by Maz Evans
‘She be a fierce one all right,’ said Poseidon. ‘She have four eyes and six heads, each with three rows of teeth. Then there be the legs ready to snatch ye up and gobble ye down in the dogs’ heads around her waist. She be very angry at the world.’
‘Because she was treated so unfairly?’ asked Virgo. ‘Turned into a monster by women jealous of her beauty?’
‘Nay,’ said Poseidon. ‘She says it’s a nightmare finding flattering swimwear. Well, it’s no use blowing the breeze here, ye need to pull anchor.’
‘Farewell, brother,’ said Zeus shiftily. ‘See you around.’
‘Ye too,’ said Poseidon absently.
Elliot watched the two brothers try to look as if they didn’t care. He exchanged a knowing look with Virgo. Siblings were so stupid.
The rest of the party swapped their farewells. Hypnos hauled up the mighty anchor before flying up to the crow’s nest. Zeus took his place at the wheel and The Pearl steadily pulled away from the shore and started to bob across the waves.
As Elliot looked out across the ocean, he thought of Josie and how much she would have enjoyed this adventure. They always talked about travelling the world. If only she were here. If only his dad were here. Then they’d all be together. Like a proper family. Like they were supposed to be. If only . . .
‘Plop!’
His thoughts were snatched away by Gorgy landing in his lap.
‘Ewwwww – get off,’ said Elliot, shooing the baby gorgon away. ‘Virgo – control your pet.’
‘He’s not my pet!’ Virgo insisted, allowing Gorgy to sit in her lap so she could pet him. ‘So . . . I have a question. It’s about a friend of mine.’
‘I don’t believe you,’ said Elliot.
‘I’m telling you the truth,’ said Virgo stiffly. ‘It’s not my question.’
‘Not that,’ said Elliot. ‘I don’t believe you have a friend . . .’
‘Shut up,’ Virgo retorted. ‘My friend . . . er, Shirgo . . .’
‘Shirgo?’ Elliot repeated. ‘Seriously?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Virgo. ‘Shirgo is not as experienced as I am in mortal ways and I am seeking some advice on her behalf.’
‘Shirgo sounds like an idiot,’ said Elliot.
‘I – she is not!’ Virgo snapped. ‘But she is a little concerned that she might have made a slightly . . . sub-optimal decision. This is most out of character, as she is usually correct about everything.’
‘I bet she’s not,’ Elliot muttered.
‘I bet she is!’ Virgo huffed. ‘However, in the unlikely event of her being slightly less correct than usual, she was wondering . . . what should she do? You seem something of an expert on bad decisions. Your hairstyle is a case in point.’
Elliot considered her quandary.
‘Can you – your friend – not just go back on the decision?’ he said.
‘Not without losing something she desperately wants,’ whispered Virgo.
‘So, she has to choose between what’s right and what she wants?’
‘Yes!’ cried Virgo. ‘That is a curiously accurate summary of the situation. So what should she do?’
Elliot looked out over the vast blue ocean, thinking of his mum, the potion and the Chaos Stones.
‘You’re asking the wrong guy,’ he said quietly.
‘Siren Rock on the starboard bow!’ Hypnos squealed from the crow’s nest. Positions everyone!’
‘Well, I still don’t believe this nonsense about their enchanted song,’ said Virgo. ‘But I am curious. I am going to lash myself to the mast. I am quite convinced that nothing will happen. But in the unlikely event that I become possessed by their magical music, you are not to release me, no matter how hard I plead. Do you agree?’
‘Sure,’ said Elliot.
‘Even if I beg?’
‘You have my word.’
‘And here – just to be on the safe side, fill your ears with this.’ Virgo handed Elliot some mush from her bag.
‘What is it?’
‘My in-flight meal from Don’tcAIR. I hoped it would come in handy. Put it in your ears, lest you too are enchanted by the Sirens.’
‘Gross.’
Virgo handed him a length of rope. ‘Make sure the knots are good and tight,’ she said as Elliot tied her and Gorgy to the mast. ‘I don’t want to escape in the throes of enchantment. And no matter what I say, no matter how fervently I implore, you are not to release me. Do you understand?’
‘Trust me,’ grinned Elliot. ‘This time you’ve come to the right guy.’
Ahead of them was a series of jagged rocks where the ageing carcasses of wrecked ships told Elliot that this was where the Sirens did their worst. The rocks were a mess – in addition to the shipwrecks, they were covered in broken bottles, discarded takeaway cartons and even a TV set that looked as though it had been tossed into the sea below. Hypnos fluttered over to fetch a single piece of paper stuck to the largest rock, and read it aloud to the group:
‘Due to musical differences and several pending murder charges, the Sirens have decided to go their separate ways. They are all working on new solo material and are planning a comeback tour in ten years’ time, or whenever they get parole. They’d like to thank all their fans for their support over the years, even if it led directly to their cruel and violent death.’
‘You see!’ said Virgo triumphantly. ‘I knew it was a load of nonsense. Now let me down.’
‘Sorry?’ shouted Elliot, pointing to his mushfilled ears. ‘Can’t hear you!’
‘Don’t be absurd,’ said Virgo. ‘Untie me at once!’
‘No can do,’ said Elliot, removing the mush. ‘Your orders . . .’
‘But I didn’t hear anything!’ said Virgo.
‘How can I believe you?’ said Elliot, a wicked gleam in his eyes. ‘You’d say anything in the throes of enchantment.’
‘But I’m not in the throes of enchantment!’ cried an exasperated Virgo.
‘Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?’ said Elliot, shaking his head.
‘Elliot Hooper, let me down from this mast this instant or I’ll . . . I’ll . . . I’ll . . .’
‘Wow – they really got to you, didn’t they?’ sighed Elliot. ‘Oh, well, I’m sure it’ll wear off in an hour or two. I’ll get you down then. Laters.’
‘Elliot!’ cried Virgo, as Zeus winked at the retreating boy. ‘Elliot! ELLIOT!’
‘Bad plop man!’ growled Gorgy after him.
‘Nicely done,’ grinned Hypnos, fluttering down to join Elliot at the ship’s prow. ‘Always good to be the winner.’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ said Elliot.
‘But you will,’ whispered Hypnos. ‘Once you have all the Chaos Stones, no one will be able to come near you. Only you can choose the winners.’
‘At the moment I don’t have any of them,’ said Elliot. ‘And I don’t care about winning. I just want my mum back.’
‘And all power to you,’ said Hypnos. ‘But you can have both. Remember that.’
An almighty screech shattered the peaceful seascape.
‘Troubled waters up ahead!’ Zeus bellowed from the wheel. ‘Look lively.’
Elliot and Hypnos sprang to their feet. The ship was approaching a narrow channel, with cliffs on both sides. To the right, the sea flowed smoothly past the rocks and back out into open water. But on the left . . .
‘I’M TELLING YOU, NO AMOUNT OF INNER BEAUTY IS GOING TO HELP ME WHEN I’M TRYING TO BUY A BIKINI!’ screeched the creature. ‘SO SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE!’
Elliot stood rooted to the spot as he took in the sight before him. Perched in a crevice on the clifftop was a . . . Not for the first time, he didn’t know what to call it. The creature had six heads, each with a triple row of teeth, and drooling dog heads around her waist. Twelve clawed feet stuck out from her six legs. Swimwear, Elliot thought, was the least of her problems.
‘Scylla,’ whispered Hypnos. ‘I heard she had a life coach. Looks like it’s going well.’
/> ‘OK, so, yah – loving your emotion, good to see you letting all your rage out, yah,’ said a bespectacled gnome holding a notebook. ‘Have you found your meditation CD helpful?’
‘HELPFUL?!’ screeched another of Scylla’s heads. ‘SURE – WHEN I THROW THE USELESS BIT OF RUBBISH AT SOMEONE’S HEAD.’
And with a scream she hurled the offending CD across the strait, hitting Hypnos square on the head.
‘Ow!’ he squealed. He caught the CD and looked at the front cover. ‘Taming the Beast Within. There’s Thanatos’s Christmas present sorted . . .’
‘So, the thing is, ya,’ the gnome continued, ‘if you’re going to conquer this anger, you really need to listen to the voice within. Listen. Tell me.’
‘YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?’ Scylla screamed.
‘Sure. Yah,’ said the gnome, stroking his beard. ‘What’s it saying?’
‘LUNCHTIME!’ screamed Scylla. She grabbed the gnome with one of her clawed feet and dangled him over one of her mouths, which obligingly opened its gaping jaws.
‘So, yah, we talked about this,’ said the gnome. ‘It’s, like, super-important you don’t internalize your anger.’
‘INTERNALIZE THIS!’ Scylla yelled and dropped the gnome whole down one of her throats.
‘I’m telling you, yah,’ said the gnome from inside her belly. ‘You really need to let it all—’
‘BUUUUURRRRRPPPP!’ Scylla erupted with a satisfied grin. ‘You know, he’s right. I feel so much better. He’s been my best – and tastiest – life coach yet. Whaddya want?!’
‘Oh . . . don’t mind us, just passing through,’ said Zeus, steering a course as far away from Scylla’s long necks as he could.
‘Come closer,’ said Scylla, beckoning them with a clawed finger.
‘Er, no, thanks,’ said Zeus, hastily letting the sail out to speed their journey past the ferocious monster.
‘I’m telling you,’ cooed Scylla. ‘It’s for your own good . . .’
‘Or for your own pudding,’ mumbled Zeus. ‘Hang on tight everyone, we’re nearly—’
The ship came to a shuddering halt.
‘What are you doing?’ hissed Elliot at Zeus. ‘Get us out of here.’
‘No can do,’ Zeus whispered back. ‘We’re stuck.’
‘HEE HEE HEE!’ Scylla cackled. ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you . . .’
‘What’s happening?’ Virgo cried. The sea around them parted and turned into a massive pair of jaws.
‘Oh, Lordy,’ said Zeus as the ship slowly started to turn.
‘Charybdis!’ said Hypnos, taking flight and grabbing Elliot. ‘Come on, you, we’re getting out of here.’
Elliot felt the ship tip as the sea around them was sucked into the jaws.
‘Help!’ cried Virgo, struggling against her bonds at the mast. ‘I’m stuck!’
‘What about them?’ said Elliot, pointing at Zeus and Virgo.
‘Winners, remember?’ said Hypnos, about to take flight. ‘Let’s go.’
Elliot hesitated. Hypnos could fly him to safety – if he was sucked down to a watery grave, he couldn’t save Mum.
But how could he live with himself if he abandoned his friends?
He wrestled free from Hypnos’s grasp and ran to Virgo. His fingers worked at the knots he cursed himself for tying so tightly.
‘Elliot – please, hurry!’ begged Virgo.
‘I . . . can’t . . . hold . . . her . . . much . . . longer,’ grimaced Zeus, straining at the wheel.
Hypnos flew to help him steady the ship. Water started to slosh over the sides of the galleon, the weight of it pulling the ship further down into the deep.
‘Hurry!’ cried Virgo amid the lashing waves.
‘I’m trying!’ Elliot shouted, but the knots were held fast by the wet rope. He looked helplessly at Virgo. She was trapped.
Suddenly, he felt a small slimy hand on his.
‘Plop,’ said Gorgy softly.
At once, the little snakes around his head began to hiss and wriggle, and the little gorgon stared at the rope, which began to shudder under his gaze. Elliot saw the tight knots begin to melt in front of his eyes.
‘It’s working!’ said Elliot. ‘Go on, Gorgy!’
Shaking under the strain, the gorgon kept his eyes fixed on the rope and, with a final grunt, the whole length dissolved. Virgo and Gorgy were free.
‘You made sand!’ said Virgo, holding her exhausted pet to her. ‘Well done, Gorgy!’
‘We’ve got to get out of here!’ cried Hypnos. The wall of water was teetering above them, about to come crashing down on them at any moment.
‘Come on,’ shouted Elliot, grabbing Virgo’s hand.
‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘For coming back.’
‘You’re welcome,’ said Elliot, looking at the water pouring into the galleon. ‘Hypnos – time to go!’
‘I can’t carry all of you!’ shouted the Daemon. ‘Elliot – come on!’
Elliot looked frantically around for anything that might help them. How were they all to escape?
‘PLLLLOOOOOPPPPPP!’ cried Gorgy, bounding across the deck to rescue the writhing sack Poseidon had given them. He grabbed it in his mouth and bounded back, dropping the sack at Elliot’s feet like a happy puppy.
‘What is it doing?’ cried Zeus.
‘The North Wind!’ Elliot shouted. ‘It can blow us free!’
‘But Poseidon said—’ Virgo cried.
‘Who cares what Poseidon said!’ yelled Elliot. ‘What choice do we have? Brace yourselves . . .’
‘Elliot, be careful!’ Zeus shouted. ‘We have no idea how powerful it—’
But Elliot wasn’t listening. With his free hand he pulled at the string holding the sack together. The water crashing around them was determined to wrestle it from his hand, but he was determined too. With an almighty yank, he pulled off the string – and was immediately blasted back across the deck as a vertical tunnel of air roared out of the open sack.
‘What was that?’ Virgo cried, clinging on to Gorgy.
‘I AM BOREAS!’ bellowed the North Wind. The air began to take a vaporous, white form – a winged old man with shaggy hair and beard, holding a conch shell. Beneath his billowing cloak were snakes where his feet should have been. ‘AND I AM NO MAN’S PRISONER!’
‘Got that,’ shouted Hypnos, trying to fly away from the North Wind’s fury. But it was no use. Sucking in the very air around him, Boreas blew with all his might, inflating the white sails of The Pearl so that it began to rise from the whirlpool.
‘He’s not strong enough!’ Virgo shouted. ‘Charybdis is pulling us down.’
‘NOT STRONG ENOUGH!’ screamed Boreas. ‘WE’LL SEE WHO’S STRONG ENOUGH!’
With another great gasp, he blew the ship again with all his might.
‘It’s . . . it’s working!’ said Elliot. ‘Look – the ship’s pulling away!’
They looked over the prow of the ship. With the wind’s power fuelling the sails, the ship was slowly climbing the wall of water.
‘Come on!’ Elliot willed the wind. ‘Just a little bit . . .’
The ship continued to rise slowly, slowly, slowly . . . until, with an almighty pop, it was free of the whirlpool’s grasp.
‘Wow – thanks!’ said Elliot, as the ship pulled away into clear waters. ‘Well, we’ll just be on our—’
‘YOU DARE TO KEEP ME PRISONER!’ shouted the wind. ‘YOU DARE TO ENSLAVE THE NORTH WIND! YOU ARE NOTHING!’
‘I don’t have a good feeling about this,’ said Virgo, grabbing the mast.
And for once Elliot had to admit she was right. Taking a gigantic breath, the North Wind blew the sails so hard that the ship peeled away from the ocean’s surface and took off, up into the bright sky, flying far, far away towards who knew where.
19. Deal with the Devil
Patricia Porshley-Plum could almost taste victory on her lips. One more move and both Home Farm and revenge on the Hooper boy would be hers. At last.
It had been a long and tiring day, but Patricia didn’t want to wait. She’d waited quite long enough already. Having come directly from the airport, she approached the infernal fence around Home Farm with caution, but was surprised to find the gate wide open. She couldn’t wait to get rid of that fence. Dynamite would do nicely.
She made her way unevenly up the path and knocked on the front door. She drew a steely breath. This was war.
It had been a decade since she’d last seen David Hooper – and good riddance to bad rubbish. But she was taken aback when he opened the door. He’d not changed a jot since the day he was carted off to prison. It was as if he hadn’t aged a day in ten years.
‘Hello, David,’ she said curtly. ‘I need to talk to you.’
‘Of course,’ David smiled back. ‘But to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?’
Patricia was miffed. She also hadn’t changed a jot in ten years – if anything, she was younger and thinner than she was last time they’d seen one another. Surely he remembered her?
‘You know perfectly well who I am,’ she said. ‘And I’m here to discuss this house. I want it.’
‘Ah – Patricia,’ said David with a smile. ‘Please come in. I was hoping you might drop by.’
He stood aside to allow her past. Patricia didn’t take her eyes off him for a second. What was his agenda?
They walked through to the kitchen.
‘Where are all the relatives?’ she asked. ‘I’ve got to know them rather well over the past few months.’
‘Oh, I sent them out grocery shopping,’ said David. ‘You can have too much of a good thing.’
‘Indeed,’ said Patricia, perturbed by his easy smile as he leant against the door. She looked forward to wiping it from his face.
‘Well, now – I’ll keep this brief for both our sakes,’ she said. ‘As you will recall, my late husband took care of all your family’s legal affairs. When you were . . . away, Josie approached him and requested a divorce.’
‘Oh, dear,’ said David, the smile still in place.
‘Furthermore,’ said Patricia, feeling unusually unsure of herself, ‘she requested that in the event of her incapacity, I be named Elliot’s legal guardian, a position I now claim.’
