He laughed again and I realized that I kind of loved making him laugh. After spending forty-eight hours with him, I had observed that it didn’t happen very often. I liked being the one that could make him relax a little.
“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” he prodded. “You guess you’re a couple?”
“We are,” I said more firmly. “At least I think we are. It’s complicated. We’re going slowly.”
“Sure, that makes sense. I mean, it’s the end of the world. Y’all have plenty of time to figure out your feelings for each other.”
“We don’t want to mess it up,” I retorted hotly. “I’m pretty sure my brothers would pick him over me if things went bad between us.”
“Ha!” Luke laughed loudly. “I can guarantee they’re not going to pick the man who broke your heart. You can’t be serious.”
“Well, I was exaggerating a little bit, but still… My family will never give up Miller. No matter what happens between him and me. So I’m just trying to make this as smooth as possible.”
“She risks everything to save a complete stranger, but she wants love to be easy.” He turned to me again. “You’re a puzzle, Page Parker. A puzzle I didn’t expect.”
A sharp fluttering flashed through my belly. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
He turned to face me again. “Well, rotted teeth would certainly have helped.”
“Helped what?” My voice was barely a whisper. I didn’t know what Luke was talking about or if I should even be engaging this conversation. Instinct told me to run.
And intuition told me to wait.
“Get some sleep,” he said instead. “I’ll keep watch for now.”
“I won’t be able-”
“Try,” he insisted. “I’ll wake you the second the wind blows the wrong way.”
“Do that,” I ordered. “I’ll be ready.”
His soft murmur of, “I know that you will be,” followed me as I closed my eyes and gave into the oppressive exhaustion now that my adrenaline had fizzled out.
I didn’t know if we would make it to morning. And if we did, I didn’t know if we’d make it back to the car.
But those felt like small problems compared to the bigger battle if we did make it home.
Those felt like the least of my problems with the Colony.
And the Zombie infestation.
And this boy Luke that I knew nothing about. And at the same time… everything.
Episode Eight
Chapter One
Harrison Parker
“Dude, you’re staring.”
I tried to look at King, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the disgusting scene in front of me. “Huh?”
“You’re staring,” he repeated. “You look like a creeper.”
His words bounced around in my head like a pinball, but that’s all they did. I barely understood them. “Huh?”
“Harrison, you’re killing me,” he groaned. “Diego’s going to shiv you tonight and I’m going to feel so guilty. Everyone will blame me. It will be this big thing. And I’ll have to deal with all the aftermath while you get to be dead. Can you just pretend like you’re not hung up on this girl for five freaking seconds?”
His words finally penetrated. “I’m going to shiv you, asshole. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pushed up off my knees until I was sitting straight and turned to Joss, knowing what King’s expression would look like and wanting to avoid that whole judgment-fest forever. “Can you believe him?”
She tried to hide her smile. “I know, right? He’s obviously talking out of his ass.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at Joss’s sense of humor. The girl was so cool. King had gotten beyond lucky. I knew they weren’t vow crazy like our other brothers, but he was gone for her.
Thanks to me.
For backing off when clearly I’d had opportunity to sweep in.
The assumption being that she obviously would have chosen me.
Not that I would do that to my little brother. But, I had generously stepped out of the way. And I wanted credit for that.
Joss’s fingers curled in King’s hair and his eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. He was so whipped.
I was embarrassed for him.
“You’re pathetic,” King added. “You know she’s going home with him unless you do something to stop her.”
Acid bubbled like a volcano inside me, but I played it cool. “What are you talking about?”
King slid forward and Joss’s hand slid to his back. Did they always have to be touching? “Adela,” he mumbled, barely moving his lips. “Diego’s going to take her back with him unless… unless she’s persuaded to stay.”
I leaned forward too, not bothering to drop my voice. “Adela can do whatever the hell she wants. She’s a grown woman. She can make her own grownup decisions.”
My voice carried across the wide room. I swear it even echoed. It was like I’d shouted the damn thing. Regret curdled inside me as potently as did the anger bubbling like lava. My wish was to close my eyes and hide from the world, but I didn’t let myself.
I couldn’t even admit the truth to King.
He shook his head at me disgustingly and jumped to his feet. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
“Whatever, King. Let it go.”
He leaned forward and got in my face. “Except I’m the one that has to watch… this.” His hand swooped, indicating all of me, I guessed. “And it’s painful man. It’s not cool.”
“I’m going to say this one more time; you don’t know what you’re talking about, little brother. Let it go.”
“Yeah, fine. I’m letting it go.” He turned around and walked away. I watched him move over to Hendrix and Nelson who were keeping vigil near the back door. Neither had moved in hours. King needed something to do. It seemed worrying about my little sister would at least, hopefully, get him out of my business for a while.
A buzz of electricity zipped down my spine. I didn’t have to look at her to know she was looking at me.
I felt the heat of her gaze. The fire that burned inside her.
I felt every inch of space between us.
Every breath that separated us.
Every atom and electron and charged molecule.
Every mile that stood between us.
Every wall.
Every cruel word.
Every stupid decision.
Every-
“You’re kind of pigheaded, you know that?”
I looked up at Joss and shot her a grin. “Ah, now I know what King sees in you. You’ve got a way with words.”
She wrinkled her nose at me and gazed across the room to where King was in deep discussion with my brothers. “You guys are so different for being brothers.”
I shrugged and stared at my shoes. I had to or I would look at her. I would turn and meet her gaze and lose.
And this was a game I had gotten very good at winning.
“King says you’re in love with her.”
Joss’s words were like a punch in the face. I nearly fell out of my chair.
Adela turned away. She removed her focus from me and gave it back to Diego- where it belonged. I felt it happen. It was like pressure lifting off my chest and air being put back into my lungs.
“I’m not,” I sighed. Joss wasn’t subtle with her surprise. She assumed I would deny knowing what she was talking about, just like I did with my brothers. But I was tired of playing dumb.
I was tired of this game. It had dragged on way too goddamn long.
And now it was almost over.
This time I gave my eyelids permission to close. Because it was out of relief. Not regret. It was out of anticipation.
Not humiliation.
The fear pushing at my pulse called me a liar, but denial had been my friend for a good long decade now.
Joss snorted and said, “You kind of seem like you are.”
When I lifted my gaze to meet hers I peeled
back the wall I’d built and the layer upon layer of self-defense I’d learned over the years. “This looks like love to you?”
She flinched. I wasn’t sure what she saw or what I looked like. I might have been a monster in that moment- ugly, torn to shreds and scarred over every inch of my skin.
That was how I pictured myself when it came to Adela anyway.
When Joss didn’t have an answer, I laughed and it sounded bitter… defeated. “This isn’t love, Joss. Love doesn’t look like this.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but Miller miraculously interrupted. “All night,” he muttered, taking the seat King had just vacated. “All goddamn night.” He leaned into his hands, covering his face with them. “Your sister is trying to kill me. She knows what she’s doing to me and she’s doing it on purpose.”
I smiled. It was more than fantastic to see Miller this worked up. Not that I thought it was healthy for him. He was a few screws short of a toolbox in my expert opinion, but at least he’d provide some entertaining distraction. “She does know what she’s doing,” I told him. “She’s had this whole thing planned for weeks. She told me that she wanted to see how much she could piss you off.”
“Screw you, asshole,” Miller growled. “Your sister’s missing. Just try to care.”
“Say it one more time,” I dared him. I moved to the edge of my seat, my toes bouncing on the ground, readying for a fight… praying for one. He had no idea.
He had no goddamn clue.
Miller met my gaze without flinching. “I was out of line,” he relented. “I know you care about her. I’m stressed. This doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
His stone cold apology did little to tame the dragon spreading its wings and breathing fire inside me. But at the same time, I knew him. I knew he didn’t mean it. Page hadn’t come home last night and it was driving him crazy.
It was driving us all crazy.
He was just closer to the ledge to start with.
I nodded at him and tried to shrug. “I’m on edge too. We’re cool.” God, I felt bipolar. Shit, I wasn’t usually like this. Or at least I didn’t let it slip out this often.
Joss’s calm voice split through the tension, soothing both of our frayed tempers. “Isn’t there anything else we can do? Can’t we go look for them? It seems so pointless to sit here on our hands and do nothing.”
“We already went out looking for them,” I reminded her. “It didn’t end well.”
“She’s not in that settlement,” Miller added immediately. “Not now and not when it burned to the ground. She’s too smart for that shit. She got out.”
Joss didn’t have to speak for me to read her mind. I had the same thoughts. There were no guarantees in this ugly world we lived in. There were no positives or absolutes or assurances.
And this was my little sister.
The risk had never been greater.
So I chose to let Miller have his delusions and believe them right along with him.
My attention returned to long black hair and longer legs. Distraction.
She was a distraction. A bad one at that.
I had more important things to worry about than whatever that woman wanted to do with her life.
“I’m going for a walk.” I jumped to my feet.
Miller threw his hands out to the side. “I came over here for sympathy!”
“Joss will give it to you,” I promised him while ignoring her look of sheer panic. “She has nothing better to do.”
I patted Miller on the back and moved toward the back of the old Wal-Mart. This place was such a dump. Page had promised guts and glory and so far the only action I’d seen was fighting the puke-reaction I felt every time I used the “bathroom” out back.
I missed the research station.
And Colombia.
And simpler apocalyptic times.
Santi stepped in my path. “Hey, Parker, where’s your sister?”
I ran a hand down my face. I had zero patience for this guy. “You should go look for her. See if you can find her.”
His eyes narrowed. The insult was two-fold, but I wasn’t sure if he’d caught the subtlety of it.
He knew I was calling him out, but he didn’t know why. Which was, firstly, ever since we’d started this trip he’d gotten lazy. I’d always gotten the creeper vibe from him, but now he wasn’t pulling his weight around camp. And that pissed me off. Secondly, he didn’t know the area, so if he went out looking for Page, he’d most likely run into trouble he couldn’t return from.
Which was fine with me.
Because like I said, he pissed me off.
I had never trusted Santi. There were Colombians I would have died for back in Bogotá. I would have done anything for the friends we had made in that city. But Santi had always been after something.
For a long time I’d assumed he was after my sister. But I wasn’t even sure about that anymore.
The man was an enigma.
A dirty, creepy, lazy enigma.
“Maybe I will go look for her. Someone has to.” He ran his hand over the scruff on his chin in a cocky, challenging gesture.
I didn’t have time for this. He was little compared to my other problems. I took a step, trying to move around him. “Let me know what you find out.”
He called after me. “My men are getting restless. We were promised a war. So far, we’ve seen nothing but this building.”
That was amazing coming from someone who been a part of the same journey I had. A month ago, we’d all but crawled into Diego’s territory on our very last leg. And now he was bored?
“Nobody’s stopping you, Santi. Walk out the door and go find yourself a war. We’re not standing in your way.”
He tipped his head back and laughed at the skylights. “That would be a mistake, culo. A huge mistake.”
“Is there a problem?” Hendrix stepped up next to me with Nelson beside him.
My brothers to the rescue. As if I couldn’t take care of my damn self.
Santi leaned in. “No problem.” His accent thickened. “Just wondering after Page.”
“We all are,” Hendrix answered.
Santi scurried off to the rat hole he’d crawled out of and I looked fleetingly at the door. I needed out. I needed fresh air. I needed space.
“What was that about?” Nelson pressed. “You looked pissed.”
I shrugged. I didn’t exactly know how to answer his question. “I am pissed. But I’m also on edge. I’m not sure if Santi was trying to irritate the piss out of me or if I’m just ready to fight someone.”
“Probably both,” Hendrix suggested. “But that looked like more. Santi looked… agitated.”
“Santi doesn’t know when to shut his mouth.” I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept. Or at least slept well. I had been awake all night waiting for Page and Luke to show up and when they hadn’t I’d gone on a search and rescue mission that ended with the remnants of what used to be Allentown burning in a massive inferno that lit up the black night.
We had no idea if Page had survived or where she’d gone if she had.
And so, those second in command to Luke had declared that we wait here for their return. If they weren’t back by dusk tonight, Luke’s people wanted to leave without them.
That was their contingency plan.
Apparently when things got tough here, the tough… bailed.
What they didn’t realize was how loyal my family was to one another. If Page wasn’t back by tonight, or hell, if she wasn’t back in the next couple hours, we’d go out searching for her again. And this time we wouldn’t rest until we found her. No matter how many men and settlements and Feeders stood between her and us. We would not stop until we had her back.
Even if we had to burn this entire country to the ground.
Again.
“I’m going for a walk,” I announced. “I’ll go crazy if I don’t move. I need air.”
Hendrix
stepped back so I had more room. “Do you want me to go with you?”
I looked at my older brother and considered his offer. I could see concern etched across his brow and it wasn’t just for Page. He was worried about all of us.
He always had been.
Vaughan had been the same way when he was alive.
And Nelson was just like them.
They would do anything for their family. They would take care of us till the very end. They would protect us, fight for us… die for us.
It was awesome. Nothing made me feel more secure than knowing I had three capable killers at my back every step of the way.
But what they didn’t understand, what they needed to realize, was that I was a grown man now. I could take care of myself. I could deal with my own shit. Survive my own issues.
And they had families to take care of now. Their lives had grown bigger than just the siblings. Hendrix and Nelson had to let us go… trust us to be the men, and woman, they had taught us to be.
“I’m good,” I told Hendrix. “I need to be alone for a while.”
“Sure?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Be safe then, yeah?” Nelson asked. “Don’t wander off.”
I cracked a smile and lifted the front pouch of my holster. “I’ll be okay, big brother. You don’t need to worry about me.”
I walked through them before they could spout some sappy shit at me about how they can’t help it or whatever.
Pushing through the old warehouse doors, I followed the now familiar path to the back of the building. It was pretty ingenious to use an old Wal-Mart to hide out in. The walls were thick and sturdy. The location was out of the way, off the main street. And the skylights added enough natural light that they didn’t need to burn anything to see.
Still, just like everything else in this godforsaken world, it was far from foolproof.
On the horizon the sun had just made its first appearance of the day, but most of the sky was still a hazy gray. I hadn’t realized how hot I’d been inside, how stifled I’d felt. A line of sweat dripped down my back and dotted my forehead. A light breeze curled around me, cooling my damp skin and giving me the heady sense of relief I’d been looking for.
Love and Decay Page 20
