He let out a breath. It hurt a little less knowing she wasn’t open to a relationship with any of them, not just him.
“I have no idea what is going on in our lives right now, I can’t commit to anyone.”
“What if you regain your memories and there isn’t someone else?” He asked her, a little hopeful.
“I imagine there would be, Zura didn’t just pop up out of thin air.” She dropped her arms, fisting her hands at her side before opening her hands and lightly shaking them. She was trying to relax, to change the tone of the conversation. It had grown heavy rather quickly. “I know you can’t reproduce, but you must know where babies come from.”
He laughed. His heart was aching at the possibility he may never have her, but still, she made him smile. “Yes. I’m rather versed in the process, though I’ve never been granted the desired results.” He lifted his brows mischievously.
Melas laughed lightly. “I fell into your laps and for whatever reason, you guys have helped us try to navigate all this. Although I’m thankful, I’m not thankful enough to agree to this mate thing.”
Orren bit the inside of his cheek to keep from showing his disappointment. “I understand.”
“Do you?” She lifted a brow.
He wasn’t sure he did. Although mates weren’t as common anymore, he didn’t think he ever heard of someone being mated and just deciding they didn’t want any part of the union. Just walking away to be alone, or with someone else.
Mates was the equivalent of the romanticized idea of soul mates humans often held onto. Only intensified. It wasn’t chance. You would meet and you would be together.
It was as simple as that.
You were designed to be magnets, drawn to one another. She came to him, asked him to find her and he had. Now, she was telling him she was just passing through.
He was frustrated but telling her that wouldn’t change her mind. As much as she avoided him, he observed her enough to know she wouldn’t change her mind just because he desperately wanted her to.
She was logical. She thought this through and decided her decision was the most reasonable one.
“I understand.” He said finally.
The look in her eyes told him she didn’t believe him but was done having this conversation.
“Good luck convincing Andrei though.” He joked, trying to lighten the mood. “The poor guy is willing to be stabbed by you over and over again just to steal a kiss. Something tells me he will not take your refusal without falling to pieces.”
Melas smiled lightly. “He isn’t what I imagined a Vampire would be. He’s very… emotional.”
Dramatically rolling his eyes, he leaned forward on his arms. “Try spending centuries with him. It really is always something with Andrei.”
Shuddering dramatically, she wrapped her arms around herself. “I don’t know if I would survive centuries of his mood swings.” Picking up her coffee, she saluted him with two fingers, then walked off.
She meant it as a joke, but it stung. “No more avoiding me, please.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She called as she walked up the stairs.
If she accepted being their mate, they would spend an eternity together. Her saying she wouldn’t survive Andrei’s moods only drove home the point she was trying to make. She didn’t think she belonged with them.
All the signs were there, but they didn’t mean anything to her.
Orren had never been rejected. There was something about his species that made most attracted to him. Though, even if he had been, he didn’t think he would have minded. He never wanted anyone badly enough for their dismissal of his wants and needs to matter.
There was always another option.
Always another set of arms.
Always another bed.
Melas turning him down and refusing to acknowledge the pull of being mates felt so final. She closed a door to all possibilities of happiness for him.
He rubbed at his chest trying to soothe the storm of emotions inside him.
If they were right and she was their mate, they would get nowhere constantly trying to convince her of it. She was stubborn and had so much more to deal with right now than a mate bond she didn’t even fully understand.
The best thing they all could do for her right now was help her in any way she needed. Hopefully the more she saw they fit into her life, even now during all the chaos, the more open she would be to them being a permanent part of their lives when all this was done.
He needed to be a part of her life.
One way or the other.
Now she was here, he never wanted to let her go.
29
ORREN
The chaos in his mind wouldn’t settle, just as the weight in his chest refused to lift. They were gifted the golden goose, a mate, and she was refusing to acknowledge it. Worse, she acknowledged it but rebuked the idea.
His existence thus far had been obscure. Born of the shadows and slinking through the night in the unknowing subconscious minds of beings often made him feel like his life was shades of grey. He was as much the shadows he was born from, and that hadn’t bothered him in the slightest.
Until Melas and Zura.
Melas challenged him, igniting a passion and purpose in him. Zura was a rainbow, adding life and light to every other aspect of his life. The thought someone was hunting them fuelled him with a rage he thought would burn him to ash.
If she would only accept the mating, forget her stubbornness, he was sure they would know happiness. Hell, he already tasted it and wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to give it up.
Ridhor was the only one not affected by her refusal. He seemed to be soaking up their presence as much as he could, uncaring of the huge Kraken-sized issue left unresolved.
Orren wasn’t sure how he was managing it. He was sure his beast would be rabid, closer to the surface as his emotions ripped through Ridhor’s flesh releasing him from his cage.
Andrei, ever the constant in their group, was beside himself. He had come from a life where a community was a pillar in who he was. The idea of being mated, of having a family, it called to the person he was before the Vampire. He longed for it.
It was Andrei who ushered them all together for a meeting.
He paced the room, lacking the erratic energy he normally pulsed with. His steps were smooth and graceful, more like the Andrei other people got to see. He shoved his hands into his black slacks, held up by an expensive designer black belt. Always one to be fashionable. His brown hair pushed back from his face, a few strands falling forward over his brow. “I think it’s good she knows.” He said finally, running black painted nails down the front of his shirt.
Ever the image of unbothered, Ridhor sat in a high-backed chair, his ankle resting on the top of his thigh. A body of muscle, yet he still managed to look completely relaxed as his eyes stayed on Andrei, waiting for him to continue his line of thought.
As emotional as he may seem, there was always logic buried in his rantings.
“Melas is very singular-minded, whether that is right now or how she is in general, we won’t know until she gets her memories back. All she can think about is finding a way to get her memories back and protecting her and Zura. She never would have even thought of the possibility of us being permanent figures in her life unless we put that thought there.” He ran a hand over his jaw.
That was true enough.
The idea of a relationship was the last thing that would have come to her mind. Anything more solid and long-term than a sexual dalliance wouldn’t be something she humoured from any of them. Once she found out where she needed to go, she would leave without sparing them a backwards glance.
Knowing that made Orren’s jaw flex in frustration.
He wanted her to miss them.
He would miss them if they left. Zura had this way of lightening the darkest mood and making them smile. He didn’t know the last time he smiled as often as he did living under the same roof as Zura. If he ever had. Me
las awakened something in him he thought was impossible. Melas had a way of making everything impossible seem possible.
It made every moment spent with her seem magical.
How she thought she was human was beyond him. She radiated this wonder he knew had to be magic.
Leaning back in his chair, he let his eyes settle on Andrei, the only one steering the conversation. “Still, I never thought I would be mated to anyone. I didn’t think I would be mated to someone who was mated to you meatheads.” He rolled his eyes dramatically, but couldn’t hide the little smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Ridhor nodded. “Being mated is rare. To be mated in a group, even rarer.” He agreed.
It was his first thought too. The signs of Melas being his mate was enough to make him feel unbalanced. When Andrei hinted he was feeling the same things, Orren wondered what the chances were. Ridhor didn’t even have to tell them he was feeling the same way. A Berserker as old as him completely losing control that had taken him so long to build was evidence enough.
She had them wrapped around her finger. She either didn’t realize or didn’t care. Both were not ideal.
His silver eyes landed on Andrei’s golden ones. “We share everything else. Why would we think a mate would be any different?”
Discussing all this would change nothing, but it did bring him a little comfort. Misery loved company, and though Ridhor seemed unaffected, it was clear Andrei was just as miserable as Orren was.
“None of that matters, because she doesn’t want to be mated,” Ridhor said flatly.
“Yet.” Andrei retorted.
“No, not yet. At all. The whole idea of being destined for someone is laughable to her. Telling her she was destined for all of us came off like some weak attempt to start some sort of harem. She didn’t seem interested in either option.” His gruffness killed whatever hope bloomed in Andrei’s chest.
Slagging slightly, he inhaled deeply. “Love takes time.”
It was such a naive thing to say, and very Andrei. Orren didn’t want to be the one to tell him love wasn’t always enough. Whatever world Melas existed in, love didn’t even seem to be on her radar. She was a stubborn woman, and even if she did fall in love with him, he suffered no delusions. It wouldn’t be enough to keep her here.
Andrei was a romantic, his whole species was. In his mind, if the love was there it would solve everything.
Orren lived in the minds of others. He knew that wasn’t true. Some would claim it was, but in the vulnerability of sleep, he knew other things always trumped their love. Their greed, their lust, even their pride could swat love away as though it was nothing more than a bug.
“Love is not enough.” He was thinking it, but it was Ridhor who pricked his pin of truth into Andrei’s balloon of hope.
His eyes widened, turning to look at both of them in turn. “You can’t be serious. Of course, it is. Once she’s in love with us, combined with the pull of being mates, she will be drawn to us and not want to separate.”
Letting out a breath of annoyance, Orren tried not to be harsh. “Melas lives the kind of life where she doesn’t do things for herself. She’s used to sacrificing.”
“Not love. She hasn’t been in love.” Andrei’s eyes begged for him to agree, needing the strength of being a united front on this.
“How do you know?” Orren tried not to raise his voice, the truth of it all pressing into his chest and making him irritable. “She has no memories of anything before this. Which stands to reason, she could have loved someone before coming to us and simply not remember. Not to mention, she has a daughter. Where do you think Zura came from? Do you think she just fell from the sky?” Melas’ words from earlier were still slicing at his chest.
His brows furrowed. “Don’t patronize me, Orren. Though I can’t make one, I know where babies come from. That being said, I’m not so naive to think love has to be involved in conception. Especially if she didn’t believe she was able.”
He hadn’t thought of that.
None of them had any doubt she was magical. If that were as true as they believed, getting pregnant must have been a surprise. It could have been anyone, someone she met in passing, a night of lust to blow off some tension. It didn’t have to be some drawn-out romance or long-term commitment.
Looking over at Ridhor, he could see he was thinking the same thing.
Having a baby wasn’t something anyone in the realms planned for. They couldn’t catch diseases or get pregnant so there wasn’t a need to take any type of precautions. If you could suddenly get pregnant—
The look on their faces was enough to perk Andrei back up. “Who she is now is the same as who she was before we found her.”
Orren’s brow dropped. “Meaning?”
“Meaning, if she is so opposed to relationships and commitments now, she likely was before. Even without her memories, she’s still Melas.”
“True.” He nodded slowly, still thinking. “We can’t be sure but—”
“Then, she probably wasn’t in love. Or if she was, it wasn’t enough to keep them together. She couldn’t be in love. If she was, where the hell are they?” Andrei scoffed. “If it were me, I would be tearing the realms apart to find them.”
So would he.
The thought made the corners of his mouth drop, still unused to being so enamoured with someone. It was like poison. She had broken through his skin and was now moving through his veins, taking over every inch of him. As someone who needed control, he couldn’t completely submit to it. It still made him wary.
He wondered if that was how Melas must feel.
“That still doesn’t change anything,” Orren said finally. “It just reminds us that love would never be enough for her.”
Andrei frowned. “Unless she hasn’t been in love before and we show her it is.”
He was obsessed. His whole world had become Melas and Zura in such a short amount of time. Orren was a little worried for the poor sap. If he was right, and love wasn’t enough for Melas, when she walked away it would destroy him.
Andrei in a rage wasn’t something any of the realms wanted. There were still stories about the last time he had gone into one. Cities on fire, bodies completely drained strewed about the streets across all the realms.
He was too emotionally invested. As much as Orren wished he could lower his expectations, he knew he couldn’t.
Andrei liked to jump into things without a second thought.
A slow grin crept across his face. “Could you imagine watching Zura grow?”
Giddiness filled Orren, he made a conscious effort to keep off his face. Watching Zura grow would be a blessing he wouldn’t dare hope for. Lilith herself could not grant him such a gift.
“I wish I’d been there in the beginning. Got to see her as a baby. She was probably the most beautiful baby in all the realms.”
A small grin touched Ridhor’s lips. “I’ve no doubt. Those beautiful emerald eyes.”
“Her little curls.” Andrei smiled.
“That smile.” Orren couldn’t help but add, a smile of his own stretching across his face.
“Little baby fingers.” Andrei swooned at the thought. “I would give anything to go back and see her as a baby.” He had this far away, dreamy tone to his words.
They all wished they could have been there. Zura was as much theirs as Melas was and his heart suddenly ached at all the moments he already missed.
First laugh, crawling, first steps, first words.
A hole was growing in his heart at the memories he hadn’t been a part of. He hoped Melas enjoyed all those moments. Hadn’t been fighting or on the run. He wanted to recover her memories so she could share them. So they could get a peek into their lives before they came together.
“Do you think she could have more children?” Andrei asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Orren stiffened. She already had Zura, which meant it had to be possible to have more.
Andrei’s gaze shot to Ridhor.
/>
He watched Ridhor for any sign of a change, but he sat as unmoving as ever. His face a blank slate giving no hint of what was going on beneath the surface.
A child.
His heart squeezed in his chest at the possibility.
“She’d only take the child when she left.” Ridhor’s solemn words shattered the happiness in the room. Sucking all hope Andrei slowly built up. “It would only make things more difficult for us because it wouldn’t change anything.”
Stuttering as he tried to find the words, Andrei ripped his hands out of his pockets as he took a few steps closer to Ridhor. “We wouldn’t let her.”
Ridhor laughed, a harsh sound that made them both jump in surprise. It wasn’t a sound they heard often. With it lacking any hint of humour, it was a terrifying sound. “Who would keep her here? You? Orren? Me? She’s already proved she has strength enough to know we couldn’t strong-arm her into doing anything we wanted. Even if we could, would we want to? Yes, a baby would be a gift, but unless it’s one she wants us to share with her, it wouldn’t mean anything. She’s already alone with one baby, that should be hint enough she doesn’t need her children to have a father, or—” He gestured between them. “—fathers.”
Sweet Lilith, that was a truth Orren didn’t want to hear.
Sucking in a breath, he turned to look at them all. “I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“All we can do now is show her we have feelings for her and make ourselves useful.” Ridhor nodded at Orren. “Orren is right, I know you think love conquers all, Andrei, but it won’t mean anything to her. Our usefulness will. If we can convince her we have some use in her life, she will be more likely to keep us around. Right now, that’s as simple as providing her with places she will need across the realms.”
Showing her they were a resource was the smartest way to convince her to keep them around. Orren knew Ridhor was right, he knew her best.
Hidden In Darkness (A Seven Realms Book Book 1) Page 23
