by Shelby Leigh
everything looks familiar yet
you do not have time to place it
before you are onto the next thing and
then the next and
when your brain finally catches up to your imagination
your head is spinning and
you can’t wait to do it all over again because
at long last you feel free,
like you are in charge of any world you create
and your mind does not stop until every last detail is down on paper.
That is how it feels to write.
Ashes, Ashes
I decided to
forget you today
so I ripped the pages
from my journal
that were about you
and tossed them in a fire
I watched
red and orange flames
curl around each page
consuming words
I thought I could never surrender
to a pile of dust and ash
We All Fall Down
you carried me gently in your hand
a pocket-sized disciple
nestled within the intricate lines on your palm
I was easy to love and so you loved me
and wherever you walked
I was sure to follow
and you knew that all too well
because you walked straight for a cliff
and stopped at the edge
and watched me tumble
down
down
down
to where all your other followers lay
Rhymes
I fell for you
the way most writers do
admiring small details
and poorly written haikus
people will think it's fiction
that I felt you in my veins
when my blood turned to ink
and you still consumed my brain
I filled up each and every page
with all my love for you
but when the words ran out
it seems your love did too
Message in a Bottle
I sent you a letter today
written with your favorite pen
you’ll have to excuse the smudges
you know I write with my left hand
I folded the page in thirds and
scrawled your name across the top
I tried not to make it sappy
but once I began I could not stop
I placed it in a bottle and
pushed the cork on tight and
I walked down to the beach
in the middle of the night
I watched it float in the water
before the waves took it away
here’s hoping someone out there
will read the words I had to say
Hidden
come and find me
in the corners of your mind
hiding in the ink of your pen
I am words
waiting to be spilled out
between the lines of a page
I am emotions
you have suppressed
and details you don’t
even know exist
but you will remember
if you just try
press your pen against
a blank page
and I will handle the rest
Mona
I painted her on a canvas
an etched permanence
though time will pass
her beauty will remain
at the tip of a paintbrush
poignant and moving
slowly as to remember
every detail
of raised eyebrows
and nimble fingers
silently drowning
behind upturned lips
see the faint trace of a smile
if you lean in close
Empty
he just can’t let her go
it’s not the sound of her laugh
or the softness of her skin
that he misses most
it’s the way she loved him
like no one ever has
the way she held him
when he was hurting her
the way she felt his pain
like it was her own
and he just wasn’t ready
to let all of that go
yet this morning
he opened his eyes
and she was gone
Clichés
I know it's cliché to say
you were like a drug
and I became addicted to you,
that your lips tasted like
bitter ecstasy,
that I knew it was wrong
yet I always wanted more,
that your whiskey-colored eyes
hypnotized me
and I felt knots in my stomach
if I looked away
maybe it's wrong to say
that you were my drug
and I was addicted to you
like the nicotine
in my first cigarette
that buried me with its
glowing embers and
acrid smoke
so I won't say it
I'll only say I never thought
I could live a day without you
yet today I opened my eyes
and I have never felt more alive
Journal
once I sculpted you out of letters
and carved quotes into your skin
you became every word
I wanted someone to tell me
even if you said it with silence
you let me spill tears on your shoulder
even though it left a stain
and you never forgot a single detail
while I poured my heart out every day
yet I abandoned you as I always do
when you ran out of space for me
and I realized as I tucked you
behind rows of books on my shelves
that you never asked for my eyes
to spill tears on your corners
and my mind to drip words on each line
I ruined my creation,
my sculpture born of ink,
until I had no more tears left to cry
Shadow
I promise the sun will still shine tomorrow
as bright as every day
and the clouds will cast a shadow
that looks just like your outline
so I’ll stand straight within your silhouette,
pretending you were never gone
until dusk comes and
the sun sinks below the horizon
and your shadow
disappears for one more night
Daydreaming
sometimes I study the rain
I think about their journey from the clouds
and I wonder if they are scared
like I am scared
and I wonder if other people
see these things
as I do
especially you
I wonder if you think about the rain
and I wonder if you still think about me
Dust
when did you turn to dust
gently soaring through the air
hiding in the glare of sunlight
and forging a home on every surface
what were you before you were ash
burning on a stone hearth
a remembrance of the unknown
a reminder of the words you've burned
who were you before you were broken
when your dreams still opened your eyes
and you danced through each day on tiptoes
and broke through even the darkest shadows
Missing
the earth
never knew what
it was missing until
you came a
long
and too soon
the sky grew envious
of the land
on which you walked
and so heaven
opened its gates
and took you away
from me
Mirror, Mirror
I saw her once
in a reflection
the one that used to be me
I barely recognized her
with eyes full of life
and a smile that grazed
her cheeks
when did I stop
loving her
the one that used to be me
a mirage in the mirror
reaching out
with soft fingertips
and a spirit so carefree
and just like that she
disappears
a tangible memory
of what I used to be
before I stopped loving myself
and my smile faded
and I never set myself free
Scrapes
I am ashamed for
saying I want you to fall
like I fell for you
but when you do,
and you will,
you’ll scrape your knees and
dirty your jeans
and do anything to be hers
and you’ll finally understand
why it was so hard
for me to unravel my fingers
from yours
and watch the wind
carry you away from me
Colors
my mouth burns after you kiss me
and I don't know what that means
because I thought I loved you
the sky turns blue, orange, scarlet
reflecting off the white snow
in which my toes are buried
my body is shivering and cold
but there is fire on my tongue
and in the dead of winter
after you kiss me
I stand in the numb air exhaling the
smoke you breathed into my lungs
Sting
it stings between my fingers
the weathered spots on my skin
where his hands used to live
and every time I think of him
the pain sharpens
and I can feel it on my hands
my neck
my shoulders
my heart
every place he once touched me
he made sure to leave a scar
Half Empty
now the glass is half full
it is sitting on the counter
sweating down its sides
my fingers curl around it
leaving prints on the glass
and it meets my parted lips
now the glass is half empty
and my breath fogs up the sides
and I fear I will see
my own reflection
if I look too close
so my hands let go
now the glass is empty
shattered
I am surrounded by
thousands of fragments
and in each one there
is a reflection of me
I pick up the pieces
that slice the tips of my fingers
and I apologize for
my own destruction
for it is no one’s fault
that I fear my own reflection
Sightings
the rain is falling so fast
that my vision is blurry
but I think
I saw
a glimpse of you
turning the corner
it's funny
you know
how quickly my life changed
from seeing you everyday
to crossing my fingers
hoping
each time I go outside
I would
perhaps
be lucky enough
to see you
if only for a moment
Untouched
I am surrounded by people
and no one to talk to
I am a brown leaf
in a pile of red and orange
unnoticed and untouched
but look closely and you will see
the hints of color that I once was
before I fell to the ground
and lay there
waiting for someone to pick me up
and admire me
only me
and bring me along
clutched softly
in the palm of their hand
Books
surrounded by old books
with withered yellow pages
curled around my finger
that is my favorite place to be
silently I wonder who has read their words
who has cried and who has laughed
which stains are tears and which are spilled tea
crisp pages torn from delicate binding
yet the words do not stray
and I am entranced by
the infinite worlds I can create
from a single page
Clueless
I laugh when I think about you
having no clue that your words
still slice through my ears
and reverberate through my skull
how you sleep soundly at the dead of night
sprawled out under a blanket of silence
while I drift off to the soothing
pain of sobs escaping my lips
And so I laugh while I carve poetry
out of the pieces of my heart
that were left on the ground
and though you were the one who
placed them there I must
thank you for stepping carefully
over them on your way out
so the pieces did not shatter
Heart and Soul
after all this time
I thought it was just my heart
that hurt and
could be broken
but today I felt something
deeper
behind my heart
and my lungs
I think maybe
it was my soul
it started as a dull ache
in my ribs
and tightened my lungs
so my breaths became short
and then I swear
I felt you in my body
knocking on my heart
as if to say
I'm never letting
you go
Full Moon
today I noticed I am a lot
like the moon
ignored and unexplored when
I am barely there
just a sliver in the darkness
but when I am at my best
full and vibrant
that is when I am noticed
that is when the wolves howl
to feel alive
Symphony
whoever says silence is not a sound
has never been alone for so long
that they write a song to the
beat of their own heart
or memorize the
rhythm of their breathing
only then
amidst utter silence
can you close your eyes
and hear a symphony
Words
when my heart aches
it’s words that pour out
not blood
and these words
are more powerful than
the sharpest sword
they are carved
by desire
and anger
but have more beauty than
the largest pearl
like blood
however
they stain every surface
they touch
breathing life into all
wh
o will listen
Echo
I hear your name in every sound
but you are the loudest
when the wind blows
howling your name into the humid air
and spinning up
to the treetops
and the birds in their nests
echo the air
and the branches stir
waving hello to you
wherever you are
Seawater
you erected a home among
the shadows of people long gone
and now you wait each day
for the sun to rise so you can
free yourself from the confinement
of her haunting silhouette
and you dream of seawater washing
over her footprints in the sand
so you don’t have to step in them
why are you living in an echo
when you are so much more
than the words spoken before you
why are you living in your scars
