This was the Ryan Fisher she wanted. A man who might not be completely hers just yet, but she was working on it. The wheels were in motion. And this time, she knew exactly what she was doing.
*
Amber pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly, resting her chin on them as she looked out over an empty Parkfield. It was a cold February morning and she was supposed to be busy setting up for the live televised match that evening, but her mind was on other things. Her mind had been on other things for a while now.
‘Talk to me.’
She turned her head to see Ronnie sit down beside her, gratefully taking the mug of tea he held out for her. ‘No.’
‘Oh, so we’re in that kind of mood, are we?’
She took a sip of tea, staring out ahead of her again. ‘Is everything okay in there?’
‘You and Jim had a row?’
She turned her head slowly to look at him. ‘You really didn’t have to ask that with such a hopeful tone of voice. And no, we haven’t had a row.’
‘So what’s the face for, then? Has Ryan been throwing his weight around or something?’
Amber took another sip of tea, turning back to look out over the quiet stadium, her attention focused on a lone groundsman down by the touchline who seemed to be giving the grass there some close examination. ‘Everything’s fine, Ronnie. I’ve just got a bit of a headache, that’s all.’
‘Do you want me to go away?’
‘I’d prefer to be on my own right now, yes.’
‘Tough. I’m going nowhere. Not until you talk to me, anyway.’
‘I am talking to you.’
Ronnie threw his head back and let out a loud sigh. ‘You know, you used to be so much better at hiding what you were really feeling.’
She looked at him again, cocking her head slightly. ‘Am I not allowed an off day?’
‘Of course you are.’
She just raised an eyebrow and turned her attention back to the groundsman, who was now poking the grass down by the technical area with a rake.
‘Why don’t you just talk to him, Amber?’
Amber closed her eyes, taking in a long, deep breath, but she didn’t say anything.
‘It’s over now, and you know that.’
She stared down into her mug of tea. ‘Is it?’
‘Ryan’s back at Newcastle Red Star, it doesn’t look like any criminal charges are going to be brought against him…’
‘I’m scared, Ronnie. I’m scared to talk to him because I don’t know if I want to hear what he has to say.’
‘Have you been feeling like this for all these weeks?’ Ronnie asked, leaning forward, clasping his hands together between his knees.
Amber nodded, her eyes still fixed firmly on her tea. ‘I feel… I feel like crap. Because I’m doubting him, and I’m only doing that because of the things he’s done in the past. I’m still assuming he’s that man, and what does that make me, Ronnie?’ She finally looked up, her eyes meeting his. ‘What kind of wife does that make me? If I can’t trust my husband. If I can’t believe that everything he told me was the truth. If I’m still doubting that he really has changed. What kind of wife does that make me? Because I hate myself for it.’
Ronnie reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. ‘You really do need to talk to him, Amber. I can’t believe he hasn’t already noticed you’ve got something on your mind.’
‘Well, maybe I’m a better actress than I give myself credit for.’
‘Talk to him.’
‘Not before the match. That isn’t fair.’
‘Just talk to him. Today. Before this gets out of hand, because you have absolutely no proof that Jim had anything to do with all of that coming out about Ryan and the betting ring. You have no proof, Amber. You’re worrying yourself stupid purely because of something Ryan said. So you really need to talk to Jim.’
‘How’s that going to make him feel? How is making him think that I still don’t trust him going to make him feel?’
‘Just talk to him, Amber. Because you know as well as I do that this can’t carry on. If you were any other kind of person I’d tell you to just brush it under the carpet and forget about it because no damage appears to have been done. But I know you too well, and I know this will only grow into some kind of obsession if you don’t sort it out. Come on, kiddo. Don’t let Ryan’s paranoia spill over onto you. You know how he feels about Jim. And he needs someone to blame. Jim’s the obvious choice, I’ve already told you that.’
It was Amber’s turn to sigh. ‘I know I’m being stupid, but I just got scared, Ronnie. Something could damage what Jim and I have finally found, because I’m happy. I’m so much in love with that man that sometimes I feel as though I can’t even breathe if he isn’t around, it’s that bad. He’s so far under my skin that he is never going to go away. But if he’s lied to me, after everything he’s told me…’
‘And what has he told you, Amber? Because you seem so sure that he really has changed this time.’
‘He has. I know he has, but I also know that him and Ryan…’ She stood up, digging her hands into the pockets of her jacket. ‘I’m going back inside. It’s freezing out here.’
‘Amber…’
‘I’ll talk to him, Ronnie. I promise. I’ll talk to him. Tonight.’
*
Ryan put the phone down and frowned. Rico was staying with his granddad for a few days, and although it was great that he had his son back up north for a totally unexpected visit, he couldn’t help wondering why Amber had done that. Why had she allowed Rico out of her sight for no particular reason, because that wasn’t usually the case. Sure, she was working tonight, he knew that. She was reporting live for Cloud Sports from Parkfield for Endleigh United’s top of the league match with a rival London club, but he knew that she had nights like this covered – nights when both she and Jim were working. Family members usually travelled down south to help her out, he knew that. So why had she suddenly decided to change the rules?
Freddie had told him he was reading way too much into it; that she was probably just snowed under and it was better for Rico to be back in the north-east for a while. But Ryan wasn’t totally convinced. He knew Freddie wasn’t lying to him; if something was going on then he’d be one of the last people Amber told. But Ryan just had a feeling that Rico’s visit up north wasn’t quite as simple as it might sound.
Picking up his phone again he quickly searched for Amber’s number, pressing call before he had a chance to change his mind.
She picked up after three rings. ‘What do you want, Ryan?’
‘Why didn’t you tell me Rico was back in Newcastle?’
‘Has my dad not called you?’
‘Yes, he has, but why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Ryan, I really haven’t got time for this, I’m busy.’
‘Yeah, I know you are, I just…’
‘I thought you’d be happy to have your son with you for a few days.’
‘Amber, baby, I’m frigging ecstatic, I just don’t understand…’
‘It’s pretty simple, Ryan. Both Jim and I have got a lot on this week, and I just thought it would be better for Rico if he stayed with my dad for a few days. But I told him to make sure you saw him whenever you wanted, has he told you that?’
‘Yes, he has…’
‘Then what’s the problem here?’
‘There isn’t one. I’m really grateful that I’m going to get some time with my boy, but… why, Amber?’
‘What do you mean, why? Ryan, I really don’t have time for this, it’s almost kick-off…’
‘You don’t usually do anything without at least a week’s planning, so, I’m finding this really hard…’
‘Maybe I just got all spontaneous. Now, will you get off the phone? Please? And go and do whatever it is you’ve got planned tonight.’
‘I haven’t got anything planned.’
‘Ellen not coming over? Or has she fucked about with you, too, t
he way she fucked about with Brandon?’
Ryan closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. ‘She’s really sorry about the way she treated him, Amber.’
‘Yeah. I’m sure she is. But you’re not one to turn down a free fuck, huh? Even if it’s with a woman who’s quite willing to rip the heart out of my stepson the second you show her the tiniest hint of interest.’
‘It wasn’t like that, Amber.’
‘I don’t actually care what it was like, Ryan. Because sometimes I think the pair of you deserve each other.’
‘What the frig’s that supposed to mean? And when the hell did we start pulling me apart?’
‘I’ve got to go. I’m working, and I haven’t got time to stand here and argue with you.’
‘Hey, sweetheart, I didn’t call you for an argument. I called because I was worried about you.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Yeah. You always are, Amber.’
‘Give Rico a kiss from his mum when you see him.’
Ryan stared at the phone as she hung up, before throwing it down onto the counter. Jesus, she was hard work sometimes. So why did he still want to do nothing but rip every item of clothing from her body so fast it would make her head spin, then fuck her like tomorrow was never coming? Shit! He really didn’t need this. Even when she was being a first-rate bitch she gave him a hard-on he knew he was going to have to deal with. It reminded him of the day he’d first met her – when she’d interviewed him for News North East on the day he’d officially signed for Newcastle Red Star. She’d been all hard-faced attitude with the sexiest legs he’d ever seen and a body he’d dreamed of diving into, even though she’d been nothing but an ice queen who’d seemed to ooze contempt for him. But, oh boy, once he’d managed to break her down, melt that cool exterior…
He threw his head back, closed his eyes, and let out the loudest groan. His erection was straining to break free now, and even though he wanted to rid himself of these thoughts of the woman he still wanted more than anything; a woman who, no doubt, would be fucking his old boss at some point tonight, he couldn’t. All he could think about was her.
He made his way into the downstairs bathroom and sat down on the closed toilet lid, reaching down to pick up a magazine from the pile beside the sink. The magazine was months old now, but he couldn’t throw it away. He was never going to throw it away, because she was in there, long legs and perfect tits and eyes that locked onto yours and made you think she wanted you as much as you wanted her. And he wanted her. He wanted her so fucking bad he could taste it. He could taste her because he’d been down there, hadn’t he? He’d been to that heaven that lay between her legs and it was a place he needed to visit again.
He threw the magazine down onto the floor, open at a double-page spread of Amber lying naked across a bench in the Newcastle Red Star home dressing room, her back arched, those perfect tits covered only by her strategically placed forearm, one leg pulled up slightly, only just hiding something many would kill to get a glimpse of, but he knew what was there. He knew everything about her.
Reaching down, he took himself in his hand, taking his pleasure the only way he wanted it tonight. Just him and the woman he was still hopelessly in love with. Just him and those memories of the nights he’d lived inside her, the feel of her skin against his, his mouth touching her in all those private, secret places. But even when that relief came, she was still there, in his head, invading every thought he was going to have tonight.
He sat back, closing his eyes as his breathing slowed down. Was this the way it was always going to be now? Was she back to being a bitch towards him, and he’d spend the rest of his life staring at naked pictures of her while he wanked off and remembered the times he’d fucked her senseless? Was he really going to let that happen?
Zipping himself back up, he stood up, washed his hands, and splashed his face with freezing-cold water, pushing his hands back through his hair. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror above the sink, he couldn’t help smiling. He was one good-looking bastard. Was he really going to deny other women the chance to spend their time with him just because he couldn’t forget someone who really didn’t want him any more? Fuck that! He was Ryan frigging Fisher. And it was about time he remembered that, put all the crap of the past few months behind him and started over.
Reaching out to grab the towel from the heated rail, it slipped through his fingers, landing on top of the small white bin beside the sink. Crouching down to retrieve it he accidentally stepped on the pedal, flipping the lid open, and he was about to push it shut again when his eyes were drawn to something sticking out of the pile of make-up remover wipes and cotton-wool balls that were in there. It was something that someone had quite obviously tried to hide, and Ryan reached into the bin to pull it out, staring at the packet in his hand, blinking a couple of times as he tried to focus on what it was he was holding. And then he realised. It was a full, unopened and unused stack of contraceptive pills. Pills that belonged to Ellen, because her name was on the packet, right there in black and white. Unused contraceptive pills.
He sat back down on the closed toilet lid, his fingers gripping the pills tightly as a million and one thoughts raced around his head. But only one thought was shouting the loudest.
Chapter Twenty-One
‘Is everything alright, Amber, only… only, you seem to have been in a whole other place today. In fact, if I’m being honest here, I’d say you’ve been a bit distant for a couple of weeks now. Is there something you want to talk about? Is something wrong?’
Amber looked up slowly, her eyes meeting Jim’s. ‘No. Everything’s fine. It’s just been a busy few weeks, that’s all. And it’s been a long day today. That was a pretty stressful game tonight, you have to admit.’
Jim shrugged, leaning back against the chest of drawers and folding his arms. ‘It was a bit tense, at times. But I’ve got a great squad at Endleigh. They’re doing their job and they came through in the end. But I don’t want to talk about football any more. Not tonight, anyway.’
Amber shrugged off her shirt and threw it onto the bed, reaching out to take her robe from the back of the open bathroom door, but Jim gently grabbed her wrist, stopping her from taking it. She stared at him. ‘I’m practically naked here, Jim.’
‘And you think that bothers me?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘I’d really like a shower before bed. It’s late…’
‘I know what time it is, Amber. Baby, just talk to me, please. I’m your husband and I want you to be able to talk to me.’
Like he’d talked to her?
He let go of her wrist and she dropped her arm, leaning back against the wall. ‘I’m really tired, Jim.’
‘And that’s why Rico’s back in Newcastle for the next few days, is it? Because you’re tired?’
Her eyes locked onto his again as he stood in front of her. He was so heartbreakingly handsome, still dressed in dark suit pants and a white shirt, and she really didn’t want to do this tonight. All she wanted to do was lie in his arms, let him make love to her and fall asleep as he held her. She didn’t want to do this now.
‘Look, forget that shower.’ He moved closer, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. ‘I’ll run us a bath. And if you’re really tired then just let me do all the work, okay?’
She shivered slightly as he kissed her slowly, his fingers pushing her knickers ever so slightly down over her thighs. Just a touch, but it was one of the sexiest actions Amber had ever known. ‘Jim…’
‘Sshh. It can wait. Whatever it is, it can wait.’
She watched as he went into the bathroom and turned on the taps, sitting down on the edge of the bath as the water splashed out into the tub.
‘Is it something to do with me?’
Amber stared at him again, swallowing hard. ‘You said it could wait.’
‘Is it something to do with me?’
‘I love you, Jim.’
&n
bsp; ‘I know you do, baby, and I love you, too. So much that this is scaring me, but I don’t want to know what it is. Okay? Not yet. Whatever’s on your mind, honey, the details really can wait. I just need to know if it’s something to do with me.’
She held his gaze for a few more beats before she nodded slowly.
He hung his head briefly before standing up, walking over to her, pushing her back against the wall before she even had time to realise what was happening, kissing her so hard and with so much force it literally took her breath away. His fingers intertwined with hers above her head, their bodies so close it would have been impossible to get even the thinnest sliver of paper between them, and she could feel herself falling, deeper and deeper, faster and faster, even though she didn’t really know what was going on here. She just knew she wanted it; she wanted him.
‘Two minutes,’ he whispered, backing away from her, leaving her gasping for breath, and all she could do was close her eyes and bury her fingers in her hair as she tried to gain some composure. Some measure of calm. But it wasn’t coming. Not any time soon.
She kept her eyes closed as she felt him close to her again, felt his fingers trail down over her collarbone; she kept her eyes closed as she felt him strip what few clothes she still had on away from her body, every inch of her skin breaking out in a million tiny goosebumps with every brush of his fingers against her.
‘Look at me, Amber.’
She slowly opened her eyes, her fingers still entangled in her hair, her breath catching in her throat as she realised he was naked now, too. Tall, toned, and naked and ready to take her anywhere she needed to go. Oh, God, she loved this man so much. So, so much.
Her eyes locked with his, the intensity now flying around the room, making it almost claustrophobic, and she had to take the deepest of breaths before she could feel herself breathe anywhere near normally again.
It was crazy, what he was doing to her – what he’d always done to her. What he would continue to do to her, no matter what. It was all crazy, but she’d take crazy right now. She’d take all that and anything he was about to throw at her because all she could think about now was him.
Final Score Page 24
