“Good,” I whisper in her ear. “Now imagine you’re stuck. I can do anything I want, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” I put a hand on her thigh. I don’t move it, but leave it there, both of us knowing I can move it higher if I want to.
She finally lets out the breath, and fixes her eyes on the couple. I catch her glancing back at me. What do I see in her eyes? Nervousness? Excitement? Fear? All three? Perfect.
The man’s put away the feather while we were distracted. He lights two candles, one red and one blue. I bet the girl hears the match, the fire flaring up. She knows what’s coming, but Amber has no idea.
“What are the candles for?” Her eyes are round as saucers.
“Watch.”
The man starts with the red candle, holding it a couple of feet above his girl. He doesn’t move, waiting for the perfect moment.
“He’s not... going to...” Amber doesn’t finish her sentence. She tenses in my grip, the muscles in her arms going tight in anticipation.
The man tilts his wrist just enough, so a tiny drop of red falls and splatters against the girl’s stomach. She and Amber startle at the same moment. I can’t hear the girl, but Amber draws a sharp breath.
The man moves the candle until it’s over the girl’s arm and tilts again. Just as the hot wax strikes her skin, I run my fingers up Ambers arm, trying to mirror its touch. She jumps, but my grip holds her still.
“Imagine the heat, dripping up your arm. You can’t move while the wax slides across your skin, just briefly before it stiffens.”
Her breath is ragged, and she’s shaking. Fuck, she’s so responsive. So sexy. She’s making my jeans so tight, and I wish with all my heart that it was her naked in that room, and me dripping the wax. Making her feel.
“Where will it strike next? Her other arm?” I touch her arm. “Her thigh?” My hand slides down. “Maybe he’ll drop it right on her tits.” I hesitate for only a second, then I cup her breast, going for broke.
She freezes under my hand. Shit. I’ve gone too far. But then she pushes forward, pressing herself into my hand. Her ass grinds against the couch. Fuck, it’s all I can do to not take her right here in the viewing room. My breath is almost as short as hers.
I stroke, slowly, feeling the hard nub of her nipple rubbing against my palm. She feels so good, so soft. I can’t remember the last time I wanted someone so bad. What is she doing to me?
The man puts the candles aside, but leaves them burning. He picks up two small objects, silver glinting under the spotlights. Nipple clips. Amber has no idea. He bends over, and it looks like he whispers something, but I can’t hear what. Then he puts the first clip on.
I time my pinch to match, squeezing Amber’s nipple hard. She squeaks, her eyes going wide. At the same time, the girl on the table twitches, feeling the sudden bite of the clip.
“That hurt.”
“A little pain only heightens the sensations. Imagine the clip on her nipple. Tight, rough. A little hurt that she can’t take away unless he chooses to.” I circle her taut nipple with my finger, and she shudders, letting out a sharp breath. “She’s his. All of her. Whatever he wants. She’s given him that gift.”
“What if she changes her mind?”
I can’t stand it any longer. I need to touch her. Not through the shirt, but her bare skin. Running my hand down her side, I find the hem of her shirt and slip my hand underneath it. A quick intake of breath, but she doesn’t stop me.
“She has safewords. She can stop this anytime she wants, but she doesn’t want to.” I don’t even know if I’m talking about them or us anymore.
“I’d be scared.”
My hand slides across her soft stomach, until I’m right below her bra. “It’s supposed to be scary.”
Amber lets out a little whimper and this time I’m the one that freezes. Fuck, what am I doing? Playing with her’s only going to make this worse. Shit. I need to drive her away, not fuck her. Can’t be doing this. Why did she have to drop into my life now, and not last week when I wasn’t messing with the Mob? Of course, without the sting, I never would’ve met her to begin with.
I want her so bad. Wish I could explain, make her see why she needs to get away from this. Why I’m bad for her, at least right now. But fuck, it’s only been a day, and I already don’t want to lose her. I sigh.
But I have to.
I want to grab her tit and squeeze it. Instead I pull back. Her skin’s so soft under my fingers, but I can’t do this. I won’t. Fuck.
“It’s okay.” Her whisper’s husky. “I want you to.”
Oh Jesus. She’s not making this any easier. I want to so bad, but I let go of her wrists and move away. Suddenly the love seat seems plenty big. “Sorry, I went too far. This is supposed to be professional. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“What?” Not a husky whisper anymore. “Wait, so you take me to watch a kinky sex show, get me all hot and bothered, hold my wrists, fondle my boob, even slide your hand up my shirt, and suddenly now you get cold feet? What the hell?”
She’s frustrated. Hurt. I get it. I fucked up. I hate this. “Amber. I shouldn’t be doing this. I’ve already gone too far. I...”
“You know what? Fine. I don’t care.” She stands, straightens her shirt and grabs her purse. “I’ll see you for work tomorrow. I’ll be sure to keep things professional. One of us should.” Her voice is ice. “I’m not your fucking plaything.” With her back straight, she storms out of the viewing room.
I want to stop her, keep her here, finish what we started, but I can’t.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“Amber!”
She’s gone, the door wide open behind her. On the other side of the window, the man’s back to dripping wax, but I don’t care. Watching’s no fun alone. Instead, I chase after Amber, not knowing exactly what I’ll say if I find her. I hate that. I’m in control. Always. There’s always a plan. Except now.
When I get out into the club proper, she’s long gone.
Well, I needed to chase her away. Good job, me. Exactly what I needed, right? Perfect. Only, the more time I spend with her, the more I want her to stay.
“Shit.”
Chapter 6
Amber
I slam the door behind me. It crashes against the doorframe, the lock clicking shut with a loud metallic snap. Finally. Back in my apartment. I’m still on edge, but it’s beginning to let go. Leaning my back against the door, like I’m trying to keep someone out, I slide down until my ass hits the floor.
Crap.
What happened back there? I don’t even know. It’d been so hot. Never thought I’d get so turned on at watching someone getting tied up and having wax dripped on them. And the nipple clamps... my nipples go tight just at the thought.
What’s Eric’s fucking problem? It’s like he doesn’t know what he wants. Things were going good. The watching was hot, his hands were hot. If he’d kept going, I wouldn’t have stopped him.
But then he pulled back like I was some sort of mistake. Like he’s bipolar or something. Well, that’s not my problem. Fuck him. If he doesn’t want me, then fine. I don’t need him either. Even if it felt so right up until that point.
I sigh. Oh well, guess we’re keeping it professional from now on. It’s what he wants, right? How am I supposed to work with someone like that? Doesn’t help that when he’s not being an ass, he’s nice. Talented. Sexy. Interested. Almost lovable.
What a clusterfuck.
I’m just getting my breath back when Vivian peeks out of her room, scaring the bejesus outta me. Right, she’s crashing here. You’d think after three weeks I’d remember.
“Amber? You okay?”
“Viv. You’re...” I have to draw a new breath. “You’re home.”
“Uh, yeah. What’s going on?”
Fuck, I don’t even know what’s going on. How am I going to explain it to her? “I... that guy, Eric.”
“Eric?” She comes over. Kneels
next to me. “Tell me. You okay?”
Right. Viv doesn’t know. “That interview you got me. For the BDSM club.”
“What kind of fucked up interview leaves you like this?”
“No, wasn’t the interview. That was yesterday.” I bring her up to speed on Eric, on the deal, on our visit to the club. By the time I’m done, my heartbeat’s almost back to normal, but I’m still pissed off. “Am I crazy?”
Vivian grins. “Part of me wants to say grats on breaking your BDSM cherry.”
I roll my eyes.
“It was really intense for me the first time, too. I think it is for most people.” She eyes me. “Did he hurt you?”
“No. Yes, but... maybe?” I’m not explaining this well. “I lost my shit and ran when he pushed me away. Fuck, I left my laptop at his place.” I groan and bonk my head against the door.
“Sounds like you were really getting into it. Maybe I’m not the only kinky one in the apartment after all.” She laughs, and much as I hate to admit it, it helps.
I even smile a little. “Yeah. Letting my freak flag fly. I’m totally cut out for this.” I sigh.
She puts a hand on my arm and looks me in the eyes. “Listen, it happens. Trust me. I’m like, the queen of losing my shit. I had no idea Eric did web stuff. Someone told me he made big money on investing before the IT crash, so not sure why he’s even working. Maybe it’s a hobby?” She shrugs. “Anyway, I don’t know him well, but I’ve only heard good stuff about him. I don’t think he’s trying to be an ass. I mean, he totally acted like an ass, but maybe he had his reasons. Maybe his brain melted in the face of your incredible hotness.”
I roll my eyes, but a laugh slips out anyway. “Whatever. Says my tall sex goddess of a roommate. How are things going with that guy you were talking about, anyway.”
Her face falls. “He’s taken.”
Crap. Wrong question, I guess. “Ah. You okay?”
“I fucked up. Went all out bitch on them.” Her shoulders drop. “I’ll be alright. Just thought it would work out differently.”
“I’m sorry. We’ve all had our bitch moments.”
“You have no idea. Anyway, win some, you lose some, right?” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Got someone else in mind?”
She laughs. “Nah, not yet. Figure I’ll put more effort into getting a job. Maybe find a little place of my own. I can’t keep mooching off of you.”
“I told you, mi casa es su casa. For as long as you need it, Viv.”
“Thanks. I’m not sure what I would have done without you, but I want to get self-sufficient, you know?”
“Yeah, know what you mean. Oh, your dad called this morning while you were sleeping. He should know better than to call before nine. I was going to leave a note, but forgot. Was in a bit of a hurry. Sorry.”
“It’s alright. He called again later.”
“How’s he doing?”
“He’s okay. You’d never know he had a stroke, but now that I’m not there, Mom’s driving him crazy. It was a tough couple years but it was worth it.”
“Of course it was, he’s your dad.” I smile. My night’s been rough, but Viv’s had a rough time of it too. “Glad to hear it.”
“Enough of that.” She eyes me. It’s like I’m surrounded by green-eyed people lately. “Are you going back?”
“Tonight? No way.”
“No, but later.”
“Well, yeah. I’ve got to. We have to work together.”
“You know what I mean.” Her little smile’s back. “To him.”
“He doesn’t want me. Weren’t you listening?”
“Bullshit. Something’s stopping him, but it’s not that he doesn’t want you. Not the way you’re telling it.”
My phone buzzes. It’s him. Well, a message from him, at least.
Hey, you alright? I’m sorry I fucked up. Can’t stop thinking about it. Call me if you want to talk. Just wanted to check on you. -Eric
I show it to Viv.
“Hah. Going to let him off the hook?”
“I have no idea. I don’t even know what this message means. Does he want to be with me? Does he not? Does he want to, but can’t because of some ‘big mysterious secret’?” I throw air quotes around that last.
“Hey, he’s sorry. Obviously he knows he screwed up. Maybe you guys can work it out. You wouldn’t be so worked up about this if you didn’t like him.”
“I’ll be civil and keep working with him. Anything beyond that’s up to him.”
“Going to give him another chance?”
“Let’s just take it easy, okay? One thing at a time.”
She laughs, and I know she doesn’t believe me.
Chapter 7
Amber
Who the hell rings the doorbell at nine in the morning? I roll out of bed, wiping sleep out of my eyes. The bell rings again. “Alright! I’m coming. Hold your fucking horses!” Not like whoever it is can hear me from the front door downstairs, but yelling feels good.
I push the intercom. “This better be good.”
Eric’s voice crackles over the crappy speaker. “I wanted to catch you before you came over. New plan today.”
“Eric? One sec.” I push the door button. What the hell is he doing here? Especially after last night. “Door’s unlocked.”
I shuffle to the kitchen and hit the button on the coffee maker.
He storms in, looking wide awake. Is this even the same guy from yesterday? Showered and fresh, and looking good. Meanwhile, I’m barely standing. I can only imagine the tangle of hair on top of my head.
“What are you doing here? Why should I even want to talk to you?” I yawn so hard my eyes water.
“Last night was fucked up. I’m sorry.” At least he sounds like he means it. “Can we start over, or are you going to make me grovel first?”
“We’ll see. What are you doing up so early anyway? I didn’t think mornings were your thing.”
“Been up all night. Couldn’t sleep. I figured we could try something different today.”
“Say what?” God, keeping up is hard in the morning. The smell of the coffee’s starting to seep out of the kitchen, though. Almost there. “We tried different last night, remember?”
“Trust me. It’s gorgeous out. Lets not spend it all inside.. A change of scenery will do us good.”
“Uh... work? Internet?”
“We’ll tether to my phone if we need it. We’ve got everything on my laptop, anyway. Oh, and I brought yours. You left it at my place yesterday.” He holds it out.
“Right. Um... okay? Thanks.” I blink and accept it.
“Great. Get dressed.”
“Gotta give me a minute, Eric. My engine’s a slow starter. Want coffee?”
“Thanks, I’m good.”
Fine. Guess I’ll get dressed.
Ten minutes later, I’ve at least got jeans and a t-shirt on, and most of my tangles worked out of my hair. Good thing I showered last night. I find a thermos in the kitchen and fill it. My satchel, my laptop, and I’m good to go.
He looks up when I come out of the kitchen. “Ready?”
“Yeah, guess so.”
“Nice. I’ve got your helmet downstairs. Let’s go.”
He takes us out on the highway, weaving past cars. As soon as we’re past the densest inner city traffic, he opens the throttle and the massive engine roars. All I can do is hang on, pulling myself into his broad back. He rumbles in time with the motorcycle. It’s making it easy to forget why I was mad last night.
“Where are we going, anyway?”
The wind eats my words, but he gets the idea. “A special place. You’ll like it.”
I give up on conversation while his tires eat up the asphalt. We leave the city behind, then the suburbs. How far are we going, anyway? It’s like he hears my thoughts, because as soon as I think it, he blinkers off onto the next exit. A few moments later we pull into a park, overlooking a pretty lake surrounded by woods.
“Welcome,” he says while pulling off his helmet, “to a real open office.” He lifts me off the bike before detaching one of the saddlebags. “I figured on a working lunch and picked up subs. Hope you like roast beef or meatballs.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. Why? You vegan or something?”
I laugh. “No, that’s great.”
He grins, letting out a sigh of relief. “Good. This way. If you grab the laptops, I’ll bring the rest.”
Biker, crime fighter, artist, nature lover. I like that he keeps surprising me. He leads the way to the shade of a tree on a little hill overlooking the lake. “Here’s good.” Moments later, the blanket’s spread out, we’ve kicked off our boots, and amazingly enough, we’re working.
Only yesterday, this process had been so painful. Now it’s like we’re guessing the other’s intentions, knowing what to expect. Instead of grinding gears, we’ve become a well-oiled machine. The pieces are falling into place, and I hate to admit it, but I’m actually enjoying this. Maybe we should work together more. What seemed so horrible, suddenly doesn’t sound half bad.
I pause what I’m doing and stretch. “Why this place, anyway? You said it was special.”
“Yeah.” He looks up, his gaze scanning over the lake. “Yeah, I used to come here all the time when I was younger. This was like my hideout, back in my all black clothes stage.” He laughs. “I was a really angsty teen.”
“Isn’t that part of it? High school’s all about the drama, isn’t it?” Looking at him now, I try to imagine him as a rebellious teen. “Are you sure it was a stage? I mean with the bondage and the leather and the bike and all...”
He runs a hand through his hair and laughs at my teasing. “Well, the angst was a stage I hope, but this is where I’d come to be alone.”
“It’s a nice spot.”
“Yeah. It’s meant a lot to me over the years.” He sits quietly, staring out over the lake, like he’s remembering something. Or trying to decide something. Then he snaps out of it. “Listen, I was thinking about last night.”
“Yeah?” I keep my expression neutral. If he wants a second chance, this better be good.
“I’m sorry for making a mess of it. I just didn’t... well, let me tell you about my first time.”
Teach Me Page 3
