The numismatist had declared it the rarest thing he’d ever seen. Subject to more testing, he had pronounced the coin a relic from the age of Camelot, most probably depicting King Arthur himself. This news had sent Thrillkill and the teachers into such a tizzy that they’d forgot they were feuding and rushed off to examine the artifact every which way.
Professor Also was so excited she could hardly speak. “The thing is—the thing is,” she said, “normally—well, never—we don’t—well, I don’t, and I know the school doesn’t—except one time when Professor Pickle vouched for the art history expert—well, it wasn’t exactly art history, more current art. Well, not even that. It wasn’t art—crafts really. Anyway, we don’t accept these assessments at face value, or book value, or whatever it’s called, I forget, could it be par value? That doesn’t sound right. Of course we’re skeptical. We’re detectives. But Fashly Terrapin is the foremost expert—oh, yes, we were lucky to get him—he’s the top numismatist in the world, except for that fellow in Shanghai. At any rate, he said this is definitely—well, probably—no, absolutely—a coin from King Arthur’s time, can you imagine?”
This outpouring was so unlike Professor Also that Amanda thought one of the other teachers might be wearing a Winifred Also mask and playing a practical joke. Once she and her friends realized it really was the History of Detectives teacher and she was serious, they started jumping all over the room. They were so exuberant that poor Nigel freaked out and hid in a corner.
“But this is amazing,” said Amanda. “King Arthur? I thought he was just a myth.”
“Lots of people do,” said Professor Also. “Apparently they’re wrong. Although again, we do need to wait for the final judgment.”
“Don’t you see what this means?” said Ivy. “This is why Mr. Wiffle hid the coin in the haystack. He knew how valuable it was.”
“And it may have been the reason he was killed,” said Professor Scribbish, who had been walking by and heard the fuss.
“And Crocodile and the farmer,” said Simon.
“Of course Mavis Moriarty may have killed Wink for other reasons,” said Professor Also.
“Those letters were awfully emotional,” said Amanda. Wink’s heart must have been made of stone for them not to move him. She wondered what he was really like. He didn’t seem to have much in common with his son, that was for sure. With him away from home so often, Celerie must have exerted the larger influence over the boy and he’d ended up like her.
“I feel sorry for her,” said Amphora, who had come to see what the to-do was about. She’d been off somewhere doing who knew what and this was the first time Amanda had seen her in ages.
“Sorry for Mavis Moriarty?” said Simon. “A cold-blooded killer?”
“Watch it, Simon,” said Ivy.
“I’m just saying.”
“See that you keep it to that,” said Ivy.
“I know she’s a terrible person,” said Amphora. “But she’s human. Criminals fall in love too.”
Amanda hoped she wasn’t referring to her and Nick. Of course she wasn’t. Nick didn’t love her and Amphora knew it.
“Oh, brother,” said Simon.
“Love isn’t simple, you know,” said Amphora. “You can end up loving the wrong person.”
Simon looked straight at Amphora. “Or knowing the wrong person.”
“Twenty p,” said Ivy. “Hand it over, Simon.”
He took out a couple of coins and shoved them into Ivy’s hand.
“And don’t push,” she said. Simon gave Amanda a look that said, “What’s with her?” Amanda shrugged. “I heard that, Simon.”
How Ivy could hear a look Amanda didn’t know, but it seemed that you couldn’t get anything past her, regardless of what medium you chose. Amanda imagined that Simon was thinking the same thing and trying to come up with a new and astonishing way to fool her. She gave him a fifty-fifty chance.
“I’m sure we’ll sort out who murdered whom for what reason,” said Professor Scribbish, who didn’t seem to notice that the kids were fining each other. Or maybe he did and approved. In any case he didn’t say anything.
“Doesn’t the coin have to be turned over to the government?” said Ivy.
“That it does,” said Professor Scribbish. “Historical artifacts like this one belong to the people. They can’t be held by a private person or entity. UNESCO treaty and UK laws.”
“Why didn’t Mr. Wiffle turn the coin in then?” said Clive.
“Good question,” said Professor Also. “The fact that he didn’t might have had something to do with his murder as well.”
“I don’t understand,” said Amanda. “Why can’t a person keep something they found?” There wasn’t much to find in L.A., unless you counted fossils, and those you could keep—as far as she knew.
“Cultural treasures,” said Simon. “No one can own them.”
“But people try to, right?”
“Correcto,” said Simon. “Which makes me wonder who else might be after this coin. Come to think of it, where did Mr. Wiffle get it?”
“From the holes at the farm, I’d say,” said Amanda. Which implied that there were more of the little treasures. Were they still down there?
“Possibly,” said Simon. “Except why was the farmer digging in the first place? I’ll bet he found that coin accidentally and then went looking for more.”
“You’re not saying Mr. Wiffle stole it from him, are you?” said Amanda. David wouldn’t like that at all, although he’d never find out unless he came back. He’d have to, of course. How would he survive by himself? Thinking about what he might be facing out there in the wild, she felt afraid for him. As upset as she’d been with her parents over the years, she’d never considered running away. How would she take care of herself?
“Probably not,” said Professor Scribbish. “But Crocodile might have.”
“Oooooooh,” said everyone in the room.
“Of course,” said Amanda. “Crocodile stole the coin from the farmer, Wink was watching him and found out about it, Wink got hold of it—how did Wink get hold of it?”
“That we don’t know,” said Professor Also. “But I like your theory as far as it goes.”
“What happens to someone who has a coin like this and doesn’t turn it in?” said Amanda.
“It’s considered a criminal act,” said Ivy. “You can go to prison for seven years.”
“Wow. I had no idea.” She wondered if her father had prosecuted an artifact thief before he’d quit the Crown Prosecution Service. It must be weird for someone like that to be in prison with all those hardened criminals. “Hello, I stole an old coin.” What would the other prisoners think of that?
“How do you suppose Crocodile found out about the coins?” said Amphora.
“We don’t know that he did,” said Professor Also.
“But he knew the farm, obviously,” said Amanda, still trying to picture her father cross-examining archaeologists. Perhaps Ivy’s father had testified. Or maybe she was just getting carried away. “And if he came when the farmer was digging, he would have realized something was up. He probably knew about the tunnel too.”
“And Mr. Wiffle,” said Ivy. “They all had to know about it. Do you think one of them dropped the leprechaun coins?”
“What about the leprechaun coins, Professor?” said Simon.
Professor Also brushed her curly bangs out of her eyes. “Mr. Terrapin hasn’t a clue about those,” she said. “He’s never seen anything like them.”
“I’d love to be Guinevere,” said Amphora when the teachers had left the common room.
“Don’t say it, Simon,” said Ivy.
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” said Simon. “Actually, that’s wrong. I was going to say that Amphora would make a beautiful queen.”
Amphora looked at Simon as if he had just turned into a walrus. “Why, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said, Simon Binkle.”
“I want credit for that,” said
Simon. “It should cancel out some of my fines.”
“What, you’re making preventative comments now?” said Ivy. “Twenty p.”
“I am not,” said Simon. “I really mean it. She would be extraordinary.”
“Better watch it, Simon,” said Amphora. “We’ll think you’ve flipped your lid. We’ll have to send you to a mental hospital.”
“I haven’t flipped anything,” said Simon. “Can’t a guy give a girl a compliment?”
“Not when it’s you,” said Ivy.
Amanda tried to picture Simon with a girlfriend. She couldn’t. Even though he could occasionally say something nice, the thought of him being nice enough to a girl to win her over was ludicrous. She thought Ivy had been a bit harsh actually saying it, though.
“I think you should fine yourself for that one, Ivy,” she said.
“Oh, all right,” said Ivy. “I give myself 20p. Satisfied?”
“That was most generous of you, Ivy,” said Amphora. “You didn’t need to do that.”
“Let’s just get back to the coins, shall we?” said Ivy, taking 20p from one pocket and sticking it in another. “Professor Also says we should accept the verdict of this turtle guy.”
“Terrapin,” said Simon.
“Right,” said Ivy. “But as you may know, there are other places believed to be Camelot. Perhaps this isn’t it at all. Perhaps the coin was moved from somewhere else.”
“Or forged,” said Clive.
“Professor Also seems to think it’s genuine,” said Ivy.
“Bah,” said Simon. “There never was such a place. It’s a fake.”
“If it’s a fake, a lot of people have lost their lives over a worthless piece of metal,” said Amphora.
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” said Simon.
“Do you think the zombies did it?” said Clive. He was really obsessed with those zombies. Every time a question of culpability arose he suggested them. He might actually be right for all they knew.
“If they’re as stupid as they look,” said Simon.
“Do you think they’re the ones who broke into the secrets trove?” said Clive.
Now that was a scary thought. Zombies in the tunnels beneath the school. Amanda was astonished that Amphora didn’t scream at the prospect.
“That doesn’t sound right,” said Simon. “Unless they’re just the muscle and Blixus put them up to it.”
Finally a theory Amanda could get behind. “I think you’re onto something, Simon,” she said. “The zombies are Blixus’s associates. He has to stay in hiding but they don’t. He tells them what to do and they do it.”
“So you think Blixus is responsible for the trove and the murder?” said Simon.
“Yes,” said Amanda. “In which case, he’s not done with the farm. If he thinks there are more coins there, he’ll come back. Or he’ll send the zombies back to look.”
“So if we watch the farm we’ll figure out where he is?” said Ivy.
“Sort of. We’ll have to follow the zombies to find him. Er, unless they never go to him in person. Maybe they work by text or something.”
Zombies texting. She’d have to remember that if she ever decided to make a horror movie after all. She’d always resisted doing that, but she’d never been around real live zombies before. The idea was starting to look promising.
“If that’s the case, we have to capture one of them and get Scapulus to hack his phone,” said Ivy. “Then we can figure out where Blixus is.”
“Capture a zombie?” said Clive. “You can’t capture a zombie. They’ll eat your brain.” He burst into laughter.
“Don’t zombies have something to do with voodoo?” said Ivy.
“You’re not suggesting that Mrs. Sweetgum has anything to do with this?” said Amanda.
“Oooh, I hadn’t thought of that,” said Ivy.
“You girls are nuts,” said Simon shaking his head. “There’s no such thing as zombies, and voodoo doesn’t work.”
“Maybe not,” said Amanda, watching his cowlick bounce, “but some people think they’re real. Or want to give the appearance that they are.”
“Rubbish,” said Simon. “It’s a coincidence.”
“I’m with you on this one, Simon,” said Ivy. “It’s an interesting idea, but that’s all it is.”
“Say, you don’t think the zombies got David, do you?” said Amanda.
“Now that is a very real possibility,” said Simon. “Whoever they are, we need to go after them.”
29
At the Zoo
Amanda thought a trip back to Penrith would be helpful. In addition to hunting for zombies, they could take the other tunnel fork and see where it led. However, Simon and Clive had other ideas.
“We want to go to the zoo,” said Clive. “We heard there’s a huge rainbow cluster there.”
“Any zombies?” said Amanda.
“I don’t think so,” said Clive.
“Which is more important, the zombies or the rainbows?” At this point, she couldn’t tell. It seemed that the hacker could do just about anything, including harm them, but if the zombies had got Despina, Hill, and Jeffrey, that might be worse.
“We can do both,” said Clive. “Zombies don’t move very fast.”
“They aren’t real zombies,” said Simon, sighing.
“Oh, right,” said Clive. “I guess I’m getting a little carried away. I do think we should investigate these rainbows though. They’re supposed to be different from anything else we’ve seen.”
“How is that?” said Ivy.
“Much denser,” said Clive. “More energy.”
Perhaps the hacker was becoming more advanced. Or targeting the zoo for some reason. Or both.
“Is there something about the zoo that would contribute to that?” said Amanda.
“What, like monkey pee?” said Amphora.
“Very funny,” said Simon. “The answer is we don’t know. Not monkey pee, though.”
“Maybe the methane from the animals,” said Amphora.
“Now you’re thinking like a scientist,” said Simon. Amphora stuck her tongue out at him. This time Ivy didn’t seem to notice. “Except why not on sheep farms then? Or pig farms. Now they are going to give off a lot of methane.”
“Do we know that there aren’t rainbow clusters on sheep or pig farms?” said Amanda.
“No, we don’t,” said Ivy. “I heard that, Amphora.”
“Shut up,” said Amphora.
“Do bees give off methane?” said Amanda.
“I’m sure they do,” said Simon. “Not very much though.” Amanda tried to picture a bee big enough to give off the same amount of methane as a large mammal. It wasn’t a comforting image. “At any rate, I don’t see how a quick trip to the zoo could hurt. I’m game. Who else wants to go?”
“Me,” said Clive.
“Me too,” said Amanda, who couldn’t really spare the time but wanted to go anyway.
“Not me,” said Ivy. “Thanks anyway.”
“Amphora?” said Simon. On the heels of that compliment about being queenly, the invitation seemed like an absolute love letter, but Amanda didn’t believe it would have any effect. Simon and Amphora would get together the day elephant-sized bees roamed the earth.
Amphora thought for a moment and said mysteriously, “Sorry. Things to do.”
“Okay, that’s it then,” said Simon.
“What about Gordon?” said Amanda. “We promised him he could be a part of our group.”
“Oh, all right,” said Simon. “I’ll text him.”
But like Amphora, Gordon had a different agenda and declined. That left Simon, Clive, and Amanda, who grabbed their skateboards and tooled down to the zoo. The place was known for its wild boar and wolf exhibits, and even if they didn’t find rainbows it would be fun.
When they got there, there wasn’t a rainbow in the sky. “Are you sure there are supposed to be rainbows here?” said Amanda.
“That’s what I heard,
” said Clive, peering all around.
“From who?” said Amanda.
“I got a local weather alert.”
“We’ll wait,” said Simon.
“Let’s check it out,” said Amanda, looking at the various signs. They appeared to be smack in the middle of the zoo because arrows were pointing in all directions: birds and monkeys off to the left, large animals and reptiles to the right, the marine section and insects straight ahead. “We may as well see the animals. What are your favorites?”
“Emus,” said Clive.
“Really?” said Amanda. “Why?”
“They’re just so impossible,” said Clive. “They shouldn’t exist but they do.”
“How about you, Simon?” said Amanda.
“Boars,” said Simon.
“How come?” said Clive.
“They’re indigenous to the UK,” said Simon. “I don’t like the idea of taking animals out of their natural habitat.”
“Me either,” said Amanda. “I like wolves. I most definitely do not like monkeys.” Ever since that nasty monkey had peed on her on the train to London during her first term at Legatum she’d grown to detest the creatures. She hoped never to see one again. “Let’s start with Clive’s emus, which, oh dear, have been moved far away from their natural habitat in Australia.”
“I’m not going to boycott them,” said Simon. “Let’s go.”
The kids had just started toward the bird section when suddenly the sky crackled and a huge broken rainbow appeared. It was so bright and shimmery that it seemed alive. The end appeared to be very close to them, which made no sense because normally you can only see rainbows in the distance. This one defied the laws of optics.
“Come on,” said Simon. “Let’s see if we can find the end.”
The group made off toward the spot the rainbow seemed to be coming from. They’d gone just a few yards when the entire sky lit up with rainbows in every direction—big ones, small ones, curved ones, straight ones, all with the colors in different orders. The air was filled with the hum of electricity. And then each rainbow gradually changed color, shimmering in the light, until they were all purple. Zoo visitors began to panic and scattered this way and that, except for the children, who tried to run toward the rainbows. Animals were snorting, barking, screeching, wailing, honking, tooting, and skittering. Zookeepers ran to and fro, some throwing blankets over animals’ eyes so they couldn’t see the rainbows. To say that the scene had devolved into complete chaos would not be an overstatement.
Amanda Lester, Detective Box Set Page 95
