Instead of acknowledging her, however, he simply pulled another bud from his handful. This one was pink. “Instead of allowing it all to flow through you at once,” he said, placing the new rose in her hands, “try only to let a portion leak out. Imagine...” he paused, then his face lit up. “Imagine that your gift is like rain. You can make it pour, sprinkle, or mist. Just don’t douse the flower with everything all at once. Now,” he pointed down at the rose in her hands, “let it go, but only let it mist.”
Katy stared at him for a minute before shaking her head. He had no idea how hard it was. How many times had she tried to pull back with her gift? Still, she would try if it would appease him. So she closed her eyes again and imagined letting the magic flow, but pulling back at the last minute.
When she opened up again, the flower wasn’t blackened like the last time. But it was wilted beyond recognition.
“I told you—”
“No, you’ve just not tried enough.”
“I’ve been trying my entire life!” Katy glared at him.
“And so have I! But I’ve had teachers, and you haven’t!” He reached out and grabbed her hands with his. They were surprisingly comfortable as his green eyes searched hers. “You don’t think influencing the weather can be dangerous? How many lightning strikes does it take to kill someone or set a building on fire? Or what about blowing someone’s fences over and having the fence posts accidentally impale cattle?” Eyes burning, he took a step closer. “This is who we are! You can run, and you can hide your abilities as much as possible, but until you accept what you are and what you can do, you will never find your purpose in this world!” His voice dropped to a whisper. “You’ll never find happiness as long as you despise what you were made to be.”
Katy’s first instinct was to shake his hands off and run. But his grip was firm, and his fierce gaze held her in place. At first, annoyance kept her from agreeing. Who was this man, thinking he could waltz into her life and tell her how to live?
But then, who was she to think she knew better than someone who had just created a hundred rainbows?
She huffed. “Very well.”
“Good. Now close your eyes.”
Katy obeyed. When she did, he slowly led her forward until he placed her hands against what felt like the trunk of a tree.
“What am I supposed to be doing?” she asked.
“I’ve never seen a gift like yours before. But I’ve never met an autumn fairy either. I wonder, though, if you might be able to speed up life without bringing it all the way to its end.”
“I’ve tried that. It didn’t work.”
“I’ve met my share of fairies while we were over on the other isles, and your power is stronger than most. You’ll need to learn how to squeeze it to let out only little bits at a time.” He paused. “Not to recommend myself too much, but imagine you have my gift. I can create a torrential downpour, or I can create a gentle spring rain. It took years of practice, though, before I could successfully differentiate between the two.”
“What if I accidentally kill your tree?”
He laughed again, harder this time. “I’ve actually wanted to chop this tree down for a while. Consider my actions a lazy man’s work.”
For some reason, Katy found herself smiling, too, and she didn’t feel so afraid. It was different knowing, even being encouraged to make a mistake. The death grip she’d kept on her power since she was eight began to loosen itself from her heart.
“Now,” he said softly, “let it rain.”
Katy pictured rain in her head. She imagined letting out a soft little rainstorm, the kind that made one think of music. She pictured little droplets falling gently from her fingers and watering the tree beneath them.
But nothing happened.
“I don’t feel anything.” Katy tried not to sound as heartbroken as she felt. Here she was with another creature like her, and for the first time in her life, she was being told to use her powers. And she couldn’t even seem to do that right.
When he spoke, however, his voice was just as patient. “Perhaps I’m not going about this the right way.”
Katy opened her eyes so she could roll them. “It’s probably just my fault.”
“No, I don’t think so. I’m simply using the technique I was taught, but...” His face lit up. “When we were on the other isles, my brother and I were taught by another fairy who had the same gift that we do. That probably won’t work for you because you have another gift!” He thought for a moment. “What does it feel like when your power moves through you?”
Katy flexed her fingers. “A breeze, I suppose? No, that’s not right.” She closed her eyes again. “A shadow...like one on a sundial. Like…time.”
“Interesting.” He paused. “What does the shadow do?”
“It moves. Or rather, it circles around the sundial.” She kept her eyes closed. Doubt still clouded her confidence, but she continued to search, reaching out until she found the delicate tendrils of power within. It was strange, trying to find within her what she’d been trying to push away for a lifetime.
And for the first time in her life, instead of shoving them away, she beckoned to them. It was a moment before they followed, but when they did, she gasped. It was as if they’d been waiting for her all along.
“If I stretch it, the shadow moves more slowly. Then if I want it to go faster, I push it around—”
“Katrin! Katrin, open your eyes!”
Katy opened her eyes to find him staring at the tree, his face tilted up and his mouth open. When she turned to see what he was looking at, she found herself gaping as well.
The tree, which had been full of green waxy leaves, now glowed a brilliant shade of yellow. There was not a black or dead spot to be seen.
“You did it!” He let out a whoop as he jumped in the air.
Katy looked at him in amazement before looking back up at the tree. She could feel the smile on her face, and yet, she couldn’t believe it was there. “I…I didn’t kill it.”
He grabbed her hands and pulled her around in a circle, and Katy found herself laughing right along with him. “All this time,” he said as he let go to stare back up at the tree, “and all you needed was ten minutes of guidance. See what you’re capable of?”
“Do you think…do you think there’s hope for my manifestation yet?”
“Between the two of us, I don’t see why not!”
Katy gazed back up into the blinding yellow of the leaves. Maybe, just maybe, Atharo hadn’t given her such a horrid gift after all. Maybe, she would never have to hurt anyone ever again.
The days passed quickly after her initial taste of victory. Each morning was spent practicing with Aedan, and each afternoon was one of quiet solace when Aedan left to speak with his brother, who apparently preferred the solitude of the forest to time with them, eating and leaving before Katy arose each morning, and returning only after she had gone to bed.
Not that Katy minded. If she was honest, Aedan’s descriptions of Tearlach frightened her. Any creature that could wield such storms as Katy heard in the distance seemed mythical even to her. So she was quite content, she decided, to simply see Aedan.
And for the first time in a long time, Katy no longer dreaded the passing of time. For though her birthday drew nearer, her ability to control her powers was growing by the day. Never had Katy considered that she might find using her power so enjoyable. But a week after her arrival, that’s exactly where she was.
“You look extra chipper this morning,” Aedan said when he walked in to find Katy chopping strawberries in the kitchen. “Up early, too!”
“Well,” Katy smiled, not looking up from her knife, “I thought it was time I began doing some work around here. You’ve spent a week waiting on me hand and foot, and I’m not used to sitting idle. If you’ll show me where your porridge is, I’ll whip some up and we’ll have breakfast in no time.”
Aedan seated himself and peeked at her with a guilty grin, his green eyes apo
logetic. “I’m afraid we have none.”
“What about oats?”
He shook his head.
Katy frowned down at the fruit in confusion. “Then what have you been feeding me for the last week?”
His cheeks reddened. “Aside from the fruits and vegetables?”
She quirked an eyebrow.
“If you must know, stolen goods.”
“What?”
He sighed pathetically. “There’s an old lord that lives just outside the forest. I’m afraid I might have been...borrowing his early meals this week.”
Katy stared at him blankly. “How do you borrow someone’s breakfast?”
Despite his blush, he smiled. “The same way my brother and I exchange notes and letters.”
When she didn’t respond, he flicked his fingers, and a long breeze blew through the open window. It gently swirled until it had gathered a strawberry up off her tray and carried it to his open hand. “You wouldn’t have any idea,” he grinned, “how hard it is to get eggs and sausage to stay on a plate.”
Katy stared at him, not sure whether she should laugh or scold. Finally, she went back to chopping, trying to smother her smile so as not to encourage him. “Well, from now on, I will be making breakfast. No more—”
“Do you mean that?”
“Mean what?”
“That you’re staying?”
Katy’s knife paused once more, but this time, she couldn’t get herself to look up into his green eyes. “For the time being, I mean,” she finally said quietly.
“Hold on, now.” He got off the chair and came to stand next to her. She could feel the power thrumming through him as strongly as if they were touching. “Why wouldn’t you stay?”
Katy chopped harder, suddenly wishing she’d picked more berries. “I...I hardly know you. I mean, you’ve been very kind. More than kind. But,” she gathered her courage and finally put the knife down, “I hardly know you.”
“But surely you’re not planning on returning to the castle! They tried to kill you!”
“One man tried to kill me,” Katy said, dumping the berries in the bowls. “The king promised Peter I would live until my birthday. Killing me now will accomplish nothing. If I find Peter—”
“Forgive me for being so candid,” his voice was sharper than Katy had ever heard it, “but I think this…this race toward self-destruction goes beyond a mere promise.” He put his hands behind his back. When she said nothing, he took a small step forward. “You say you hardly know me. But really, how well do you know the prince?”
“I grew up with—”
He put his hands up. “I know you did. But he was gone for eight years. Who did he become while he was away.”
Katy felt her throat grow tight. “Everything I knew he could be.”
Aedan looked as though he wanted to argue, but after a moment, he closed his mouth and took a deep breath. “I’m not questioning his intentions. I’m asking whether it’s really possible for you to see eye-to-eye anymore.” He paused. “Did you tell him about the whistle?”
Katy found that this question bothered her more than she cared to admit. So she ignored it. “What could you know of his intentions?” she asked instead, crossing her arms to cover the sudden hollowness in her chest.
“And when did he reveal to you his secret?”
“That he was prince? He wasn’t allowed—”
“Not that one.” His eyes narrowed. “The one he didn’t show you at the waterfall.”
Katy’s heart twisted a little. She’d managed to forget about that.
He nodded once. “Secrets whispered into the wind are much easier to retrieve than breakfast plates,” he muttered. “But that doesn’t matter. As much as I may have resented that it was he who befriended you, rather than one of your own kind, I always had at least a respect for your prince. He protected you when others would do you harm.”
Aedan rubbed the back of his neck and frowned. “But after all you’ve learned in the past few days, surely even you can see you need to be with your own people! People who appreciate you for who you are and what you can do!” He pressed his hand against her face.
Katy was too surprised by his outburst to shake it off. “To do what?”
“Anything we want! We could go to the other isles! We could get married and live wherever we wanted without being hunted. Whenever you were ready,” he blushed a little, “we could try to start a family.”
“Could...” Katy swallowed. “Could we come back?”
His voice was soft. “I’m afraid not. One of the orders of the Higher and Lower Chancels is that no one set foot on this isle. When I asked to return to the Third Isle, they forbade it. I broke a lot of rules coming back here already.”
Katy wanted to respond, but her voice threatened to break if she did.
“I know I’m nothing compared to Peter,” he whispered. “Not yet, at least. I’ve watched you my entire life, and you’ve only just met me.” His hand tightened slightly on hers, and Katy found herself fighting the strange urge to cry.
“You don’t know him the way I do!” She wished desperately that she could block out his words and forget they’d ever been said.
“Very well. Let’s suppose he does see you for all you are and changes his mind. What if he chooses to marry you over that spoiled noble, what then?” He continued. “Do you think the kingdom will accept you with open arms? Will they see your children as legitimate heirs, considering the isle’s current laws concerning creatures such as ourselves? What—”
“Stop!” she shouted, covering her ears with her hands and shaking his hands off. “Just stop!”
“But you must face the—”
“Peter has never broken a promise to me before, and I don’t intend to force him into doing so now!”
“Wait.” Aedan fell back a step. “What do you mean break a promise?”
“I thought you heard everything on the wind.”
“Just because I can doesn’t mean I do. Now what do you mean about this promise?”
“I mean,” Katy said, glaring at him as she picked up the chopping knife again, “that when we were children, he promised to save me from the power that was isolating me more every day. And that’s exactly what he’s doing now!” She carried the bowls of berries to the table. By the time she returned and Aedan still hadn’t said anything, she finally looked up. But to her surprise, he wasn’t looking at her anymore. Instead, he was staring absently out the window.
“This changes everything,” he whispered.
Katy felt a twinge of unease. “What do you mean?”
He shook his head. “I need to speak with my brother.” Grabbing his cloak from the chair where he’d laid it, he stumbled toward the door.
As soon as he was gone, Katy realized she was more confused than ever. After cleaning up the kitchen, she usually would have gone out for magic practice, but today she had no desire to stand under Aedan’s tutelage and listen to his directions. So instead, she decided to take a walk.
She ran up to her tower to change into her boots, and while she was there, she looked out the window to see where she might go. She had half a mind to take off walking and not return, simply to spite Aedan for what he’d said that morning. Somehow, he had managed to take all of her confusion and angst and triple them in one conversation, stirring up the turmoil she had managed to suppress in her short, happy week after her rescue.
And what on earth had he meant about Peter’s promise changing everything?
A chilly wind whipped at her hair as she leaned over the ledge of her chamber balcony and tried to peer around the edge of the tower. To the north lay forest as far as the eye could see, lining the coast in a layer so thick the distant moor was nearly invisible. To her west lay the same, trees lining the coast and every bit as thick as that along the eastern coast. Behind her, according to her host, lay the ocean.
Visiting the ocean was out of the question, as she could neither row a boat nor swim. And though it was t
empting to go to the castle just to prove Aedan wrong, Katy decided against that as well. Thoughtlessly, her eyes returned to the west. Peter was somewhere out there. She was sure of it. Where was—
A ripple caught her attention. It was a moment, though, before she could see what was so unusual that had caught her eye at all. Only when another gust of wind rustled the leaves of the canopy, just above the western outer wall, was she able to place it. Then she gasped.
A small cloud was forming over a spot not far off in the brown sea of dead trees to the west. It was nearly invisible at first, just wisps of white. But the longer she stared, the more she realized the white was being pulled from the brown foliage below to feed the cloud at the top.
After several minutes, the cloud had grown dark and heavy. Instead of bursting on the thirsty ground below, however, it floated north to the green inner rim of the forest that bordered the moor. Once it was at the forest’s edge, it stopped moving and gave birth to its downpour.
Katy grabbed her cloak and darted down the cracked steps to the garden door. She wasn’t sure where Aeden had gone, but she was sure she didn’t want him to see her now. He was hiding something, and whether his secret was benign or not, Katy was going to find out what it was.
43
Muddled
In all her times spent at the upper tower windows, Katy had managed to count four main gates in the wall that guarded the property’s boundaries. Now, as she edged out of the garden toward the west gate, she wondered why they were never closed. Most likely, she’d reasoned, it was because no one would dare venture far enough into the forest to risk even seeing the bastion occupied by the powerful brothers, save the knights. And she knew from what Peter had told her that even the knights had never been this far.
Either way, she was glad now that the rusty metal gates with their sharp barbs and metal points were always open. The crumbling walls that surrounded the ancient fortress were high, at least thirty feet, and she never would have been able to scale them.
The Autumn Fairy Page 31
