by Amber Garza
Maybe because I knew what kind of guy I would become if I did. A grown man who bullied women. Who treated them like dirt and pushed them around. Or worse yet, a man who picked on children. Yeah, I’d had my fair share of bumps and bruises inflicted on me from the revolving door of men in and out of my mom’s life. And I’d seen my mom get treated like shit more times than I could count. Ryan got roughed up by his dad, but it turned him hard. I suspected he’d end up being an abuser himself. The abuse I’d experienced had had the opposite effect on me. It had made me more empathetic, more protective. But mostly, more determined to be different than them.
That’s why I bent down and scooped up the orange feathers. After the girl bumped into me, I held them out to her. They were soft in my palm. Her hat was so large it obscured her face, but then she stood up straight and looked right at me. When I recognized her I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Her fingers were cold when they snatched the feathers from my hand.
“Chloe?” It was shocking to see her here, of all places. I hadn’t even realized she went to my school. The outfit she wore was definitely a different look than the skimpy bathing suit. Her face was just as beautiful as I remembered, though, with her large brown eyes and plump, heart-shaped lips. In fact, tonight her lips were even more tempting, coated in red lipstick. The attraction I felt for her shook me to the core.
“And you’re Holden, right?”
“Right.” I glanced out at the rest of the marching band on the field. I knew the other football players probably noticed me standing out here talking to Chloe, and that made my stomach knot. Ryan would give me so much shit if he knew this was the girl I’d been practically stalking at the gym. Who knew she was in the marching band? When I met her she was outgoing and brash, not at all what I pictured a band girl to be like. Conflicted, my gaze rested on Chloe once again. I wanted to tell her how glad I was to see her. I wanted to tell her that I’d been looking for her every night since we’d met. But the words died on my lips. All I could see was that damn uniform, the large hat that was askew on her head, and the instrument she held in her hand. “You better get back out there. Wouldn’t want you to miss your…um…performance or whatever.” I mentally kicked myself for the lame statement, but seriously what did they call it? I’d never even watched the marching band before. I’d never given them much thought at all.
I could see in her eyes that I’d said the wrong thing. Darkness flickered in them, and she dropped her head. “Yeah,” she muttered, before whirling around and hurrying off.
I watched her retreating back for a moment before spinning around and making my way off the field. Instruments sounded behind me as I headed toward the locker room. The rest of the team was already there gathered around the coach. A few of them glanced over curiously at me when I entered. Ryan’s eyebrows shot up, confirming that he’d seen me talking to Chloe. I nodded my head in his direction, keeping my expression neutral. Our team was on fire tonight, so Coach’s peptalk was pretty upbeat. In the distance I could faintly hear the sounds of the band playing. Normally it was like white noise or the soundtrack to a movie. I knew it was back there, but I didn’t pay attention to it. But tonight I found my ears perking, found myself honing in on it. A part of me wanted to leave the locker room and watch the show. I was curious what it was like, curious what Chloe looked like when she played. But I knew I’d never watch it. The razzing would be endless. Besides, I needed to forget about Chloe. It was one thing when she was a girl at the gym. But now that I knew she went to my school and she was in the marching band, everything had changed. I knew it shouldn’t have, but it did.
We were too different. We ran in opposite circles. It would never work.
“Hey, I was starting to worry that maybe you were gonna join the halftime show.” Ryan jogged beside me, helmet in hand, as we made our way back outside after Coach’s talk.
“No way, man. I’ll leave that to the professionals,” I bantered back, gripping my helmet so tight it cut into the flesh on my fingers. Other players whisked past us, the scent of sweat filling my senses.
“Professionals?” Ryan snorted. “Don’t you mean the nerds?”
A snide comment stuck in my throat, but I forced a grin and changed the subject. “C’mon, man, let’s get out there and win this game!”
“Hell yeah.” Ryan slapped me on the back as we stepped onto the field. The turf crunched beneath my cleats, the lights warm as they shone down on me. A symphony of voices spun around me, causing my pulse to quicken. There was nothing quite like the energy of a packed stadium during a game when we were winning. My gaze swept the place. I told myself I was only trying to gauge how many people were here, but I knew that was a lie. I was looking for one person in particular.
I was searching for her.
It was not surprising that we won the game. Honestly, we could’ve stopped before half-time. There was no way they were going to make a comeback. Of course, the Ravens weren’t much competition. We beat them every year, and I’d yet to see them get any better. Still, a win was a win, and I would celebrate it. Not quite the way Ryan was planning to celebrate though. The minute we got changed out of our uniforms Ryan was all over me like stink on crap.
“There’s a huge party tonight out at the lake. You have to come.”
I shook my head. “Nah.”
“Come on, man. What else do you have going on?” He ran a hand through his sweaty hair.
“Mom wants me home, okay?” Playing the mom card always worked. The truth was that my mom had always been on the strict side. All the guys knew it. But she’d gotten a little more lax since marrying James. Still, I used her as an excuse whenever I could.
“Fine.” Ryan blew out a resigned breath. “Your loss.”
I was sure that wasn’t the case, but I nodded as if I was bummed. Going to a party at the lake was the last thing I wanted to do tonight. I was tired and my shoulder was throbbing. What I wanted to do was go home and ice it. Getting drunk with a bunch of guys at the lake didn’t appeal to me at all right now. The last party I went to ended with me dragging Ryan’s drunk ass back to my house while he puked all over the inside of my car. I spent all day Saturday cleaning it. Just the memory turned my stomach.
After saying goodbye to some of the guys, I headed out to the parking lot. The air had cooled down and a slight breeze blew over my damp skin, causing me to shiver. Goosebumps rose on my arms. It was dark with only the light from the streetlamps illuminating the ground around me. The parking lot had cleared out somewhat, but there were still a lot of cars left. Groups of people chatted near their vehicles and some couples made out. I glanced toward the band room and saw students wheeling equipment through the open doors.
Three girls stepped outside, heads bent together, deep in conversation. I instantly recognized the middle girl as Chloe. Her hair was down now and bounced around her shoulders. Gone was the band uniform, and in its place she wore jeans and a tight t-shirt that showed off her curves. One of the girls said something and she threw her head back, a stream of laughter floating from her lips. It carried on the breeze, reaching my ears. I stopped walking, mesmerized by her. Even from this distance I could see her eyes sparkling under the bright lights spilling from the band room. Preston walked toward the girls, pushing his glasses up his nose with one hand while carrying an instrument case in the other. He stopped and said something to Chloe, and she shot him a genuine smile when she replied. I’d gone to school with Preston for years, and rarely did I see anyone treat him nicely. The kid had always been different. Ryan picked on him relentlessly. For the most part I’d ignored him, but that didn’t stop me from hearing all the rumors about him. Seeing Chloe treat him with respect and kindness endeared me to her further.
The smile on Preston’s face when he walked away from her betrayed that she’d cast the same spell on him that she had on me. How had she done that? I wasn’t easily tempted by girls, let me tell you. What made her so different?
Her head swiveled in my direction,
her gaze locating me. I stiffened when our eyes locked from across the parking lot. The pull to her was so strong it was like a magnet, and it kept me rooted in place, unable to look away. It was like her gaze was a vortex and it was sucking me in. Seriously, what was with this chick? Headlights lit up the path in front of me, and a car honked. I flinched, cursing under my breath. Then I severed the connection between Chloe and me and moved out of the way. Without looking behind me, I hurried toward my car. That girl was messing with my mind, and I wasn’t sure it was such a good thing.
Yet I felt powerless against it.
CHAPTER 6
Chloe
My parents were gym rats. Their idea of a fun activity pretty much always included a trip to the gym. It’s probably why my mom was so thin and my dad was so buff. I, on the other hand, hated to work out. It was my least favorite thing to do. I’d rather stay home and play my instrument. But I knew better than that. The Martins did things as a family. Whether it was going to the gym, going grocery shopping, or eating out. We went as a group. It used to drive my brother nuts. He could never understand why he couldn’t stay home and play video games while my parents went out. For years he fought them on it, but they were adamant. If Mom and Dad went somewhere, so did my brother and me. That’s why I didn’t bother fighting them on it. If Cole’s whining and arguing didn’t work, then mine wouldn’t either.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents went on dates occasionally. They had a good marriage. But for everyday activities, we had to tag along. And now that Cole was away at college, I was the one left to hang out with Mom and Dad. I suppose they weren’t bad, as far as parents go, but at seventeen years old they weren’t my first choice to hang out with. But over the years I’d had friends whose parents neglected them, so I tried to see my parents’ involvement in my life as a blessing, not a curse. Besides, they’d always supported me in my music – paying for my lessons, activities and instruments. So I kind of felt like I owed them.
And that’s why I ended up at the gym almost every night, and certainly every weekend. I wasn’t the health nut that my mom was, but I did take my health seriously, and I knew physical activity was important. That’s why I did make myself at least work out a little bit. I’d read a book on the stationary bike or listen to music while walking on the treadmill. But it was the spa that I looked forward to. Sitting in the hot water with my back pressed against the powerful jets was pretty much the most relaxing thing ever.
However, I’d been avoiding the spa all week. Once I realized who Holden was, I had been skipping out on my usual gym routine. After only one conversation with him, it was clear to me that I would fall for him easily. He was too charming to resist. But after what Jasmine and Gianna told me, I knew he’d never fall for me. Not once he knew about the band and everything. And that’s why I didn’t go in the spa. I worried I’d run into him again. But there were nights when I wondered if I was being unfair. I mean, I didn’t even know the guy. What if Jasmine and Gianna were wrong? However, now that I’d seen him at the football game, I knew they were right. The look on his face when he realized who I was told me all I needed to know. And the way he quickly dismissed me made it brutally obvious what he thought of me now.
Still, I remembered the expression on his face when I spotted him in the parking lot. When our gazes met, I read longing in his eyes. It was reminiscent of how he was in the spa the night we met. But then he turned away and raced off into the night leaving me to wonder if I’d imagined the entire thing.
But today was Saturday, and I was guessing Holden was out with friends or sleeping off a hangover. I’d overheard a group of football players talking about some big party last night. Even though Holden had left before them, I assumed he went to the party too. After all, he was the star quarterback. Surely he’d been invited. So today when my parents dragged me to the gym, I brought my swim bag. After a half-hearted walk on the treadmill, I scurried into the locker room and changed into my black bikini.
After wrapping a towel around my waist and coiling my hair into a bun on top of my head, I walked outside. The mid-morning air was crisp, and smelled like fall. As I neared the spa, the scent of chlorine overpowered it, filling my nostrils. An elderly gentleman sat in the corner. He smiled kindly at me and then leaned his head back, closing his eyes. I flung my towel over a nearby chair and then stepped into the spa. The minute the hot water hit my skin I felt my body start to relax. After making my way down the steps, I sank onto the bench, the water reaching up to my chin. Steam rose around my face, dampening my flesh. I adjusted my position until I was directly in front of a jet. Then I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth and gentle massage. It was bright outside, the sun peeking from behind the clouds. A light breeze whisked over my face, but the sun warmed it up. I heard the rustle of the tree branches, a bird in the distance. A splashing noise cut into the tranquil sounds, but I assumed it was the elderly man so I didn’t open my eyes. Just nestled in deeper, savoring the moment. For the first time in days my mind was quiet, my body relaxed.
“So how is it coming? Have you reached your goal yet?”
The familiar voice startled me, and my body tensed. My eyelids flipped open. Holden plopped down across from me, a smile on his face. His hair was damp and his cheeks were flushed as if he’d just worked out. Bubbles foamed against his chest and arm muscles.
Remembering how he treated me last night, I bit my lip and shook my head.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll get there soon.” His smile deepened, and damn if I didn’t find it sexy.
Annoyance rose in me. He was probably used to winning people over with his good looks and charm. Other girls probably fell all over him despite how poorly he treated them. Too bad for him I wasn’t most girls.
“Actually, I was just getting out.” I stood. The minute the cool air hit my skin I already wished I could sink back into the water. I had just started to relax and enjoy it when Holden showed up. Damn him. This was exactly what I’d been trying to avoid all week. Why had he shown up today of all days? I had been looking forward to my spa time all morning. But I wasn’t going to sit in here and allow Holden to flirt with me after completely blowing me off last night. Disappointment sank into my gut as I climbed the steps.
“No.” The firmness in Holden’s tone stopped me. “You were in here first. I’ll go. You get back in.” When he stood up, water sluiced down his taut chest and defined abs. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop staring. He spread his arms out. “It’s clear you’re leaving on my account, and I don’t want it on my conscience when you fail your challenge.”
His words made me feel like a bitch. Had I really made it that obvious that I was leaving because of him? God, how petty did that make me seem? He stepped past me, his swim trunks skimming my thighs. I shivered. The water beckoned me. The last thing I wanted to do was leave, so I might as well get back in. But the truth was that deep down I didn’t want Holden to leave either. Seriously, what was wrong with me?
“I wasn’t leaving because of you,” I lied.
Holden’s head craned in my direction. “You weren’t?”
I shook my head, my gaze flickering to the clock on the wall near the spa. “I thought it was later than it was, but I think I can stay a few more minutes.”
With a slight bob of his head, Holden turned around making his way back down the steps. His lips curved upward at the edges. As he neared me, my heart picked up speed. “I guess I can too.” His gaze collided with mine, and I held my breath. My legs shook when he reached me. He was so close our chests almost touched. With a grin, he moved around me, his arm brushing mine. Then he sat on the same bench I’d been sitting on. He scooted over to allow enough room for me. As I took the empty space beside him, I mentally chastised myself. This was a mistake. That was obvious. And yet it was a mistake I wanted to make. Honestly, even if it ended badly I wasn’t even sure I’d regret it. Holden was the kind of guy that music lyrics were written about. He was the kind of guy a girl thr
ew caution to the wind for. A guy so charming his presence eclipsed everything else.
As if proving my point, the elderly gentleman climbed out of the spa. I blinked, realizing I hadn’t even known he was still in here. Once Holden stepped into the spa, I’d lost all awareness of my surroundings.
“Let me see.” I almost jumped out of my skin when Holden’s fingers circled my wrist. The skin-on-skin contact stunned me. With tenderness he picked my arm up and studied my hands. “Nope. Your goal has not been reached. It’s a good thing you got back in.” His eyes found mine.
I smiled, willing my heart to slow. It was beating so erratically I feared I would go into cardiac arrest. Wouldn’t that be a crazy headline? Teenage girl dies of heart attack at the gym, but she wasn’t even working out. “Yeah, it’s a good thing.”
Dropping my arm, he turned his body angling it toward me. “You lied to me, you know.”
My insides coiled into knots. Was he going to bring up the marching band?
“You said you came in here every night, but that wasn’t true. I was here four nights in a row and you never showed.” His eyebrows raised in a question.
My stomach uncoiled a little. “So you were serious about joining me in my quest, huh?”
I squirmed under his intense gaze. “I was serious about wanting to see you again.”
“It didn’t seem like that last night.” The words tumbled from my mouth before I could stop them. For a moment I wished I could shove them back in, but then I realized it was probably for the best. It needed to be addressed.
