After dinner, she helped him upstairs to their apartment, excusing herself from dinner cleanup with Gordon shooing her out.
As soon as they were in the room, she layered the pillows and fluffed them up for him to lie down. She turned on the fireplace and set the heat timer for sixty minutes.
He lay down, and she sat on the bed next to him. He was quiet for a little while, and she broke the silence.
“It frightens me that they picked you up between Calexico and Yuma. It sounds like they must have taken you to the same place where I was.”
Lucas looked at her. “Don’t be frightened. I’m here.”
“Why do you think they let you go?”
“Because no one knows where you are. No one. Not the Marshals Service, not my partner. No one. If they kill me, they will never find you.”
She just looked at him, looking back and forth in his eyes. She swallowed hard.
“I wonder which one of us it will be?” she asked.
“Which one of us?”
“Will they ultimately get frustrated and kill you, or…?”
“As long as I’m alive, you’re alive. If I’m dead, you’re alive. If they kill you, they will kill me, too, because they will no longer need me. So, my safest bet is to keep you alive,” he said, taking her hand and smiling.
She continued to look at him. She wanted to blurt out about the baby, but she had thought it through over and over. Now was not the time. She didn’t know when, if ever, would be the right time. But she knew that it wouldn’t be now, and she might be able to keep it from him for several months. It depended on how observant he was, or how much he was around. That was more the uncertainty. She didn’t know what he was thinking or what his plans were.
He lay back and looked up at the ceiling. “There’s a little bag over there with my meds. They tell me that it’s best that I keep taking them around the clock for a while to keep the pain under control. I’m already overdue.”
She found them and brought him one each of three pills along with a glass of water.
“Two for pain, and one is an antibiotic. Standard procedure I guess when you’ve had a foreign object make its trajectory through your body.”
She climbed onto the bed beside him, kissing his neck and squeezing his arm.
“I’m sorry,” she said, a tear dropping down her face. “I’m sorry you have to go through so much pain for me.”
He tousled her hair. “You were a pain in my ass; now you’re a pain in my shoulder,” he said, drawing her to him and kissing her ardently.
He lay back again and sighed. “I’m afraid it will be a while before I can give you more than that.”
“Oh, baby,” she said. “I’m just glad to have you beside me.”
He fell asleep holding her hand.
35
As his pain meds were wearing off in the night, Lucas awoke. He lay there listening to Audra’s even breathing.
Ethan! He felt like his heart was tearing in two—half with hope and love, the other half with terror. What would he be like? Who had been raising him for three years? What influences had he had? Lucas wondered if he would recognize him. He had always looked so much like his mother, but he knew that children’s features often changed rapidly.
In the next moment, he was struck with even more terror. How could he possibly exchange one for the other? He had his love for Ethan on the backburner; it had been more of a deep longing and a sorrow than anything he actively knew as love. His love for Audra was so fresh, new, and excruciatingly tender, and it filled him so much. But obviously he couldn’t just forget Ethan.
Before he could have sacrificed himself to protect Audra, but doing so now would mean abandoning Ethan as well. No solution would present itself no matter how hard he thought. It seemed unsolvable.
He got up slowly, standing and steadying himself. She stirred.
“Lucas?”
“I’m just getting my meds,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” she said, sitting up. “You should have woken me.”
“It’s okay.” He downed the pills and came back to the bed. He was anxious for the oblivion of the medication. He pulled her to him and wrapped himself around her as best he could.
# # #
“Jerry, I need to borrow your vehicle.”
“You sold my vehicle, remember? And I didn’t even get the Rubicon.”
“Oh. What were you driving the other day?”
“That’s my jeep,” Gordon piped up.
“Okay, then. Gordon, I need to borrow your vehicle.”
“How do you think you’re going to drive?”
“Slowly.”
“Can I take you somewhere?”
“I just need to check in with my partner,” Lucas said.
“So, can I take you somewhere?”
“I’d really rather go by myself.”
“Why don’t you let me drive?” Audra offered.
That frightened him even more, knowing what he was about to do.
“Look, I just need to make a goddamned phone call. I don’t need a chaperone.”
Everybody just looked at him.
“Testy, testy,” Jerry said. “You’re still too much under the influence, bro. No way is anybody letting you drive out of here.”
Lucas turned on his heel and walked out into the dome. Audra followed him. “Won’t you let me drive you?”
“No. I don’t want you leaving this compound till there’s a helicopter on the ground to take us to Phoenix.”
She wanted to protest further but thought better of it.
# # #
That night, he got up when he knew for sure that Audra was sleeping. He retrieved the number from his jacket pocket and slipped it into his jeans pocket. He had waited until the meds wore off so he would be at least halfway clear-headed.
He slipped out under the blanket hanging in the door and padded silently down the concrete steps. He stopped, listening to the night sounds of the automated systems in the dome. He was confident he was the only one awake.
He slipped out a side door and out under the night sky. He caught his breath at the sight of a billion stars overhead. The moon either wasn’t up yet or had already set, he wasn’t sure which. He got out his cell phone and stood, swaying like a drunk, looking at it. Of course he had no service out here. He would have to take one of the vehicles.
As he turned to go back into the complex, he heard a low growl. How could I have forgotten? The dogs would let him out, but they wouldn’t let him back in without Gordon’s signal.
Lucky for Lucas, Gordon slept with one eye open. He was out the door in a shot, calling off the dogs.
“Roberts?”
“Yeah.”
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m not sure. I need to make a phone call.”
Gordon realized Lucas was disoriented. He took him by the arm and walked him back through the complex and up to their apartment. He opened the blanket and Audra was sitting on the side of the bed. She jumped up and rushed to them.
“Found this boy wandering outside. Get him to bed. When he gets up in the morning, I’ll take him somewhere he can make his phone call.”
Audra nodded and led Lucas back to bed.
# # #
The next morning, Lucas and Gordon left the complex and headed out towards the air base. Lucas kept watching his phone, and as soon as he had a signal, he stopped Gordon. He got out and walked a considerable way from the vehicle and punched in the number from the paper.
“Roberts?” the voice answered.
“It is.”
“You ready to make the exchange?”
“You name the time and place a week from now, and I’ll arrange it. But I need to know you’re not bullshitting me about Ethan.”
There was a sound as though someone was covering the phone’s speaker. Then, a small, tentative voice came on.
“Dad?”
“Ethan!” Tears sprung to Lucas’s eyes. “Oh, my god, E
than. Are you okay? Are they hurting you?”
“No, dad. I’m okay.”
Suddenly Lucas had no clue what to say.
“Ethan, do you remember your mother’s name?”
“Uh-h-h-h, y-yeah, dad. Elena.”
Relief washed over him. “I’m coming to get you next week, Ethan.”
“Is that enough for you, Roberts?” Michaelson was back on the line.
“Yes. I’ll bring the girl.”
“See that you do.” The call disconnected.
Lucas walked back and got into the Jeep with Gordon.
“You don’t look so good, buddy,” Gordon said. “You okay?”
“I will be,” he said. “I will be.”
36
After a few days, Lucas was gaining more mobility in his arm, and he began to wean himself off of the pain medication. He felt better physically, but his mind felt like a spinning top. No matter how much he tried to reason out a solution regarding the exchange, he could not. Dead end scenarios simply whirled around and around in his mind. At last he had no choice but to bring others in on it. He decided to talk to Jerry first.
“Wait, wait, wait! So you’re telling me Ethan is alive?” Jerry asked after hearing Lucas’s story.
“That’s what I’m telling you. And they want me to exchange Audra for him.”
“You can’t do that.”
“I know I can’t do that. But what am I going to do? I can’t just say, ‘Oh, no, sorry, this is my job. I don’t care about my kid.’”
“Nor can you say, ‘Oh, no, sorry, this is my kid, I don’t care about the witness.’”
“Well, I could, but I think you know that she’s more than a witness to me. At this point it would be like someone asking me to exchange Elena for Ethan. It’s just not possible.”
“So, you don’t think they know the ramifications of all of this for you?”
“I thought they did because Michaelson inferred that he knew about Audra’s and my relationship. But I think they would have worked out a different deal knowing that.”
Jerry shrugged. “What different deal? They have what you want; you have what they want.”
“Except that I want both.”
“How sure are you that this kid is actually Ethan?”
“I talked to him. He knew his mother’s name.”
“It wouldn’t be that difficult to tell him what to say.”
“But what else do I have to go on? What could I request that would prove it one way or the other?”
“Wait. You buried the body, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Can’t you have the body exhumed and DNA tested?”
“That could take weeks to get all the court orders I need for that, and in the meantime, what do I tell them…I’m trying to make a decision whether or not to turn their witness over to the cartel?”
“No, buddy. You just tell them you have reason to believe your son is alive, but you need proof as to whether the child you buried is Ethan.”
“But I’ve arranged the exchange for two days from now.”
Jerry’s eyes grew big. “What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t. I’ve been on pain meds, remember?”
They talked for a long time, exploring several scenarios but not coming up with anything that might actually protect all of them.
Finally, Jerry heaved a sigh and said, “I think your only solution right now is to tell Audra that you are going to make a ruse of the exchange and let us back you up.”
“How do you plan to back me up?” asked Lucas.
“I don’t know yet. I have to talk to Gordon.”
“I wish someone could just go rescue my kid without all of this other bullshit.”
“This ‘other bullshit’ being putting your and Audra’s lives on the line?” said Jerry.
“Exactly.”
“Our most careful planning could go awry, or maybe they would just shoot us all on sight. I don’t trust any of them about anything.”
“As well you shouldn’t.”
“But what can I do?” asked Lucas.
“I think we’re back to square one, buddy. I don’t know what to tell you.”
# # #
Lucas just left the dome and started walking. He walked in a straight line until he began to tire. The dome hadn’t been in sight for quite some time when he stopped, and he simply dropped down and sat cross-legged on the ground.
He was surprised to find that he had a cell signal. He didn’t know how good it would be or how long it would last, but he would use the window he had.
He pressed to repeat call the number Michaelson had given him.
“I want to postpone the exchange for two to three weeks.”
“Why?” Michaelson asked.
“Why not? What’s the hurry? Blanco’s under lock and key, not going anywhere, and the Grand Jury won’t meet for another month yet.”
“I don’t like that you’re stalling.”
“I don’t like that you’re pushing.”
“Hey, I simply asked you to call me when you were ready to deal. You made the call.”
“Okay, so I’m no longer ready.”
“You’re going to try to pull something.”
“Why would I? You’ve got my kid.”
“Which is why I wonder why you don’t want to be reunited as quickly as possible.”
“It’s complicated,” Lucas said.
“It’s not. You bring us the girl; we give you the kid. End of story.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, Michaelson, I’m injured. I can’t really drive, and I’m quite a ways from the exchange spot.”
“Have the girl drive.”
“I want to be stronger. I’m still on pain meds. I’d like to think I was at least able to make a rational decision if I’m going to do this.”
There was a few seconds of silence, and Lucas thought the call had dropped.
“Okay. Two weeks. That’s it. Don’t call me again. Same time, same place exactly two weeks from the original date and time.”
“Done,” Lucas said. The call disconnected.
The next call he placed to the chief.
“I know you don’t owe me anything,” Lucas said, “but it would be a whole lot simpler if I could get some support. I need something rushed--given the highest priority--and I don’t know anyone other than you who could do it.”
“I’m listening,” the chief said.
Lucas told him about Ethan. He didn’t mention Michaelson; he simply cited one of Blanco’s men, which Michaelson clearly was.
“Two weeks? It could take two weeks to get the exhumation order alone.”
“I understand that, but that’s the timeline I’m on. I’ve already asked for more time once, and the caller said I could no longer use the number he had given me originally, so I have no way to contact him again. I have to figure that it’s a disposable cell. I’m just asking you to do what you can do with a great sense of urgency.”
“Call me back in ten days and I’ll tell you where we are.”
“Fair enough,” Lucas replied.
37
Ten days later, all the chief could tell him was that the exhumation had been done, and a DNA sample had been taken and sent to forensics. No news beyond that.
“Roberts,” he said, “why are they telling you about Ethan? What do they want?”
“Money.”
“Money? I doubt that. Cartels don’t extort ransoms from parents. And why now? Why not three years ago? There’s something else they want.”
Before Lucas could protest further, the chief continued.
“Jesus Christ, Roberts. They want you to exchange the girl for your son, don’t they? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that before?”
Lucas couldn’t respond.
“Just don’t do anything stupid. Don’t promise anyone anything. I’ll get back with you in two days.”
“I’ll have to call you. You can’t reach me where I am.”
“Fine. Call me in the afternoon two days from now.”
# # #
Lucas could hear strain and upset in the chief’s voice as soon as he answered.
“I’ve got good news,” he began, “which is bad news, and then I’ve got a lot worse news.”
“Shoot,” Lucas said.
The chief cleared his throat. “First, the boy they are holding is not your son.”
Lucas’s heart beat a little faster, and he felt a millisecond of elation until he realized what that meant.
“Of course,” the chief said, “that means that the child in the grave is Ethan.”
The news struck him with fresh sorrow, as if he were receiving the news of his son’s death for the very first time.
“I…I can’t imagine,” Lucas faltered, “what news could be worse?”
“Blanco escaped during a transfer between two facilities. The Federales were besieged, leaving four of them dead.”
Lucas closed his eyes. Months of work--the deaths of Bill Taylor and Fetsko, the ordeal over Ethan, his own wounding--all for nothing.
“Are you still there, Roberts?”
“Yes.”
“The other thing I have to tell you is that they want Audra in Phoenix to give her deposition before the Grand Jury next Tuesday.”
“What time?” Lucas asked, numbly.
“You need to have her there by 8 a.m.”
“She’ll be there,” Lucas said.
# # #
Lucas and Audra departed the complex early Monday afternoon. Audra drove since Lucas still didn’t have full mobility. They drove to Kingman, stopping before dark. They rented a sedan, leaving Gordon’s jeep at the rental company, then checked into a motel for the night.
It was still dark when they left Kingman the next morning just before five o’clock. Audra was on the frontage road, just pulling onto Highway 93.
“So why is it again that I’m going now to give deposition if he’s not even in custody?” she asked.
“He’s still under arrest even though he’s a fugitive. They want to continue with the deposition so they can…Jesus! Is that guy going to stop?”
Audra looked out her window to see headlights bearing down on them.
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