They ate in silence until Kenzie couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “Papa, mayhap he’s seen the man.”
Loki gave him a sideways glance, then decided Fergus would probably hear about the purpose of their journey soon enough. “Fergus, you traveled around the area some during our big battle with the Buchans.” Without revealing the truth about the dreams, he asked. “Have you ever heard of the man of furs?”
Fergus thought for a moment, tossed another bone out of the cave. “Nay, not that I recall,” he said. “Why would you think I would know aught about him?”
Loki rolled his eyes. “You don’t think I’ve taken notice of all your requests to travel back to Buchan and Cameron land? I’m not sure what exactly draws you there, but there’s some reason a man who’s never liked to leave home has volunteered three or four times to patrol the area with the Grant guards. You wish to share your true purpose for this journey? I’m glad to have you along, but it does make me curious.”
“Mayhap I’m missing my mother. My brother’s never around anymore. He’s too busy living the happy life with Kyla.”
Rather than respond, Loki merely arched his brow.
Fergus heaved a sigh. “That does not sound the way I intended. I’m happy for my brother. Truly. But it all makes me unsettled. That’s the best word for it. I’m just restless.” He made a point not to look Loki in the eye.
Kenzie’s gaze jumped back and forth between the two men, waiting to see what would come next.
Mayhap he’d let it go…for now. But when Loki got up to head outside the cave to relieve himself, he couldn’t help but cast a parting remark over his shoulder. “I’ll find out who she is before we’re done.”
Kenzie broke into a fit of giggles.
* * *
A day later, the group arrived at the toll booths outside of Ayr. Once they paid the toll, Kenzie couldn’t contain his excitement. He bounced about in the saddle behind Loki. “Hurry, Papa. We must visit Woodgait. ‘Tis where we both lived.”
Fergus said, “I still cannot believe both of you lived alone when you were young, surviving out in the wild. I couldn’t have done it.”
“You’d be surprised what you can do when you have no choice,” Loki said as they rode through the streets. “‘Twas forced on both of us, just as it was on Gillie. And besides, ‘twas not the wild, Fergus. In fact, Kenzie and I will show you exactly where we lived.”
A short distance later, Kenzie shouted, “Over there.”
A rush of memories filled Loki’s mind as the familiarity of his surroundings wrapped around him as though welcoming him home. But he knew the truth of it well enough. Thanks to Brodie Grant, this was no longer his home.
He’d learned long ago that he had everything he needed—his clanmates, the beauty of the Highlands, and the love of his sweet Bella and their boys. Their son, Lucas, would never live in a cold crate behind an inn.
He pulled on the reins of his horse and held his hand up to indicate they were stopping. After releasing Kenzie, who quickly raced to the back of the inn, he climbed down and tied his horse’s lead to a branch on the closest tree. He hoped they wouldn’t find another living where the two of them had spent so much time cold, hungry, and alone.
When he caught up to Kenzie, Fergus directly behind him, they all stared at the ground littered with torn clothing. The same three crates Kenzie had kept in careful order were now haphazardly arranged.
“Papa?” Kenzie’s gaze took in the scattered mess in front of him, and Loki was sure they were thinking the same thing.
A grizzled older man came around the building, approaching the group. “You looking for the lad who lived back here?”
“Aye,” Kenzie said, glancing at his father for approval.
“There is a lad who has been living here?” Loki asked.
The innkeeper put his hands on his hips. “Was. There was a lad who’d been living here.”
“Can you tell us more?”
The innkeeper brushed his hands together as if sending crumbs to the floor. He stared at the ground for a moment before he lifted his head to answer their question. “The poor lad became gravely ill. A man came along a couple of days ago and took the lad with him. I did not know the man, but he said he only intended to heal the boy.”
“The man with furs! It must have been him! Was it not?” Kenzie had difficulty staying in one spot, instead darting from one place to another as he took in every detail of the area behind the inn.
“Aye,” the innkeeper answered. “‘Twas the man who visits once a year. Never here long, but he spreads hope among the young scamps. What know you of him?”
“Verra little,” Loki answered. “But we are seeking the man who is covered with furs. Do you know where he was headed?”
“Aye. He left a couple of days ago, said he would take the lad to Doongait to see if he could heal him. If not, he said he would take him home, though he never said where that would be.”
“Our thanks.” He nodded to the innkeeper, who turned about, shaking his head, and returned to the warmth of his inn. “Mount up, lad,” he said to Kenzie. “We’re headed to Doongait. Be quick now.”
Loki couldn’t be more pleased. If the man of furs was still in Ayr, they’d surely find him. He didn’t want to tell Kenzie, but he’d had another dream the night before in the cave. The man in the furs had appeared and said to hurry.
He had no idea what that meant, but he thought it best to heed the man’s word.
* * *
Fergus took his time, patrolling and scanning all of Ayr to see if he could be fortunate enough to locate the woman of his dreams, but to no avail.
It didn’t matter. He was a patient man. He’d find her if it took the entire year.
Part of him had wished to confide in Loki. And yet…he knew how he would sound to others. They would think him a lovesick fool, incapable of looking at the situation objectively.
But he was. Aye, Davina of Buchan was a beautiful woman, but it wasn’t simply her beauty that had turned his head. The lass had faced tragedy after tragedy and survived. Her strength humbled him, and he could think of no other woman he’d prefer as his partner.
Still, there was no denying they’d only had one encounter—a meeting at Lochluin Abbey that had soaked down to his very soul. He’d never told anyone about it. How could he explain how badly it had made him want her?
He’d gone back to the abbey, only to learn she’d left a short time ago. The nuns had no knowledge of where she’d gone. She’d only told them she was getting a cottage of her own, somewhere close to “home.” Ayr was close to Buchan land, was it not? Surely someone would remember her if she’d passed through. She was so beautiful, so unique…
Of course, if he did find her, there was still the question of whether his clan would accept her. Her background was troubled, to say the least, and her father and former lover had forced her to play a key role in their attempted trick on Torrian Ramsay.
But people could change. He’d just have to convince everyone it was possible. She’d been handed one of the worst possible scenarios, but mayhap all of that was in the past. Mayhap it was time for both of them to find a wee bit of happiness. There was an innate goodness in her that had never been allowed to bloom, and he wished more than anything to help her cultivate it.
He wasn’t going back without her.
* * *
As they rode to Doongait, Loki said a quick prayer that they would find the man in furs forthwith. He had to get home to Bella.
As soon as they arrived in Doongait, they made their way to the nicest inn, the one the Grants frequented whenever they traveled in the burgh. They settled the horses in the town stable, out of the wind, but as soon as Loki stepped outside into the fresh air, he froze.
There he was—the man in the furs. He stood not fifty paces away from him, hunched over next to a small, shivering bairn. Kenzie caught sight of him a few seconds after Loki did, and the look of horror on the wee lad’s face sent a chill down Lok
i’s spine. The strangest thing about him was they could not see his face. His hood of furs obscured his looks, just as it had in the dreams.
“I see him. Papa, ‘tis the man in my dreams.” Kenzie’s shaking finger came up slowly to point to the man.
The man in furs lifted his hand to wave at them, as if he understood why they were there. Could he?
Fergus crept up behind them, whispering, “Is he the one?”
“Aye,” Loki said. “Wait here, and I’ll speak with him.”
“May I come, Papa?” Kenzie asked.
Loki gave him a wave, indicating for him to follow along, only because he refused to take his eyes off this vision that had haunted his dreams for so long. They moved across the road together, and Loki found his steps slowing, as if he were afraid to discover the truth. How could he and Kenzie both have had dreams about this person they’d never met? He’d never been on Grant land, so they couldn’t have encountered him there.
When they reached the man in furs’ side, he finally dropped his hood.
He reached down to pat Kenzie’s head and whispered, “Greetings, Kenzie.”
Kenzie didn’t speak, instead staring at him in awe.
“We meet again, lad.”
Chapter Five
Loki held the door for the old man, peering at the wee one by the man’s side. He spoke to the innkeeper, who led them to a small private dining chamber with a table for six and a warm hearth.
Loki handed the man a coin and said, “Meat pies and ale for all, and some goat’s milk for the wee one if you have it.” The urchin was a lass, gaunt and still shivering, who looked no older than two summers. She never spoke, just stared at them with dark circles under her eyes.
When the innkeeper left, he turned to the man in furs, as yet unnamed.
“How do you know my name?” Kenzie blurted out.
The man settled in the chair closest to the hearth, lifting the wee lass onto his lap and covering her with his furs to warm her. He lowered his hood again, revealing chubby cheeks and a full beard of a mixture of white and gray whiskers. Wrinkles covered his skin where it was visible, and his kind eyes were a shade of gray unlike anything Loki had ever seen before.
Once they were all seated, the man replied, “I had hoped to see you again someday. We met, och, mayhap two summers ago. You were a new one in the land of orphans, and I offered to take you home with me, just as I’ll do with this wee one on my lap.”
“But I don’t remember you,” Kenzie declared, clearly frustrated by this piece of news.
“Who are you?” Loki asked.
Fergus stood abruptly, interrupting them. “I’ll search the area, make sure we’re safe here for the night. Then I’ll find a place for the guards to stay.”
Loki nodded, then waved him off.
“I go by many names,” the man in the furs said, “but you may call me Bor. I travel to save the wee ones. ‘Tis how I met Kenzie here. He took the death of his parents hard. I invited him to stay with me, but he refused. ‘Twas his choice, but I wished him well.”
“Bor…” Kenzie began. “But I do not ever remember speaking with you.”
Loki put his hand on the lad’s shoulder. “Sometimes when pain is fresh, it prevents aught from settling in your mind. You may have met him immediately after you lost your parents. The mind protects itself in odd ways.” At least, he was fairly certain that was the reason he couldn’t remember why his name was Loki. He’d blocked it out for some reason.
With a twinkle in his eye, Bor nodded. “I accept it if you do not remember me. We’re all here together now.”
“There was a lad who lived behind the inn in Woodgait, the same place my papa and I once lived,” Kenzie said. “Where is he? They said he was ill.”
Bor shook his head. “He is back at my cottage, healing. The cold, damp conditions were too much for him, and he was quite sick. I’m heading that direction on the morrow. I wish to get wee Ami back before it’s too late for her. She needs heat.”
“Ami is her name?” Loki asked. The lass was as cute as any young lass could be, though she lacked the fat needed to survive the harsh winters in their land.
As if on cue, the wee lass climbed off of Bor’s lap and stepped cautiously over to Kenzie, tugging on his hand. “Does she not speak?” Kenzie asked, as he hauled the wee bairn up onto his lap.
“Nay, but she is only around two summers old. Her full name is Amice. You’re young, lad. She seeks your heat, the heat that I can only give her with my furs. Wrap your arms around her to warm her.”
“Where did she come from? She’s too young to lose her mother,” Loki said.
“I found her at the kirk. She’d wandered in and settled on one of the benches. I know not how the priest knew her name, but he did. All he could tell me was that she was English and her parents were gone.”
Kenzie warmed Ami as best he could, wrapping his arms around her. She cuddled next to him, stuck her thumb in her mouth and closed her eyes.
Not long after, the innkeeper came in with a tray of meat pies along with a sweet-smelling broth full of root vegetables, goblets of ale, and goat’s milk for sweet Ami. Before he left, he said, “Your sleeping chambers are ready for you, my lord.” Loki thanked him and advised him they’d find him when they were ready to bed down for the night.
They all ate heartily, especially Ami, who took a special liking to the warm broth. She stayed seated between Loki and Kenzie on a tall stool the innkeeper brought in, occasionally offering them all a warm smile. Once they finished the meal, Bor looked at Kenzie and said, “I sense you have more questions for me, lad. Go ahead and I’ll answer what I’m able.”
Kenzie glanced at Loki, who nodded, encouraging him to ask his questions. Mayhap the end of their journey was already upon them, although Loki doubted it would be this easy.
He was certain of one thing. This was the man in his dreams.
Kenzie struggled to find words, but he finally met the man’s eyes and said, “I have had dreams about a man in furs. Are you that man?”
Bor chuckled. “Son, there are many men who travel covered in furs this time of year. We do not all don plaids as the Highlanders do. I am an older man, so I must do my best to keep warm.”
“How many years are you, Bor?”
He chuckled. “I don’t know if I can answer that, to be honest. I believe I’ve lost count.”
“How many years have you been searching for orphans? And where do you go?” Loki interjected. He wanted more information from the man.
“Mostly I travel to the royal burghs—Edinburgh and Ayr are the cities where I find the most orphans, though I have also traveled to Glasgow on occasion. Some are not orphans at all, but were dropped at the markets in Edinburgh because their parents had too many mouths to feed. They leave the eldest ones, or the ones who can help them the least.
“I can hold up to fifteen orphans. Bestla is my dear wife. There are other women who assist her with the others, especially when I leave on my journeys. The older children must learn to help, too. Basically, when I lose a few, I search for more. They grow up and move on.”
Kenzie looked more confused than ever. “So did you come to me in my dreams? I do not understand any of it,” he huffed out.
Loki knew exactly how his son felt. Why had the man told them to hurry? Why would he have come to the two of them at all?
“Kenzie, people who have dreams like that often have them because they are confused. Are you confused about something?”
Kenzie glanced at Loki again, and Loki nodded. It was time for him to tell all. “I loved my mama and papa verra much, but they died from the fever.” His eyes misted so he swiped at them roughly. “Then I lived behind the inn and I was always cold and hungry. Now I have a new mama and papa.”
“Why would you leave your new clan at this time of the year? The winter solstice is almost upon us. Don’t you all celebrate with mid-winter feasts and merriment?”
“Aye, and I did not wish to come because
Mama’s about to have a new babe, and I’m worried I’ll miss Aunt Maddie’s giant banquet of food, and Grandpapa and Grandmama are at our keep and I love them. But is it wrong to love them and my true parents and Loki and Bella all together? Would my sire be angry with me if he knew I’d traveled to live with another?” He wiped a hand over his forehead as if exhausted by all the thoughts running through his head. “The man in furs came to me and he, nay, you told me to bring my papa to Ayr, but I don’t understand why, and Grandmama said something that confuses me even more.”
“What did she tell you?”
“She said that the more love you give, the more you will receive.”
“And you don’t understand that?”
“Nay. How do you receive love? They all give to me—food and clothes and hugs and a slinger and friends—and I don’t know how to give love back. What if they change their mind and want me to go away…” The tears erupted in full at his last comment.
“That will never happen,” Loki said firmly. “We all love you, Kenzie. We would never let you leave unless you were grown and wished to go somewhere else. Then it would be your choice.”
“Kenzie, I think you should visit my cottage,” Bor said. “Come and see the bairns I have living with me. Mayhap it will answer some questions you have.”
“May we go, Papa? I want to see the lad who lived in our spot.”
“Where is your cottage, Bor?”
“Closer to Edinburgh. If we leave early, we shall be there by high sun.”
* * *
In the middle of the night. Loki bolted up from his bed, wondering where he was. Once he recalled their plight, he rubbed his eyes to get the sleep from them.
The man in the furs had returned in his dream again, but this time his hood had hidden his entire face.
“Why do you not ask the man?” the hooded figure asked. “Just come out and ask him what you wish to know.”
Loki's Christmas Story Page 3
