“I’m sorry.”
“What did I tell you about that?”
“Not to apologize all the time, but I should be allowed to for what I said.” He acknowledged her statement but didn’t speak, so she went on. “I was out of line. I’m the submissive,” Lisette almost choked on “the” rather than “your” but persevered. “It’s my duty to serve you in whatever manner you command and to allow you to do your part when the scene was done. I’m tired, and I was being a brat.”
“Apology accepted. Would you like me to punish you?”
Why does he keep doing that? He must know how much I hate having to make the decision myself. His motive then became crystal clear. Oh. Damn, he’s good. Even Doms who were in the lifestyle for years didn’t always get that mind fuck right. The way Ryan seemed to just “get” so many things about BDSM and her needs within it made her practically pant for the man.
“Please use your girl as you see fit, sir.”
“We have the room for another couple of hours. Get back on the bondage table, on your stomach. Assuming you’re not in too much pain from the wax to lie on your belly?”
“I’m okay, sir.” Lisette hurried to do as he bade, feeling like the worst submissive on the planet. Without speaking, he used the controls on the table to separate the bottom half, pulling her legs apart.
Touching her ankle, he said, “I’m going to restrain you. Can I use a cuff on that ankle, or do you want it free?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Arms over your head.” Each instruction was terse, and she wondered what was going on inside his head. He wasn’t refusing to play with her or end the scene, but she had no clue where his head was at and felt at a distinct disadvantage. No doubt that’s exactly what Ryan wanted. She’d underestimated him, again. Clearly he’d done a lot of research and knew what his various roles were within a scene. Lisette figured she should’ve known he’d be adamant about aftercare.
He moved over to the bureau and soon returned with a blindfold and several other items, which he dumped on the side table next to them. The blindfold promptly took away her sight. He then ran his hand down each arm to her cuffed wrist to check them. With that task completed, he kept his fingertips on her and moved down to her ankles, repeating the safety measure. She had no clue what he was planning.
Soon she heard him pick up an item from the side table. He kept one hand on her and then used his fingers to open her swollen pussy lips. Ryan checked her for wetness and, apparently satisfied she was ready, pushed something small into her pussy. Then she heard the telltale snick of lube being opened and applied to something, and her ass clenched.
A dark chuckle reached her. “Very good, girl. Yes, your ass is about to be invaded.”
Even knowing that didn’t stop her from jerking in her bonds when a slick finger pushed into her ass and was soon joined by another and then a third.
“Relax, take a deep breath, and push out.”
Her brow furrowed as a hard object was inserted. As it got wider, she took in a fast breath but then forced herself to let it out and push against the foreign object as he’d instructed her to. It soon became apparent it was some kind of plug, and not a small one.
“Color?”
“Green, sir.”
“This is a punishment, but of course your safe word applies at all times.”
“Yes, sir.” Master Taz had never allowed her to use her safe word during punishments, and unbidden tears gathered behind the blindfold. Lisette had never thought she’d be so grateful for a strip of fabric. She didn’t want him to see her fall apart simply from the small gesture he’d just made. Stripped raw, she waited for him to do something.
He ran both hands up the insides of her thighs. “I’m going to eat you. This is for my pleasure, not yours, because I enjoy your taste. You do not have permission to come. If you’re a good girl and take your punishment well, I may allow it later. Is that understood, sub?”
Her pussy clenched. “Yes, sir.” She had a love-hate relationship with orgasm denial. It wasn’t one of the things she was good at, and Master Taz had punished her on many occasions when she’d come without permission. But on the other side of the coin, being unable to come without permission from Ryan called to something deep within her.
Lisette’s entire body froze when the object inside her pussy began to vibrate, and she swore to herself. Yeah, this was definitely a punishment. As she forced herself to unclench, one limb at a time, while Ryan remained silent and still between her legs, one hand splayed on her ass, she noticed how the large plug was beginning to make her tissues throb, and not in an entirely good way. The pleasure-pain from the combination of the toys in her pussy and buttocks was going to kill her. Then he leaned down and licked. A cry worked free from her, and Ryan uttered a tsk. “Am I going to have to gag you?”
“No, sir. I’ll be good.”
She sensed his body shifting and realized he must’ve gone to his knees, putting his face level with her spread-open pussy. Ryan used his fingers to play with her labia and clit as his tongue and mouth drove her to insanity.
Oh God, definitely a punishment. I can’t take this. I can’t do this.
But she had to. She didn’t want to disappoint him by failing.
Ryan was working her hard now, using lips, teeth, and tongue to drive her to the edge and then pulling back just a little before starting again. Lisette’s teeth were clenched so hard they clacked together violently when he started using short thrusts of the tip of his tongue on her distended, aching clit. It took every ounce of willpower she had not to beg him to let her come.
His mouth stopped its exquisite torture, and she panted, frantically processing the myriad sensations. He let her alone for a moment and then returned, starting the process all over again. Her mouth opened, and there was no inner strength in the world that could’ve stopped the scream. Ryan stopped again as soon as the sound left her mouth as she fought every cell in her body not to release.
Soon he was in front of the table, up by her head. “Color, girl?”
“Green, sir.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, sir. I’m just not…good at this kind of punishment.”
“Huh. And here I thought you’d been doing exceptionally well.”
She wasn’t sure what to make of the note of humor in his voice. Ryan moved again, and she felt dizzy from trying to follow him around the table while she was blindfolded. The thing in her pussy ratcheted up another notch.
“Come, sub.”
Ryan fastened his mouth to her pussy as she threw her head back as much as was possible given her restraints. The orgasm felt like it was ripped out of her, and she shook, rattling the cuffs, as the waves of pleasure went on and on. He worked her through it and then turned off the evil toy lodged deep within her. Soon the plug was also removed, along with the cuffs, and he was picking her up.
He settled them on the couch. “I’m going to remove the blindfold. Take your time opening your eyes.”
Lisette slowly blinked them open and found him looking down at her with a half grin.
“Not a really bad punishment, right?”
All she could do was groan, and his grin widened until it took over his face. He was tightly holding her naked body, and she reached one hand up to stroke the side of his face, hoping to hell he didn’t reject her. “Thank you, sir.”
“Let’s get a blanket around you. You must be cold.”
“Not a bit, sir, but if it would make you happy…”
“Ah, you’re learning.”
“I hope so, sir.”
“So am I. And I don’t want to learn with anyone but you, just like I don’t want to date anyone but you.” His gaze slid away before returning to hers. “I’m not ready for contracts and stuff, but I like the way this is going. Do you?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. How are you feeling?”
Lisette snorted. “Oh, not bad, you know, no biggie.”
“Cheeky.”
“Y
es, sir.”
“Excellent thing for you I like cheeky. And both sets of your cheeks.”
“With all due respect, you totally are a goof, sir.” Lisette shifted, and it was then she noticed his hard-on. “Sir, allow me to take care of you? Of this?”
“I won’t argue.”
With a grin she slid off his lap and proceeded to do just that.
* * * *
On Saturday, as per usual on the day after they did a scene, Ryan called Lisette to check up on her.
“Hello?”
“Lisette? You sound a million miles away.”
“Mmm. I guess I’m just not feeling well today.”
That got his attention. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t really know. Maybe I have a cold. I can’t get warm.”
She paused, and he waited her out.
“And I miss you. Was I good last night? I hope so.”
Her voice was small, and Ryan’s eyebrows furled. “Of course you were, baby.” It felt a little strange to call her by a pet name, but it seemed like the right thing to do in light of the current conversation. It was obvious Lisette needed some form of comforting or validation. Why, he had no idea. Ryan racked his brain, trying to figure out if there was any point last night where she might’ve thought he was truly unhappy or dissatisfied with her. Nothing came to mind.
“Okay.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“No, don’t. You have work to do.”
Ryan didn’t like the way she sounded at all. “Work can wait. I’m coming over.” He hung up before she could argue, and on his way to Lisette’s house he called Jack.
“Hey man, you guys have a good time after we left?”
“Yeah, a great time, I think, but I called Lisette this morning, and she said she didn’t feel well. Then she started saying all this weird stuff I’ve never heard from her before.”
“Like what?”
“Was I happy with her? That I shouldn’t worry about her…that she hoped she was good last night.”
“Hmm,” his friend replied. “That sounds like classic subdrop talk to me. That was a pretty intense scene last night.”
“And then some stuff happened after you guys left too.” Ryan knew how guilty he sounded, but Jack seemed to take it in stride.
“Here, talk to Callie. She’s been through subdrop and might be able to help you identify if that’s the problem. Then I’ll come back on the line and tell you how to deal with it. Ryan, man, don’t freak out. This happens. Just make sure you take care of her. Even if she isn’t truly yours, you’re responsible for her well-being right now.”
Callie came onto the line. “Hi, Ryan. What’s this about Lisette?”
“She sounded strange when I called her this morning. Said she thought she might be getting sick. But then she started in with whether or not she pleased me last night, and then told me I had important stuff to do and I shouldn’t worry about her. She sounded really…” His lips pursed as he searched for the right word. “Disconnected or something.”
“Yeah, Jack’s right. That sounds like subdrop. I’ll give you back to Jack. He’s gone through the same thing with me a couple of times. He can help. And don’t hesitate to call us back if you feel overwhelmed or need more help. Okay?”
“Thanks, Callie.”
Jack came back on. “Okay, here’s what you do for subdrop.”
“Hang on. Let me pull over. I want to get to her, but I don’t want to miss anything important either.”
His friend waited until Ryan signaled him to continue. “The first thing you have to understand is that this is normal,” Jack said. “You didn’t do anything wrong; at least, nothing that I saw. Second, subdrop is not a rational thing. It has to do with the hormone levels in the sub’s body and a ton of other things. So you just do whatever she tells you she needs or your best guess at what she needs if she can’t or won’t tell you.”
“Okay, I can try that.”
“Dealing with subdrop is a lot like dealing with people with depression or anxiety. Your best option is to be there for the sub and mitigate any reactions she’s having. Like Callie said, don’t feel like you have to do this alone. Call us if you need to.”
“Thanks, bud.” Ryan hung up and swung back onto the road, his head full of the information Jack had given him. Despite all his research, he’d never heard of subdrop, but it wasn’t all that strange that someone who’d had all those endorphins and adrenaline coursing through her would be feeling it the next day.
When he got to Lisette’s house, a small cottage-style ranch, he rang the doorbell. No one answered, so he started pounding. Despite what Jack had said, Ryan was pretty freaked out, and Lisette not coming to the door was only making it worse. Finally she answered the door, and then just blinked and stood aside as if in shock as he shouldered his way in.
Ryan did the first thing he could think of. He pulled her into a tight hug and then gave her a kiss, ignoring her old pajamas and mussed hair. For once he let her lead the kiss to see what would happen, and when she didn’t respond, he pulled away and picked her up.
Lisette squeaked. “Put me down. I’ll hurt you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me. Where’s your bedroom? I want the comforter from your bed.”
Wordlessly she pointed down the hall. He stalked there with her tightly wrapped in his arms, unwilling to leave her alone even for a moment. Setting her down gently next to him, he pulled the thick, fluffy comforter off her bed and quickly threw it in the general direction of the couch in the living room. Then he hauled her up again and took her there too.
Ryan set her down in the middle of the couch, helped her lie down, and tucked the comforter around her before crouching near her head. He took her face in his hands. “Baby, I think you’re going through subdrop. Has anything like this ever happened to you before?” He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to tell her that’s what he thought was happening, but all Lisette did in response was shrug.
“I dunno. But I feel bad you came all the way over here. It’s probably just a sniffle.”
“You let me be the judge of how I should use my time. Have you eaten? Had anything to drink?” It was already nearly noon, and he shook his head when she admitted she hadn’t. “Do you drink coffee? Hot chocolate? Tea?”
“Anything is fine, but you really don’t have to fuss over me.”
If this had been during a scene, he would’ve been seriously considering spanking her for the topping from the bottom, but this wasn’t a scene. Right now she was a woman who needed some old-fashioned attention and affection. It wasn’t a hardship to give it to her.
“You stay right here. I’m going to go see what you have in the house.”
After taking a quick stock of the contents of her pantry, he brought her a big cup of cocoa, complete with marshmallows and a candy cane he’d found in a bowl on the counter, plus a plate of cookies. It was the best he could do for comfort food, and he hoped it would make her better.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I want you to eat and drink some of this, and I’m going to make us both some lunch.” She began to argue, and he forestalled her. “I don’t want to hear anything about me not doing this. Aftercare is my job, and I’m happy to do it.” He picked up a cookie and looked at her. “Dunked or undunked?” She gave an exasperated little sigh that he tried not to take to heart.
“I’m not a child.”
He handed her the cookie. “Then eat them. I’ll be back.”
“Can you cook?”
He laughed. “If I couldn’t, I’d be starving right now, baby. Besides, I’m not getting crazy. I was thinking of soup and grilled cheese.”
“That’s what my mom makes me when I don’t feel good.”
“It should be perfect, then.” Pointing to the plate again, Ryan repeated, “Eat,” and then went back into the kitchen. He heard the telltale crunch of a cookie being bitten into and was surprised how relieved he felt. As Ryan moved arou
nd Lisette’s kitchen, finding all the necessary ingredients for their lunch, he felt his heart rate slow. Now that he knew what was happening and how to handle it, even though he was sure Jack had only given him the basics, he felt so much better.
He’d just turned her grilled cheese over in the pan when he stopped dead. At some point over the past month, Lisette had become increasingly important to him. But as what? A submissive? A girlfriend? Something else? Could you even put a label on it? He’d found BDSM didn’t fit into a neat little box. There were so many variations and ways to do things, it seemed like a person just went with whatever worked for him.
After bringing her food into the living room, he was pleased to see she’d eaten two of the cookies. When his own lunch was prepared, he joined her. “Want to watch a movie?”
“Um, sure.”
“Do you have a favorite you like to watch over and over, or should we look for one through the television?”
Lisette squirmed. “You wouldn’t like any of the ones I’d want to watch.”
“Try me.” Purposefully he rose and opened the doors of the small media cabinet underneath her television set. “Hmm.”
“See? They’re stupid.”
Ryan had to suppress his first reaction and instead responded, “No, they’re not. Look. You’ve got Ocean’s Eleven. That’s one of my favorite movies. And Home for the Holidays? Have you watched that one lately? It’s hilarious and certainly timely. Robert Downey Jr. steals that movie, as usual.”
“You like Home for the Holidays?”
“It’s one of my favorite movies.” And one he watched year-round, but he didn’t tell her that for some reason. “Let’s watch that. We can snuggle, have some more food, more hot chocolate… That sounds like a great way to spend a cold day to me.” And it did, especially with Lisette all wrapped up with him.
She looked doubtful. “Don’t you have things to do? Plus, I’m a mess.”
“I want to be here with you, and I don’t care what you look like. You women are way too hard on yourselves.”
“But”—she motioned toward him—“look at you. You’re showered; you’re dressed; you’re wearing cologne.”
“I always wear cologne, and I figured I’d try not to scare the neighbors by running around my house naked.” That got a little smile to peek out.
Master Class Page 10
