieved from her pocket. “Thanks.” She blew her nose loudly, like the little girl she’d once been. “I feel so stupid.”
What hurt worst was knowing that there was a grain of truth in Christy’s accusation. But it had only been a moment of fantasy, a weak instant that wouldn’t be repeated. Everything that she loved was here in this house. It was all she really needed. She stroked her daughter’s hair again. “Don’t feel stupid. It’s natural to worry, I think. Your father and I are dinosaurs, still being married.”
Christy smiled at that. “I hardly have any friends whose parents are still together.”
“I’m sorry about Lynette’s parents. It’s never easy, but this has to be a tough time of year to find out.”
“She’s miserable. I worry about her.”
“Would you like to call her tomorrow and see how she’s doing?” Normally they kept to themselves on Christmas Day, family-only time.
Christy smiled. “I would. I guess I’m like you, huh, Mom? Worrying about all the loners like Lynette and Saxon. Taking in strays.”
“Is that what I do?”
“You know you do. But I’m proud of you. You have a big heart.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Ellie pulled her close for one more hug, tears pricking at her own eyes. “You just gave me my Christmas present.”
Just then, Wyatt walked in. “We’re going to be late, guys—” He skidded to a halt. “What’s wrong?”
They both wiped their eyes and smiled, chiming together. “Nothing.”
Wyatt rolled his eyes. “I live with three women and I don’t think I’ll ever figure out how tears can be nothing.” He sigh
ed loudly. “Tears are for the end of the world, that’s what I always believed. You’d think I’d learn.”
Two watery laughs greeted him. Ellie spoke first. “Just girl stuff, honey.”
He looked back and forth between the two of them, shaking his head.
Davy bounded down the stairs. “Dad, I can’t get this tie—” He stopped abruptly. “What’s wrong with them?”
Three voices chimed this time. “Nothing.” Then they laughed at Davy’s confused expression.
Ellie patted Christy’s shoulder. “We’ll be ready in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” She caught Wyatt’s eye and walked across to him, sliding her arms around his waist. “I love you, Wyatt Preston.”
The green eyes she loved most in the world twinkled as he smiled, then pressed a quick kiss to her lips and patted her rear. “I’ll never understand you, but I love you, too.”
As she left the room, she heard Davy’s voice. “Dad, why were they crying?”
“Son, just remember, crying makes things better for women—clears out the channels somehow.”
“I don’t get it.”
“We men are simple creatures. Understanding women is not in the cards. You just gotta love ’em—trying to understand them is expecting way too much.”
Ellie smiled, then checked her watch and ran the last few steps up the stairs.
* * *
Ellie watched Sam worrying his lower lip while he lit her candle with painstaking care. Over his head, Sarah met her gaze and smiled. Ellie smiled back, her glance sweeping over all her children lined up in the pew beyond Sam.
She turned toward Wyatt to light his candle, her heart full of the love she bore for all of them. The same expression shone from Wyatt’s eyes.
“Merry Christmas, Ellie.”
Tears prickled. “Merry Christmas, Wyatt.”
Then he had to turn away to light the next candle. The haunting strains of Silent Night spiraled in the air around them.
This was her life, and it was a good one. She had the most wonderful gift of all, the gift of love and family. Here, in this place, surrounded by those dearest to her heart, Ellie gave a silent thanks for all her blessings. A husband who loved her, five adored children, a circle of good friends.
She was foolish for losing sight of all this. If she never lifted another paintbrush, her life was just fine exactly as it was. This was her…this was Ellie. Good mother, loving wife. It should be enough.
She thought of all her friends and wondered how they were doing. Luisa would go to Midnight Mass. Ava would be with Tom and the kids. Laken would—she wasn’t sure she could or wanted to imagine what Laken might be doing, but Laken would be fine. Sylvie, though…she was worried about Sylvie. Gabe had wanted to take her away with him. They usually took some kind of exotic trip this time of year. But Gabe had gone alone this time, to New York to be with his children, after Sylvie refused to go. She’d also refused to join them here, saying she knew this was sacred family time for the Prestons. What was she doing now?
And for one fleeting moment, she wondered what Saxon was doing, picturing him all alone in his studio on this, the night most filled with love.
“Dad,” Sam leaned around her, whispering urgently. “Santa will make it tonight, right?”
Wyatt chuckled. “Hasn’t he made it every year?”
“Yeah. But I wish we could hurry up and go home.”
Wyatt and Ellie exchanged smiles. Then Sam’s head came to rest against her arm, and she pulled him closer.
There were a lot of lonely people in the world tonight. But Saxon had his health. Saxon did work that he loved. Saxon had made his own choices. The nurturer in her just had to forget trying to figure out why. Her most important responsibilities were right here around her.
“Mom,” Sarah whispered. “Are you all right?”
Ellie blinked away tears and turned to her children, ready smile in place. “I’m just great, honey. Merry Christmas.”
Her beloved daughter smiled. “Merry Christmas, Mom.”
Ellie leaned against Wyatt, whose arm slid around her waist while she listened to the voices of her children and of the man she loved.
Saxon was her teacher; he might become her friend. But nothing more. And on this night of nights, she couldn’t withhold a wish she’d give any friend.
Merry Christmas, Saxon. Merry Christmas, everyone.
* * *
Luisa clamped down on the urge to rush out of Midnight Mass and go to Ramon’s and bring Carlos home. Ramon had asserted his right to have Carlos with him, and Carlos had gone willingly. She wouldn’t see him until tomorrow night, when Christmas was all but over.
She wanted to weep, but instead she straightened.
Her daughter leaned toward her. “Are you all right, Mama?”
On her other side, her mother stirred. Luisa shot Maria Elena a quick smile. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“You miss Carlito.”
She started to shake her head, then gave up. “Yes, I do. But Ramon wanted his turn.”
“He doesn’t deserve it.” Maria Elena had never forgotten her father’s attack upon her, nor had she forgotten the times she’d seen him hit Luisa, the weapons he’d brandished. Even if he really had changed as Carlos insisted, neither she nor Chico did more than tolerate their father’s presence.
They remembered what Carlos was too young to recall.
But Luisa had given Ava’s argument much thought. When she could, she tried to blunt the edge of her hatred, for Carlos’s sake. “It’s only fair.”
“Sh-h-h,” Consuela warned. “Listen to the priest.”
They both subsided, but Maria Elena squeezed Luisa’s hand.
To her surprise, her mother reached over and patted their clasped hands. Not a smile crossed her lips, but the gesture was telling.
“You did the right thing, Maria Luisa,” her mother whispered. One more pat. “Now be quiet and listen to the sermon.”
Consuela kept her gaze firmly toward the front, giving away nothing else. Luisa and Maria Elena exchanged surprised looks.
A Christmas gift already. Consuela’s approval.
Miracles did happen.
* * *
Laken walked the floors of her apartment, ears straining for one single sound from the club below.
A club should be open on a night when people needed escape, damn it. Wasn’t that what they were for? Time out of mind, a means to fly away from everyday life?
Okay, sure…the employees had families, and Christmas Eve was the mega-big family night. Ellie and her family were at church. Ava and hers were gathered, and Luisa and her brood were likely at midnight mass. Sylvie…no telling what Sylvie was doing, given her absurd self-imposed distance from Gabe, a man who clearly loved her to distraction.
How could anyone toss aside a man like Gabe? He was rich and hot and crazy about Sylvie. If she was the object of that kind of devotion—
Laken hit the remote, and it was lights-out on her TV. She couldn’t watch one more happy family gather, not when her own was so screwed up. What did people do on this night when the knowing that so many others had love could drive you right out of your mind?
A knock on her door jolted her to her toes. Who would—?
“Laken?”
She froze and stared at the door.
Michael. She pressed her lips together. I can’t—I don’t want—
A second knock. “Come on, open up. I know you’re in there.”
She yanked it open. There stood a gorgeous man.
And a sweet dog, who wiggled as if to leap from Michael’s embrace.
“Hey guy—you’ll wind up on your head on the floor,” he cautioned.
But Laken was already reveling in puppy kisses, in the tongue that cruised over her cheek, the breathy whimpers, the wriggling furry body—
She buried her head in the pup’s fur and struggled to put a lid on the tears that threatened.
“Hey.” A slight pause. “I was hoping you’d be here.”
She fought the urge to throw herself against man and puppy, to cry out her relief for the respite. Get your act together. Don’t be pathetic. She clasped her arms around her middle so she’d stay out of Michael’s arms. “Hey, yourself. What’s up?”
Michael studied her. “You gonna invite us in?”
“Oh.” She opened the door wider, then closed it behind him.
He set the pup down. “Okay if I release him? Results not guaranteed, though I did my best to empty the bladder outside.”
She wasn’t alone on this horrific, emotional night. The relief swamped everything else. Who the hell cared if she had to wipe up a puddle? Easy now. She kept her tone as casual as possible. “No big deal. Where’s Monroe?”
“In my truck.”
“He’ll be okay there? Is that fair?”
A sheepish shrug. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you. There was no way I could leave this guy out there, though.”
“You know bringing him around is completely unfair, right?”
Michael grinned, and his dark gaze even lightened a little. “So sue me.”
She sighed as she watched Ajax sniff his way across the floor. He grabbed a magazine and fought it to a heroic end, tearing pages as he battled.
“I can’t take him anywhere. Sorry about that. Want me to put him back on the leash?”
Her sore heart eased a little more. “It’s just a magazine.” She cast a wry grin. “This place is so not puppy-proofed.”
“Let’s check for actual danger first.”
Responsible to his marrow, a born caretaker. If she were vulnerable to that sort of appeal, her ovaries would be exploding right now. “Sure. You look in here, and I’ll check out the bedroom and bathroom.” She crossed the floor, and Ajax followed, whimpering for her attention.
She scooped him up. Rubbed her chin over his soft, furry head.
He whimpered and licked her chin, wriggling in her arms.
She glanced down. “You are such a beggar.” Then, because Michael was in the other room, she indulged herself in a cuddle. “You are the sweetest thing,” she murmured into his fur. “I wish I could keep you.”
The Book Babes Boxed Set (Texas Ties/Texas Troubles/Texas Together) Page 14
