by Bonnie Leon
Bear Creek was her next stop, and as Kate headed there, she felt anxiety encroach on her good mood. She didn’t know how she’d feel when she saw Paul. She hadn’t seen him since she’d returned to Alaska. And try as she might to extract him from her heart, she still loved him. What would she say when she saw him? How would she hide her feelings?
The time would come soon when she’d be called to transport him on a medical run. They’d be forced to spend hours together in close quarters. She’d decided to keep the relationship casual and businesslike. It would be simpler that way.
The apples she’d brought for him from Yakima were with her, but she considered not giving them to him. She’d deliver Patrick and Sassa’s mail and be on her way. It would be easier.
She wondered if Paul would ever marry or if he’d spend his life alone. The thought made her sad. He deserved more, to be loved. Why couldn’t he accept her as she was? Why couldn’t she be the one for him? Flying was the barrier. He’d made it clear—no flying. Could she give it up? Should she? Kate swallowed past an ache in her throat. She’d given up everything for flight, and to walk away from something she loved to please a man would only make her bitter. How could a couple begin a marriage on that kind of foundation?
He’d have to take her as she was or not at all. And she knew he wouldn’t do it. She’d have to accept life without him.
Kate clicked her thinking in another direction. She was single, strong, and independent. She didn’t need a man in her life. She could manage on her own and still find happiness. She liked the freedom of answering to no one but herself and God. I’m yours, Lord, and I accept your will, whatever it is.
When she flew over Paul’s cabin, she saw him with the dogs. He looked up and Kate’s heart jumped. She wanted to see him, but what would she say? She spotted Lily sitting on the porch with a baby in her arms. In spite of the pledge she’d just made, jealousy flickered to life. Had Paul found someone else? Lily was beautiful and kind, wise in the ways of the Alaskan bush.
Taking a deep breath, Kate set up for a landing on the frozen creek. She reached out and buried her fingers in Angel’s thick ruff. “It’s just you and me, girl.”
Angel pushed her nose up under Kate’s palm.
The landing area had been cleared, and Kate brought the plane in smoothly. After what had happened on Kotzebue Sound, any landing was a cinch.
Kate shut down the engine, moved toward the back of the plane, and opened the door. Cold air washed in, reminding Kate that even though the sun was shining, this was December in Alaska. Angel jumped out and sprinted across the ice.
Kate reached into the mailbag, fished out the letter to Patrick and Sassa, and tucked it into the front of her coat. She picked up the box of apples she’d brought for Paul. Might as well get it over with, she thought and headed for the door.
With a heavy coat on over a long dress, Sassa hustled across the ice, her mukluks kicking up powdered snow. Wearing a broad smile, she waved, and then patted Angel on the head. The dog moved off to explore the frozen world.
As Sassa came closer, Kate set down the box of apples. The native woman bundled Kate in her arms. “I knew you would come back.” She hugged Kate more tightly. “I have missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
Sassa planted a kiss on her cheek, then stepped back. “So much has happened.” She smiled broadly. “I’m a grandmother now,” she announced, as if daring Kate or anyone to disapprove. “You should see our little Teddy. Such a sweet boy.”
“I’ve been looking forward to meeting him.” Kate glanced toward Paul’s cabin. She knew Lily and the baby were there. “In fact, I have some apples to deliver to Paul, and I saw Lily and baby at his place from the air.”
“Yes. She took over a batch of fresh cranberry muffins for him.”
Squelching her jealousy, Kate pulled out an envelope. “I have a letter for you, from Homer.” She handed it to Sassa.
“Ah, from my sister.” Sassa glanced at it and then said, “Now, I will take you to meet my grandson.” She smiled broadly. “And I’m sure Paul and Lily will be happy to see you.”
Her stomach in a knot, Kate picked up the box of apples just as Patrick walked up.
“Hello, Kate,” he said in his easy way. “Nice to have our favorite mail lady back.” He leveled a friendly smile at her. “I didn’t think you’d stay away. I know a true Alaskan when I see one.”
“You think I’m a true Alaskan?” Kate couldn’t keep from smiling.
“Yep. You sure are.”
“I plan to stay and one day I’ll be a sourdough.” She grinned and shifted the box. “It took me awhile to figure out where I belong. I’ve been having a time of it since I got here though.”
“We heard on the Mukluk News last week that you were back at work. How long since you returned?”
“Nearly a month. I took some time to move into my new place. Mike deeded his house over to me.”
Patrick nodded thoughtfully. “That’s just like him.”
“I’m grateful—still getting used to it though. I’d barely gotten moved in when I took a run up to Kotzebue and Fairbanks. This is my first day back on the mail run.” She glanced at Paul’s cabin. “It’s been good seeing old friends.”
“I’ll bet it has.” He looked at the box tucked under Kate’s arm. “Who are the apples for?”
“Paul. They’re from my parents’ farm. He always said he missed fresh apples so I brought him some. I’m sure he’ll share with you and Klaus.”
Sassa’s eyes dimmed. “Oh. You don’t know. Klaus died just after you left.”
“No. I didn’t know.” Kate felt the weight of new sorrow. Klaus. She hadn’t expected him to go, not yet. “Something about him had felt permanent, like he’d always be around. What happened?”
“Just old, I guess,” Patrick said. “Paul thinks it was his heart.” He turned toward Klaus’s place. “We buried him up there on the knoll.”
Kate’s gaze wandered to the old German’s property. “He was a nice man. I’ll miss him.” Tears pricked Kate’s eyes. One more friend gone. “Does he have family, someone who will move into his cabin?”
Patrick shrugged. “Not that we know. I figure someone will take over the homestead eventually . . . we’ll just have to wait to find out who that is.”
“Well, let’s take those apples to Paul and introduce you to our grandson,” Sassa said.
“I’ll carry the box for you,” Patrick offered.
“No. I’ve got it.” Kate wanted to give them to Paul herself.
This was the moment she’d longed for and had dreaded. Walking alongside Sassa, Kate fixed her thoughts on the positive facets of meeting again. Paul would be a good friend and she’d enjoy working with him. They were a first-rate team—life would be interesting and exciting. But she dare not hope for more.
She attempted to calm her breathing and her battering heart. She tried to quiet her love for him, not wanting him to see it.
As Kate stepped into the yard, Paul tossed a stick for the dogs and they tore after it. Angel joined in the chase.
He turned and looked at Kate. For a long moment he just stared at her, not saying a word, as if she’d resurrected from the dead. Finally, he said, “Hi, Kate.” His tone was tender. “I heard you were back in Alaska.” He talked as if he were out of breath. A smile emerged. “You look good.”
“Thanks.” All thoughts of what she ought to say slipped from her mind, so she turned to Lily, who still sat on the porch, a baby in her lap. She stood.
“I heard from good authority,” she glanced at Sassa, “that you have a beautiful son.” She moved toward Lily.
“I do.” She smiled, her brown eyes warm and friendly. “I was so glad to hear that you were back.” She gave Kate a one-armed hug.
Kate gazed at the baby. Dark hair framed a round face and big brown eyes looked at her. “He is so cute.” She leaned close to him. “Hello there, little man.” He smiled and flailed his arms as if he were t
rying to reach Kate.
“Would you like to hold him?”
“Can I?” Kate set the box of apples on the porch step, then lifted the little boy out of Lily’s arms. She hadn’t held many babies in her life and wasn’t sure exactly how to go about it. “Do I need to hold his head?”
“No. He’s strong for his age,” Sassa said, pride in her voice.
Paul watched, looking awkward, as if he didn’t know what to do or say, yet eager to say something. Kate kept her attention on the baby. She didn’t know what else to do.
Theodore gazed at Kate.
“You are a cutie, yes you are,” she cooed. He offered Kate a toothless grin. Instinctively she held him close and kissed his cheek, which felt soft as a rose petal. “He’s wonderful.” She cradled him against her shoulder and longed for the day she would have a child of her own.
“I’m thrilled for you,” Kate said, and she meant it. She handed the baby back to his mother.
“I never knew having a baby would make me so happy.” Lily cuddled the child against her. “It’s not all fun, though. There’s a lot of work.” At that moment Theodore spit up a portion of his last meal. It oozed down the front of Lily’s coat. She held him away from her. “Like that.” She chuckled. “Well, let’s go home and get cleaned up.” She turned to Kate. “Good to have you back.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you again soon.”
Patrick headed toward the trail. “I’ve got wood to split. This nice weather won’t hold out. We’ll see you, Kate.” When Sassa didn’t follow right away, he stopped. “I could use some help . . . hauling that firewood.”
“I’m coming.” She flashed a smile at Kate. “Nice to see you.” She trundled off behind her husband.
Paul moved to the porch. “So, what do you have here?” He nodded at the box.
“Apples . . . from my parents’ farm. I brought them for you. They’re a few weeks old, but they’re almost as good as fresh.” She picked up the box and handed it to him.
He took out one and held it under his nose, breathing deeply. “Smells like heaven.” He smiled. “Thanks for thinking of me.”
I’m always thinking about you. “No problem. I remembered how you said you missed fresh apples.” She shrugged. “Since I knew I’d be coming out this way, I figured I might as well bring some.”
“I’m glad you’re here. You have time to sit awhile, maybe eat an apple with me?” He picked up one and offered it to her. He seemed anxious, as if he was afraid she’d run off.
Kate barely managed to keep a façade of composure. “Sure. I have a few minutes.”
They sat on the porch steps, munching on apples and watching the dogs frolic. It felt right to be sitting there together. Neither of them spoke for a while. Kate didn’t know what to say and guessed Paul was having difficulty finding a suitable topic.
Finally he asked, “So, you staying at the Townses’ apartment?”
“No.” Kate hesitated. For reasons she didn’t completely understand, she didn’t want Paul to know she was living in Mike’s house. But Paul was waiting for an answer. “Before Mike died, he willed his home to me. That’s where I’m living.”
“So, you have a house. That’s terrific. It was good of Mike.” He gazed at her, his brown eyes tender. “It was a terrible thing, his being killed like that. I’m real sorry.”
“I miss him. But it’s the way he would have wanted to go.”
Paul nodded, a shadow of hurt touching his eyes. Kate wondered what he was thinking. Now what could they talk about? She said, “Lily and the baby look good.”
“They’re doing well. She’s blessed to have such a kind and loving family. She and the baby will be fine. Lily’s a strong woman.”
Kate didn’t mean to probe, but she couldn’t help herself. “And how do you feel about them?”
Paul gave her a puzzled look, then his mouth tipped sideways and his eyes lit up with humor. “You mean is there anything special between us?”
Kate shrugged, embarrassed. “You just seem like very good friends.”
“We are . . . and nothing more.”
He didn’t love her! Kate knew that didn’t open the door for them—she was still a pilot—but somehow she felt a glimmer of hope.
Kate bit into her apple. Paul wasn’t bound to Lily. He was free to do whatever he wanted. But she wasn’t what he wanted—he’d made that clear.
“Now that you’re back, maybe we can make some trips together again. I miss flying with you.” He leaned against her, just slightly.
Kate felt a shiver go through her. “I’d like that. Anything I can do to help—that’s why I’m here.” Being close working partners was better than nothing. And spending time with someone like Paul would make life more enjoyable.
Strong and single, Kate reminded herself. She should be thankful. She was living her dream. Why, then, couldn’t she be content?
Kate finished her apple, then stood and tossed the core into the bushes. “I better get back to work. I’ve got a stop at Susitna Station.”
“I’ll walk to the plane with you.”
“Come on, Angel. Time to go,” Kate called, wishing she could stay.
The dog trotted up to Kate and Paul, then headed toward the creek. She hadn’t forgotten her way.
They walked down the snowy path. Paul kept a hold on Kate’s arm to make sure she didn’t slip. She liked the feeling of being protected and the pressure of his hand on her arm.
He walked all the way to the plane. “I’ll crank her.”
“Thanks.” Kate moved toward the door.
“Kate. Wait.” Paul gently took her arm and turned her so she faced him. “I’m glad you’re back, Kate.” He gazed down at her.
Was it love she saw in his eyes or just affection? “I’m glad to be here.” She managed a tremulous smile.
“Kate . . . I . . . well, I don’t know how to say this. I know I don’t have the right. I’ve made a mess of things.” He glanced at the plane, then turned a fervent gaze on her. “I pushed you away. I tried not to love you. I was callous. Can you forgive me?”
Kate’s mind was overrun by her heart. All she knew was that she wanted to be in his arms, to tell him that she loved him.
“I wished a thousand times that I’d found a way to stop you from leaving, to tell you how I really felt. I wanted to come after you, but it didn’t seem right.” Paul held Kate’s face in his hands. “I know it hasn’t been all that long since Mike died, and that I’m being very forward, but I can’t wait anymore. I need you to know that I love you.”
Kate placed her hands over Paul’s. “I love you too. I never stopped.”
The devotion in Paul’s eyes turned to heat. He kissed her, gently tasting. And then hunger and passion denied for too long claimed them. They clung to one another.
Reluctantly Kate stepped back. “I’m still a pilot. That won’t change.”
Paul nodded. “I know. But I’ve learned that it’s easier to live with the risk than to live without you.” He kissed her again. “I was a fool to think I could be happy without you.”
“It won’t be easy. My job is still dangerous and I work long hours and—”
“And so do I.” Paul smiled. “But we’ll work it out . . . together.”
He pulled Kate into his arms and she rested her cheek against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart and breathing in the smell of flannel and hard work.
They’d find a way.
Acknowledgments
The creation of a book takes more than a single author. It requires the combined efforts of many. I am grateful for all those who joined me in this project.
Saying thank you is not adequate to express my appreciation to Gayle Ranney, one of Alaska’s flying champions. You gave of your time and your experience to make the flying scenes in this book possible. You came alongside me, sharing your knowledge and know-how so I could bring the pilots and their flying adventures to life.
And to my family who are Alaskans and who love o
ne of God’s most glorious creations—thanks to my mother Elsa, my sister Myrn, brother Bruce, and cousins Billy, Kenny, and Sue. Your experiences and your love for the state of Alaska enriched and brought the scenes in this book to life.
I owe a big thank-you to Mark and Cheryl Barrett of Barrett Orchards in Yakima, Washington. They graciously sat down with me and answered my questions about what it means to be an apple farmer. They ought to know—the Barrett family has been farming in the valley since 1908.
I would be foolish to write a book without the partnership of my critique group—Ann Shorey, Judy Gann, and Sarah Sundin. You guys are the best. When you had no time, you made time—you brainstormed when I needed your creative minds—searched out and exposed my blunders and brought out the luster in my writing. Thank you.
Kelli Standish, of PulsePoint Design, thank you for contributing your original thinking and energy to creating a stunning website where I can introduce my books and my thoughts to readers. There’s no one like you. Bless you for your commitment to excellence and your dedication to serve the struggling writers of this world.
I owe a great deal to my Revell team. It’s an honor to be a Revell author. Thank you, Lonnie Hull DuPont, Barb Barnes, Michele Misiak, Cheryl Van Andel, and all those working behind the scenes who helped create this book. Your hard work and guidance helped me attain my best.
And to Wendy Lawton, my agent. I can’t imagine making my way through this world of writing without you. When I need your business savvy, you’re there. When I’m down, you lift me up. And your faith in me helps keep me on track. I can’t thank you enough.
Bonnie Leon dabbled in writing for many years but never set it in a place of priority until an accident in 1991 left her unable to work at her job. She is now the author of several historical fiction series, including the Sydney Cove series, Queensland Chronicles, the Matanuska series, the Sowers Trilogy, the Northern Lights series, and now the Alaskan Skies series. She also stays busy teaching women’s Bible studies, speaking, and teaching at writing seminars and women’s gatherings. Bonnie and her husband, Greg, live in southern Oregon. They have three grown children and four grandchildren.
