I know I probably shouldn’t meddle, but I feel the need to. “Are you and Sarah okay?”
Ethan smiles hesitantly. “Yes, of course. I just think this whole baby thing has put a strain on our relationship. I’m sure once we know we’re going to have a baby, things will settle down. I just want to make Sarah happy. I know she hasn’t been for a long time, which makes me unhappy. That’s why I said this was the happiest I have felt in a long time. I really want to thank you for that.” Ethan’s words bring tears to my eyes. He reaches across the table for my hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I shake my head and sniffle. “No, it’s okay. I just really hope I don’t disappoint either of you.”
Ethan looks at me, brows furrowed. “How could you ever disappoint us? Whether or not this works, what you’re offering is the most selfless, kind act imaginable. No matter what, I could never be disappointed.” He smiles warmly.
“Thank you.”
He chuckles. “It should be me thanking you.”
With pride in my heart, I lift my coffee cup. “To new beginnings.”
Ethan does the same. “To new beginnings.”
I walk through the door, startled to see Kyle standing there. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you. Why did you just walk out on me like that?”
I sigh as I drop my gym bag and head upstairs. “I think you can tell where I’ve been.”
I hear Kyle following me. “Your yoga class finished well over an hour ago. Where have you been?”
As I walk into our bedroom, I swing around to him. “I bumped into Ethan at the gym. He bought me a coffee and we talked about what happened last night.”
When I see the anger in his eyes, I know another fight is brewing. “You had no right to go behind my back.”
I narrow my eyes. “I didn’t go behind your back. I—”
“You know he wants to fuck you.”
I gasp. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not letting anyone else fuck my wife.”
My eyes widen. “You don’t seriously think I would consider that, do you? Are you nuts? There are other ways to get pregnant without sex being involved.”
Kyle’s nostrils flare. “Have you asked him?”
“Asked him what?”
He breathes deeply, the muscle in his jaw starting to tick. “How he wants to do this.” He inches forward, circling me without touching. I know what’s coming. “Did you ask him if he wants to rip your clothes off and fuck you senseless?”
Tears spring to my eyes. “Kyle, please…”
He grabs my breast before diving down toward the waistband of my yoga pants. Sliding his hand in, he forcibly pushes one finger inside me. I yelp at the intrusion. “Did he tell you he wanted to put his dick inside you and pound your pussy until it was sore? Did he tell you he wanted to come inside you? Make you scream?”
I shake my head and gasp again as he pushes his finger in farther. “Kyle, you’re being unreasonable. You know it’s not like that. Ethan’s a doctor. He would only want to do this clinically.”
Kyle’s breathing quickens, showing me he’s angry and turned on at the same time. That’s not a good mix, but it’s something I’ve seen too much of lately. “I see the way he looks at you. He wants to fuck you. Knowing that turns me on, but he can’t have you. No way am I going to allow anyone to fuck what’s mine.”
I shake my head again. “It won’t be like that. I swear. I only want to do this so Sarah and Ethan can have a proper family.”
Kyle pulls his finger out of me, then pulls my pants down. “Whose wife are you?”
I try to get free, but he holds me in place. “There’s no need for this.”
He turns me around and forces me to bend over the bed. “Whose wife are you, Alice? Who do you belong to?” I hear him pull down his zipper.
“You, Kyle. I belong to you.”
He forces his way in hard, making me gasp. I’m not ready, but I never am with Kyle. It hurts every time he enters me.
“That’s right, baby. Mmm, you’re so fucking tight.”
He starts pounding into me, grunting and panting as he grips my hips. I make my mind go blank. Nothing about this feels good. I feel used, but I take it like the diligent wife I am. I know he will be nice and caring afterward. He always is.
“Jesus, Alice. You’re seriously the best fucking pussy ever. You make me come so hard. No one else can make me come as hard as you. No one.”
I ignore the references to his other sexual encounters. I know Kyle was experienced before he met me, but he told me I was special because I lost my virginity to him. He promised me flowers, romance, marriage, kids. At first, it was romantic, but he eventually stopped caring about my happiness. After a while, everything just stopped.
“Fuck, baby. I’m going to come. I’m going to fucking mark you. You feel so fucking good. I could fuck you all day. Shit, Alice!” He stills as he releases himself into me.
Once his breathing calms, he caresses my back so tenderly, you would never believe he’s capable of making me feel so bad inside. As I hang my head, Kyle pulls himself out, grabs me, and pulls me onto the bed with him. He spoons me, gently placing kisses on my shoulder.
“I missed this last night. I missed coming to bed with you and making love to you. That was one of the best make-up sessions we’ve ever had. I’m going to need you again in a bit. I just need to work myself up for the next round. You know it’s never long. Is it, sweetheart?”
I sigh, but shake my head. I need to give him what he wants to get him on my side about the baby thing. I know if I don’t give in, he will make things difficult for me.
After a few minutes have passed and his breathing has calmed a little, he pulls my top up. “You are the sexiest thing alive. Do you realise that?” He grabs my breast, kneading and pulling at my nipple until I hiss. “You like that, baby? Shit, your breasts seem to get bigger every time I touch them. So fucking perfect.” He pulls one nipple into his mouth and begins sucking painfully. As I cry out, Kyle pulls away and climbs on top of me.
“The sounds you make get me so fucking excited. I can’t get enough of you, baby. You’re just too good.” He enters me again with a hard thrust and arches his back. “Fuck!”
He begins pounding faster and harder. Every time I cry out, he gets more and more worked up. “You’re so wet with my come. It makes you so warm and tight. Fucking best feeling in the world.”
When he starts going faster, I know he’s close. Thankfully, it never lasts too long. “You’re going to make me come again already. Fuck!” He roars out again and pounds into me one last time before he slumps on top of me. “Jesus, baby. It never seems to stop getting better with you.” He lifts his head and kisses me tenderly on the lips. “I definitely made the right decision marrying you. You’re the best wife anyone could ever wish for.”
When he kisses me again, I see the old Kyle. The one who loved me and cherished me. The one who made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Over the years, that man has turned into a selfish person. If I had known this side of him from the beginning, I doubt I would be here right now.
Chapter Three
When Wednesday rolls around, I feel more positive. After some persuasion, I finally start winning Kyle over to the idea of me becoming a surrogate. I act like the total devoted wife, and things seem to be better. He’s more attentive and caring, even before lovemaking. He constantly tells me how sexy and beautiful I am—which, for the first time in a long time, has me smiling. He’s more demanding with how often we have sex, but I know he’ll be putty in my hands afterward.
I wave to my co-workers, Sally and Henry, as I walk out of the building. Working at an insurance firm, we’ve been swamped with work after the flood last week. Luckily, today is a little quieter, so I manage to get out to meet Sarah for lunch. After Friday night, I’ve been nervous about seeing her, but also a little excited about the prospect of her being happy again. I really hope I can do
this for her.
As I near the café on the corner, I spot Sarah through the window. Because of the stress of trying for a baby, she doesn’t work at the moment, but with Ethan being a doctor, she doesn’t have to. In one sense, I’m a little jealous of her having all this free time. At the same time, I need a purpose. If I didn’t work, I think I would end up finding a hobby, such as writing. I smile at the thought as I open the door. Sarah looks up and smiles, standing to kiss both my cheeks.
“Alice, how are you? I bet crazy since the flood. I suppose we have to count ourselves lucky that we live on a hill.”
We laugh. The side of Cornwall we live in is rather hilly. It’s the type of place that looks beautiful in all kinds of weather. Of course, I prefer the sun, but I love the way the hills take on a radiant shade of green once the rain hits.
“Yes, we were lucky, but the town below us? Not so much. I’ve had to deal with over a hundred claims since last week.”
Sarah looks out the window. “Luckily, today is beautiful. That always helps clear things up.”
After we order our drinks, I watch her a moment. She looks tired. Her flowing, vibrant blonde hair is a little lank today, and her eyes are dark and sullen.
I clear my throat. “Speaking of clearing things up, have you managed to speak with Ethan?”
Sarah sighs, then turns to me with a small smile. “You really want to do this for us?” When I nod, tears immediately spring to her eyes.
I reach out and grab her hand. “Please, don’t cry. I never meant to make you cry.”
Sarah shakes her head, sniffling. “It’s not that. It’s just... You’ve always been like that. Always looked out for everyone else before yourself. I never know whether to hug or slap you for it.” When my eyes widen, she laughs. “I didn’t mean it to sound nasty. I just always thought people would take advantage, walk all over you.”
I frown. “I would never do this for just anyone, Sarah.”
She nods with another sniffle. “I know. We’ve been best friends for how long now?”
“Eighteen years.”
Her eyes widen. “Eighteen years?” I nod. “Look how far we’ve come. Just think. If it hadn’t been for that mix-up at the cab firm, things could have been very different.”
I think back to that night eight years ago. Both Sarah and I had booked separate cabs to go meet our blind dates. I was supposed to meet Ethan, and Sarah was supposed to meet Kyle, but the cab drivers got our names mixed up. Once we got to our respective restaurants, we realised the mistake, but carried on with our dates. I hit it off with Kyle, just as Sarah did with Ethan. The rest, as they say, is history.
“You’re right, but fate lent a helping hand.”
She smiles, looking off into the distance. “It certainly did.” Her face falls as she snaps her head back to me. “Why are you doing this?” she blurts out.
I frown. “What do you mean?”
Sarah leans forward. “I know you, Alice. I know you want a baby just as much as we do. Why not have one of your own? Why do this for us?”
I see the pain in her eyes and know why. I’ve always known why. “Kyle isn’t ready to start a family yet. You are. It just seems like perfect timing. Once you have your family started, maybe Kyle and I can start our own. At the moment, my eggs are free.” I start laughing, causing Sarah to bust out in giggles.
“I’m laughing, but nothing about this is funny. You’re willing to sacrifice a lot, but I don’t think it’s right to ask you.”
I lean forward to grab her hand. “You have been waiting for the day you can hold your baby in your arms, haven’t you?” She nods. “Let me help you get there. I’m more than willing. I swear to you, I want to do this. You’re like a sister to me. You know I’d do anything to see you happy again.”
Sarah starts sniffling, fanning her eyes with her hands. “Don’t make me cry again. You’ll ruin my make-up.” She laughs through the tears.
I think this is the first time in a long time I have heard her genuinely laugh. It feels like old times. We haven’t been able to laugh out loud like this in a long time.
“So, what are you going to get to eat? I can’t talk about this baby stuff with you anymore. You’ll have me balling like a baby...and that really isn’t a pretty sight. Believe me.”
I chuckle. “Okay. I think I’m ready to order.”
Once the waitress comes with our drinks, we place our orders. When I see the clouds gathering, I stifle a groan. “I hope this doesn’t mean another bad winter. I can’t stand the cold and the rain.”
Sarah shivers. “Me, either. I do like snuggling up in front of the fire, though. That obviously has its merits.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“Ah, nights in front of the fire sound nice.”
Sarah frowns. “Don’t you guys do that?”
I laugh. “Our nights involve a lot of rough sex with little else.”
“Nothing wrong with a bit of rough sex, but I get what you mean. No candy and flowers with Kyle then?”
I tap my fingers against my coffee mug. “He can be sweet when he wants to be. I think he’s a sex addict, though.”
Sarah almost spills her coffee. “Come again?”
I snort. “Kyle... I think he’s got a sex problem. He wants it all the time!”
Sarah laughs loudly. “My god, girl. That just goes to show how much he wants you. You should be thankful he’s like that after all these years together.”
I nod, having heard the same from Kyle. “I know.” I sigh. “I’m a lucky girl.”
I think about what she said about nights in front of the fire. I would love to laze in front of a roaring fire, Kyle and I feeding each other, snuggling up close, appreciating one another before making love.
“So, what plans do you have this weekend?” Sarah snaps me out of my daydream.
I think about it for a moment, my heart sinking. “Kyle wants to go visit his mum and dad on Sunday.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh, that old witch. I’m so lucky I don’t have to deal with a mother-in-law.” She blows out some air, then looks at me. “Kyle is lucky in that respect, too.” At my expression, her face softens a little. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
I nod. “I know. Don’t worry about it.”
When I was eight, my mum died of cancer. Two years later, my father passed after a heart attack. To this day, I think it was from a broken heart. It cut him badly when my mother died. So much so, my aunt practically raised me as he disintegrated into a man who had lost all hope. It was heartbreaking for me. I had not only lost my mother that day, but I’d also lost my father. When I found out he had died, it came as no shock. I didn’t grieve as much as I thought I would because, deep down, I had accepted he had died long before he did.
Thinking about those times fills me with sadness. Right now, I want to try and insert a little happiness into our conversation.
“What about you and Ethan? Got any plans?”
She rolls her eyes just as the sandwiches come, the waitress smiling before walking away. “Ethan wants to visit his sister in Plymouth for the weekend so he can see his nephews. They’re always so happy every time he visits. That’s the only reason I agreed to go. His sister hates me, but I have no idea why.”
I frown. “Have you tried to talk to her about it?”
Sarah takes a bite of her sandwich and chews, swallowing before replying. “She’s scary as fuck.” I start laughing, Sarah joining in. “I’m serious. Trying to talk to her is like trying to have a conversation with Hitler. In fact, I think I would have a better conversation with him. Still, Ethan has fun with the kids. For that amount of time, at least we’re not talking about a family of our own.”
I think about that for a second. “Do you feel pressured?”
Sarah chews her lip. “Yes…and no. It’s hard to explain.” She suddenly straightens. “Anyway, enough about babies. I get plenty of that at home. I want to talk about Paris.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Paris?”<
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Sarah virtually bounces up and down in her seat. “Ethan is planning on taking me to Paris. We’re going to stay at one of the most exclusive hotels there. Considering we’ve had such a hard time lately, he wants to spoil me. He really knows how to treat a lady.” She smiles, giving me a wink.
I’m happy for her, but I’m also a little jealous. The farthest Kyle and I have ever been on holiday was when we went up north to the Highlands of Scotland. It was beautiful up there, but I sometimes crave that spontaneity, and Paris would definitely be that for me.
“Sounds wonderful.”
Sarah nods. “I can’t wait. A whole weekend of food, wine, shopping, and sex. I’m so over all this eating healthy and no drinking shit. I’m just going to let my hair down for once, and Ethan will let me this time. He’s definitely a doctor. His constant fussing is a bloody nightmare at times.”
I try not to let that grate on me, but it does. “He just cares. That’s all. He wants what’s best for both of you. He’ll make a great dad.”
Sarah nods and sips her coffee. “Yeah, I know he will. I think I just feel relieved now that the pressure is off me. I know that’s no comfort to you, though.”
Smiling, I swallow a bite of my sandwich. “It’s a good pressure.”
She looks sad for a moment. “It was for me for a while, too, but then it all got to be too much when nothing happened. All the tests showed Ethan was okay, so it was me. It was always me.”
I lean over and grab Sarah’s hand again. “Please, don’t get upset. As you say, the pressure is now off you. Let me and Ethan do all the work for a change. You just sit, wait, and be a little unhealthy for once. Drink that wine and eat that food you say you couldn’t consume for a while. Just have a bit of fun.”
Sarah beams at me, tears in her eyes. “You’re such a good friend. Do you know that? I don’t know what I would do without you.”
I sink back in my chair, getting emotional. “It’s what I’m here for, isn’t it? Besides, who else could I get to play Sleeping Beauty with?” I raise my eyebrow at her as she laughs.
A Surrogate Love Affair Page 2
