They finished up with tiramisu and coffee. She had gone to the restroom and combed her hair down around her face which she loved so much. He was surprised and pleased, and it felt good to be herself again…at least as much as she could.
They walked up one side of the village and down the other. The majority of the shops were closed, but the windows were all tantalizing enough that she wanted to come back.
By the time they departed Bremerton to return to Seattle, he took her hand to lead her out to the outside deck this time. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, but she didn’t pull away.
However, when he tried to kiss her, she demurred. She put her head down and then slowly raised it toward him again.
“Sorry,” he said. “You’re just so…incredibly beautiful. You intoxicate me.”
Very seductive words, she thought. However, she saw no mal-intent on his part. She simply wasn’t ready. Not ready at all.
49
Lucas called the next morning at eight, making an appointment to see the apartment at ten. He paced his room for a while then realized he could have breakfast while he waited. He made his way to the café and greeted the same woman who had served him the night before.
“You must work long shifts,” he said.
“I do, but not twelve hours. Sometimes I work the early shift, sometimes the later one. It just depends.”
He had a wonderful breakfast of eggs, sausages, and waffles with real maple syrup. Did that even happen anymore? he wondered. He began to feel like this little town was surreal.
He had found the place and was walking up to the door precisely at ten. The woman showed him the apartment, and he took it on the spot. It was like a converted hay loft, with a full kitchen, an airtight woodstove, a soft bed, and a place to sit and watch TV. There was even an old stereo with some LPs and 45s. He couldn’t believe it.
He had checked out of the hotel before he left, telling himself he was going to take the apartment no matter what…as long as it wasn’t rat infested. But, he was pleased with himself and pleased with his surroundings. The view of the Trinities out his bedroom window had been the whipped cream on his sundae.
The owner had pointed him to the wood pile and told him to help himself, so the first thing he did after signing the lease was to trudge out with the wheelbarrow to fill it with firewood. He smiled as he made a couple of trips up and down the stairs to bring the wood into the apartment and stack it into the log holder. This is going to be very good for me. Maybe they will even let me help chop and split the wood. I could use the exercise to benefit my mind, as well as my muscles.
When he had put away his things, he took his truck back into town to the grocery store. It was mind-boggling to him that such a small store could carry such a variety of good stuff and stay in business. But, he supposed, Weaverville was the hub for several smaller, nearby communities, and he doubted that they drove to Redding all that often.
He got back to his place and sat down on the couch, putting his feet up onto the coffee table and reaching for the TV remote. He would soon think about finding work to keep him sane, but for now, he was going to enjoy himself.
# # #
Audra started her new job on schedule. She adored her boss, Ms. Drummond, and she was learning so much. Far beyond just handling the sketches and CAD, Ms. Drummond took her with her everywhere, introducing her as her new assistant and making Audra privy to how everything worked—from planning meetings to budgets to drawings to working with vendors. Audra felt very lucky that her boss was treating her more as an apprentice than simply an assistant. This was far more valuable experience than she dreamed possible in her first ever job.
# # #
Winter turned to Spring, and Audra came into work one morning to see everyone standing in Ms. Drummond’s office pointing off to the east and talking animatedly.
“The Mountain’s out!” someone said to her.
She had no idea what they were talking about until she got up to the window and saw the pink rays of the rising sun on the most glorious site she had ever seen—Mt. Rainier in the distance. A blue-veined frosted cone bathed in a pink glow, with the lesser Cascades in blue surrounding it and making it appear as though it were floating in the air.
She looked around her at her animated co-workers. Everyone was so excited, and she realized that the first siting of the season must be a cause for celebration. When Neil called her to tell her, she officially recognized it as a major event in the lives of Seattleites. Funny, she thought. I’m one of them now.
“Can you take the afternoon off?” he inquired. “I’d love to take you to Point Defiance Park in Tacoma.”
“I really can’t, Neil,” she said. “How about this weekend?”
“I think you’ll find most of your co-workers missing this afternoon,” he said. “These breaks in the weather are an excuse to get outside. Employers practically expect it.”
“We’ll see,” she said.
“Since you aren’t aware of the tradition,” her boss told her, “the first day like this, we just close to a skeleton crew, and I don’t intend to allow you to be part of the skeleton,” she said. “Put aside whatever you’re working on and go.”
She called Neil back by ten and acquiesced. “You were right,” she said.
He picked her up at 10:30, took her home to change, and they were on their way before noon.
“There are so many places I want to take you,” he said, “I want to do it all at once. I want you to experience everything. I could take you somewhere different every weekend.”
She had had plenty of experiences in the last months, only a few of them positive. Neil promised to change all of that.
“Your sister would be pissed that you’re monopolizing all of my time,” she said, smiling.
“We’ll bring her along…sometimes,” he said, reaching over and resting his hand on her leg.
Her relationship with Neil was different. With John, they had just grown up together, developed affection for each other, and fell into having sex because everyone else was doing the same. With Neil, she enjoyed his company so very much, but they were taking it slowly…mostly because she insisted on doing so. She knew he was eager for more, much more, but he could be patient. She felt like a prize which he worked hard to obtain. Sometimes that seemed silly; other times it seemed most fitting. She was gaining new respect for herself, and it was nice to have a man’s respect, as well. Of course, having grown up with Mother McCreary, there was no doubt that each of her boys would be quite respectful to their women.
All of this logic would come to her mind, but then she would be suddenly struck with a deep, dark desire and passion. Unfortunately, that passion had nothing to do with Neil and everything to do with Lucas.
It was easy to see that a relationship with Neil could be successful. But when she thought it completely through, she felt as though her past had created in her something profoundly primal. She told herself that she could quash that part for Neil, but she wasn’t entirely sure that was true.
She knew what it was, in part. Somehow she felt like Neil would treat her like the Madonna, the Queen of Heaven. As appealing as that sounded, she knew his family upbringing also meant he would want children. Perhaps lots of them. She thought back to Christmas Eve, and as wholesome and idyllic as that all seemed, she just wasn’t sure it was what she wanted.
Most women would think she was insane, but then she wasn’t most women. She was marked in a way that no semblance of new life could ever completely erase. Despite all of her therapy, she wondered if consequences wouldn’t erupt somewhere down the road. Not that Neil couldn’t handle it and help her, but what if it happened after she’d had a couple of kids and a couple of bouts of post-partum depression?
She realized she was letting her imagination run away with her, but she couldn’t deny reality either.
As the days went on, she allowed there to be more space between answering his phone calls and making dates. Every time she was with h
im was exciting and memorable. These were memories she would long cherish. But he was becoming impatient, and she kept distancing herself.
“I wish I could wake up next to you,” he said once, “to see you all fresh without your pink lipstick and mascara.”
She laughed. “I don’t think ‘fresh’ would be the word for it.”
“Well, then, I’d just love to wake up next to you.”
The moment of truth. How much longer could she keep playing it? She felt like he would think she was toying with him if she kept it up.
She tried just giving him a wide grin, but he wasn’t buying it this time. “Elise,” he asked, “why are you pushing me away?”
“I…I’m not.”
“You are. I don’t get it. We like each other so much and have such a great time together. You are so beautiful, and I want you.”
Now, she just looked down at her hands which were in her lap.
“Neil, I….”
“Someone has hurt you terribly. Deeply, haven’t they?”
She looked out her window for a moment then looked back. “Yes, but not in the way you likely think.”
He looked alarmed and took her hand in his.
“Were you…were you…?”
“I’m not going to fill in the blank for you, but probably whatever you can imagine would not be it.”
His look went from alarm to puzzlement and concern.
“I have no illusions that friendship is all you want or all that you would be satisfied with. But when I think things through to their logical conclusion, that’s where the disconnect begins for me. I was raised as an only child, and being with your entire family completely overwhelms me. As lovely as they all are, I find it nerve-wracking.”
“That’s why you were sick on Christmas Eve.”
“Partly.”
“So, you would ditch me because of my family?”
She turned to look at him full on. “We’re from two entirely different worlds, Neil. I lied to Joy and to you. I have no family. My parents are dead. All of my family is dead.”
He had no words.
“Elise….”
She looked away from him. “I don’t have it in me to make you happy, Neil.”
“But you make me happy now.”
“That’s because there’s nothing required of me more than enjoying your company and absorbing all the wonderment you bring. But, believe me. We’re too different. I couldn’t adjust to your family life, and I certainly wouldn’t ask or expect you to adjust to my solitary one.”
“It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me,” he said a bit abruptly. “I’d just like to be intimate with you.”
Now, she was embarrassed for having implied more than he apparently intended. She had let her imagination run away with her.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I should never have said that. That was a reaction, and nothing could be further from the truth. If I were just any guy, I could have said that to save face and been done with it. But I can’t do that. I think of us in a life together all the time.”
“And does that life involve children?”
“Can you not have children?”
“Oh, there’s nothing wrong in that department. But I don’t know that I want children.”
“You say you ‘don’t know.’ That means you might consider it someday?”
“It would be highly disingenuous of me to give you any hope that I might reconsider. That could lead to disastrous relationship consequences.”
Now he looked away from her, obviously frustrated.
The conversation took place from the parking lot of the hotel above Snoqualmie Falls.
“Did you know this was the lodge that people thought of as the Twin Peaks Lodge?”
“You mean the TV series?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve never watched it.”
“You’ve never seen--? Oh, my God. You must! We’ll have to put that on our list of things to do.”
“Meaning I’ll be alone with you in a dark room for hours?”
He looked at her quickly to see whether she was serious, but she was giving him a half-smile.
“Not such a good idea?”
She didn’t reply.
50
Lucas had so enjoyed the robust work of cutting, hauling, chopping, and splitting wood over the winter, so he hired out as a handyman’s helper. He hadn’t realized how much he enjoyed physical work. It made him feel a slight pang again when he realized that something like that was what Elena had wanted him to do rather than stay in the Marshals Service.
Of course, one thought led to another, and he began thinking about Audra. Not that Audra was ever very far from his thoughts. He found himself wondering intensely what her new life was like. Was she happy? Had she forgotten me? He doubted the latter, but he was afraid that he would just become a dim and difficult memory for her.
Their time together had been so brief, so intense, so fraught with fear and duplicity. On one hand, it seemed foolish to even hope for a continued relationship, but on the other, he couldn’t imagine not ever having her in his life. Even with his new life here in the Trinities, he went places and had opportunities to meet nice, country girls, but he truly had no desire. When it came to desire, he could think only of Audra.
Lucas was sleeping when his phone rang. He reached out to turn off his alarm but realized that wasn’t it. He finally found his phone and squinted at the display. It was an Arizona number, but not one he recognized.
“Roberts? Chief Thomas here. Fetsko’s dead.”
“What?” Lucas asked, trying to clear his head. “Why? How?”
There were a few seconds of silence. “He was killed execution-style. Whoever did it wanted us to think the cartel did it. But I have my doubts.”
“Michaelson?”
“Michaelson was never apprehended. Fetsko was the only one besides you that had the goods on him, so I can’t help but think it was him. But there’s something else.”
“Go ahead.”
“Somebody hacked into the WITSEC files last night and viewed Audra’s file.”
Lucas tried to process what the chief was telling him.
“I’m going to break protocol here, Roberts. I truly think you’re the only one who can protect Audra. It’s insane. I know we should just let the U.S. Marshals Service handle it, but this whole thing has been bungled so often and so badly, that I’m telling you. With Fetsko dead, and even with Michaelson on the lam, I still think there’s something rotten higher up, or maybe even outside our agency, like FBI or CIA.”
Now Lucas was sitting on the side of his bed giving the chief his full attention.
“Where is she?”
“She’s in Seattle.”
“Seattle?” Thank god she wasn’t on the other side of the U.S. He could be in Seattle in 9 or 10 hours.
“Yes.”
“What else can you tell me? Seattle is a big city.”
“The hackers did something weird and the file got scrambled. All I could see was her workplace: Beasley, Drummond, and Martin Architectural Design. At that point they shooed me out because I’m not even supposed to have access to her file.”
“Wait, I’ve got to write that down,” he said, scrambling for pen and paper. “Give it to me again.”
“Beasley, Drummond, and Martin Architectural Design.”
“Her name’s not Audra any more, is it?”
“No, and unfortunately, I don’t have that information, either.”
“No problem. I’ll find her.” He disconnected the call. He looked at the time and saw that it was just after five in the morning. He could be in Seattle before the workday ended. He hastily packed a bag and headed out, back toward Redding and Interstate 5. He would call his boss once it was a decent hour.
Michaelson! Was that guy not done wielding his hell yet? What did he want? They had both already given their Grand Jury testimonies. Was he out for revenge, and if so, for himself or for Blanco. He had killed F
etsko…maybe. Lucas realized he was jumping to too many conclusions. The chief had only conjectured that it was Michaelson. That left a whole lot of variables. But one thing was sure…someone had viewed Audra’s file for a reason.
# # #
As he drove north, once he came in sight of Mount Shasta, he couldn’t help but just keep looking at it. He pulled into the right lane and dropped his speed a little. No wonder people thought of it as a holy mountain of some kind. As he continued on, he drew strength from its presence.
Somehow he felt above it all, as he continued on through the Siskiyous and into Oregon. Instead of feeling dirty and depressed as he had before he left Arizona, he felt like he had a sacred mission to fulfill. He shook his head, wondering if he hadn’t just morphed into some further psychosis. He supposed when he was face-to-face with Michaelson that it would seem quite so sacred.
Thinking of Audra as a damsel in distress seemed so corny, but thinking of her as some precious treasure to be saved from the hands of the infidel didn’t. Infidel…yeah…that fit. If my religion had been the law and the Marshal’s service, Michaelson was definitely the enemy of all that was right. How many times had he nearly caused our deaths?
Lucas wondered how he would do what he felt was necessary. He no longer had the protection of the Service if he brought Michaelson down. But he knew he was not leaving him to fate again. Blanco had escaped once, and Michaelson was never apprehended. He would not escape this time.
51
By the first of May, Audra had been in Seattle for five months. It would soon be time to check in with the Marshals Service. She remembered that the therapist had told her that she could ask for Lucas to join her at that time.
She didn’t know what to think. Neil was still waiting. But where am I with Lucas? Would I be devastated if I geared up to have him come, only to find out he was no longer interested? And what did that mean if I told them I wanted him to “join me”? Did it imply things I’m not sure about? Could I just tell them I want to see him again? She felt like her heart was being squeezed as she thought about it.
BILLIONAIRE BIKERS: 3 MC Romance Books Page 68
