by Maz Evans
‘Uh-huh,’ said Elliot grimly. ‘Just imagine it, pouring out of the door, seeping into your home, drenching everything you touch . . .’
Polyphemus started to shake uncontrollably.
‘I mean, personally, I love the idea of water running between my toes, sloshing around the floor, making everything lovely and . . . wet,’ Elliot said to the hyperventilating Cyclops. ‘All that water flowing through your cave, gushing and slopping and pouring . . . But, like I say, it’s up to you.’
‘OK!’ squealed Polyphemus. ‘But you’ll have to go in by yourself. I can’t run the risk of touching any—’
‘Wet stuff,’ said Elliot. ‘That’s absolutely fine, that’s what I’m here for. I just want to take a quick look.’
‘You won’t touch anything?’
‘Wouldn’t dream of it,’ said Elliot, with as sincere a smile as he could manage.
‘OK,’ said the Cyclops. ‘This is going to take a minute, as I specifically requested the most secure system money could buy. So, first of all, we need a retina scan from my eye. It’s totally unique and the only thing that can open the door from the outside.’
‘Very sensible,’ said Elliot, as Polyphemus held his eye to the red pad near the door. A ray of light shone from the pad and scanned his eye up and down, then turned green. The door clicked open.
‘You go in,’ said Polyphemus, moving cautiously away from the door. ‘I’ll talk you through it.’
Elliot peered into the dark safe that contained a mystical Chaos Stone hidden in a Cyclops’s cave. His life was truly weird.
He took a step inside, just as Polyphemus slammed the door behind him. And then it hit him. Sitting on a plinth in the centre of the room was a vast red ruby. The Water Stone. He took a step towards it. Immediately, the room filled with strings of red lasers.
‘Be careful, or you’ll trip the lasers,’ Polyphemus shouted from outside.
Elliot swallowed down a swear word.
‘Er, I need to make sure they are operative,’ he said. ‘How do you shut them off ?’
‘There’s a button,’ said Polyphemus.
‘Where?’ said Elliot, peering through the labyrinth of red light.
‘On the far side of the lasers.’
‘Great,’ Elliot sighed.
‘So – how is it?’
‘Soaking,’ said Elliot quickly. ‘I’m going to have to take a look around. How do I get through them?’
‘There is a path,’ said Polyphemus. ‘I can talk you through it, but anyone would be crazy to try it.’
‘Will it set off another alarm?’
‘No. The lasers slice through whatever touches them like a thunderbolt through butter. They can cut through anything. They could chop you up like an overripe banana! Seemed more effective than an alarm. You listening?’
‘Sure,’ said Elliot. It had been weeks since his life had been in danger. Why not risk it again?
‘So, firstly, take two steps to the left,’ said Polyphemus.
Elliot took two tentative steps to his left. He felt something wet and slimy slop on to his hand. He’d forgotten he was still holding the vegetable smoothie. He bent down to put it on the floor, but a laser running dangerously close to his chest prevented him. He was stuck with it.
‘Then you’ll have to lift your left leg in front and stretch out your left arm above your head,’ said Polyphemus.
‘Why?’ asked Elliot.
‘Because any second now, there will be—’
A huge burst of flames shot across the floor, precisely where Elliot’s left leg and arm would have been.
‘A huge burst of flames shooting across the floor, precisely where your left leg and arm would have been.’
‘Thanks,’ said Elliot, extinguishing the end of a scorched shoelace. This was going to be fun.
Carefully following Polyphemus’s instructions, Elliot made his way cautiously through the room. Twice his hair was singed by lasers overhead, he melted the sole of his left shoe when he didn’t pick his foot up high enough, and he nudged a laser with his bottom.
Eventually, with a sigh of extreme relief and rather singed trousers, he reached the plinth. He saw the red button and shut off the lasers. There, before him, was the Water Stone.
Elliot immediately experienced the power surge he always felt in the presence of the Chaos Stones. His whole body tingled at the prospect of the command he could have over three elements: Earth, Air and now Water. Zeus had warned him never to use the stones – but he could do so much good with them. There were so many places in the world that needed water – or had too much. Imagine if he could help them. Imagine if he had that much power. Imagine . . . He reached his hand towards it. It was so close. So very, very close . . .
‘And then the pressure pad ensures that, even if someone gets through all of that, the moment the stone is moved by anyone but me, a big boulder will fall from the ceiling and smash their head in.’
‘I thought you didn’t kill mortals any more?’ said Elliot nervously, looking at the massive boulder suspended from the ceiling.
‘Oh, I don’t eat them – they clog up your colon like nobody’s business,’ shuddered Polyphemus. ‘But if any of them tried to steal something from me, I’d kill them until they were dead.’
‘Good to know,’ Elliot whispered. A pressure pad. He’d seen a film with one of these once – the Water Stone would need to be replaced with something else of equal weight, or he’d be squished like a fly on a windscreen. He looked at the stone. It was pretty substantial. He needed something small but heavy to take its place. Something like . . .
His eyes lit on the glass of green sludge in his hand. Something exactly like that.
Elliot weighed up the glass of smoothie, which by now had slightly congealed and smelt even more like it had already cleansed someone’s colon.
He raised it to the plinth and held his breath. He’d have to do this quickly but perfectly, first time. He steadied his hands, held the glass above the Water Stone and let out a long, slow breath. He was going to do it in one . . . two . . . thr—
‘Everything OK in there?’ yelled Polyphemus.
Elliot jumped. The smoothie slipped from his hand. Everything seemed to drop into slow motion. He watched aghast as the glass fell, nearer, nearer, nearer . . . It was going to hit the Water Stone in three – two – one . . .
But before his body and brain had time to discuss it, Elliot’s right hand whipped the Water Stone away. A nanosecond later, the glass of smoothie landed squarely on the pressure pad. Had he been quick enough? Clutching the ruby, he flung his arms over his head in a futile attempt to protect himself from the boulder.
It didn’t fall. He had done it.
Elliot allowed himself a few silent fist pumps to celebrate his sheer epicness.
‘Yeah, it’s drenched in here,’ he called back. ‘I’m coming out.’
He swaggered over to the door, looked at the glass of green sludge sitting on the plinth and congratulated himself on a job well done.
‘I’ll have to send my team over to dry it out,’ he said, emerging back into the cave and slamming the door safely behind him. ‘Don’t go in there, whatever you do.’
‘Oh, thank goodness,’ said Polyphemus, breathing a sigh of relief. ‘Do you need anything else? Another smoothie, perhaps? I do a wonderful cauliflower and frogspawn kidney cleanser . . .’
‘No, I’ll be on my way,’ said Elliot, hastily shoving the ruby into his pocket as they passed the panic room. ‘I’ll just . . .’
CLUNK!
The Water Stone, falling through the hole in his pocket, hit the floor and rolled endlessly across the floor, coming to an incriminating halt by Polyphemus’s big toe.
‘What’s this?’ roared the Cyclops. ‘Wait a minute! You’re not a security expert! You’re not interested in cleansing your colon! You’re nothing more than a dirty thief – come here, you little—’
And the Cyclops lunged at Elliot, both of his massive hands outstretched to wring
his neck. Elliot backed up against the panic-room doors, but there was nowhere to go. He looked from side to side, what could he—
SMACK!
Before he even registered what he was doing, Elliot hit the pad that activated the panic-room doors. As they slid open, he dived forward, sending Polyphemus flying straight over his head and into the panic room, landing with a thud on the floor. Elliot and Polyphemus both struggled to their feet and charged towards the door pad . . .
Elliot reached it first. He slammed his palm down and the doors locked tight, just in time.
‘Wait until I get my hands on you!’ the Cyclops screamed from inside.
‘I’ll see you in six months!’ Elliot shouted back, picking up the Water Stone. He pulled out his dad’s pocket watch and opened it. The diamond Earth Stone and emerald Air Stone sparkled invitingly. He held the enchanted ruby to the watch, and, just as the others had done, it immediately shrank to fill a quadrant of the inside. He’d done it! Three Chaos Stones. And they looked incredible.
Reluctantly, Elliot closed the lid of the watch. He looked around with satisfaction. Now all he had to do was get out of here. Shouldn’t be too—
The deafening alarm filled the cave once more.
‘Polyphemus!’ came the gruff voice. ‘Come in, Polyphemus!’
Polyphemus shouted from inside the panic room, but it was to no avail. The thick doors prevented the sound from reaching the intercom.
‘Polyphemus!’ the gruff voice bellowed. ‘Do you copy?’
Elliot considered trying to impersonate the Cyclops, but decided that this would simply tell the other giants he was there. The silence was as heavy as Elliot’s thundering heart. He held his breath, lest the crackling intercom picked up the movement of air. Perhaps the other Cyclopes would think it was another false alarm . . .
‘I’m coming over,’ said the voice at last. ‘But I’m warning you. If this is just you meditating again, I’ll smash your skull in.’
Or maybe not.
Elliot opened the kitchen door and peered into the darkness of the vast cave – did he have time to get out before they arrived?
The hillside sliding open gave him his answer. A huge lumbering figure appeared at the mouth of the cave. Another Cyclops. The entrance slammed shut behind him with a sickening crash. Elliot looked all around, but it was no use.
He was trapped.
13. A Friend in Need
‘Right, then,’ Virgo said to herself as she came to the island’s glistening coastline. ‘How to get off the island . . .’
She reflected that on the Zodiac Council there were many perfect ways to come up with ideas. Should she try some free-thinking brainstorming? Or role-playing seminars? Or perhaps produce a twenty-page flow chart?
Yet as she looked out over the ocean, none of these seemed as optimal as building a floating device that could travel across water. Zeus had banned travel by sea. But Virgo reasoned that, as there was no alternative, he’d be delighted with her problem-solving genius. And, of course, Virgo was always right.
She looked around for some raw material. A short walk across the island, she saw a small copse. Wood – that was just what she needed. She made a note to put it in her flow chart.
Walking towards the trees, she found her mind awash with the conversation with Hypnos back on the plane. At the end of the day, who really cares about you – except you? The Daemon’s arguments were ill-considered and incorrect. Not to mention, as Elliot might put it, stupid, pants and bum. She was just going to ignore it. It wasn’t worth another thought. She wouldn’t allow herself to waste another second on it. Wood. That was what she needed now. She would give that her entire focus.
In any case, Hypnos’s argument was clearly sub-optimal. Elliot needed her – the boy couldn’t be trusted to change his underwear without her. Not that he changed it frequently enough anyway. He needed a female companion to guide him through life. All right, so that could be Josie-Mum, were she well again, and maybe at that point Elliot wouldn’t need her any more and would throw her out into the world all alone . . .
But it was nonsense anyway. The Zodiac Council would welcome her back with open arms once she proved herself a hero and regained her kardia. Then her life would resume – all the administration and paperwork and . . . stationery. OK, so there was a remote possibility she might not get her kardia nor her job back . . .
So then the Gods would take care of her. They had expressed a sincere degree of affection for her. She was one of them – an immortal. They were in this together. For ever. So, she might be an immortal who had agreed to the imprisonment of other immortals without trial for an indefinite period of time in order to secure her own kardia, but the Gods would understand. Probably. Maybe. Perhaps . . .
Virgo dismissed the unpleasant sensations swirling around her stomach. She had done absolutely the right thing in supporting her colleagues on the Council. She was ensuring the safety of the Earth. Everything was going to be perfectly fine.
What she needed to do now was get away from this island. She slipped her bag off her shoulder. She had discovered that a handbag was a highly optimal accessory favoured by female mortals for carrying all the things you didn’t even realize you needed. She rifled through the contents: lip balm (three), pencil (blunt), tissues (unused: four), more tissues (used: three), a plastic keyring that had seemed an excellent investment at the time. But nothing of immediate use. She dropped the bag in exasperation. If only she had a—
‘Plop!’
Virgo put her finger to her ear. That beetle in her brain really was causing havoc. She thought she could hear—
‘Plop!’
There it was again! She looked down at her bag, which was twitching curiously. She opened it cautiously and observed a large green mass inside. Either those dirty tissues had leaked or this was . . .
‘Gorgy!’ she cried, trying hard to be displeased at her pet gorgon. ‘Whatever are you doing here?’
Gorgy bounced out of the bag and into her arms.
‘Mama,’ he cooed up at her. A weaker individual might have found him quite irresistible.
‘Well,’ she smiled, putting the gorgon on her shoulder, ‘it seems I have no choice but to keep you with me. How very inconvenient . . .’
Virgo set off towards the sun-dappled trees. A small group of Dryads were making daisy chains in the grass and throwing them gleefully over each other’s heads. Virgo watched the wood nymphs from a distance. What a ridiculous waste of time to sit around laughing with your friends all day! There must be so many better things to do than languishing in the warm sun, having a joyful time and talking and playing and . . . being with other people. It must feel futile, she thought, as the Dryads burst into peels of happy laughter. Ridiculous! Absurd! Perhaps she should go over and join them for a moment, just to fully understand how pointless it must be . . .
A massive shadow fell across the copse. Virgo looked up at the sky. That was strange. It was still perfectly blue – the sun was shining down as it had been all day. So what was blocking it out?
The ground beneath Virgo’s feet began to tremble with rhythmic thuds. The Dryads reached out to hold each other’s hands. Virgo instinctively ducked behind a tree as leaves rained down from the shaking branches.
The copse grew dark and the Dryads clung to one another, quivering. Shafts of sunlight broke the gigantic shadow apart, revealing that it was not one dark mass, but two.
‘’Ello girls,’ said a voice Virgo had heard before.
The nymphs trembled in their terrified huddle.
‘Who are you?’ one of them asked shakily.
‘Bad plop man,’ whispered Gorgy. Virgo nodded dumbly.
‘Don’t matter who I am,’ said The Ram, stepping into the light. ‘It’s you who’s the problem. The Zodiac Council says you’re a security risk. You’re coming with us.’
The nymphs started to wail and sob.
‘No, please, sir – you don’t understand!’ cried one. ‘We mean no harm �
� here, have one of these.’
She plucked a daisy chain from her hair and threw it at the Titan. The Ram swatted it away with one of his massive hands.
‘You saw them, brother – they just tried to attack me!’ He grinned. ‘They’re resisting arrest . . .’
‘Actually, I think they’re daisies, bruv,’ said The Brain.
‘You’re a melon,’ said The Ram, clipping his brother’s ear. ‘If you won’t come quietly, ladies, you leave us no choice . . .’
‘Quick – run!’ screamed one of the nymphs and the group scattered among the trees.
‘Come on, bruv,’ gloated The Ram, pulling an enormous net and a sack from his back pocket. ‘Let’s make a citizen’s arrest.’
Virgo stood pressed against the tree, her heart pounding. She felt the cold gust as the Titans swept past her, squeezing her eyes shut in the irrational hope it made her invisible. When she dared to open one, she saw the Titans lumbering after their screaming prey. Surely this wasn’t what the Council intended? The Titans were supposed to be rounding up immortals who posed a security risk. Not ones peacefully living their lives. What should she do? She quickly assessed the situation: what were her optimal chances of rescuing the Dryads while evading capture herself ? She came immediately to a sound and logical conclusion.
She gathered Gorgy into her arms – and ran.
Trying to block out the screams of the nymphs echoing around the wood, she pelted as fast as her stumbling legs could carry her, until the sea shimmered ahead once more. Her chest felt as if it might explode, but she kept running until she felt the sand beneath her feet. Then, and only then, did she sink breathlessly to her knees.
‘This is a necessary measure, this is a necessary measure,’ she repeated under her breath.
‘What’s a necessary measure?’ trilled Hypnos at the top of his voice. ‘A straitjacket?’
‘Argh!’ yelled Virgo, startled. She tried to gather herself.
‘Some . . . different wood,’ she panted eventually. ‘What I found was sub-optimal. I’ll search closer to the beach.’
‘Just thought I’d check in.’ Hypnos narrowed his eyes. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
