I hurry inside, closing unlocked doors behind myself. Worn floors underfoot still smell musty like my childhood and my heart hurts. I could have helped her. I could have given her more. I should have gotten her out of here even if it means dragging her out of here by the hair.
I open her old door, unaware I’ve been holding my breath until my lungs blaze white hot and agonizing.
“Maman?” I whisper, looking around the barren, dirty room for my mother.
In the corner, wrapped in a blanket and curled up on a couch as old as the earth itself, is my mother.
She’s aged so much in the last few years. This tiny, frail creature barely resembles the women I left.
“Maman,” I say a little louder, rushing to her side. Dropping to my knees, I try to take her hand. But she covers her face and tries to push me away.
“Non,” she wails. “Go, go.”
“Maman,” I whisper, tears stinging in my eyes as her bony hands hide her face from my eyes. “Please, I need you to come with me. I need to get you out of here. You’re not safe here, Maman!”
I want to shake her as she continues to wail softly, the broken cry of a broken old woman.
My heart fractures into tiny shards as I continue to beg her, tears streaming freely down my face. With every refusal I see my life slipping away. I see myself forever imprisoned by Bassirou, forever a slave to a man I’ve come to abhor.
“S’il vous plaît, Maman,” I whisper, seeing how her hands shake, how tiny she is. She’s lost weight. The reasonably healthy women I knew is no more. In her place is this shell of a being, this paper-skinned aging woman wailing incoherently.
Chapter 21
Hayden
I finish up my work and shut down my computer. Judy has already gone home for the day, and my mind is going a million miles a minute. I’ve got to track Sabine down. And I know right where I’m going to start… she’d mentioned growing up in the Goutte d’Or. If she’d gone back, I assume she’s there.
I’m going to go get her. If not to bring her back, at least to talk to her. To find out what went wrong. To find out why she up and left without even saying goodbye or telling me she was going.
Maybe it is rehab. In that case, I’ll do everything in my power to help and support her.
I step out of my office, noting the dark building. Everyone is gone. Hell, the only reason I’m still here was just to make sure I tied up all loose ends before leaving on a short vacation. I walk past the conference room and hear J.D.’s voice ring out.
“Hayden.”
I turn to face my brother, knowing that this is not going to be easy.
He motions me to follow him into the dark conference room we’d talked in not that long ago when he’d told me I have to break things off for now. I sit as he hovers over me. Releasing one of the two buttons holding my suit, I relax back, stretching my legs under the table.
“Look,” J.D says, “I know we haven’t talked about this, but I’m worried about you.”
“We did talk about that,” I say, knowing perfectly well what he’s saying. He means we haven’t talked about the actual relationship. And that’s precisely how I want things.
“Don’t pull that shit,” J.D. says, running a hand through his close-cropped hair. He’s got a bit of stubble now, and I’m wondering if it’s a choice or if he’s just been putting off shaving. It’s not a terrible look. “You’re fucking around with a woman who you admit has singlehandedly pulled you back into drugs.”
“It’s pot, dude. Not coke. Fucking calm your tits, man.” I slam the heel of my hand down on the table, and he jolts.
“This girl is bad for you; you make bad choices with her!” He sounds pissed. “I don’t want to lose you again.”
Leaning forward, I glare him down. “Look, I can’t tell you what it is. All I can say is this woman … it’s not about her looks, her singing, where she’s from, none of that superficial shit.” I stare at my hands, hating this invisible power she has over me.
Spreading my palms wide, I wish I could put it all into words. “She’s… she’s fucking, I don’t’ know, man. There’s something about her. I need her more than any drug. I need to keep her safe, need to protect her from someone who’s fucking with her. I need to know she’s safe, that she’s happy.” My hands are shaking a little, and I slip them under the table and shove them down my legs, gripping above my knees so hard I feel bruises begin to form. “I fucking need to know she’s okay.”
J.D. says nothing.
“She didn’t say anything before she left?”
I hear the hesitation in his voice.
“Nothing. Not a text, not a call. It’s fucking weird, man. I’m worried.” I let out a sigh of relief. I hadn’t shared this with anyone, and it’s been fucking eating me up. “Her manager, this French fuck treats her like shit. He got the plane tickets, I know it.”
“Back to France?”
I nod.
“Do you have a place to start?” He leans forward, planting his elbows on his legs and rubbing his hands together while staring down at the floor.
“She told me she grew up in a neighborhood called Goutte d’Or. I was going to start there.” It’s weak, but it’s all I’ve got.
“The shareholders are worried,” he says suddenly.
I glance up, studying him. In the shadows of the dark room, his face is mostly hidden by darkness.
“The board of directors is asking questions.” His voice is quiet. He lifts his gaze to meet mine. “Is this girl worth losing everything for?”
The loaded question makes me pause.
What would my life be without Sabine?
“If you go, I can’t promise you anything when you get back.” J.D. sounds crushed and I know he’s fighting his own issues. I want to ask how long he’s known about this, how long he’s been struggling with the board, how long he’s been protecting me.
At the same time, I can’t help but wonder.
Is my life worth living if I don’t have her?
I think on my time before Sabine. It’s a void, a dark place I didn’t know the depths of. I existed to work. I lived to be here at a desk. It wasn’t living. It was never living. I merely existed before her.
The thought of going back to life without her leaves me feeling … empty.
“I have to do this,” I say softly, knowing full well what I’m potentially giving up. “Not for the drugs, either.” I don’t give a fuck about the drugs. I’ll quit for good even if we wind up together and she continues to use. She’s the thing I can’t live without. She’s the thing that makes me feel alive, not the pot.
He’s silent a moment, studying my face like he’s searching for answers. Then, he nods. “I understand,” he says, standing up. I follow suit, and he pulls me into a bear hug. We clap each other on the shoulders, and I take a deep breath.
When we back off, he squeezes my shoulder. “I’ll do anything I can to help.” His voice sounds strong in the quiet space. “I’ll cover for you as best I can, brother.”
I hug him again, feeling hope.
Thank you,” I say, feeling like I can do this.
He nods, and I head for the door. When I glance back, he’s standing, a hand on the back of a chair, his head lowered like he’s deep in thought. His shoulders are a bit slumped and I know he’s struggling with the weight of what I’m doing.
And it hits me; this might very well be my last time in this office.
I lift my head, scanning the space. I think back on the years spent here, this whole project, the scope of the business we built. And I think about no longer being a part of it. It’s a crushing thought ….
Until I close my eyes and think about Sabine’s smile.
That little playful grin before she tells a dirty joke. The way she throws her head back and laughs so hard her whole body moves. How she sings and pulls emotions out of me I didn’t know I could feel.
And I move forward, walking toward the door with big steps. And as the door closes be
hind me, as this chapter of my life closes, I feel peace in the night air. With a deep breath, I hail a cab and tell the driver to take me to the airport.
I’ve got a plane to catch.
I’ve got a woman to see.
I’ve got a life to start living.
Chapter 22
Sabine
Maman’s wails have eased up to soft sobbing and I cling to her bony shoulders, crying with her.
“We have to go,” I whisper. “You have to come with me.” My heart is breaking more every second as she refuses to go.
I feel a hand grabbing my arm and glance up into the dark eyes of Bassirou. My heart sinks to my toes and fear bubbles up in my gut.
“You’re a slippery thing,” he snarls, yanking me to my feet. He pulls me against him, winding an arm around my waist. “Gotta keep a tighter grip.”
His lips come down hard on mine, and I shove him, trying to free myself of his hateful grasp. He doesn’t budge, but he stops kissing me.
“You’re mine now,” he whispers into my ear. “Anything I want, you do. Anything I tell you, you do. Anything.”
A shiver of hatred rolls through me, and ugly thoughts start circling in my mind.
“You’re a monster,” I say, giving voice to the kindest thought.
He laughs. “I’m not a monster. I want what’s best for both of us. Don’t you know that?”
My heart drops. He can’t possibly believe that.
“This is what’s best?” I ask softly, gesturing at my mother, shaking and sobbing while he holds me tightly. Staring up at him, I see some of the evil leave his eyes. For just a second the madness lifts, but just like that it slams back down and he shakes his head.
“You don’t know what’s best for you. I always took care of you. I always loved you. I did what was best for you.” The unsettling expression on his face leaves my heart thumping hard. He’s lost it. This isn’t the Bassirou I knew. This imposter is beyond reason, beyond talking, but what else can I do? What else can I try?
“Bassirou, you’re holding me, prisoner. You’re threatening my mother,” I whisper, praying I can get through to him even as icy terror washes through me. What is he going to do next? Where do we go from here? Does he really believe he can hold me prisoner forever? That he can just threaten me with my mother forever? What kind of life is this?
“I’ll do anything for you,” he snarls. “I’ll do anything to protect you.”
“Except let me make my own choices. Bassirou, this isn’t you.” I say in a calm, even voice. I don’t want to stoke the fire, but some part of me still hopes I can get through to him. It’s a losing battle. I know this. But I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t try.
He doesn’t say anything, and I sense he’s shut down. That he’s beyond hearing my words. But still, I have to try.
“You need help,” I whisper.
He shakes his head violently. “You need help. You thought that stupid rich fuck deserved you. You forgot what we came from. You forgot who you were, who got you there. You disrespected me, cheated on me—”
“Cheated on you?” I ask, shoving away from him. He lets me go this time, and I glare him down. How dare he try to say I cheated on him? How do you cheat on someone you’re not with? We were never together.
“Cheated on me,” he says, nodding his head like it’s a well-known fact.
His ‘fact’ reeks of bullshit, and I call him out on it. “We were never together. I was very clear—”
“You were mine the second I saved your life, Sabine,” He roars, and I dance back a step, terrified. He advances, dangerous as a rabid bear.
He moves so close I can feel his body heat, feel his fury. I can feel his breath on my face as he snarls, “You owe me.”
“She doesn’t owe you a damn thing.”
Hayden!
We both glance toward the door. I’m stunned, terrified. He’s going to get hurt. This is not going to end well, I know it.
I slip away from Bassirou, putting some space between us while trying to get my bearings.
I’m so glad to see Hayden, but I’m mad too. He shouldn’t have come. He shouldn’t have risked himself and inadvertently risked my mother. Of course, he doesn’t know the situation, but it was stupid of him not to recognize the threat of Bassirou.
Bassirou is unhinged.
There’s no way out of this.
“Are you okay, Sabine?” Hayden asks me, not taking his eyes off Bassirou for a second.
Am I okay? Hell, no I’m not okay. But I know what he’s asking. He’s worried I’m hurt. And I am, but considering everything, I’m okay.
“Yes,” I say softly. I can’t take my eyes off Hayden. There’s darkness under his eyes, tired lines creasing his face, and he looks like he’s been through hell. But he’s here. He’s here for me, to protect me.
Both men continue to glare each other down, but I only have eyes for Hayden.
“How did you find me?” I whisper.
A little smile tugs the corners of his lips. “You told me. You were so ashamed of where you came from, but it’s part of you, Sabine. It’s not a bad thing.”
My heart swells with warmth, then starts to ache. He remembers. He was listening to me that day. Some small part of me was sure he was just brushing off everything I said, that it wasn’t important enough to make a difference for him. That it might not be worth remembering.
Maybe I wasn’t fair.
“You better turn around and leave now, putain,” Bassirou snarls. “This is my city, my house. My woman,” he adds and my stomach twists.
“I was never yours, Bassirou. I will never be yours.” It feels good to say the words. I draw strength from Hayden’s presence. Hope flows into my veins and I finally feel like not all is lost. This can still work out.
And when it all works out, I want to be leaving with Hayden. I want to know my mom will be safe, but I want my life to be with Hayden. Without fear of Bassirou. Without living under anyone’s thumb.
“The lady has spoken,” Hayden says to Bassirou, spreading his hands a bit. The deceptively easy gesture feels like a warning. Before I can figure out what he’s saying without words, I see a flash, movement from Bassirou and glance at him. Light glints off metal and I recognize the wicked blade in his hand. He’s had that switchblade since his days on the street corner. Stunned, I don’t hesitate; I just react.
I rush to my mother. Wrapping my arms around her like I can protect her with my very body, I squeeze my eyes closed.
Chapter 23
Hayden
The crazy bastard turns to Sabine, who’s draped over a small, frail woman. This must be her mother. And her actions are very telling.
Everything clicks in my mind: she’s here with Bassirou because the sick fuck threatened her mother. There’s no other reason she’d be protecting her mother like a meat shield. She thinks he’s going to hurt her mother.
My blood boils. It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to tear into him and show him his knife and street upbringing is nothing to what I know.
“You’ll never be one of them,” he tells her, gesturing toward me without looking at me. “You and me, we’re from the same world. It’s not that one,” he shouts, waving crazily at my direction.
Sabine peeks back at him, then turns to face him. She’s very careful to position herself between the man and her mother and my heart aches for what this asshole must have put her through. But I know that she needs to hear this. She needs to make her own choice. I’ll keep her safe, but she’s got to be the one to say this has to stop.
Bassirou keeps going, shouting at the room in general. “Look where you came back to! This place, this hell, this is you.”
Her expression shifts, and I see her mother move a little behind her.
“This is where you belong. Not in America. Not with him!” Bassirou’s shout is punctuated by a yelping dog in the distance.
Sabine turns to me. The tears sparkling in her eyes overflow down her face. �
��He’s right,” she says, her voice hoarse. “You should go.”
I’m shaking my head slowly, but she’s not looking at me anymore. She’s staring at a spot on the dirty floor.
“This is no place for you. Go home.” Her shoulders slump under the weight he’s put on her and all I want is to really make her understand everything. Starting with honesty about how I feel.
“Your face is my homeland,” I say.
Bassirou’s mouth drops open as she rushes me. Opening my arms, I hold her as she flings her weight into me and wraps her legs around my hips. Her tears wet my shirt, and she clings to me like there’s nowhere else in this world for her.
“I should have given you more,” I whisper. “I should have let you in like you let me in.”
Her feet touch the floor and we cling to one another. “I’m sorry you went through all of this. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”
She lifts her head, her lips touching mine for a brief second.
And that tiny kiss tells me everything.
Over her shoulder, I see Bassirou watching us, hatred simmering in his eyes. I let her go and she clings to me a second longer, gathering herself. I pet her hair gently and she finally let's go, sniffling softly.
Everything is so much clearer. Memories flash through me.
Sabine’s tight smile. Telling me I was the devil himself because she’d had 100 million streams on SXz, but hardly any payoff. Now I understand why.
Sabine’s hands claw my jacket as she tries to hold me back, as she tries to pull me away from the real demon that’s been plaguing her life.
I pull free.
I walk right up to Bassirou. I can see his face tighten as he grips the shank. I feel the blade touch my stomach four inches to the side of my navel. We stand there for moment, my eyes locked on his as I silently tell him the next move is his.
Hardwired: A Billionaire and Virgin Romance (Tech Titans Book 2) Page 9
