“Put me down,” I order, and he places me on my feet and extends his hand. I’m not sure what he wants but then he says, “Truce, friend?
There it is again. The F-word that I hate so much. It stings, but I can’t leave him hanging, so I extend my hand to meet his. He grabs my hand and pulls me into him fiercely so my chest smacks into his. Holy hell.
Unsure of what will happen next. I must have a lost look in my eyes because after a brief moment of silence and heated glares he says, “I’m just playing.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I answer, trying to play it cool and act as if having him this close to me, with his muscles on display and the smell of sweat, doesn’t make me want to hump him into tomorrow. Always the player, I think to myself. The guy is smooth.
“Sorry, I’m a sweaty mess. Not very polite of me,” he says, releasing me.
“Uh, no worries.” I reply nervously.
“Well, I better get to bed,” are his next words. I have the words ‘I don’t think so’ on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t let them slip out.
“Yeah, sure,” I say with defeat. I don’t understand his angle. One minute he’s playful and his eyes look heated. The next he’s cold like ice.
“You have yourself a goodnight.” He nods.
“Yeah, you too,” I answer, and what I really want to say is “how do you expect me to get to bed now that I was spread eagle on top of you only moments ago?” I keep my dirty thoughts to myself.
I’ve flicked through the TV channels three times and can’t decide what to watch. Sitting in the family room, I occasionally glare at the bar on the back wall and think of that wine he gave me the other night. It made me feel bold and confident. I wouldn’t mind downing a glass and going to find Dixon again. It’s so wrong to do, though. The guy is helping me out and he’s been so kind. I can’t put him in a position that he will have to reject me. He doesn’t do relationships, and I only do relationships. It would never work.
As I sit and stare blankly at the show on the TV, Ge’s words from earlier run through my head. Does Dixon like me? Ge and Ma seem to think so. Dixon seems like he’s in neutral waters, though. He couldn’t care less if I’m here or if I’m not.
I think of how nice it would have been to meet Dixon when I finished high school. We were both so young, but he really saved me now. I wonder if he could have saved me back then? I hate that I need to be saved at all. I also tell myself that everyone in life has problems. They also have family to have their back. When you don’t have family, things get complicated. That’s how I got into a bad situation with Blythe.
My phone buzzes and I look down to see Blythe’s name on the screen. My stomach sinks
I hope you aren’t staying with Crawford. Your lawyer may be accusing me of affairs, but you’re no better. I want to see Grant. Bring him over tomorrow at noon. Maybe we can talk then too.
My hands shake as I read the text. I know better than to respond, but I sense Blythe’s anger. I also think he wants to convince me to come home. I wish he would just let this go. I wish I could contact Sam right now, but it’s a Friday night. I don’t know what to do. My pulse begins to speed up and I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. I can’t think of anything besides Blythe’s dilated pupils the day we left. Was he on something? It’s not like him to try drugs. It doesn’t make sense. I worry that maybe this whole situation was an eye opener for him and he wants another chance … a chance I don’t want to give. I’m not naïve. I know zebras don’t change their stripes, and as hard as it is for him to accept the defeat of our marriage, he will just have to deal with it.
I walk briskly toward the kitchen. The house is dark, and I’m glad no one is awake to see me falling apart. When I reach the kitchen I walk straight to the kettle. Maybe warm tea will calm my nerves.
“Hey,” Dixon whispers in the dark, causing me to flinch.
My hand comes up to guard my heart. “Jesus! I didn’t see you there.” He’s sitting at the kitchen table, fidgeting with a napkin. He isn’t wearing a shirt. His silhouette of hard, curvaceous muscle takes my breath away.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” He stands slowly, walking up to me carefully.
My breath hitches. His washboard abs lead down to a tattoo of wings with a cross in the center. I remember running my tongue along his tattoo the night we had sex. Heat pools in my belly at the memory. I’m shaking from the inside out. From Blythe’s warning text, but also from the uncontrollable lust that overtakes me when Dixon is near.
“What’s going on? Did something happen?” he asks, furrowing his brows together. He looks concerned.
I can’t formulate words with my emotions in a tornado, so I pass him my phone and he reads the text from Blythe.
“Mother fucker,” he bites out. “Don’t let him bully you like this. He has no right jumping to conclusions, and he has no fucking right to summon you this way.” He lets out an exasperated breath then pulls me into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around me. I didn’t know it before, but it’s exactly what I needed, strong safe arms around me. He smells fresh out of the shower. The small amount of hair on his chest rubs against my cheek as he holds me close to him. Without realizing it, I move my arms around his waist to hug him back. My breasts pressing into his bare skin feels heavenly. My earlier panic slithers away.
“You don’t need to take Grant to him. He can’t make demands on you anymore. You need to speak to your lawyer, and she can set up visitation, which honestly should probably be supervised.” He pauses before he begins to speak again. His tone is powerful and soothing all at once. He’s a take charge guy, and it’s exactly what I need right now. “I told my ex I want the kids back tomorrow so we can all do something together. She has a thing anyway,” he whispers along my ear. It tingles.
He doesn’t want me to be alone tomorrow. Having him so close to me makes my hormones skyrocket. His hand rubs up and down my back. I pull my head off his chest and look into his eyes. He stares back with reverence. His eyes slowly drop to my lips for a moment before he takes a big gulp. His head dips and he lowers his lips so they are caressing my own, slowly, with control. I close my eyes, enjoying the touch, the intimacy. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Or maybe I have … with him. The first time we kissed. He was a bad person to share a first kiss with because he set the standard so high. No one ever matched up. His palm cups the back of my head and the kiss grows heated as our tongues intertwine. It feels so good I let out a moan. And then I feel him pushing me away from him and confusion washes over me.
“Eden, I’m sorry,” he says, shaking his head.
“Huh? What?” I feel dizzy and cold. I’m not sure if it’s from the hot kiss or the fact that I feel bereft of his touch.
“You’re in a fragile state. This shouldn’t be happening. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” He turns to walk away before I can formulate any words. I want to tell him that it was okay, better than okay. Perfect. But he’s gone. I grip the counter until my knuckles turn white. Frustration racks through me. I take my tea and walk to the guest bedroom. I see a dim light on in the master bedroom. A part of me is tempted to knock on his door and ask him what made him into this man. Despite his cool bravado and suave ways with the ladies, I see a man that’s broken. A man that doesn’t trust enough to give his heart. It’s actually sad because Ma is right; he is a really good person. He’s caring and supportive. It’s too bad he won’t allow himself to feel. I sit upright in bed and sip my tea as I watch Grant sleeping peacefully. There is no way I will take him to see Blythe tomorrow. I can’t trust that he won’t try to hurt me again. When I think of how he twisted my arm and smacked me across the face, I spin into a viscous cycle of self-loathing. I did that to myself. I was so weak. Blythe controlled my every move for so long, and the end result made me to feel worthless. I wasn’t going to let him succeed because a small spark inside me pushed me forward for my son’s sake. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
Saturday morn
ing is pretty uneventful. I’m thankful Grant slept in, because I needed the extra few hours to sleep, since I had a hard time falling asleep. I hate how Dixon pulled away from our kiss last night. I can’t help my feelings for him. I only wish he would reciprocate. Both Ge and Ma seem to believe he may have real feelings for me, only their opinion doesn’t matter if he isn’t on board. By ten o’clock Grant and I saunter into the kitchen for breakfast. Ma is by the frying pan making omelets and hash browns.
“No Cheerios this morning, friend. We need to remove that box from this house.” Dixon winks at me playfully. I get the joke he’s making. The Cheerio effect: the fact that we somehow drifted together last night. He’s blaming the Cheerios. Very funny. And he’s clearly saying he doesn’t want it to happen again. Just Great.
“Very funny,” I reply, trying to make light of a very uncomfortable situation. Grant and I take seats around the table, and Ma puts a heaping serving of eggs and hash browns for both of us.
“Thank you, it smells delicious.”
“The kids should be back soon,” Dixon says with a wide smile, flashing his damn dimples. My chest warms at the sight, and I try not to look doe-eyed. He said he would spend the day with us today. I wonder if that’s changed.
“I told Jenna maybe we would meet her at the botanical gardens.”
“Can Jaden and Macy come too?” Grant looks up to me with hope, his eyes glimmering.
“Of course, sweet boy, but you need to ask their daddy if it’s okay.” I move the hair out of his eyes and look at Dixon. His gaze lands on me for a few seconds before he answers. I begin to shift in my seat.
“Yeah, buddy, we would love to join you, only I think it’s going to rain. Maybe we should head to the museum instead,” he suggests, looking at Grant. Is he agreeing to appease my son? Is he coming to keep an eye on me? Ugh! This whole situation is frustrating.
“It doesn’t matter as long as you, Jaden, and Macy come too,” Grant responds, causing my chest to tighten. Shoot! He’s really attached to all of them.
“Of course all of us will come,” Dixon confirms. Then he gets up from the table giving me a wary look. Did my son just freak him out too?
“I’m going to get dressed,” he mutters and turns to leave the kitchen.
My gaze turns to Ma, who has concern etched all over her face. “Give him time. He has a lot on his mind. He needs to work this out,” she says, speaking to me in riddles. I wish I knew what she meant. “He’s had a hard life. His family abandoned him and then he got a new family. Problem is he never got over the loss of the first family.”
“I can understand that. I mean, I never got another family, but my heart always ached that my own mother walked away from me. I can’t even go into details about my father,” I begin.
“I know, and I understand. He is my boy in every sense that matters. He can’t see past his hurt, though, if that makes sense. As strong as he appears on the outside, it’s a whole different game in here …” She holds on to her heart. I feel Dixon’s pain, the feeling of being left behind. The hope that one day they will learn from their mistakes and return. My own mother just returned and none of those feelings have been resolved for me.
“I’m sorry. I can see you’ve been a great mother to him. He’s lucky.”
She places her hand over mine and gives it a squeeze. “You are a good mother too. Don’t ever doubt yourself. Your boy looks at you like you’re an angel. That’s special.”
“Thanks.” I smile.
I head over to Grant, who’s in the family room watching TV. A moment later Dixon walks in wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. Normal, handsome, kind. I let out a quiet sigh.
“You two ready?” he asks. Grant gets up from the couch. We all head to the door. “My ex is dropping the kids off at the museum.”
“Okay, I told Jenna to meet us there,” I say quietly. Things are definitely awkward after that kiss last night and Grant’s enthusiasm towards him.
“Yeah, Ge is coming too for a bit. He has the morning off,” he explains. I wonder if he needs a buffer between us. Suddenly it dawns on me that Jenna might not like the idea of Ge hanging with us after their dance floor antics. I don’t know if they actually hooked up, but if they did, things may get awkward.
Dixon wants to drive, so I place Grant in Jaden’s car seat. Dixon mentions he has another car seat in the trunk. I wonder why and when he would get another car seat. The drive to the museum is quiet. When we arrive Grant and I head straight in, while Dixon waits out front for his ex. I have no need to come face to face with her while I’m here with Dixon. I don’t need her gossiping with the other mothers at school. From behind the glass wall, I watch from a safe distance and see his wife pull up in her Mercedes SUV, wearing a large pair of dark sunglasses. She doesn’t get out of the car or kiss her children. Dixon picks up both Macy and Jaden and places them on the sidewalk beside him without so much as a sideways glance at his ex. I sense hostility between them.
As the five of us walk over to the entrance to pay admission, Jenna walks through the door, looking tip-top in a pair of skinny jeans, little black booties, and a pink T-shirt. Her dark hair is blown out straight, and she’s wearing more make up than usual. Things got busy and I didn’t have a chance to mention Ge joining us today, but in a way I’m glad she looks smoking hot because she and Ge make a good looking couple. I chide myself for being the forever romantic. Jenna would too if she knew my thoughts.
She leans in to give me a kiss then turns and says, “Hey, Dick.”
I find it funny that she calls him Dick. Jaden runs to hug her, and Grant smiles her way. Macy doesn’t know her too well. A moment later, Ge comes walking through the front door, lifting a pair of dark aviator glasses from his eyes, wearing a tight, black T-shirt and a loose pair of blue jeans. His body is rock solid. Jenna’s face immediately pales, and Ge’s eyes go round. This answers my question. They must have hooked up over the past week. Ge immediately shakes my hand, and Dixon moves on to introduce him to Jenna. They both act as if they don’t know each other. I sense that Dixon has caught on to the charade too.
Walking through the modern art exhibit first, the adults are quiet while the kids ramble amongst themselves. I notice Dixon whispering something to Ge. They’ve stayed a little behind, staring at a certain exhibit like they both care about it.
“Jenna, that’s the guy you were dancing with at the club last week,” I say matter-of-factly. Her eyes dance around without making contact. “Jenna?” Her eyes go round, and she sucks her upper lip into her mouth. “You hooked up with him. When?”
“Eden, um … Shit! I didn’t want to say anything. That night we went clubbing I … I didn’t go home after,” she begins.
“Oh my! You went home with Ge?” I ask.
“Huh? Ge?” she looks confused.
“The guy over by Dixon,” I remind her.
“Oh, you mean Gerard. Ge … right,” she mutters to herself figuring out his name. “No, I didn’t hook up with him. I hooked up with the bouncer with the large ding dong.” She bursts into laughter and smacks her hand over her mouth.
“Jenna, holy crap. How was that? I mean …” I’m speechless.
“It was shit, Eden. The point is I was feeling down on myself. The bouncer was a nice guy, just not for me. I called Gerard on Saturday night. He was off. He’s a cop, you know …” she begins.
“Jenna. Ge is Dixon’s brother,” I state so she knows I know Ge.
She looks at me as if I lost it. “You know that Dixon is white, right?” she asks, looking at me lopsided.
“Jenna, Ge’s mom basically adopted Dixon,” I explain and recognition hits her eyes.
“Holy shit! Eden that night was so good. He was sooo good,” she begins and it looks like goose bumps have erupted over her arms. I’m not sure it’s a good idea for my best friend to be hooking up with the brother of the guy I’ve been in love with since I was thirteen years old.
“So what happened?” I urge her to continue before the
men catch up. The kids are busy too.
“Nothing, it was an awesome one-night stand. I never expected to have a family day with him at the museum.” She huffs, rolling her eyes. I envy that she doesn’t get attached the way I do. One night with Dixon and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Having his kids … “This is seriously uncomfortable. He never called, but neither did I. We parted ways and it was mutual.”
Dixon and Ge catch up to us. I think we are now all caught up on the one-night stand between Jenna and Ge. We continue walking through the museum. Macy gets tired, so Dixon puts her into the stroller he brought along. Grant comes up to Jenna and takes her hand, along with Jaden on the other side.
“Uncle Ge, you push me.” Macy looks up to Ge and sticks out her bottom lip. No one can say no to that face. Dixon takes a step back and gives Ge the stroller. Ge walks faster, and he catches up to Jenna. Dixon stays behind to walk with me.
“They make for an interesting couple.” He laughs. With Ge pushing the stroller and Jenna holding on to two kids they look like a happy family.
“Very funny.” I shake my head.
“You look nice today.” The smile on his face fades into something serious, possibly heated.
“Thank you.” I smile back. We have now entered a long exhibit. It’s empty for a Saturday. The children have dragged Jenna way off, and Ge is following close behind her.
Dixon looks tense. I’m not sure what to say. This hall seems darker, emphasizing the abstract art on display. “Have I done something wrong? I mean, I am so grateful to you for helping us out. If we’ve overstayed, please tell me. I don’t …” I pause because Dixon has a pained look on his face.
“Eden, don’t. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He moves in close enough that I can feel his breath on my face.
“What is it, then? You seemed irritated since last night?” I need to know.
“Irritated? That’s what you think?” He laughs, almost as if the statement is ironic. “I’m definitely not irritated, Eden. I’m turned on as hell. I want you so bad that I can practically taste you from here.” He moves in and his mouth brushes my ear. My entire body tingles. There’s a dark niche in the wall, and he walks me backward until I’m pressed against the wall. My heart is beating wildly, wondering what will happen next. “You’re my son’s teacher, Eden. I also find you incredibly tempting. I know I shouldn’t want you, but I do. I want you so bad it hurts. If I looked irritated, it’s only because I haven’t been able to fuck anyone else. I can’t stop thinking about you. I need to be inside you like I need air … right now.”
Dick (Bad Boys #1) Page 19
