‘Yes, I was there, Ryan. I heard what he said.’
‘I thought you were gonna sort this.’
‘And I will, but it’s all going to take time.’
Ryan threw himself back against the wall outside the training ground administration block. ‘Shit! This is a fucking nightmare… I don’t know what to do, Max. I really don’t know what the fuck to do.’
‘You do nothing. Okay? You do nothing. You lie low, you don’t say anything to any reporters, you speak to no press, you keep quiet. Do you hear me, Ryan?’
‘Yeah, I hear you.’
‘Well, I’m not sure you do.’
Ryan stared at his agent. ‘You’re treating me like a kid again.’
‘I’m just making sure you know the score, that’s all. Because there is going to be so much digging into your past now… you got anything else I don’t know about that you might want to share with me?’
Ryan held that stare, shaking his head slowly. ‘You know all there is to know.’
‘You better be telling me the truth, Ryan. Because the last thing I need is some new “surprise” coming from out of nowhere giving me problems I really don’t need.’
‘For fuck’s sake…’ Ryan sighed, turning his head away from Max.
‘This isn’t a game, Ryan.’
‘I’m well aware of that, thanks.’ Ryan pushed a hand through his hair before facing Max again. ‘What about Amber?’
‘What about her?’
‘She’s a reporter. And I can’t not speak to her; she’s Rico’s mum. I need to speak to her.’
‘Not about this you don’t. I’m serious, Ryan. I know you care about her…’
‘I love her, Max.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ Max sighed. ‘Have I got this to deal with, too?’
‘What?’
‘You. Behaving like a fourteen-year-old.’
Ryan threw Max a look.
‘Don’t create more problems for yourself, kid. You’ve got enough going on. Come on. Let’s get you home.’
‘I don’t fucking want to go home, Max.’
‘Well, there’s no point in you staying here. Besides, the police need to speak to you some time soon, so we might as well get that over with.’
‘Is it gonna go against me, Max?’
‘Is what going to go against you?’
‘The fact we covered up my association in all of this. That betting ring was being investigated; it was all over the news at the time I signed for Red Star. So, is that gonna go against me?’
Max dug his hands into his pockets and sighed. ‘I honestly don’t know. All I know is…’ He looked at Ryan, and he could quite clearly see the panic in the young man’s eyes before he hung his head. ‘All I know is we’ve got some of the best lawyers working on this, and they’ll do everything in their power to limit the damage, I promise you that. But that’s all I can promise you right now.’
‘I told her she wasn’t enough.’
Max frowned slightly. ‘What?’
Ryan raised his head, his eyes meeting Max’s. ‘Amber. I told her she wasn’t enough. I told her if it wasn’t for Rico… I lied, Max. I fucking lied, because she was all I ever needed, and I just couldn’t fucking make her love me too. I couldn’t do that. Why couldn’t I do that?’
‘Oh, Jesus…’ Max moved closer to Ryan, gently squeezing his shoulder. ‘Hey, come on. Where’s that cocky, arrogant, self-obsessed Ryan Fisher we all know?’
Ryan’s eyes were full of tears, and he didn’t even know if he was crying because he was terrified of what was happening now, or because of what he was telling Max; he had no idea. It just felt as if all the control was slipping away from him. He was beginning to feel helpless.
‘He was the one who drove her away, Max. The old Ryan. He was the one she couldn’t live with, and even when I tried to tell her I’d changed… even when…’ He couldn’t get the words out; they were stuck in his throat, the emotion taking over everything until he felt as though he couldn’t breathe.
‘Come on,’ Max said kindly, putting his arm around Ryan’s shoulders as they walked towards the car park. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
‘I don’t know what to do, Max.’
‘I’ll sort this, Ryan, I promise you. Somehow, believe me, I’ll sort this.’
*
‘You’re not worried about him, are you?’ Ronnie asked, watching Amber closely as she moved around the living room, straightening curtains, nudging items of furniture around and generally doing anything possible to avoid sitting down.
‘Worried about who? Jim? No, he’ll be fine. It’s not like he hasn’t done this kind of thing before. He had just as much hype surrounding him when he came to Newcastle Red Star.’
‘Yeah, but back then he didn’t have all this personal drama surrounding him, did he? And I wasn’t talking about Jim. I was talking about Ryan.’
‘Yes, I’m worried about him.’ Amber moved a large brown table lamp a centimetre to the left of the sideboard it was currently sitting on. ‘I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.’
‘Amber, will you just sit down, please? You’re making me nervous with all this unnecessary flitting about from one end of the room to the other.’
‘I’m not “flitting about”, as you put it, Ronnie. I’m trying to make my new home feel more lived in, that’s all. Because it’s taking some getting used to.’
‘Well, considering you’ve only been living in the thing for about five minutes I reckon you’re expecting a bit too much, to be honest.’
She flung herself down onto the couch beside him, throwing herself back against the over-stuffed cushions. ‘It’s too big. This place, I mean. It’s way too big.’
‘It’s frigging amazing, that’s what it is. You still not feeling it?’
She looked at her best friend. ‘I don’t hate it. But I’m not in love with it.’ She looked away, leaning forward to push the glass bowl sitting in the centre of the coffee table a little bit more to the right. ‘But I’m in love with Jim. And if he’s here, then I’ll learn to love this place.’
‘You heard from Ryan since all this kicked off?’ Ronnie asked, taking her hand and pulling her back against the cushions. ‘And stop doing that, will you? Everything looks fine.’
‘No,’ she sighed, running both hands through her hair. ‘I haven’t heard from him. I really want to talk to him – or a part of me really wants to talk to him, anyway, but I’m not sure I should.’
‘Why not?’
She looked at Ronnie. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Maybe you shouldn’t get involved.’
‘Don’t you start. I’ve had enough of that from Jim, and my dad, but what people don’t seem to understand now is that things are different. Before I could have just tried to ignore this. I could have pushed it to the back of my mind and believed that Ryan Fisher really wasn’t my problem any more. But I can’t do that now. He’s Rico’s dad, and that means he’s still a part of my life and because of that connection I… I still care about him, Ronnie. I can’t just switch that off because it doesn’t work like that.’
‘So call him.’
She frowned, slightly confused by the fact he was telling her to do something everyone else had told her to leave well alone. ‘Maybe now isn’t the right time.’
Ronnie shrugged, getting up off the couch. ‘Your decision.’
She sat forward, narrowing her eyes as she continued to stare at him. ‘Is it? Ronnie, why are you pushing me to do something everyone else is so against?’
‘Because you listen to other people way too much. More than you think you do. Look, Amber, if you want to call him, call him. Ask him how he is, make sure he’s okay, then get back on with your life. That’s all you have to do. And whether you do that or not is entirely up to you. Besides, the Amber Sullivan I used to know would never have waited for someone’s permission to do anything. Would she?’
Amber looked at him as he raised an eyebrow and threw her a small smile before
leaving the room. No. She wouldn’t. And that’s what confused her even more.
*
‘I’m going down there,’ Ryan said as he sat at the breakfast bar in Gary and Debbie’s stark white kitchen nursing a cup of strong coffee.
‘Down where?’ Debbie asked, not looking up from her laptop. Her nanny had taken Jodi to playgroup and she was making the most of the time she had alone to get some work done. Or she had been, until Ryan had turned up.
‘London.’
Debbie’s head shot up, her eyes meeting Ryan’s. ‘Is that a good idea?’
‘What the fuck do people expect me to do? Sit on my arse doing nothing until all this blows over? If this all blows over.’
‘It’ll blow over,’ Debbie said, her eyes now back down on her keyboard. ‘You’ve got one of the best agents there is. He’ll sort this.’
‘You know, everyone keeps saying that as though all he has to do is have a word with a few people and it’ll all go away. Well, we tried that, didn’t we? And look what happened. And what are you doing anyway?’
Debbie looked up again. ‘I’m working, Ryan. Believe it or not, I do actually have a career, despite what some people might think.’
Ryan took a sip of coffee, ignoring the edgy tone to her voice.
‘If I’m being forced to take a break from playing I might as well use that free time to go and see Rico.’
‘Well, there is that, I suppose.’
Ryan frowned. ‘He’s my son. And if I want to go and see him I’ll go and see him, and there isn’t a lot anyone can do to stop me.’
‘I wasn’t stopping you from doing anything, Ryan. But Amber’s just got back from Vegas, Jim’s started his new job, not to mention the fact that they’re both trying to settle into a new home.’
‘And the last thing they need is me turning up, is that what you’re trying to say? Besides, Jim Allen isn’t exactly starting a new job, is he? He’s just going back to his old one, and…’
Debbie rested her chin in her hand as she looked at Ryan. ‘And, what? Come on, what’s the matter?’
Ryan stood up, walking over to the window, looking out over Gary and Debbie’s huge back garden with its swimming pool, purpose-built kids’ play area and manicured lawns that seemed to go on forever. ‘I think Jim Allen’s got something to do with this.’
It was Debbie’s turn to frown as she swung around on her stool, her eyes not leaving Ryan. ‘You think Jim Allen’s got something to do with your involvement in an illegal betting ring?’
Ryan turned away from the window to face Debbie. ‘I think he’s got something to do with the fact that my involvement is all over the media.’
Debbie’s frown deepened. ‘You got any proof of this? Because you can’t just go throwing accusations like that around.’
‘He’s got something to do with it, Debbie, I’m telling you. I’ve got this feeling, right here in my gut. He’s not content with taking my girlfriend and my son away from me; he’s now hell-bent on taking my career, too. And why? Because I’m in love with Amber?’
Debbie sighed, sliding down from her stool. ‘Ryan, are you sure you’re not just being paranoid? I mean, I know you and Jim have never really got on… Hang on, you’re still in love with Amber?’
‘Of course I’m still in love with Amber. I’ve always been in love with Amber. I just wasn’t always mature enough to realise that.’ He leaned back against the French doors, shoving his hands deep into his jeans pockets, his eyes staring down at the black-tiled floor. ‘I owe her so much because she changed me, Debbie. She made me see the kind of man I could actually be; she gave me my amazing baby boy.’ He looked back up, his eyes meeting Debbie’s. ‘I watched her give birth to my son, and she has no idea what that did to me, not really. She became everything to me that day, and yet still I couldn’t tell her that. I just kept banging on about sex and how much I wanted to…’ He turned away again, taking a deep breath. ‘But, do you know what? The day she gave birth to Rico, I think that was the day it all ended for us.’
‘How can you possibly know that, Ryan?’
He closed his eyes for a second, breathing in deeply again. ‘Jim Allen never did walk away from her, did he? Oh, on paper, yes, that divorce was final. Their relationship was over.’ He opened his eyes and looked back over at Debbie. ‘But it wasn’t, was it? He broke her down and he tore her heart out but he never really walked away. Because Amber wouldn’t let him. She’ll never let him, Debbie. Will she?’
‘She loves him, Ryan. They’ve just got married, they’re making a new life together.’
‘And that’s all proof that he’s changed, is it? Look, don’t tell Amber any of this, you got that? Everything I’ve just told you… everything. It stays between you and me, okay?’
‘You really think Jim’s involved in all of this?’
‘Somehow. I mean it, Debbie. I don’t want anyone to know about this, not even Gary.’
Debbie held up her hands, the look on Ryan’s face more than determined. ‘Okay. I won’t say a thing. I promise. But I still think you’re being paranoid. I mean, why would Jim do that? He’s got what he wants now, hasn’t he? He’s got Amber back, they’ve got a whole new life ahead of them – what would he gain by trying to wreck your career?’
‘I’ll never be out of her life, Debbie. Because of Rico I will always be a part of Amber’s life.’
‘Yeah, I get that, but I still don’t see why that would make Jim feel the need to ruin your career.’
‘Because he wants me down in the gutter. He wants me on my knees with nothing left. He wants to destroy me because it makes him feel better, that’s all. That’s the kind of man he is. In his eyes I’m always going to be a threat to what he and Amber have. In his eyes, that’s never gonna go away.’
Debbie leaned back against the counter, that frown still present on her face. ‘I still don’t get it. I mean, surely, if that was the case, then isn’t there a risk that this could push Amber closer to you, rather than further away? If she thought Jim was trying to do that to you… I think you’re wrong here, Ryan.’
Ryan stuck his hands in his pockets, a slight smile now forming on his handsome face. ‘Yeah, well, you can think what you like. But I know what I’m feeling, and that feeling is telling me that Jim Allen may not be quite as clever as he thinks he is. Because you’re right – if he really is going all out to destroy me, and Amber finds out, that isn’t gonna be pretty, is it?’
Debbie shook her head. ‘No, Ryan, come on. You have to have some proof here, you can’t just go marching down there throwing accusations around. That’s only gonna cause more trouble. Surely it’d be better if you kept your head down for a bit until all this really does blow over?’
‘And that’s exactly what I plan to do, Debbie. I’m not stupid. But once my suspicions are confirmed, believe me, she isn’t gonna want to know him any more. And this time… this time I’ll make sure she never goes back to him.’
‘You’re talking about wrecking a marriage here, Ryan. And I can’t let you do that. Amber’s my best friend, and she’s happy with Jim.’
‘With a man who still lies to her? With a man who’s trying his best to bring down the father of her baby? Do you really think she wants to be with a man like that?’
‘She loves him, Ryan. And I really don’t think anything you can do… Come on! Everything you’re talking about here is purely hypothetical because you have no proof. The only reason you think Jim has anything to do with this is because of your history. That’s all. You have no other reason.’
‘She thinks she loves him, Debbie. She thinks she does. But Jim Allen is on his last life with Amber, and he should have realised that before he started all of this. He should have realised that.’
‘Should have realised what? Ryan, please, don’t go down there. Don’t start any trouble when you have nothing to back it up with. Can’t you just let her be happy?’
‘Oh, I want her to be happy more than anything, Debbie, believe me. I jus
t want her to be happy with me. And now… now I just might have all the ammunition I need to finally make that happen.’
Chapter Seventeen
‘He’s been suspended,’ Amber sighed, throwing the newspaper down onto her desk.
‘Well, I wouldn’t feel too sorry for him, Amber. He’s still on full pay. I don’t think your child-support payments are gonna suffer, somehow.’
Amber threw Ronnie a sideways glance, folding her arms as she leaned back against the desk. ‘And I still haven’t spoken to him.’
‘Because you’re afraid of what anyone else might say if you do?’
‘No. Because I haven’t been able to get in touch with him, that’s why. He won’t answer his phone… Oh, just the man I want to see,’ Amber said, directing her attention to Max as he walked into the Cloud Sports office.
‘That’s handy, because you’re just the woman I want to see. Morning, Ronnie.’
‘Max.’
‘So, how’s my most beautiful client today?’ Max smiled. One of those smiles that told Amber he definitely had some kind of ulterior motive.
‘Sorry, are you talking to me?’
Max rolled his eyes. ‘Take a compliment, sweetheart, will you?’
‘I would if I thought it was sincere, so, whatever it is you’re about to ask me, the answer’s no.’
‘You don’t even know what it is yet?’
‘The answer’s still no. Where’s Ryan?’
‘How the hell should I know? I’m his agent not his babysitter. Although sometimes those lines get more than blurred, I agree.’
‘He’s not answering his phone when I call him, Max.’
‘I wouldn’t get involved, kiddo.’
‘Too late. Why isn’t he answering his phone?’
‘Look, Amber, I really have no idea why he’s choosing to ignore your calls because he’s answering mine, and believe me, sweetheart, I wish it were the other way around. He’s killing me right now.’
‘Is he alright?’
‘As much as he can be, given the circumstances.’
‘So, what exactly went on, then?’ Ronnie asked, folding his arms as he looked at Max.
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