by Jules Court
She’d been randomly assigned Priya as a roommate their freshman year in college and one of the things that had cemented their friendship, besides long nights in the library, was their shared wariness about relationships. Getting involved with men was a fantastic way to derail your future.
She looked at the cozy foursome. Priya had sat back down next to Brian, and Cruz sat across from her, closest to Erin, with his date next to him. “That’s okay,” she said. “I’m just getting a takeout order. Gotta get back to the office.”
“It’s Friday night. Even I have the night off,” Priya said.
“The devil never sleeps,” Cruz said dryly.
Was that supposed to be a joke? There was no smile on his face. But then, she’d never seen him smile. Cruz was broodier than a teenage vampire.
“You have a problem with my job?” If so, he could take a number. Defense attorneys even got crap from other attorneys, except the Med Mal ambulance chasers—in the lawyer lineup, public interest lawyers were on the top and medical malpractice the bottom, just under defense and divorce lawyers.
“The job where you put criminals back on the street? Yeah, I have a problem with that,” he said. He leaned back against his chair in a casual way that made her want to kick it out from under him.
Brian’s mouth was hanging open and Priya looked similarly stunned. Cruz’s date was staring fixedly at her tostada.
“He’s kidding, Erin,” Brian said once he snapped his mouth shut. He scooped a chair from the empty neighboring table and dragged it over. “Ignore him.”
She remained standing but bent toward Cruz. “They’re not criminals just because you said they were. And there’s a little thing called the Fourth Amendment. Without defense attorneys, who would make sure cops weren’t trampling all over it? Or more than they already do. It’s not like prosecutors are going to care that you’re committing unconstitutional search and seizures. Without defense attorneys challenging the police, you’d be free to arrest the person closest to you or the person that fits your profile, call it day and go eat a donut.”
Cruz’s date leaned in front of him to give Erin a little half wave. “Hi, I’m Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth’s sudden interjection broke the current between him and Erin, who drew back, obviously startled. Almost as startled as Danny felt. A warm flush moved across his cheekbones. He’d almost gotten into a yelling fight in the middle of a restaurant. His abuela would have boxed his ears for that.
But from the first moment he’d seen Erin that hot August day, striding down the corridors of the police station, coming for him, there was just something about her. He just couldn’t brush her off. She stuck to him. The rest of the world was gray and she was cherry red.
He didn’t like it at all.
“Erin Rafferty,” she stammered out to Elizabeth. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually such a bitch.” She gave Danny a glare, daring him to contradict her. He kept his mouth shut—about time. “I went to college with Priya,” she added.
“I work at the hospital with her,” Elizabeth said pleasantly. It was official. Kissing her would be like sticking your tongue down a nun’s throat. He mentally crossed himself for that little piece of blasphemy.
“Well, I’m just going to go place my order,” Erin said shifting from foot to foot.
Once she left earshot, Brian said, “So, that was awkward.”
Priya folded her hands like she meant business. “Erin’s my friend. You don’t have to like her, Daniel, but I’m not going to let you be rude to her.”
“She kicked his ass in court this morning,” Brian said.
“Other way around,” he corrected.
But Priya was right. He liked Priya and if Brian didn’t fuck things up, it seemed she would be around for a while. So if he wanted to stay in good with her, he needed to man up and apologize for being a jerk, first to Erin and then to Elizabeth.
He stood up. “Excuse me.”
Erin was headed toward the back of the restaurant to the hallway leading to the restrooms. He came up behind her before she could push open the ladies’ room door and cleared his throat.
She whirled around. Her smudged eyeliner accented the dark circles under her eyes, so very blue against her white skin. “What do you want?”
To apologize, he should have said. Instead he found himself asking, “What do you know about what happened in New York?”
“I went to law school with a guy who works in the DA’s office down there. I called him.”
“To dig up dirt on me?”
“It’s called research.”
“You wasted your time because there was nothing to dig up.” Anything he’d done while undercover, his superiors had not only condoned but actively encouraged. Not that it made it any easier to live with. He squared his shoulders and began again. “I should apologize,” he said, forcing the words past his throat. He wasn’t impersonating a gangbanger anymore.
“You should. You were a dick. Not that I expected anything else.”
“I’ve never been anything but professional with you,” he said. “You’re just pissed because you came at me like a banshee in court and it backfired. Maybe if you hadn’t been so angry, you wouldn’t have had to settle.”
“Angry?” Her voice climbed half an octave and her cheeks pinked. “Is this where you tell me I’m supposed to be nice?”
Never. “Don’t get mad at me because you’re a lousy attorney,” he said. How much redder could she get? He felt almost like he was standing outside himself watching some asshole deliberately antagonize a woman. “Have you ever considered a career change?”
The crack of her slap across his face startled him more than the actual slap. He’d been kissed harder than that. His hand automatically reached up to touch the spot. Something deep inside loosened. He felt his lips tilt upward. Was he smiling?
Her hand flew up to her mouth. “Oh my God,” she said. “I am so, so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Oh my God. I haven’t hit anyone in a long time and that was because I had to. And even then I didn’t slap them. Who slaps people outside of plays? I can’t believe I just committed assault.”
“Assault and battery, counselor,” he said, watching her chest rise up and down, up and down, with her panicked breathing.
“I’m going to get fucking disbarred for this shit.”
He wanted her to hit him again. The thought was more startling than the slap. It rocked him back on his heels. But she was still too close, flushed, her pupils dilated. He caught the faintest hint of jasmine making him want to breathe her in. He did the only thing he could.
He retreated, turning his back on her big eyes, while the blood raced through his veins.
As he grabbed his jacket off his chair, he thought he may have stammered something about having to leave to Brian, Priya and Elizabeth, but he couldn’t be sure. He only had the presence of mind to throw some money on the table before taking off.
Outside, the cold air smacked him in the face just like Erin had, it was exactly what he needed to clear his head. He strode off as fast as he could down the packed sidewalk, dodging slow-moving pedestrians. He had to move.
This time it was she who caught up with him. Heels clicked on the pavement behind him and he didn’t have to turn around to know it was her. The cross examination she’d subjected him to had shown him how persistent she was. He kept walking, only half hoping she’d give up.
How fucked up was that?
Chapter Three
Her first instinct was to hide in the ladies’ room. She’d always had a temper, but she’d never thought of herself as the abusive type.
But hiding wouldn’t make what she’d done go away. She had to face it. Something about Cruz just got under her skin. Something about that aloof iciness. She never could get a reaction from him. Maybe that wa
s why she’d pushed so hard when he was on the stand. She’d let her personal feelings interfere with providing the best possible representation she could for her client. He’d been right. She was a terrible attorney. He’d unerringly punched through to her greatest fear. But all of that didn’t excuse what she’d done. She’d left behind that life where you settled things with violence.
When she finally emerged from the bathroom, she forced herself to return to the table. But Cruz wasn’t there. Priya looked up at her, dark eyes full of questions, but it was her boyfriend who piped up.
“What’d you do to Danny?” Brian asked. “He took off like a bat out of hell.”
She felt her skin turn a deep scarlet. “Nothing,” she lied. He was already gone. Too bad. “Did he just leave?”
“A minute ago.”
She could still catch him and apologize. Fuck.
“Where are you going?” Priya asked.
“I’ll talk to you later!” she called out over her shoulder as she dashed off to see a man she didn’t want to and deliver an apology that made her cringe just contemplating it.
She caught up to him down the block. A tall, dark figure in a black wool jacket. He walked precisely, back ramrod straight. It almost looked artificial as though he overcompensated for a natural tendency to slouch.
She was winded, cheeks flushed with exertion. When she yelled, “Cruz!” to get his attention, it came out embarrassingly breathy. She dropped her head and sucked in precious air.
He stopped. Turned around. Said nothing. Just stared at her with that unnerving unblinking thing he did.
“I better not have ripped a seam,” she said. “This suit is in heavy rotation. I don’t have time to take it to a tailor.” Or the extra money. Every penny was preciously budgeted for. That she’d opted for unplanned takeout tonight was bad enough.
“What do you want?” he said. His voice was flat, affectless.
“About what happened...”
He gave a little wave. As if it was nothing.
But it wasn’t nothing. She’d hit him. “I need to apologize.”
A pedestrian sidestepped them, giving her a dirty look for blocking the sidewalk. Cruz put a hand on her arm. She stiffened. But he only used it to steer her a few steps to the right into the doorway of a closed coffee shop.
She braced herself and looked up at him, waiting for him to speak. But still he said nothing.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“I’m waiting for your apology.”
Her stomach was in knots, anxiety clawed her nerves and he stood so still, so unaffected. It wasn’t fair that he had so much power over her while she wasn’t even an annoyance to him. She’d hit him!
She just needed a reaction, something to force him to acknowledge her. Something to shake that preternatural calm.
Reaching up, she hauled his head toward hers. Her kiss landed with more enthusiasm than skill.
What the hell was she doing?
Something within Daniel Cruz had been shocked into life by her slap, his inner Frankenstein’s monster. And that monster was ready for the hotheaded lawyer’s kiss, which was pouring jet fuel on a campfire. He exploded.
He should have pulled away. But when she ground her mouth against his, he returned her kiss wildly instead. Her hair was scraped back in a low bun—he ripped the elastic loose, freeing it. He wrapped the long strands around his fist and pulled her head to the side exposing her neck. Her pulse pounded wildly against her skin. The blood in his veins echoed it. A wild thud, thud, thud. He wanted to devour her. When his lips met her skin, she shuddered.
He kissed a trail down her neck, but her heavy wool coat was in the way. His chin scratched against it. Too many damn layers separated them.
Her arms snaked around him, one hand reaching up and caressing the back of his head. He returned his lips to hers as she tightened her embrace.
The lone spark of sanity in the back of his chaotic brain screamed that he was being too rough, too demanding. He was probably hurting her. He pulled away.
She looked up at him with eyes too big for her face and puffy, bruised lips.
“Fuck,” he said.
He turned tail and took off. But his monster came with him.
Chapter Four
One moment he was kissing her neck like a ravenous beast and the next he was pushing her away. He simply left. Erin sagged against the wall of the coffee house letting the cold brick support her. Who knew the Iceman had all that in him?
And once again he was walking away from her. How many times in one day could a man give her his back?
She pushed herself off the wall. She had two options now. Go back to her office and get cracking on that memo for Smarmy Scotty, the smart choice. Or go home to bed, putting this whole insane day behind her. But the way her body was cranked up right now, that probably wouldn’t happen. She’d probably only to toss and turn in her empty bed. Neither option was very attractive.
Cruz was gone. He’d turned a corner and left her behind. What he hadn’t done was go back to the restaurant. Maybe this night could still be salvaged. But instead of tacos, she was going to get the biggest, strongest margarita they could make.
Inside, Priya still sat with Elizabeth. She jumped up. “You’re back,” she said.
“I forgot to pick up my order,” Erin said. She hadn’t even placed it.
“Is everything okay? You’re...” Priya made a gesture toward her hair.
Erin reached up only to discover she’d lost her elastic and her hair was an undoubtedly frizzy mess. Great. She had sex hair. She grabbed another elastic from her coat pocket and coiled her hair back up on her head. “Where’s Brian?” she asked in an attempt to change the subject.
“He went to go meet his brother Will, but we decided to stay here for another drink,” Priya said. “So, you ran out pretty quickly, and right after Danny. Something you want to tell us?”
That she thought she was going crazy. That sometimes she didn’t think she could hold it together anymore. That kissing Cruz had felt like flying. “Just a coincidence,” she said.
“Why don’t you have a drink with us?” Elizabeth asked, because she had to be some sort of Disney princess. Not only had Erin ruined her date, but she’d then made out with said date in the street—not that Elizabeth, or anyone, was going to find out that part. Cruz wouldn’t say anything. He better not say anything because it was bad enough walking into a station house full of cops to see an in-custody client without everyone knowing that she’d played tonsil hockey in the street like some sexed-up adolescent.
Yes, a drink was exactly what she needed. She sank down into one of the chairs. “So, you seeing Detective Cruz again?” she asked Elizabeth. Not because she cared, but because it was a topic of conversation, that’s all.
“Doubtful,” Elizabeth said. “Priya, I love you, but you are never setting me up again.”
“Sorry. He’s not usually like that. He’s a bit guarded and not much of a talker, but he’s a good guy,” Priya said. “At least I thought he was.”
Luckily, the waitress came by before Erin could shoot her mouth off about what kind of a guy Cruz really was. The kind who was a little bit rough, especially when he’d pulled her hair. The kind that had soft lips and hard hands.
“I’ll have a margarita, no salt, and don’t be shy with the Cuervo,” she told the waitress.
A round of margaritas later, the topic of conversation had moved from polite to downright raunchy and Erin was reassessing her initial impression of Elizabeth. Priya’s coworker wasn’t as nice as she seemed. Not even half a drink in she’d begun talking about her dry spell, which, as it does, led to a discussion of male genitalia.
“I’m a nurse,” Elizabeth was saying. “I’ve seen more penises than I could snap a rubber glove
at. They’ve completely lost all mystery.”
“But there’s a difference between medical cock and romance cock,” Priya said, waving the straw from her drink for emphasis.
Erin laughed. “Romance cock? Is it wearing a bow tie? Nestled in a bed of rose petals?”
“Tiny top hat,” Elizabeth said.
“Something you want to tell us about Brian?” Erin teased.
Priya flushed and took a big gulp off her drink. “You shut up. You don’t even want to know how beautiful Brian’s cock is,” she said in a voice just a little too loud for penis talk.
Erin couldn’t help but laugh. Elizabeth and Priya joined her, and their combined laughter made several diners swerve their heads to stare. Which of course made them laugh louder.
But before too long, Elizabeth and Priya began making the “I have to leave” noises. Although the margaritas had taken the edge off a little, Erin’s brain was still whirring. After turning down Priya’s offer of a ride, she hugged both women good-night and stepped out into the night.
She pulled her collar up tighter around her throat. With Priya and Elizabeth gone, she was left with her thoughts. Inevitably, they circled back down the drain. The laughter had only been a temporary fix to a larger problem.
She’d tried to do everything right. Played by their rules and this is what fucking happened. That asshat Smarmy Scotty got to be first chair and she was once again regulated to the bench. She’d been seriously kicking ass with the extra pro bono cases she took on, but the partners didn’t give a crap about that. They didn’t care that she came in early, stayed late and worked weekends.
She passed by the package store on the corner and then spun on her heel. Maybe just a little something to take the rest of the edge off. Today’s events were looping over and over in her head like a bad movie she couldn’t turn off. She just needed her brain to stop for a little while.
