The woman pointed a manicured finger toward the window. “Look at him,” she said. “He’s trying to steal Santa’s cookies.”
The toddler, Andre presumably, had a frown on his pudgy puce-colored face. “Bad monkey,” he said. “No cookies.”
“You don’t think he should take the cookies?” the mother asked, laughing as the toddler shook his head.
“Someone’s taken the naughty list concept to heart,” James caught himself saying.
“Let’s hope he feels that way when he’s ten,” she replied. “You ready to see the next window, Dre?”
Watching the trio walk away, a pang struck James in the midsection as he realized Dre and his little sister wouldn’t see the displays next year. Oh, well, at their age, they wouldn’t even realize the loss. Most kids wouldn’t. It was just James holding on to the memory.
Did his brother ever think about the window displays? Last time he saw Justin... When was the last time he’d seen him? The boat races maybe? Jackson had said something about his brother going to business school out west somewhere. James didn’t even know what college his brother had attended. Or where he did his undergrad, for that matter. Like mother, like son, Justin had had little to do with them once he left. He’d apparently built quite a nice Hammond-free life and wasn’t looking back.
James needed to do the same. It helped that at least Jackson had confessed he wasn’t completely unwanted.
Just unwanted by his mother.
And by Noelle. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another flash of red and white, causing the frustration to rise anew.
Four more weeks. Come January first, Christmas would be done, they would pack away the decorations, and he would be rid of any and all reminders of Fryberg. No more thoughts of blue eyes or snow-dotted lashes.
In the meantime, James had a business to run. The numbers at their Cape Cod store were especially troublesome and needed to be addressed.
Feeling his control return, he marched into the store.
His renewed focus lasted until he reached the top floor. There, he barely managed to round the corner to his office when a red-and-white cap stopped him in his tracks.
So much for blaming his imagination.
Noelle rose from her seat. “I need to talk with you,” she said.
CHAPTER TWELVE
SHE LOOKED...BEAUTIFUL. The image of her lying in his arms flashed before him, and his body moved to take her in his arms. Catching himself, James clasped his hands behind his back.
“If you’re here about that blasted elk there’s nothing more to talk about,” he said.
“I’m not here about Fryer,” she said.
“Good. Then we have even less to talk about. If you’ll excuse me...”
He tried to brush past her and head into his office, but she stepped in front of him. A five-foot-two-inch roadblock. “I read about you canceling the window displays.”
“And let me guess, you’re worried how the new direction will affect your Christmas Castle.” Why else would she fly halfway across the country instead of emailing? All roads led to Fryberg, didn’t they?
“You could have saved yourself the airfare. Our plans for the castle haven’t changed. Your family business will live to bring another year of Christmas cheer.”
Again, he moved to his office and again, she blocked his path. “I’m not here about the castle either.”
“Then why are you here?” he asked. It was taking all his effort to keep his voice crisp and businesslike. What he wanted was to growl through clenched teeth.
“Because I owe you an apology.”
Seriously? James ignored how her answer made his heart give a little jump. Not again, he reminded himself. No more being fooled into believing emotions existed when they didn’t.
“You wasted your airfare. I told you on the phone, the matter has already been forgotten.”
This time, he managed to pass her and reach his office door.
“I know what you’re doing.” Noelle’s voice rang through the waiting area.
Don’t take the bait. Don’t turn around.
“Is that so?” he replied, turning. “And what is that, exactly?”
“You’re trying to kill Christmas.”
Someone dropped a stapler. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his administrative assistant picking up several sheets of paper from the floor.
“You’re being ridiculous.” He couldn’t kill Christmas if he tried. Damn holiday insisted on existing whether he wanted it to or not.
“Am I? I know what those displays meant to you. How much you loved them...”
His assistant dropped her stapler again.
He closed his eyes. “Noelle, this is neither the time nor the place for us to have this conversation.”
“Fine,” she replied. “When and where would you like to have it?”
“How about nowhere and never?”
“Nice try, but I flew across five states to talk to you so I can say what I have to say now or I can say it later, but I’m not leaving until I speak my piece.”
He expected her to fold her arms after her speech, but instead, she looked up at him through her lashes, and added, “Please?” Her plea totally threw him a curveball. No way he could resist those cornflower eyes.
“Fine. We’ll talk.” Opening his office door, he motioned for her to step in first. “But take off that hat.” No way was he rehashing Saturday night with her looking adorable.
Unfortunately, she looked more adorable with tousled hat hair. He went back to clasping his hands to keep from combing his fingers through it.
Nodding to one of the chairs, he walked around to the other side of his desk and sat down figuring a three-foot cherrywood barrier would keep him from doing something stupid.
“Okay, you’ve got the floor,” he said. “What was so important that you had to fly all the way to Boston to say?”
“Aren’t you going to take off your coat?”
“No. I’m cold.” Although that status was rapidly changing, thanks to his heart rate. It had started racing the second he saw her. “Now, what is it you wanted?”
“Why are you closing down the window displays?”
“Because they’re a financial drain on the company.”
“Funny how you didn’t think so before,” she replied coming toward the desk.
“Well, I saw them with a new perspective. I realized we were spending a lot of money trying to sell a concept that no longer resonated.” Was she coming around to his side of the desk? “My decision shouldn’t be a surprise,” he said. “My feelings about this kind of kitschy Christmas marketing were hardly a secret.”
She stopped at the desk corner. “You didn’t think them so kitschy on Saturday night when you told me about the polar bear.”
“That’s because I was trying to charm you into bed. And it worked. At least for a little while,” he added. If she was going to stand so close, he was going to wield sarcasm.
God, but he wished she’d back away. It was easier to be furious with her when he couldn’t smell orange blossoms.
“It was wrong of me to run out like that,” she said. “It was stupid and childish.”
The earnestness in her eyes left him aching. With his hands gripping the chair arm, he pushed himself closer to the desk. “Congratulations. We agree.”
He didn’t have to look to know his words hit their mark. “I don’t suppose you’d let me explain,” she said.
“Would it make any difference?”
“Maybe. No. I don’t know.”
“Thank you for summarizing everything so clearly.” He didn’t want to hear any more. Didn’t want her orange blossom scent interfering with his anger. “I think you should go,” he told her.
* *
*
Noelle twisted her hat in her hands. This wasn’t going at all the way she’d envisioned. Seeing him again reminded her how intimidating a presence he could have when he wanted. It also reminded her how much vulnerability there was beneath the surface. Icy as he sounded, she could see the flashes of pain in his eyes. She wanted to hug him and tell him how amazingly special he was. Only he wouldn’t believe her. Not until she cleared the air.
Which was why she stood her ground. She came to explain and make amends for hurting him, and she would.
“I freaked out,” she told him. “Saturday was...it felt like a fairy tale with me as Cinderella. You had me feeling all these emotions and suddenly they were too much. I felt scared and guilty and so many things. I needed to get some air.”
“All the way back in Michigan? What, New York air not good enough?”
She deserved that. “At first, I only meant to stand outside for a little bit, maybe get a cup of coffee. But then there was this homeless man and these women and... It doesn’t matter. Bottom line is, I got scared and ran home where I knew I’d be safe.”
“I would have thought you’d find me safe, considering.”
“You were. You made me feel incredibly safe. That was part of what freaked me out.”
“How reassuring,” James replied.
Yeah, listening to what she was saying, Noelle wouldn’t buy it either. “I made a mistake,” she said.
“No kidding.” He shoved the chair away from his desk, causing her to jump. “I told you things I’ve never shared with anyone,” he said, as he stood up. “I opened up to you—and you were the one who pushed me.”
Shame at her behavior welled up inside her. “I know,” she replied.
“You made me think...” The rest of his sentence died when he ran his hand over his face. “I should have known. When I saw that mantel full of photos, I should have known I couldn’t compete with Kevin.”
“What?” No, he had it all wrong. “That’s not true.”
“Noelle, listen to yourself. Thirty seconds ago, you said you felt guilty.”
“Yes, but not because of my feelings for Kevin. I felt guilty because I realized Kevin couldn’t measure up to you.”
Confusion marked his features. “What?”
Noelle took a deep breath. After all his openness, he deserved to know her deepest secret. “Kevin was a special person,” she said. “Every girl in school wanted to date him, so I couldn’t believe how lucky I was that he wanted to be with me. Being Kevin Fryberg’s girl was the best thing that ever happened to me. Being part of the Frybergs was the biggest dream come true.”
“So you’ve told me,” James replied.
“But what I didn’t tell you was that Kevin was...he was like the big, wonderful brother I never had.”
The confusion deepened. “I don’t understand.”
“That’s the reason I felt so guilty,” Noelle said, moving to look out the window herself. “I loved Kevin. I loved our life together, especially when his parents were around. But we never had that phase where we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and I just figured that was because we’d been together for so long. It wasn’t until shortly after the wedding that I realized I didn’t love him the way a wife should. But by that time, we were committed.”
Her fingers ran along the blinds lining the window. “And I had the family I’d always wanted. If he and I ended... So I stuck it out, figuring I’d eventually fall more in love with him. Then Kevin deployed.”
And then he died, leaving her the widow of the town hero and forced to keep pretending lest she hurt her surrogate family. She turned so she could study James with her damp gaze. “I didn’t know,” she whispered.
“Know what?”
“What it felt like to be truly attracted to someone. To have this continual ache in the pit of your stomach because you desperately want them to touch you. Until this past weekend. You made me feel out of control and off balance and it scared the hell out of me.”
“You could have told me,” he said. “I would have understood.”
“How was I supposed to tell you I could see myself falling for you, when it was those feelings that terrified me?” she replied. “Don’t you get it? I was afraid my feelings would blow up in my face and cost me the only family I’ve ever known.”
She waited, watched, while her confession settled over him. After a moment, he ran his hand over his face again and sighed. “If it frightened you, why are you telling me now?”
“Because you deserved to know,” she replied. “And because I’ve realized that family isn’t an either-or proposition. Nor is it about being related. It’s about love, pure and simple. So long as you have love, you have family.”
Risking his rejection, she walked toward him. When she got close enough, she took his hand. “And maybe all that greeting card stuff you despise is a myth, but Christmas can still be wonderful if you’re with someone special. Please don’t close off the part of you that believes that too.”
But James only looked down at their hands. Noelle could take a hint. Foolish of her to think an apology would change much. At least she’d tried. “Anyway, that’s what I came to tell you. That you’re on the lovable side of the bell curve, and that I wish I hadn’t messed up, because there’s nothing I would like more than to have been your someone special this Christmas.”
“Are you still scared?”
A spark lit in her heart. There was hope in his voice. He was trying to fight it, but it was there. “Terrified,” she replied.
His grip tightened around her fingers. “Me too.” Slowly, he lifted his gaze and she saw brightness sparkling in his eyes. “I’ve never had anyone think I’m special before,” he told her.
“I’ve never been anyone’s princess,” she told him back.
“So maybe...”
She held her breath and waited.
“Be a shame for you not to see Boston since you flew all the way here,” he said.
A hundred-pound weight lifted from her shoulders. She felt like she had the day she met the Frybergs, times ten. “What about my flight home?”
Letting go of her hand, James wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned in until their foreheads touched. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I know a pilot.”
EPILOGUE
Three weeks later
FOR THE LIFE of him, James was never going to get used to those nutcrackers. They were the stuff kids’ nightmares were made of. Whistling to himself, he passed under them and headed for the conductor’s shack.
“Good afternoon, Ed,” he greeted. “How’s the train business?”
The conductor blanched. “M-M-Mr. Hammond. We weren’t expecting you today. I’m afraid the castle closed early.”
“Are you telling me everyone has gone home?” James asked in his sternest voice. “It’s only two o’clock.”
“Well, it...it is Christmas Eve...”
“James Hammond, stop scaring the employees.” Noelle came bouncing out of the conductor’s shack wearing a Santa Claus hat and carrying a gold-and-white gift bag. Like it always did when he saw her, James’s breath caught in his throat.
“Don’t mind him, Ed,” she said. “He’s not nearly as Grinchy as he’d like people to believe.” Rising on tiptoes, she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. Completely confirming her charge, James kissed her back with equal enthusiasm. Her gift bag crinkled as she wrapped her arms tighter.
“Merry Christmas,” she said, smiling. “Nice sweater. You look very festive.” He was wearing a red-and-white reindeer jumper purchased at the hotel on his last visit a few days before. One of the advantages of having his own plane was that it made long-distance relationships a lot easier.
“So do you,” he replied. “Careful though. If Santa finds out y
ou stole his hat, he’ll put you on the naughty list.”
“Then we’d better not tell him.” Giving him one more kiss, she untangled herself and held out the gift bag. “This is for you. Merry Christmas Eve.”
James fingered the red polka-dotted tissue paper peering out from the top of the bag. He might as well have been five again, for the thrill that passed through him.
No, he corrected, a five-year-old wouldn’t get this choked up over a simple gift bag. “I thought we agreed to wait and exchange presents tomorrow night when we were alone.”
Back in Boston, there was a stack of boxes with Noelle’s name on them. More than necessary, probably, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. Finally, he understood the joy that came from giving to the people for whom you cared.
“I know,” she replied. “This is more of a pre-Christmas present.”
Meaning she’d cared enough in return to shop for him. His throat constricted a little more. As far as he was concerned, he already had the best Christmas present in the world standing in front of him.
Her hand came down to rest on his forearm. Shaking off his thoughts, he focused on her shimmering blue gaze instead. “Consider it a small thank-you for asking me if I’d help with next year’s window displays,” she said. “A very small thank-you. I’m poor from all my Christmas shopping.”
“You didn’t have to buy anything. Asking for your assistance was a no-brainer. No one is better suited to work on our chain-wide window display extravaganza than you, my little elf.” It was true. Hammond’s “new direction” involved rolling out Boston’s iconic displays on a nationwide basis. The new displays would be more modern and inclusive to reflect the current consumer public, and focus on the message that Christmas was a time for spreading love and goodwill. James was excited for the new project, and for Noelle’s involvement since she’d be making frequent trips to Boston. He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself, but if things went well he hoped Noelle might someday consider spending even more time in Boston.
Seemed hope had become a habit for him these days.
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