‘He’s at home.’
‘On his own?’
‘Don’t start, Ryan. He’s with his new childminder. If you want to go and see him I’ll call her, tell her you’re coming over. Her name’s Allie, and she won’t take any of your crap, so be nice to her. Rico adores her.’
‘Your husband gonna be alright with that, is he? Me going over to your place?’
Amber’s eyes met his again, and Ryan wished with all his heart that they were back in Majorca. Because he’d felt as though he’d got through to her there. But here – here she was back to being the cold, distant Amber she’d started to become with him over the past few months. And he hated that. He didn’t want that.
‘Did you tell him?’
‘He fucking knows, Amber. Before I told him he already knew we’d had sex over there, I could tell. It was written all over his face. And you know that, too. He isn’t stupid.’
‘You’re making one hell of a mess even worse, do you know that?’
‘I don’t care. Because I’m desperate here, Amber. It’s killing me, watching the days go by and not knowing what you’re thinking… it’s fucking killing me.’
‘I can’t do this here.’
‘We need to talk.’
‘There’s nothing to talk about.’
‘Really? That’s what you think?’
‘They need you, Amber,’ Max said, and Amber almost breathed the biggest sigh of relief.
‘I’m coming.’ She looked at Ryan, and she cursed the fact that seeing him like this had just reopened those floodgates and let those waves of confusion and guilt surge forward all over again. ‘We’ll talk, Ryan. Just, not now.’
Ryan watched her walk back over to Ronnie and the photographer, his eyes focused on those super-sexy hips of hers. Hips he’d held onto not that long ago as he’d pushed inside her and remembered just why he couldn’t let her go.
‘I’d raise your eye level if I were you.’
He turned around to see Jim standing there, a stoic expression on his face and his stance one of a man who wasn’t about to be messed with.
‘She doesn’t deserve you,’ Ryan said, deliberately returning his gaze to Amber.
‘She doesn’t need a boy, Ryan. She needs a man.’
Ryan couldn’t help but let out a laugh. ‘Are you kidding me?’
‘I don’t kid. I never kid.’
‘Yeah. Okay.’
‘Shouldn’t you be packing?’
‘Do you know how childish you sound? We’re not kids in a playground fighting over the prettiest girl in school.’
‘Corey Reynolds, the owner of your new club, is not someone to be messed about with either. But I’m sure he knows what he’s letting himself in for.’
Ryan narrowed his eyes slightly. ‘What the hell are you talking about? Do you know Corey Reynolds?’
‘We go way back, Corey and I. He wanted me to come over and manage the team at one point, but it’s not for me. I’ve got no desire to go back to the States just yet. I’m happy here.’
Ryan said nothing for a second or two. ‘I don’t understand…’
‘Just giving you a heads-up, that’s all. When Max told me what side you’d signed for, well – I think you’re gonna fit in just fine over there.’
‘That’s enough, Jim,’ Max said, walking over. ‘I think your wife wants a word.’
‘Just remember what I said, okay?’ Jim fixed Ryan with one last look before he walked over to Amber.
‘What the hell was he talking about, Max? Did you know he knew Corey Reynolds? Did he…?’
‘Jim Allen has a lot of connections over in the States as well as over here, Ryan. That’s what makes him a bloody good man to be on the right side of. And not a particularly pleasant man to make an enemy of.’
‘Did he have anything to do with…?’
‘Stop being so paranoid. Go see that little man of yours. Go on.’
Ryan didn’t move for a second or two. He was too busy watching Amber, a stabbing pain piercing his heart as she stood up on tiptoes to kiss Jim’s mouth, her hand resting on his waist. Even after everything he’d told her, the first thing she did was kiss him.
‘Go and see Rico,’ Max said, his voice quiet, his hand giving Ryan’s shoulder an almost protective squeeze. ‘Go on.’
‘This isn’t over,’ he whispered, finally pulling himself away from the wall. ‘This isn’t fucking over.’
*
‘Was talking to Ryan just now really a good idea?’ Amber asked, absentmindedly playing with the collar of Jim’s shirt.
‘I’m scared, Amber.’
‘Of what?’ She looked around, making sure they were out of anyone else’s earshot.
‘Do I have to spell it out? Can’t you see what he’s trying to do?’
‘Confronting him isn’t the way to deal with it.’
‘So, what do you want me to do, Amber? Just let him get on with it? Stand by and watch as he lures you back into his bed…’
‘He isn’t “luring” me anywhere, Jim. And you’re starting to sound as childish as he is now.’
‘Are you finished here?’
‘In a bit. Why?’
Jim slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him, his mouth close to her ear as he spoke. ‘I want to fuck you.’
‘Here?’
He laughed quietly, letting his hand drop slightly so it rested on her hip. ‘Oh, believe me, baby, I don’t care where we do it. I just want to fuck you.’
‘Because telling Ryan how things stand has turned you on, is that it?’
‘Is that such a bad thing?’
‘Yes, actually.’
‘Then that isn’t the reason.’
She wriggled free of his grip. ‘This isn’t really the place for this conversation, Jim.’
He dug his hands into his pockets, lowering his gaze.
‘Are you doing this because Ryan’s still in the room?’ Amber said, stepping back slightly.
Jim just raised an eyebrow.
‘Because the time for playing games is over.’
‘I’m not playing games, Amber.’
It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. ‘It’s just that, as far as you and public displays of affection are concerned, they’re usually few and far between.’
He moved closer to her, sliding his hand down onto her bottom, his mouth close to hers as he spoke. ‘If I want to put my hand on my wife’s ass, it doesn’t matter where we are, baby, I’ll put my hand on my wife’s ass.’
‘Not if I don’t want it there you won’t. Move it. Now.’
He pulled it away, smiling. ‘Do you know how hot you are when you’re angry?’
‘Can you go now? Please?’
He slowly backed away, his hands in his pockets, that smile still on his face as he mouthed “I still want to fuck you.”
And, despite herself, Amber couldn’t help smiling too, shaking her head as he walked away.
‘You ever gonna grow out of this teenage phase?’
She turned to look at Ronnie. ‘And you and Hayley are, what? Already at the “married twenty years so we never kiss in public any more” stage?’
‘You’ve known him over twenty years,’ Ronnie said, looking in Jim’s direction as he stopped by the door to say something to Max. ‘I would have thought you’d be well past that stage yourself by now.’
‘I’ll never even reach that stage with him, Ronnie.’ Amber’s eyes stayed on Jim until he finally left the room.
‘So where does that leave Ryan?’
Her head shot around to stare at him. ‘What’s any of this got to do with Ryan?’
‘I don’t know. You tell me.’
‘I thought we’d agreed to drop this subject.’
‘Funny how everything seems to come back to him, though, isn’t it?’
She continued to stare at her best friend, wondering if shutting him out of everything as much as she had done had been such a good idea. Could he, maybe, have helped her make
some kind of sense of all this? If she’d just let him in.
‘What happened to you just wanting me to be happy, Ronnie?’
‘I still want that more than anything, Amber, believe me. To see you finally happy is all I want for you. But, right now, as far as you being happy is concerned, I don’t think you’re anywhere near it.’
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jim stood by the French doors, looking out onto the play area they’d created in part of their beautiful back garden. With swings and a sand pit, a climbing frame and a huge winding slide, it was full of things Rico was way too young to play with just yet, but they’d wanted to create a family garden from the start. Somewhere they could all enjoy and a place where memories would be made. But now there was a fear bubbling away inside of him; a fear that those memories would never be created. Rico might never get the chance to sit on that swing or play in that sand pit because he wouldn’t ever be here, because his mum wouldn’t be here.
It was a fear that wouldn’t go away now, and it scared him even more because Ryan was right. Jim had used all his ammunition. There was nothing left to fire, no winning shot that would make sure Amber stayed here. He was all out of ideas. But that didn’t mean Ryan had won.
Turning away from the window, Jim set his empty coffee mug down on the counter and headed back upstairs. It was still early, but he hadn’t been able to sleep and he hadn’t wanted to wake Amber or Rico. He could hear her voice now as he climbed the stairs. He could hear her talking to her baby son, and he had to stop on the landing for a second, just to breathe in deeply and say another silent prayer that this wouldn’t be the thing that finally swayed her. That beautiful baby wasn’t his, but he would love him as though he were and she knew that. He just had to hope that was enough and the pull of Rico’s real father being around twenty-four-seven wouldn’t be the winning argument in this situation.
Walking further along the landing, he stopped at the doorway to the nursery and leaned against the doorpost, watching as she stood at the window, talking to Rico, pointing outside and smiling at him as she held him close. His whole world stood just there; everything he’d ever wanted, even though he knew he’d probably realised this far too late. But she loved him, he knew she loved him. He just had to hope that, in the end, it was enough. Because he really wasn’t sure he was strong enough to cope with losing her; another woman he didn’t want to live without.
He let his mind wander back to last night. They’d been out together at a charity function organised by Cloud Sports. All eyes had been on them, every camera in that press line followed their every move. And she’d just oozed professionalism, even when the questions fired at her had been way too personal. She’d kept her arm tightly around his waist, holding onto him as though the world would end if she let him go, and he’d never felt more proud of her. More in love. She’d looked beautiful in a green jumpsuit and heels, that dark-red hair of hers loose and tousled, and he’d wanted the whole fucking world to know she was his. She was his. And nobody was taking her away from him. Nobody. Least of all Ryan Fisher.
Before that fear started rising again and before that anger returned, he walked back into their bedroom, opened the wardrobe and pulled out a small carry-on case. They needed to pack a few things for their visit to the north-east. It was the final weekend of the English football season, and Endleigh’s last match was, ironically, against Newcastle Red Star at Tynebridge. They were due to fly up there later that morning, giving them all a bit of time to relax before tomorrow’s match, although relaxing was the last thing on Jim’s mind. When Ryan Fisher was going to be so close to Amber – she was covering the match for Cloud Sports – how could Jim possibly relax? He knew what Ryan was trying to do; Ryan was making no secret of the fact he wanted her back. Jim knew Ryan was willing to fight just as hard as he was. How could he possibly relax?
‘Do you have to do that right now?’
He turned around to see her standing there, dressed in nothing but the shortest of nightdresses, that incredible body of hers almost all on show.
‘No. I don’t have to do it right now. Where’s Rico?’
‘He’s still a bit sleepy, so I’ve laid him down for a little while longer. He’ll let us know when he wants to wake up properly. I’m just grateful I’ve got a baby who likes his sleep.’
‘Let’s hope that doesn’t carry on into his teenage years, huh?’
Amber smiled, and Jim tried desperately to see if it had reached her eyes, to grab any kind of confirmation that she would actually still be here when Rico was a teenager. That they’d both still be here, with him. Living the life he wanted so badly.
‘Are you still flying up to Newcastle with me and the squad? Or…’
‘Both me and Ronnie are coming with all of you.’
‘Good. That’s good.’
‘What’s wrong, Jim?’
‘Nothing’s wrong.’
‘I keep asking the same question and you keep giving me the same answer.’
He looked at her, watching as she slowly pushed the straps of her nightdress down over her shoulders, her eyes never leaving his.
‘Maybe, if we make love first, you’ll feel more like talking to me?’
He swallowed hard as her nightdress fell to the floor, revealing that beautiful body of hers in all its naked glory. ‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ he whispered, his eyes focusing on her breasts as her breathing became a little heavier, his stomach turning those somersaults that made him feel like the teenager in love with the girl every guy in school wanted to date.
‘I love you, Jim. Have you got that yet?’
He raised his eyes to meet hers, holding her gaze for what felt like an eternity. ‘I know you love me, Amber. And I love you, too. Baby, I love you so much…’
‘Come here.’
He walked over to her, sliding an arm around her waist, pulling her naked body close to his, and he couldn’t stop the tears. He couldn’t stop them. He hadn’t even felt them coming until he’d touched her, but now they were streaming from his eyes and he couldn’t stop them.
‘We’re gonna be fine,’ she whispered, gently kissing those tears away, her fingers brushing his damp skin as her mouth touched his, briefly at first, but enough to make his stomach flip again, and that fear of losing her hit harder. ‘We’re gonna be okay.’
‘Are we? Amber, I really need to know… I want you to tell me…’
She shook her head, laying her fingers lightly over his lips. ‘No.’
‘Baby…’
‘I want you to make love to me, Jim. Right now, that’s all I want. I want to feel you touch me,’ She kissed him again, her mouth opening, her lips soft against his. ‘I want to feel you inside me.’
And there was no place he wanted to be more than inside her, touching her deeply, feeling those muscles of hers hold him tightly the way they always did, coaxing another killer climax right out of him. He wanted that, too. Oh, Jesus, did he want that!
‘I want to be your forever man, Amber. You know that, don’t you?’
She looked up at him with eyes that were wide and trusting; eyes that were screaming out how much she loved him, he could see that. And if he’d had any idea that she’d already called him her ‘forever man’ he would know how much hearing those words from him meant to her. But he didn’t know that. He just knew that he had to tell her everything he was feeling; he had to go against everything he’d ever been or tried to be. He had to lay himself bare and expose every fear because he wasn’t going to lose her. He wasn’t.
‘Make love to me, Jim.’
She was in his arms, her legs wrapped tightly around him before their mouths had even touched, the kiss growing deeper and harder as he carried her over to the bed, laying her gently down as he threw off his clothes. Everything felt different all of a sudden, as if Ryan Fisher had thrown down some kind of gauntlet and now he had no option left but to fight this battle to the end. And he would, if that’s what it was going to take. He’d fight so fuck
ing hard.
Her skin was soft beneath his fingers as he ran his hands up over her legs, stroking those incredible hips of hers. He needed her like an addict craved their next fix. He would never tire of this. Never tire of touching her, of pushing inside her and feeling her taking him so deep he felt as though he was falling; he would never tire of that. And as she pulled her legs up around him, his stomach flipped once more as he felt her push against him, all beautiful and wet and ready for him.
Slipping his fingers between hers, he raised her arms up above her head, gasping quietly as she arched her back, pushing those breasts out towards him, her hips bucking up to meet his. And he was inside her before he’d even had a chance to realise it was happening; their bodies joined together as one, the way it was always meant to be. Amber Sullivan and Jim Allen were always meant to happen. There was no other script, no second draft or brand-new edit of this life they should be living. Because they were always meant to happen.
So why was he still crying? As he pushed deeper into her, her fingers gripped his as he thrust slowly in and out of her, but why was he still crying? Why was this so emotionally painful it hurt so badly, like nothing he’d ever felt before? It hurt. So badly.
Her hips bucked up again, harder this time, taking him as deep as he could go, and his fingers tightened around hers as those muscles inside her gripped him like the strongest of vices. But she came first, crying out loud as she pushed herself against him, and he took it all, preparing for his own release, which happened just seconds later, a mixture of beautiful pain and heartbreaking sadness flooding through him as their bodies moved together, taking every last second they could from the moment.
His baby girl. His beautiful wife. His whole fucking world. And he’d never been so scared.
*
‘I didn’t know you were gonna be here,’ Ryan said, opening his front door to see Max standing there.
‘You really think I’m gonna stay away when your last game is against Endleigh United?’
‘It’s just another club, Max.’
‘Don’t do it, Ryan.’
Ryan closed the door and leaned back against it, staring at Max. ‘Don’t do what?’
Final Score Page 42
