by Maz Evans
16. Under the Sea
Elliot woke up with a splutter. What had just happened? He remembered being sucked beneath the surface of the sea and then . . . nothing. Had he drowned? Was he dead? Was this . . . heaven?
As his senses awoke, it certainly sounded like everyone was having a good time in heaven. He could hear laughing, singing, glasses clinking and . . . was that – an accordion?
Elliot slowly sat up and shook the water from his ears. He was inside a cage within some kind of giant dome. He walked over to the wall to take a closer look. It was a bubble, the rainbow colours shimmering across its surface. Through the iridescence he could just see that the sea surrounded the dome, save for the sandy surface he was standing on. He poked the wall with his finger. It gave and gave, until his finger poked through into the water beyond. But the bubble didn’t burst. Which, Elliot realized, surveying the millions of gallons of water above him, was kinda lucky. He dusted the sand off. He hated sand. Trust him to land in a heaven full of it.
He took a deep breath – which struck him as odd if he were dead – and squinted towards the light coming from the barred door of his cage. He walked over to see what was happening outside, quickly withdrawing his hands from the sharp coral bars.
Elliot was greeted by what looked like a great big pub. He remembered how Grandad used to take him to the Dog and Dolphin in Little Motbury for a bag of crisps and a glass of lemonade.
‘Where have you been?’ Nan would say when they got home, slapping her spatula menacingly on her hand.
‘Church.’ Grandad would wink at Elliot who would try not to giggle. He’d loved those secret trips to the cosy village tavern.
But this place was huge, with a vast bar running the length of the bubble, lined with wooden barrels from which the customers were filling stone flagons with golden nectar. It was standing room only in the packed tavern, and it was stuffed with every imaginable sea creature – nymphs, mermaids, mermen, half-human-half-fish . . . things.
Elliot’s eye was drawn by some frantically waving arms. Virgo and Hypnos were locked up in cages alongside his.
‘About time too,’ said Virgo. ‘You’ve been asleep for hours.’
‘Plop!’ squealed Gorgy.
‘What’s that doing here?’ Elliot demanded. ‘Get rid of it.’
‘I will not,’ huffed Virgo. ‘Besides, we have bigger things to worry about.’
‘Are we dead?’ Elliot asked.
‘Not yet,’ grinned Hypnos. ‘Welcome to the Coral Cove, the pub that brings new meaning to the phrase “watering hole”.’
‘What are we doing here?’ asked Elliot. ‘And where’s Zeus?’
‘Oh,’ said Virgo. ‘He’s . . . over there.’
Virgo pointed to a very grumpy Zeus bound with seaweed at the foot of a huge throne made of shells. Sprawled across the throne, swigging from a golden tankard, was a man of not dissimilar age and build to Zeus, right down to the big belly and white beard. He was dressed in a long blue coat, like the kind Elliot had seen in pictures of old naval officers, with a frilly white shirt sticking out at the chest and cuffs. His trousers were cut off at the knee, as apparently was his left leg, which had been replaced by a coral stump. He wore a golden eyepatch over his left eye and a black pirate hat with a whale skeleton pictured on the front. On his left shoulder perched a colourful parrot; in his right hand was an enormous golden trident. It was weird – the more Elliot looked at this pirate guy, the more he looked like Zeus. They could almost be—
‘Brothers!’ roared the pirate, raising his flagon to the crowd. ‘And sisters of the sea! Ahoy there! Welcome to the Coral Cove!’
A huge roar greeted him, and nectar slopped from the flagons raised in salute.
‘As ye know, all o’ye are always me special guests,’ said the pirate. ‘But tonight we have an extra-special visitor. Raise yer tankards to me brother – Zeus!’
Another huge roar went up from the crowd and tankards clashed together in a toast.
‘Brother?’ said Elliot. ‘So this must be—’
‘Poseidon!’ shouted Zeus. ‘This is ridiculous. Release me at once, you scurvy knave!’
An amused gasp went up from the crowd.
‘Ye wound me,’ whispered Poseidon with a grin, clutching his hand to his heart. ‘Is that any way to talk to the brother ye’ve not seen for so long?’
‘You told me you never wanted to see me again!’ shouted Zeus. ‘I have simply agreed to your conditions.’
‘And why be that, landlubber?’ said Poseidon. ‘Why did yer baby brother never want to see ye again? Tell all our friends.’
‘You’re not still going on about that?’ sighed Zeus. ‘It was one date . . .’
‘WITH ME WOIFE!’ barked Poseidon. ‘You went out to dinner with me Amphitrite!’
‘Your ex-wife! I left it a perfectly respectful amount of time before asking her out!’ Zeus shouted back. ‘You had already separated!’
‘At breakfast time!’ yelled Poseidon. ‘Her toast hadn’t separated from the jam before ye pounced on her, ye scurvy dog!’
‘You’ve been divorced for centuries,’ grumbled Zeus. ‘And besides, it didn’t work out between us.’
‘Not surprised,’ said Poseidon, winking at the crowd. ‘Who wants shrimp when ye’re used to lobster!’
A riotous cheer went up in the tavern.
‘Siblings are so sub-optimal,’ sighed Virgo. ‘I’m relieved I don’t have any.’
‘Me too,’ said Elliot. ‘Hypnos – why are we here?’
‘Wait and see . . .’ Hypnos grinned.
‘But I—’
‘Shhhhh,’ hissed Virgo.
‘You shhhhh,’ Elliot hissed back.
‘Ye don’t go fishing in yer brother’s pond. I made meself very clear,’ said Poseidon as the crowd settled back to their drinks. ‘The sea is my kingdom and I told ye never to set foot in it again. If ye did, ye’d be me prisoner. The sea is mine! And now, ye great landlubber, so are you! Avast behind!’
‘What . . . where . . . who’s there?’ said Zeus, trying to turn around in his binding.
‘No one,’ said Poseidon more clearly. ‘I’m just saying – ye’ve got a vast behind!’
The crowd fell about laughing.
‘Now listen here, you stupid old salt,’ growled Zeus. ‘We were on an important mission to reclaim the Water Stone and now thanks to your petty grudge, three Chaos Stones are floating around the ocean!’
‘Are they now?’ said Poseidon, pulling Elliot’s watch from his coat and throwing it up and down in his hand.
Elliot’s heart pounded as he saw his Chaos Stones carelessly tossed in the air. They were his.
‘I thought you said this was going to help me find the potion?’ Elliot hissed at Hypnos. ‘All you’ve done is lost the Chaos Stones!’
‘Where’s the trust?’ squealed Hypnos, feigning hurt. ‘Give it a minute . . .’
‘Will you shhhhh!’ said Virgo.
‘Will you shhhhh,’ Elliot mimicked.
‘Bad plop man,’ whispered Gorgy, sticking his green tongue out at Elliot.
Elliot returned his gaze to the squabbling brothers.
‘Those aren’t yours,’ Zeus growled at the God of the Sea.
‘Me woife wasn’t yours!’ shouted Poseidon. ‘Finders keepers. Huge booty.’
‘That’s not booty,’ scowled Zeus.
‘Never said it was,’ said Poseidon. ‘I’m just saying – ye’ve got a huge booty!’
The crowd roared again.
‘This goes far beyond our petty squabble,’ said Zeus. ‘We need to protect the Earth from Thanatos. Those Chaos Stones are our best hope.’
‘Ye see – there ye go again,’ sighed Poseidon, still throwing the watch up and down. Elliot’s heart pulsated and he gripped the bars, ignoring the pain from the coral. He wanted his Chaos Stones back.
‘Always with the Earth. That’s all ye ever cared about. Never gave a thought to us down here below . . .’
; ‘That’s simply not true,’ said Zeus. ‘I have always—’
‘Looked out for yerself,’ said Poseidon, thrusting the watch in Zeus’s face. ‘Well, two can play at that game. You do what ye’ve got to do. If Thanatos shows his bony britches down here, we’ll be ready for him . . . Besides – I told ye that anything ye took on the water would be mine to keep. That includes this, you and all yer scurvy crew.’
He gestured at the row of cages and the crowd raised their flagons in mock salute.
‘Er – excuse me?’ squawked the parrot on Poseidon’s shoulder.
‘Who’s there?’ snapped Poseidon, leaping out of his throne with his trident aloft.
The parrot took off into the air with its wings outstretched. With a gentle pop, it transformed into a . . . Elliot didn’t really know what it was. A man from the navel up to his long black hair and beard, his bottom half was coiled like a giant snake. He folded his arms and let out a huge sigh next to Poseidon.
‘Thought that was strange,’ said Poseidon. ‘Never had a parrot before. Hello there, Proteus.’
‘And . . . voila,’ said Hypnos, folding his arms and winking at Elliot.
‘I don’t get it,’ said Elliot. ‘How’s he going to help?’
‘Watch and learn,’ said Hypnos quietly.
Poseidon slumped back down on his throne.
‘What are ye doing here?’
‘You hired me to give you guidance,’ said Proteus. ‘So that is what I will do. You need to let Zeus and his friends go and give them every assistance in their quest.’
‘What?!’ roared Poseidon. ‘I’d rather boil me backside in barnacles.’
‘Remind me again,’ said Proteus, stroking his beard. ‘Which one of us is the All-Knowing Shepherd of the Sea, who has the gift of knowing all things, past, present and future?’
Poseidon rolled his eyes.
‘That be ye.’
‘I know,’ said Proteus. ‘So you employ me to tell you anything you need to know.’
‘That be right,’ said Poseidon.
‘I know!’ said Proteus. ‘So when I say that you’re going to let your brother go and help him, it’s not because I want to see his holiday snaps, it’s because—’
‘Ye know,’ sighed Poseidon.
‘I KNOW,’ shouted Proteus. ‘They have an important journey ahead and you aren’t going to stop them – it is destined. Incidentally, it is also destined that you burn your tongue today, so be careful.’
Elliot’s heart was racing. He looked over at Hypnos, who smiled at him smugly. If this Proteus knew everything, he must know where to find Panacea’s potion. Elliot had to talk to him.
‘Honestly,’ scoffed Virgo. ‘Someone who thinks they know everything. How insufferable . . .’
‘Ah – go on, then,’ said Poseidon, using his trident to unbind Zeus. ‘Ye’re no fun.’
‘I know,’ said Proteus sadly.
‘Release the prisoners!’ Poseidon commanded, and immediately Elliot’s cage door swung open.
‘Proteus!’ Elliot cried, struggling to reach him through the crowds. ‘I need to—’
‘You one-eyed wally,’ Zeus shouted at Poseidon, unsheathing a thunderbolt. ‘You’ve always been a jealous little baby. Take this!’
The King of the Gods hurled a thunderbolt at his brother. But, as with the Cyclopes, it simply bounced harmlessly off the God of the Sea.
‘What is going on with these?!’ muttered Zeus. ‘They’re useless. And I have no idea where I put the receipt . . .’
‘Attack a man when he’s down, would ye, brother?’ bellowed Poseidon, rising angrily from his throne. ‘Well, then – have some of this!’
And, with a great roar, he struck his golden trident on the ground.
‘Duck!’ cried Virgo, shielding Gorgy in her arms. ‘Poseidon’s trident commands the sea and everyone in it. It can create seaquakes, tsunamis, tidal waves. This is going to be immense . . .’
Elliot ducked. There was no time for this – he needed to get to Proteus.
But nothing happened.
‘Plop,’ squeaked Gorgy from inside Virgo’s jacket.
‘Barnacle bum!’ growled Poseidon, banging his trident on the floor again. ‘Proteus! Why won’t me trident work?!’
‘Well,’ said Proteus, ‘it didn’t help that you dropped it in the bath yesterday. You must stop playing with your trident in the tub . . .’
‘How do ye know . . . Oh,’ said Poseidon sheepishly.
Zeus nearly doubled over laughing.
‘Y-you-you . . .’ he stuttered, the tears rolling down his face. ‘You, the God of the Sea, have a weapon that . . . that . . . ISN’T WATERPROOF?! PWAHAHAHAHAHA!’
‘It can still give you a right good hiding,’ said Poseidon. ‘See . . .’
And he poked the prongs of his trident straight into Zeus’s backside.
‘Owwwwweeeeeee!’ howled Zeus, clutching his bottom. ‘How dare you! Here – take that!’
Zeus threw another redundant thunderbolt at Poseidon, who retaliated by trying to poke his brother again with his trident.
‘You stop that!’ huffed Zeus.
‘No, you stop it,’ Poseidon snapped back.
‘But mainly,’ Proteus continued, ‘it’s because of Zeus’s new thunderbolts. Your weapons need to be reunited.’
‘Ye what?’ said Poseidon.
‘Beg pardon?’ said Zeus.
‘Your trident and Zeus’s thunderbolts were both crafted from the same labrys, a double-headed axe,’ Proteus explained. ‘They are two halves of the same whole – brothers, if you like. If one isn’t right, the other won’t be either. They need to be brought together to empower each other. They must be reunited with the words:
I give you my power and I accept yours.
Together we’re stronger to win any wars.’
The two ancient Gods sneered at each other.
‘Well, go then,’ said Poseidon, holding out his trident. ‘Ye first.’
‘After you,’ said Zeus, proffering a thunderbolt. ‘I insist.’
‘No.’
‘Fine.’
‘Then I’m not doing it.’
‘Me neither.’
‘This reminds me of the time Daisy Collins and Lily Smith had a disagreement in the Brysmore playground over whose dad would win a fight,’ Virgo mused as they finally made it to the throne.
‘STOP IT!’ shouted Elliot, shocking both Gods into silence. ‘Can’t you see there are more important things?’
‘Welcome, child,’ said Proteus thoughtfully. ‘I knew you’d come. Ask me. I know you want to.’
Elliot’s breath caught in his throat. This man – or whatever he was – could tell him everything he needed to know. He readied himself to ask the question.
‘You’re right,’ said Virgo. ‘There is something I want to know.’
‘Virgo, he didn’t mean—’ Elliot began.
‘Please,’ smiled Proteus. ‘Ask me anything.’
‘Do I get my kardia back?’ said Virgo. ‘Will I ever be immortal again?’
Proteus said nothing.
‘Er, did you hear me?’ said Virgo. ‘I asked you a question.’
‘And if you want the answer, you need to hold on to me,’ said Proteus.
‘I need to what?’ said Virgo.
‘You need to hold on to me,’ said Proteus. ‘That’s the deal. If you want an answer, you need to hold on to me for one minute while I change shape. I have to have some boundaries, or people would be asking me stupid questions all the time. I’m the All-Knowing Shepherd of the Sea. Not Siri.’
‘OK,’ said Virgo, taking Proteus’s extended hand. ‘So that’s all I have to do? I just have to hold on to you?’
‘That’s all,’ said Proteus. ‘But I know you’ll fail.’
‘No, I will not,’ huffed Virgo. ‘I have the heart of a lion. I have the courage of a warrior. I have the . . . Aaaaaaarrrrrgh!’
Virgo screamed as Proteus transformed.
‘A
rgh, argh, argh!’ she said, running squealing into Zeus’s arms. ‘Save me from this hideous beast!’
‘It’s just a spider,’ said Elliot, walking over to Proteus, who turned back into the Shepherd of the Sea with a grin. ‘You’re right, there is something I need to know.’
‘I know,’ said Proteus. ‘You want to know where to find Panacea’s potion.’
Elliot nodded. His heart thundered in his chest.
‘Does it exist?’
‘Let’s find out,’ said Proteus, holding out his hand again.
Elliot took the Sea Shepherd’s hand with his firmest grip.
‘Are you ready?’ smiled Proteus.
Elliot nodded again.
‘Then let’s do this!’ cried Proteus, immediately transforming into a massive eagle, flapping its wings and yanking Elliot’s arm into the air.
‘Hold on, Elliot!’ cried Zeus. ‘You’ve got this.’
Elliot clung desperately on to the eagle’s talon as the bird flapped around with all its might.
‘You’re strong,’ said Proteus. ‘But I’m a slippery customer.’
Elliot resisted every urge in his body to let go as Proteus transformed into a slimy snake, slithering and snaking up Elliot’s wrist. But Elliot held on.
‘Ssssso, jussssst how brave are you?’ said Proteus. ‘Braver than—’
The rest of his sentence was lost to an almighty roar as he turned into a lion. It gnashed its teeth and threatened to tear Elliot’s face with its claws, but every time he wanted to let go, he thought of Mum, cured and back to her old self. The image of Josie’s smile burned into his mind and made his fingers like steel.
Proteus changed again and again, taking a new form every second. One moment he was a huge fish, swiping his powerful tail, the next a tiny frog, trying to leap from Elliot’s hand. As Poseidon counted down the final seconds, Proteus turned from a cat to a wolf to a bear and then . . .
‘Time’s up!’ cried Poseidon, as a steaming bowl of clam chowder was set before him. ‘You did it, landlubber! Ow – that’s hot! Burnt me tongue!’
‘I know,’ sighed Proteus, returning to himself.
‘You knew I’d win,’ grinned Elliot, feeling as if he could take on the world.
‘I know,’ said Proteus again. ‘It’s a curse. And it takes all the fun out of watching Immortals’ Got Talent – watch out for Mike the Magic Minotaur in the next series, by the way. But now I have to truthfully answer any questions you ask me. Starting with the whereabouts of Panacea’s potion.’
