Those little holes in her chest and stomach. Those little holes, they kind of hurt a bit, a faint but piercing ache. It was her blood, then. That made sense, only she didn’t remember what had caused it. It didn’t matter, really. She was here, with Jack, and Jack was okay. She wanted to stay with him, though, and weakness was tugging at her, unconsciousness pulling at the edges of her sight. If she let Jack out of her sight, he might go away again, so she had to keep looking at him. He had asked her so many times now to please please stay with him, and she would do anything for him. So she batted away the weakness, the urge to sleep. She couldn’t sleep, not yet.
She didn’t want him to be afraid. “I’m…staying here with you, Jack,” she whispered. I’m listening to you, she tried to say, but the words faded in her throat before they could come out. She felt the magic in her belly, and she tried to remember how to use it. Maybe the magic would help her, just this once, without needing rage or passion to fuel it. She forced her eyes to stay open because if they closed she might drift away into the waiting black, and that was not staying with him. So she focused on Jack, fixing into her mind his straight nose and thin lips and faint blond stubble on his chin, his ocean-blue eyes, his tangled mess of hair. She focused on him, and tried with every shred of strength she had left to pull on the magic, for herself. So she could stay with Jack. The magic responded, just a little. It was a trickle of warmth, like a breath of air felt against a palm in a darkened room, but then it grew, just a little bit at a time. It wasn’t for herself, really, she told the magic. It was for Jack. He was so worried, so afraid for her. If she let the crouched beast of sleep any closer, if she let it take her, he would be wrought with agony, she knew he would. He would…he would be so sad. She wasn’t really making sense to herself. Lucidity was coming and going, but she kept the idea fixed in her mind. For Jack, she told the magic. Keep me here with him, please? So he wouldn’t be alone, so he wouldn’t weep anymore.
She felt the magic respond, filling her. She was still cold, and weak, but the magic coiled like a serpent and lashed out, striking the beast of blackness, the hungry darkness, and banished it.
Hands picked her up and moved her, and that hurt, sent pangs of pain bolting through her body, and she may have whimpered a bit, or maybe screamed. She didn’t know, she couldn’t hear very well, for some reason. Then she was set down and there was pressure and cold and warmth and hands doing things to her and Jack’s face above her, smiling through tears, a smile of offered bravery. They were inside somewhere, not a hospital, but a home, a wood ceiling high above her with a spinning fan, walls with paintings and posters. She was lying on a couch, a coffee table next to her, the dark-haired woman was kneeling beside her, moving her hands over Miriam’s body, not quite touching, her eyes closed and lips whispering silent words in a strange language. Every word the woman whispered sent bolts of cool relief coursing through Miriam’s body, the woman’s hands glowing in pulsing blue luminescence with the words and the waves of coolth. The woman knelt next to Miriam for what might have been hours, or minutes, or days, or seconds. Time was flowing past Miriam without touching her; all she saw was Jack’s face, looking down at her, worried and tender.
“I’m here, Miri,” she heard him say. Did he say it, though? Or was it in her mind?
Jack…stay with me. She used his words, tried to say them but they wouldn’t come out, so she sent them to him across the bond of magic that connected them. Don’t leave me, please. She knew he wouldn’t but she was so afraid of being alone, of sleep coming for her before she was ready.
“I’m here, Miriam,” he said, and this time it came both audibly and in her mind. “I won’t go anywhere. You’re going to be okay, I promise.”
She needed to tell him something, so he knew. She felt sleep coming anyway, despite her efforts to stave it off. She wasn’t afraid of this sleepiness, the way she had been before, but she had to tell him.
I love you, Jack. Had he heard her? He was silent, staring at her.
“I…I love you too, Miriam.” He said it back. He’d heard her. He loved her.
She slept.
* * *
Miriam awoke, snatches of memory flashing in her mind. She pressed her hands to her stomach, felt for the holes, the wounds, found nothing.
“You’re awake.” A woman’s voice, cool and smooth and strong. Miriam opened her eyes, looked around her, saw the apartment that she had caught fragmentary glimpses of earlier. It was a large loft, simply but tastefully furnished and decorated. She was still on the couch, and the woman was sitting in a deep purple chair that matched the couch Miriam lay on.
Miriam struggled to a sitting position, found it painful and difficult. “I wasn’t sure I would wake up,” Miriam admitted. “Thank you for saving me. I’m Miriam.” She was wearing a long black T-shirt that fell nearly to her knees
The woman nodded, “yes, I know who you are. And you’re welcome. I wouldn’t move around too much. I’ve healed you for the most part, but you’ll still be sore for a while. Healing isn’t exactly my specialty. I’m Nadira, by the way.”
“How do you know who I am?” Miriam asked.
Nadira laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry, that must’ve sounded kinda mysterious, huh? I just meant Jack told me about you while you were sleeping. He’s out getting us breakfast, by the way.”
“Oh,” Miriam said. “That was going to be my next question. Is he–is Jack okay?”
The woman gave Miriam a questioning look. “Of course, why wouldn’t he be?”
“Well he was shot first. He–he saved me from Ben, but he was shot, and I…I tried to heal him, but I think I ended up taking the wounds into myself somehow. I don’t really know.”
Nadira was shocked. “Wait, what? Tell me what happened, from the beginning.”
Miriam ran her fingers through tangled hair. “Well, the short version is that Ben cornered me in the garage, where you found us. Jack showed up in the nick of time–I’m not really sure how he found me, but he did, thank god–and in the process he got shot, and so did I. I didn’t realize it at first, though. I’d gone all…fiery, and I didn’t feel anything until after I’d gone back to normal, then I saw Jack lying on the ground and he was bleeding…I couldn’t–couldn’t watch him die. I’d healed him before, but never anything that bad. I don’t really know what happened, I was just so desperate, and I think the magic went too far.”
Nadira shook her head, confused. “So you healed him, but you ended up with his wounds? I didn’t even know that was possible. You’re a healer? What’s your element?”
“What? My what? What do you mean?”
“Your element. We’re elemental djinni, you and I. My element is water.”
Miriam shook her head. “I–I’m not sure what you mean, my element.”
“What form do your powers take? Earth, air, fire, or water?”
“Fire. When all the weird stuff happens, it’s always fire.”
“Weird stuff? Wait, you don’t…” Nadira tilted her head at Miriam, as if coming to a realization. “You weren’t raised in your powers? You don’t know what you are?”
Miriam shook her head and stammered. “No–I–no, I don’t. It all just started happening a few weeks ago, and I thought I was…I don’t know…”
Nadira laughed, but came over to sit next to Miriam, hugging her in sympathy. “Oh, honey. You poor thing. I’ve heard about people who didn’t know. Apparently it can be pretty dangerous.”
“Yeah, you could say that,” Miriam muttered, thinking of the Tigers game.
“Okay, well let’s start at the beginning, then.” Nadira stood up and pulled Miriam to her feet, handed her a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, which Miriam gladly put on, even if they didn’t fit. When she was dressed, Nadira led her to the kitchen and sat her down at a small round table. Nadira brought her a mug of coffee, which Miriam drank gratefully. “You are a djinn, an elemental djinn, to be precise. There’s a lot of different kinds, but that’s a different story for another time.
Elemental djinn use one of the four elements as the basis of their powers, plus the magic that is our birthright. You were probably born here in this realm to a human mother or father, with a djinn as the other parent. You may have been born here, but this isn’t your home-realm. There’s an entire world full of people like you and I, but…the passage between realms is difficult and dangerous, and only a few people even know how to make the transition. I’m probably just confusing, you, huh? Okay, go back. There are hundreds, if not thousands of djinni on Earth, scattered around the world. Most are aware of who and what they are, but they prefer to remain incognito. Some, like you, have no idea. I’m guessing one of your parents was either absent or very difficult to be around?”
Miriam nodded, her head spinning. “Yes, my…my mother. When my father…when Daddy died, she just…just left. And even before then, I never really knew her. She was just…secretive.”
“So she was where you got your djinni powers.”
“So I’m half? Half-djinn?”
Nadira laughed. “No, it doesn’t work like that. You’re either djinn or not. There’s no half. I don’t know why, that’s just the way it is. You were raised as a human, so this flesh-and-blood form is the most natural one for you to stay in, but it’s not actually your native form. You’ve gone full elemental?”
Miriam nodded. “Yeah, a few times. It’s scary and wonderful. I feel so powerful, but it’s scary because I have no real idea how to control anything. I almost destroyed Comerica Park because my powers got away with me, when I was…excited.”
Nadira laughed again. Her laugh sounded like music, like a a river splashing. There was actual magic in the way she laughed, Miriam realized, and felt a pang of jealousy that this woman had so much control over her powers. “Yeah, extreme emotions tend to make our powers go a bit haywire, if you’re not in complete control. I remember, when I was kid, my brother used to make me so mad, and I’d always lose my temper and he’d end up soaking wet and crying to Mom. He still does that, actually, and he still gets a good soaking.”
“You have a brother? And he’s…he’s a djinn too?” Miriam tried and failed to fathom what it would be like to have a brother at all, much less one who shared her powers.
“Yeah. He’s a water elemental too, but he was a slow learner. He was twelve before he could use his powers at will. I was in full control by the time I was six.”
“Can you teach me about mine?”
“To some degree. Every elemental is different in the way the powers work, but I can teach you the basics.”
“What about the other stuff…the magic?”
“Well that’s the easy part,” Nadira said. “You’ve just got to learn to bind them together. You’re probably split right now, so the elemental powers and the magic are like separate entities inside you, almost. You’ve got to weave them together, and then you’ll be able to control them both a lot better. I’ll warn you, it’s still hard. Even for me, and I’ve been in control my whole life. Keeping this form and using the magic and the element can be tricky. Everything wants to revert back to elemental form.” At that moment Jack walked in with two big brown paper bags full of styrofoam carryout containers.
“Miriam, you’re up!” Jack set the bags down on the coffee table and rushed over to her, wrapped his arms around her, kissed her cheeks and lips. “How do you feel?” Miriam was overwhelmed by the joy and affection he showed. She wasn’t used to such overt displays, and had to force herself to not retreat away from him. She put her arms around him and closed her eyes, let the emotions have their run through her. He loved her, openly and passionately, and that was something she’d have to get used to.
“I’m okay, Jack. Thanks to Nadira, I’m okay.” Jack brought the food over and unwrapped a spread of food from a local Coney Island diner that made Miriam’s mouth water. She hadn’t eaten in longer than she could remember, so she was ravenous. After she’d stuffed herself, she sat back, sipped another cup of coffee and related to Jack what Nadira had told her.
“So, you’re a djinn?” Jack asked.
“Yeah, it turns out Ben was right.” A shudder ran through Miriam as she said his name. She wanted to forget him, put him in the past and never think of him again. But, he had been right about her, in one sense, at least.
“Who is Ben?” Nadira asked.
Jack answered for Miriam. “Ben was that pile of bones. He was her ex-boyfriend.”
“So…what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” Jack started to answer again, but Miriam put her hand over his to silence him. It was her story to tell. She had intended to only tell the basics, but found herself opening up to Nadira, telling her more and more as she went, going back to her childhood, to her first boyfriend and then Nick and Ben and up to the present. It was a rush of words flooding out of her that she couldn’t stop, couldn’t slow or control. Miriam found it cathartic to unload everything that way, telling someone who would understand.
Nadira didn’t interrupt, and when the flood of words finally stopped, Nadira said, “You’ve had quite a life, haven’t you? You poor thing. Well, now you know what you are, and you’ve got Jack.”
Miriam glanced at Jack, who’d been silent while Miriam told her story, and she realized much of it was new to him. He was looking at her with something suspiciously like pity. “Don’t look at me like that, Jack. It was my life. It was what it was. Don’t you dare pity me.” Nadira glanced from Jack to Miriam, got up from the table and retreated to the bathroom, giving them privacy to talk.
“It wasn’t pity, Miriam,” Jack said. “It was…sympathy. It was me wishing I could’ve been there for it all. I wish I could go back and love you through all of it.”
That put a knot of emotion in Miriam’s throat, and she had to blink back tears and swallow past the knot to say, “Just love me now, Jack. Promise me things won’t change?”
Jack took her hand in his, and said, “I can’t promise you I won’t change at all, because life changes you. You’re afraid I’ll end up being just like Ben.” Miriam nodded, not quite able to look at him. “What I can promise you is that this is me. I’m not going to suddenly turn into somebody else. I love you.”
Miriam couldn’t contain the emotions any longer. She felt herself break open inside, pressure from years of being strong and keeping everything bottled in bursting out in a river of tears that she couldn’t stop. It wasn’t just Ben, it was her father’s death, her mother’s abandonment, the loneliness, the fear of herself and the confusion over her identity…it was so many things all bound up into a tangled mess of emotions that had no way of being expressed except through this explosion of sobbing. Miriam tried to stop it, hating the feeling of vulnerability, the embarrassment, but it was no use. Jack handed her a box of Kleenex and held her against his chest. His presence both comforted her and made the weeping all the more embarrassing.
“I’m sorry Jack,” she said, when she could speak again. “I’m not…not usually like this.”
Jack shook his head. “Miriam, listen to me. You don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to be emotional. It’s okay to let me see what you’re feeling.”
“No, it’s not,” Miriam said. “It’s not how I am. I swear I’ve cried more around you in the last few weeks than in all the rest of my life. I hate crying. I hate being weak–”
Jack cut her off. “Stop, Miri. Stop. For one thing, crying isn’t weakness. So much has changed so fast, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. I am, I’ll admit it. A month ago, I was alone, working in my cousin’s garage, and that was about it. Now, I have you, and I can’t imagine life without you. Since I met you…I swear I can’t remember what it was like when I didn’t know you. I swear to you I’ll love you as best I can. I’m not perfect, Miri. I’ll mess up, I’ll–make you mad, and do stupid shit. I will, but–whatever happens, I’ll be here with you. No matter what.”
She’d just met him, relatively speaking, but it felt like a lifetime had passed since Jack showed up to defend her from
Ben in that parking lot. Now, like Jack had said, she couldn’t imagine a day that didn’t contain Jack. “Jack. Oh, Jack.” She put her hand on his cheek, kissed his lips. “You’ve saved me, so many times. Not just from Ben, but from myself. I wasn’t sure love existed, honestly. Men have told me they love me, but their actions never match what they say. I don’t know how to love you, but I’ll try.”
Nadira came back, showered and dressed in her waitress uniform. “God, are you two done yet? You’re making me sick.” She was laughing as she said it, but something made Miriam think she wasn’t entirely kidding. “I’ve got to go to work, but you two are welcome to stay here as long as you want. Your handiwork in that parking garage won’t go unnoticed for long, and there’ll be cops looking for you. When I come back, we’ll talk about the best way to proceed, because explanations in cases like this can be…tricky. Just stay here, and make yourselves at home. I’m scheduled till 7 tonight, so I’ll be back not too long after that. Stay inside, don’t make any calls, and just wait for me.”
After Nadira had left, Jack and Miriam lay down on the couch, holding each other. Miriam felt a sense of peace steal over her, listening to Jack’s heart beat under her ear. But there was one question burning in her mind:
“How did you find me?” Miriam asked.
Jack didn’t answer right away. “Well…it’s a bit strange,” he admitted.
Miriam snorted a laugh, “Stranger than everything else that’s happened? Come on, Jack. This is me you’re talking to.”
Jack and Djinn Page 18
