by Nana Malone
Zach
Zach let himself back into his flat, throwing his keys on the foyer table before walking to the kitchen. He had spent hours driving around London, attempting to clear his head of what had happened tonight, wanting to get drunk but not willing to go into a pub to do so. Even his own clubs had lost their appeal tonight. He didn’t want to deal with anyone except Emma and she wasn’t here. He didn’t even know if she was going to come back and the pain was much more than he could deal with.
“I was wondering if you were going to find your way back.”
Zach looked at Steven lounging on the bar stool, a shot glass and fine bottle of whiskey sitting in front of him, nearly half of it already gone. “What? You worried I was going to do something stupid? Or are you disappointed that I didn’t do something stupid?”
Steven shook his head as Zach grabbed a highball glass and poured himself a good measure full, throwing it back without stopping. The liquid burned his throat as it slid down, dulling some of the pain he felt in his jaw thanks to Steven’s right hook. He deserved it. He had gone and betrayed his best mate’s trust by shagging his sister. He deserved a hell of a lot worse actually, but the way that Steven was looking at him, he doubted it was going to happen tonight or any night.
“No, not you,” Steven finally said, pouring another shot before knocking it back with a grimace. “Maybe back in the day but you are far too levelheaded to do something stupid now.”
Zach chuckled, grabbing the bottle and pouring another glass. Steven knew him well. “Maybe.” Shagging Emma had been the most daring thing he had done in a long time and look where it got him. A jagged hole where his heart had been.
“So do you love her?”
Zach’s hand stopped halfway to his mouth, the glass shaking slightly. How could he have this conversation with Emma’s brother? Bloody hell, he needed a great deal more alcohol to have that happen. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he finally said, downing the fiery liquid.
“Bloody hell,” Steven muttered, rubbing the top of his head with his hand. “Just answer the fucking question all right? Do you love my sister?”
Zach thought about the first time he had seen Emma in a new light, perhaps the night she was in his club, unaware that he was even around. It had happened pretty quickly for him as well. Why, he didn’t know. But for a short while, he was the luckiest bastard in all of London. “Hell. I love her. I know I don’t deserve her. She snuck her way in when I least expected her to and I am a fucking mess.”
“That’s Em,” Steven said softly with a wry chuckle.
“I don’t fucking deserve her,” Zach said, rolling his shoulders as he started to feel the effects of whiskey. He had never really been a heavy drinker and the way he was throwing down these glasses, he was going to be passed out before the night was through. “I never did.” She was too good for him. He was a fucking loser, a man who had been forced to build his own life while she had experienced the best life growing up that most would take for granted. And he had touched her, fallen in love with her. She deserved a hell of a lot better than him.
Steven sighed, staring at his glass with a frown on his face. “No, you don’t deserve her. She’s my sister and she deserves the best fucking guy on the planet.” He then grinned, shaking his head as he filled Zach’s glass once more. “But of all the guys that she could have picked, I’m glad it was you. You’re my best mate and I can’t think of anyone else I would rather date my sister than you, Zach.”
Zach was stunned. Him? He was a nobody. “But Ben …” She was never going to forgive him of that.
Steven’s face clouded with emotion, grief filling his eyes. “Zach, you didn’t kill him, mate. I need you to forgive yourself.”
“What? Like your family forgives me?”
Steven shook his head. “My mum, she’s just so mired in her grief she can’t see the truth of it. Any coldness you feel is just that you remind them of him. You are the one who needs to forgive yourself. He killed himself. That’s the real truth. From what I heard, you tried to stop him numerous times and he refused to listen. Ultimately it was Ben who climbed behind that wheel, not you. There’s no person alive that would blame you for such a thing. I shouldn’t have said what I said earlier. I don’t blame you for what happened. And maybe it’s time for you to quit doing that as well.”
Zach looked into his whiskey, his thoughts churning. He had tried to stop Ben that night, numerous times. The guilt of allowing him to walk out of that door still ate him alive yet Steven was telling him that it wasn’t his fault. Zach didn’t feel that way. It had to be his fault, right?
Steven must have seen the indecision on his face because he clapped his shoulder with his hand and looking him squarely in the eye. “There are nights I lie in my bed, thinking of all the ways I failed him and you. I know what you are dealing with Zach. And it’s eating you alive. It’s time to let it go.”
“Me?” Zach asked, surprised. “How in the hell did you fail me?” Steven had always been there for him, helping him haul his father’s arse home when he’d been so belligerent Zach couldn’t do it himself. Steven had been the one to listen and rally behind him when he had first drummed up the idea of his first club. Hell, Steven had taken time off that he could have spent with his family to come to his grand opening of Club Thames. If anything, Zach had let his mate down by sleeping with Emma, not the other way around.
Steven gave a little shrug, dropping his hand from Zach’s shoulder. “Your father was shit and we all knew it. I should have stepped in more and I am sorry for that. We let you deal with the worst of it by yourself and it shouldn’t have happened.”
Zach let out a laugh, thinking the last thing Steven could have done was stop his father. It was Steven’s friendship and the time with the Welsh family that had kept him sane all those years. “Mate, you couldn’t do anything different for me.”
“Still,” Steven said with a sigh, “your past doesn’t define you. It shouldn’t define you. Look at you: making millions, living in a fancy flat, and now in love with my sister. The world is your oyster Zach and it’s time for you to start thinking of your future, not the fucking past that is clearly driving you insane.” Steven chuckled then and shook his head. “Who would have ever thought any of this would happen?”
Zach sure hadn’t. For a while his life was fucking spectacular and it had been due to Emma. “I’ve lost your sister,” he said, wincing as the pain in his chest grew larger. It wasn’t going to subside. He would spend the rest of his miserable life with that pain. There would never be another Emma. No one could replace her. He just hoped that he wouldn’t see her out in a few years, happy and with another bloke. It might be the end of him if he did.
Steven grabbed his shot glass and laughed. “Have you forgotten who we are talking about? No one dictates to my sister, least of all me. I might have stepped in tonight and tried to tell her how to live her life, but it’s far from what she is actually going to do.”
Zach couldn’t disagree. Emma was a headstrong woman and was going to do whatever the hell she wanted to do. The question was, how was he going to get back into her good graces? She knew all his dirty secrets now, what type of person he was. There was no way Emma could even like him, much less love him now.
“If you love her,” Steven said, pouring another shot glass, “you are going to have to go after her. I would make sure you have all your shit in line when you do. She’s not going to let you off lightly my friend and I hope you know how to sweet-talk her back because I sure as hell don’t.”
Zach looked at him, his heart hammering in his ears. “Is this your blessing?” He wouldn’t touch her again if Steven said that he wasn’t behind this relationship. The last thing he wanted to do was cause a rift between brother and sister.
Steven gave him a grin. “Yeah, I’m cool with it. Like I said, of all the people she could have picked, I’m glad it was you, Zach.” He let out a breath, looking slightly ill. “Hell, I am going to have to go gro
vel myself so don’t try and show me up, okay?”
Zach grinned then, some of the pressure in his chest easing. He might not deserve Emma, but he sure as hell needed her. The question was, was she willing to take him back after everything she knew about him? What lengths would he go to have her back?
27
Emma
Emma opened the door to her flat and immediately shut it, fuming as a knock sounded on the door again. “Come on Em, open up. I’ve got all of your favorites here.”
Steven’s voice was muffled by the door, the smell of her favorite warm sandwich now wafting through the crack below the door. She hadn’t spoken to her brother since that day, which was now three days later. It had taken some time to even get out of bed without crying, her heart aching every time she thought about Zach and the look on his face before she had fled the room. He really assumed that he had caused Ben’s death. It was ridiculous to think that, even if he hadn’t been able to stop her brother from putting his life in danger.
“The food’s getting cold,” Steven said. “You know you are hungry.”
Emma gripped the doorknob and pulled the door back open, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest. “What are you attempting to do?”
Steven held up the paper bag. “Apologize? Feed you? The possibilities are endless at this point.”
Emma laughed and stepped aside, unable to be mad at Steven for long. They had always been extremely close, only becoming closer after Ben died. “Come on in and start your groveling, brother.”
Steven came in and she shut the door, following him into her main space, which was currently littered with tissues and takeout boxes. Sappy love movies had been on all day and Emma had been unable to stop herself from watching the marathon, thinking of Zach the entire time. “Um, sorry about the mess.”
Steven sat the bag on the counter and pulled her into a hug, awkwardly patting her back. “If it makes you feel any better, Zach is a fucking wreck as well.”
Her heart squeezed at the mere mention of his name. No, it didn’t make her feel any better. She wrapped her arms around her brother and laid her head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under her cheek. She loved her brother and when he was gone, a small piece of her left with him. “I’ve tried to hate you both yet I can’t find the heart to do so.”
Steven returned her hug, a heavy sigh escaping his body. “I’m sorry, Em. I was an arse for saying the things I said. You couldn’t do any better than Zach. He’ll treat you like a princess.”
She didn’t want to be treated like a princess. She wanted to be loved by Zach. Zach could be penniless and living in a hovel and she would still want to be with him. “I miss him,” she said, sniffing against the onslaught of tears. “I love him, Steven. So help me God, I love him so much.”
“I know,” Steven said as he pulled away from her. “And he’s a mess without you, little sister. I was wrong. I was mad at the fact that he had taken advantage of you, but now I see that wasn’t the case. He did exactly what I was asking him to do, though I doubt he even anticipated this happening.”
Emma thought about how reluctant Zach had been in the beginning, how he must have wrestled with the fact that Steven had asked him to look after her yet there was a connection there that wasn’t going away. Now she understood. What she didn’t understand was why he thought he was directly responsible for Ben’s death. Stepping out of her brother’s embrace, Emma wrapped her arms around herself. “He didn’t kill him.”
“Of course not,” Steven said, a frown on his face. “Ben killed Ben. But Zach has felt guilty all these years for no reason at all. He’s made something of himself and it is unfortunate that our brother chose his club of all places that night to have his last night. I don’t understand why Zach thinks it was his fault. No one would place that blame on him. All he ever wanted to do was be part of our family.”
Emma rubbed a hand over her face tiredly, knowing that Steven was right. Zach had beat himself up for no reason at all. All because of the words his father used to spit at him.
“He loves you.”
She looked at her brother, her breath stuttering in her chest. The words stunned her, even though in her heart she had hoped they were true. “What?”
Steven gave her a grin. “Even if he hadn’t admitted it, I can see it written all over his face. Zach loves you Emma. I think he believes you can’t be together. Why, I don’t know. I need for you to go and put my mate out of his misery and tell him that you love him for God’s sake. I’ve given my bloody blessing in case you are wondering and I haven’t hit him but that one time, I swear it.”
Emma’s mind was whirling with questions and concerns, glad that the two of them hadn’t come to more blows over this whole mess. Zach loved her. Did he really? Hadn’t she known it all along anyway? She could feel it in his embraces, his kisses, the way he loved her so completely. Yes, she knew Zach loved her even if he didn’t want to admit it. What would she say if she saw him again? Would he come out and tell her or would she have to coax it out of him after some time had passed? Either way, she wanted to be with Zach and he would know directly that she was in love with him.
“He thinks he doesn’t deserve you,” Steven said, reaching into the bag for the food he brought. “Which I also told him was a bunch of bullshit as well. I don’t think he’s going to come after you, Emma.”
“Well then,” Emma said, giving her brother a slight smile. “I guess I am going to have to go after him then.” She wanted Zach. She wanted the chance to tell him how she felt and if he wasn’t going to come this way, she would have to go to him. It was time to put up or shut up.
Emma
Emma stepped into the darkened club, her palms damp and her heart thudding in her ears. After three attempts to find Zach, she had finally succeeded with this club, the man out front telling her that yes, Zach was inside, prepping for tonight’s crush of people. After a few pounds, he had let her in.
Now she stood in the empty club, about to either walk away with the man she loved or walk away period. If Zach stood his ground and refused to admit that he loved her, she was walking away, moving on with her life. She had cried enough tears over this man.
A man came down the stairs that led to the second floor, his eyes widening as he spied her alone on the empty dance floor. “Can I help you?”
Emma swallowed her fears. “I am here to see Zach.”
The man walked over to her, no expression on his face. “I’m sorry, he’s not here.”
She gave him a look. “Don’t lie to me. I know he’s here. The guy out front told me so.”
The man rolled his eyes and Emma fought the urge to laugh. “We have got to get better security. I’m sorry, he is here but he’s busy. He requested no one bother him today. You’re going to have to come back when the club is open and you might just get lucky enough to see him then.”
Emma took a step forward, her eyes searching his. “Listen, I am seeing him today. You got that?” She was in no mood to be stopped today. Today was either going to be a great day or the worst day of her life and this guy wasn’t going to stop her. She wasn’t above resorting to yelling Zach’s name.
“Ms. Welsh, I’m Jason,” he finally said, sticking out his hand, a grin now on his face. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
Emma frowned, confused. “Nice to meet you, Jason. How did you know who I was?”
Jason chuckled softly. “Darling, Zach has been watching you since you arrived at his club that first night. He’s fucking in love with you. Trust me, I know who you are.”
Emma felt the warmth of yet another person confirming what she had hoped, giving her the drive to keep on going. She wasn’t leaving here until she talked with Zach and he either confirmed it for himself or kicked her out. Either way, she would get an answer from him. If she could find him. “Can you tell me where Zach is then?”
Jason gave her a smile, releasing her hand. “He’s upstairs. Take it easy on him. He’s n
ot the best day today but I’m sure it’s starting to look up. He’s been through hell these last few days.”
“I will,” she said, giving him her own smile. He brushed past her before turning back, giving her a wink. “And make sure he sleeps. He looks like death warmed over. I’ll make sure no one bothers you for a while. If you need something, just holler.”
“Not a problem,” she said, laughing before walking over to the stairs. They both would sleep well tonight if he told her what she wanted to hear. She could do this. She could make this right between them. He just had to participate. There was not a bone in her body that wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing at this moment.
28
Zach
Zach heard the soft treads on the stairs, ignoring the fact that Jason was probably coming back to tell him how fucking bad he looked again. He knew how bad he looked. Hell, he hadn’t been able to sleep properly in days, since Emma walked out of his life. His days had consisted of work, throwing himself into his work and attempting to forget that his life was a bloody mess. His nights, those were the hardest. He preferred not to think about the nights.
“Zach.”
His head shot up as he took in Emma standing in the doorway, and his heart seizing in his chest. She was here. Emma was here, in his club, staring at him with those gorgeous eyes of hers. She looked like an angel, her hair all about her shoulders like a red cloud, her curvy body draped in a pair of black pants and silky white top that left her shoulders bare and had his cock hard as a rock. He could just eat her up right where she stood. The effect she had on him was electric. “Em.” His voice came out in a plea as he stood behind his desk, clearing his throat and attempted to get a grip. “What are you doing here?”
