Hmm, me in Dixon’s arms, the thought makes me feel light and airy. He’s back to flirting. Always so confident. I sit up and straighten myself out, stretching my arms and yawning.
“Thanks for waking me. I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“Would you stop apologizing? You’re going through a lot. It can be draining,” he replies like he understands, and I think that maybe he does.
“Okay.” I roll my head to release the tension. I don’t think I can stop apologizing or thanking him. My son is happy here, and that means everything to me. “I’ll go make myself a tea then head to bed.” I look at my watch to see it’s already eleven o’clock. It’s late for me to still be awake on a school night. I always go to bed early when I work, so I have energy for the kids. I’m also the type of person who needs sleep or else I can be grouchy.
“I know it’s late, but how did it go with the attorney?” He takes a seat beside me on the couch.
“Not great. Blythe wants to fight for shared custody. He’s doing it just to get back at me. I know it. He’s never taken an interest in Grant. She also wants me to file a report with the police …” I trail off as my stomach sinks. “I’m kind of dreading walking in to a police station and telling them my husband hit me. Even worse, they may want to talk to Grant because he witnessed it. I was hoping Grant would forget that ever happened.” In my slouched position, I run my fingers through my hair.
“Ma’s son, Ge, is a cop. I could ask him to come here and take your statement? If that would help you out,” he says, leaning on his thighs and glancing at me sideways. I’m relieved he isn’t looking directly at me. As it is I wouldn’t mind sleeping with him again. One direct look and I’ll be melting. He seems careful with me now. Do I seem that breakable? God knows I feel like I’m breaking.
“Do you think he would mind?” I respond, lacing my fingers together. Geez! I feel ashamed of all this.
“Hey, everything will be okay, and no, he won’t mind. He stops by here all the time.”
He tucks a few stray strands of hair that covers my face behind my ear. I preferred when they were loose; they felt like a protective blanket covering me from his gaze. Even though the gesture is sweet and caring, I know I can’t get ahead of myself. Dixon is New York’s most eligible bachelor. He could do way better than a girl like me. A girl with a past to hide.
“Let’s get you that tea, yeah?” He squeezes my thigh and stands from the couch, offering me his hand. I take it in mine as if its second nature.
We walk into the kitchen, and Dixon hits the kettle and makes me a tea. He’s so thoughtful. He’s so not a dick, my inner self cuts in. He passes me the warm cup, and I place both palms around the mug.
“Get some sleep, Eden. Everything will work out.” He squeezes my shoulder and leaves the kitchen without another word. No goodnight, nothing. I wonder why.
The next few days follow the same routine. Wake up. Eat breakfast … TOGETHER. Grant and I leave for school early since I have my teaching duties. Dixon takes his own kids to school so the parents won’t be suspicious about us. Meet back at the apartment at the end of the day. Eat dinner … TOGETHER. Relax after dinner …TOGETHER. Read the children books before bed … TOGETHER. It’s all too comfortable. We’ve fallen into this routine too easily. I worry how Grant will feel when we need to leave because he loves spending time with Jaden and Macy. He also loves Dixon. He’s such a hands-on father, playing with the kids, talking to them, always involved. I would be lying if I wasn’t thinking of my own self-preservation too. I’ve been in a loveless marriage for so long I forgot what it was like to be around a man who actually speaks and interacts. In fact, I’ve never had that example at home. There’s an easy flow of conversation between the kids and us. I can’t stop fantasizing that somehow this is a real relationship. I know I’ve read too many romance novels over the years. The stories took me to a faraway place where the opportunity for true love existed. They filled a gap that was missing in my life. Now I had become a hopeless romantic. It would have made for a good book. Dixon and I living across the hall from each other as children, spending the lonely evening hours out in the hall talking and playing cards, only to be separated tragically by unfortunate circumstances, then bumping into each other by accident at a presidential gala.
Through the love story I’ve woven together in my head, I remind myself that Dixon likes to get around. He isn’t the settling down type, and I need to be realistic.
The next day follows the same routine of waking up the boys and breakfast. We are all in the kitchen around the table. I place the Cheerios on the kitchen table, along with the bowls, while the boys wait anxiously for their food.
“Hey, good morning.” Dixon walks into the kitchen with Macy in his arms. He places her in the booster then heads for the cappuccino machine.
“Good morning,” I reply, smiling down to Macy.
“Did you sleep well?” Dixon asks from behind me. I take a seat at the table.
“Yeah, I can’t complain.” I shrug my shoulders. The truth is I feel safe and content here, so I’ve been sleeping well. I leave out the part that it’s hard to get to sleep since I can’t stop fantasizing about him. I reach for the cereal box.
“Yeah, me too,” he says, looking at me with a panty-dropping grin. He takes the cereal and pours it into his bowl. All five of us are now eating Cheerios. With Dixon sitting across from me, I notice his eyes on the back of the cereal box as if he’s reading something intently. My curiosity is heightened. What is so interesting on a back of a cereal box?
“Eden, my little Cheerio,” he says. My brows draw together. What on earth is he talking about? Then he begins to chuckle to the extent that he’s covering his mouth and his shoulders are moving up and down.
“Huh?” I squint looking at him, thinking he may have possibly lost it.
“You’re my Cheerio, Eden,” he repeats with the same devilish grin, exposing his damn cute dimples.
“What does that mean in adult?” I place my spoon down in the bowl. “Let me see the box.” I reach for it, but Dixon moves faster and pulls it away. “Uh-uh!” He shakes his head with a taunting playful tone.
He’s now holding the cereal box to his chest. With his usual attire he looks hot as sin. The black button-down shirt hugs his chest and arms and his blue jeans show off his great ass … or maybe his ass looks great in anything. It’s so unfair that I have him in an arm’s reach and I can’t dive in.
“Daddy’s being funny,” Jaden says through a bite of Cheerios.
“No, seriously. It seems like me and you keep crossing paths. Doesn’t matter where we are, we connect. Elementary school, the gala, my son being in your classroom.” He lifts and lowers his brows mischievously. “You are my Cheerio,” he explains. “See it says so on the box … drop two Cheerios in a bowl and watch how they eventually come together … it’s called the Cheerio effect,” he reads aloud.
Okay, I’m thinking he’s in a weird mood this morning. Is he saying we are meant to be together? Does he mean that we are old friends who have reconnected? I’m lost.
“That’s good to know. I’m very grateful to you for connecting,” I reply, realizing he may have taken it the wrong way and thought about the sex. I flinch then realize he definitely has me in the friend zone now, since I’ve been here for over a week and he hasn’t made a move on me.
“It has been fun.” He nods his head and continues to eat the Cheerios. It’s been an incredibly long play date, I think to myself. The kids play while the parents converse, only I’m living here. I remind myself that my life is in an upheaval, and I really shouldn’t be looking for a relationship right now. I just left my husband. I know I should feel sad or depressed, but if anything I’ve felt relief … like a huge burden has been lifted.
We finish eating and head our separate ways to the cars since mine is parked in a guest area, and Dixon has the best spot in the building beside the door. After another full day of school, Grant and I drive back to Dixon’s. It’s
already Friday night. Another week has flown by.
I look into my rearview mirror as usual, checking to see if I’m being followed. Nothing. No contact from Blythe whatsoever. For a man that wants to share custody, it doesn’t add up.
When we walk through the door I’m expecting to hear the chatter of children. The house is quiet. Ma walks toward Grant and me.
“Hey there. Kids are with their mother tonight,” she explains.
“Oh, do they have a specific arrangement set up?” I ask, looking to Ma. I notice Grant has a frown on his face.
“Not really. Dixon has them most of the time. She just lets him know when she wants a few days here and there. They don’t have an actual arrangement. Anyway, it will still be a fun night.” She smiles to Grant. “My son, Ge, is coming to dinner. He’s a police officer so he has some great stories to tell.”
“Does he catch bad guys?” Grant asks, and I’m glad to hear the enthusiasm in his tone.
“He sure does. Ge usually drops by Fridays and then the boys do some sparring in the gym.”
“Oh yeah? What type of sparring?” I ask.
“They are both black belts in Tae Kwon Do. I was a strict mother growing up. I didn’t let the boys out of the house much. Bed Stuy was dangerous back then.” She pauses and her eyes grow sad. It seems like something bad happened. “Anyway, the only time I did let them go out was for them Tae Kwon Do lessons. It was important they knew how to defend themselves. Dixon was the only white boy in his high school, and Ge was the only black kid hangin’ with a white boy. It caused them some trouble for a while, until Dixon made friends and they backed off. I had to make sure my boys were safe. They still like to practice, which is nice. My son is a cop, and I worry about him every day.” She sighs sadly. “Hey, do you two want a little snack?” She waves for us to follow her toward the kitchen.
I can’t imagine what it was like for Dixon to grow up under such tough conditions, living in an area where racial violence was so prominent. I remember the papers. There was really bad tension between the police, who were mostly white, and the black population in Bed Stuy. Thinking back to those days reminds me of my own secrets, and why I could never fall for Dixon. If he knew the truth, he would hate me. I couldn’t bear the thought back then, and I definitely can’t now. Besides, he makes it clear almost daily that we’re only friends. Even though friends shouldn’t keep secrets either.
“Would you two like some milk and cookies?” Ma asks, looking at the two of us expectantly. She pulls me out of my thoughts, and I smile softly, looking at Grant.
Grant smiles taking a seat at the table. “Sure, thanks.”
“How about you, Eden? I made them myself, they’re toffee shortbread.”
“Mmm! That does sound delicious.”
She places two cookies on a plate in front of me. They are to die for. “This is sooo good.” I smile between bites.
“Thanks, dear. Do you have parents, Eden?” Ma suddenly asks, startling me with her personal question. I guess it makes sense. If I had family, why wouldn’t I be with them now at a time like this? She’s looking out for Dixon, and I like that he has this.
“My mom walked out on me when I started middle school, and I don’t know who my biological father is. The man I thought was my father … the man my mother left me with, kept the secret of my paternity until I graduated high school. Then the truth came out, and I had to leave home. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since I left the night of my high school graduation,” I explain, hoping she doesn’t ask for pieces of this puzzle that I left out.
“I’m sorry, dear. That must be tough. Dixon’s mother also left.”
“I know. I mean, I remember. He mentioned it to me back when we were neighbors in Williamsburg.”
“No way.” She smacks the table hard.
“What is it?” I ask, a little startled by her abrupt reaction.
“I remember you, girl. You’d spend afternoons playing cards with him. I couldn’t get him to come inside and do his school work. I’ll be damned …” her voice trails off.
“Yeah, small world.” I reply, unsure of what to say next.
“The world isn’t small, dear. It all comes from up above. I believe in that.” She nods her head assuredly.
I smile. Grant tugs on my leg. “What is it buddy?”
“Can we watch some TV or something?” he asks, sounding bored.
“Of course.” I stand up from the table and take my plate and Grant’s, brushing the extra crumbs off the table and onto my plate.
“You guys can watch TV in the family room. You don’t need to stay in the guest room. Please feel comfortable.” She grins.
“Thanks, Ma, that’s very gracious. You and Dixon have been really kind to us, and it’s very much appreciated.”
“No need to thank me, sweet girl. Dixon may seem like he’s up to no good, but he has a heart of gold.” She smiles and looks at me knowingly, like she wants me to receive the message.
My cheeks flush. Darn it! I don’t need her knowing I have a crush on him.
“He’s kind,” I confirm.
“Stop blushing, girl. I may be old, but I’m not a nun. I know he’s a handsome man and he gets around. I think he truly likes you, though.” She looks at me and waits, I think, for my reaction … only I wasn’t expecting that outburst, and I think my heart stopped beating. I try to convince myself that we’re two grown women and this topic shouldn’t be so embarrassing.
“You heard him this morning … I’m in the friend zone.” I bite my lip and tilt my head to the side.
“And you don’t want to be?” She pushes even more. Oh dear! Get me out of this kitchen. Ma is a nice lady, but she’s clearly nosy. I can’t admit out loud what I haven’t allowed myself to admit in the quiet of my own head.
“Like I said, it wouldn’t matter. He’s made sure I understand I’m in the friend zone. I’m grateful for his kindness right now. That’s it.” I hope to reassure her without coming off too strong, because I don’t want that. I just need out of the kitchen since the air is too dense in here.
“Well, if you did have any ideas…” her eyebrows bounce suggestively, “…then don’t give up on them. He’s been through a lot, and he’s built an iron wall around himself to protect his heart. I actually think he’s rather fond of you.” At her words my pulse quickens. Dixon fond of me? Really?
“Seriously? I don’t think I’m his type,” I answer, hoping that she will tell me differently.
“I think you’re wrong there. If he didn’t like you he would have slept with you already and sent you on your way. I may turn a blind eye to his behavior, but I am not blind. He keeps you around because he likes you. I don’t think I am wrong there.” She nods. My heart sinks because he did sleep with me; only he hasn’t tried again. I know I’m partially to blame because of the way I freaked out after the sex that night, but at some point I had hoped we could talk about it and try again. Of course, he hasn’t looked my way and who knows if he’s getting it somewhere else. “Anyway, I was just putting it out there. I need to get some things started on the stove.” She turns back toward the cabinets.
I turn to look for Grant, who has left the room. I find him sitting on the couch looking bored. I don’t let him watch too much television, but it’s Friday and I’m pretty exhausted myself. I sit back on the couch next to him and pull out my cell phone to call Jenna. Things were so busy in school this week, we didn’t have time to catch up.
She picks up on the first ring, and before I have time to say hello she begins, “Hey you. How’s it going up at casa Crawford?” She laughs into the phone.
“Okay, sorry we didn’t get to go out last night,” I reply, hoping to deflect the inquiry that is directed my way. I did commit to Thursday nights as a going out night, but I can’t do that while staying here.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Your life has turned upside down. I’m proud of you, Eden. You deserve a whole lot better than you were getting. Even though I don’t think Dick is th
e answer. I hope you aren’t getting any ideas over there,” she says and her voice sounds borderline accusatory or suspicious.
“Not at all. We have made the lines very clear. Jaden and Grant are friends, and so are Dixon and I,” I reassure her, but for some reason I hate the words coming out of my mouth. I know I should know better. I can’t help my attraction to him. I guess I always have been, and now that he’s a stunningly hot man, well, the attraction only feels stronger. The hot sex just made me crave him more.
“Are you still there?” Jenna calls into the phone. No, Jenna, I’m in Dixon fantasy land, I reply in my mind.
“Yeah, sorry. Friday. I’m tired. I just need to shower and put on my PJs.”
“Oh! Pajama party. Yay!” Dixon’s voice startles me and my head snaps to the entrance of the family room. I smile and roll my eyes at him. Forever the flirt.
I want to ask Jenna what happened with the guy she was dancing with at the club last week. I saw him slip her his number. I also forgot to ask if she ever hooked up with the bouncer with the large ding dong. My questions will have to wait now with Dixon in the room. I don’t want be rude since I’m a guest in his house.
“Jenna, let’s talk tomorrow. I need to take Grant somewhere. Maybe the botanical gardens in Brooklyn,” I say, hoping she wants to come along.
“Sure, sounds good. I’ll come along, then. Maybe Matilda can babysit and we can hit the town?” she says with a playful tone.
“Honestly, my attorney told me to keep a low profile until the divorce goes through. We have mediation coming up in a couple weeks. She doesn’t want any negative media attention,” I explain, feeling bad. I would like to go out, and I hate to have to reject her again.
“I understand. At least you’ll be a free woman.”
“True. Bye, Jenna.”
“Bye, Eden. Watch out for Mr. Wolf.” She giggles into the phone and then I hear the click. She’s too funny.
Dick (Bad Boys #1) Page 17
