by Andrew Birch
“That’s really honest”, he said, “That’s part of our rent money for the week. Couldn’t lose that. Guess there’s still some honest people left in the world huh?”
She smiled again, and they separated. She walked away fast, putting up her hood before he realised that she’d pocketed his card in the exchange. Running around the block to the Macy’s bank teller, she entered the number
4819
Withdrew $500. Easy money. Then she took the subway to the west side of the city and the business district. Easy pickings there too. She could clear $5000 a day sometimes. Keep the hoodie up, so nobody would see the face. Easy pickings. She squirreled the money away, not in a bank as there were always bad guys robbing banks and doing heists. No, she’d found a better place at the back of the old bus depot that she’d been fascinated by as a kid. Through the lines of the old rotting hulks of withdrawn and scrap buses, there was a tiny shed that had the front door boarded. Lol knew how to undo the board and there, under the floor in a chest covered with dirt and floorboards, was her money and precious things. Nobody had touched the shed for years apart from her. If you didn’t know the chest with the money was there, you’d have never found it. And it proved a good idea too.
One night the cops came to call at the home. A girl about Lol’s age had been traced back here committing theft and fraud. A girl in a red hooded top and green sneakers. Course, when the cops came, the hooded top had been left in the old shed, and Lol had on her feet only white socks, the home rules states Lol’s sneakers be left in the cupboard.
Tanner, the home manager, feared what would happen if the girl was arrested from a home he was in charge of, and so he confirmed that girl didn’t wear the green sneakers that were at this moment locked in the cupboard out of Lol’s reach. After the cops left, the two said nothing to one another, Tanner looking forward to the day when she turned eighteen and would leave the home. Nevertheless, one morning soon after when he arrived, he found a parcel waiting on the table addressed to him. It contained $500, and although there was no form of identification on the parcel, he knew where it had come from. And so he never bothered Lol again.
Chapter 11. Allen Rigby
By the age of eighteen, Lol had left the home, and thrown in her lot with a local hood and part time junkie named Allen Rigby. They lived in a small rented apartment on the poor side of the city, surrounded by junkies, homeless, dealers and bent cops. Lol was at home here, she knew most of these people. By now she was taller, and considered quite good looking, though still under nourished and thin. Lol was fit though, and often took to jogging during the early morning. This was a rough neighborhood, and after a few scares with guys trying to attack and rape her, she’d been getting defense lessons from a guy in their block, a huge guy called Crosby.
Allen was ok, he loved her in his way. As long as she played the part of the girl and cleaned and cooked, he was kind to her. Good in bed too apparently, although Lol wasn’t sure about this as she hadn’t had that much experience. But he was handsome, with devilish black hair, a white toothed smile and just the right amount of stubble. He dressed well too, all leather and rock music. She had tried to drop the name Lol, and considered it kind of childish now. Remembering she was once a child brought back memories of Groucho and that was hard. She still missed the sight of the old guy sat in the bus shelters around the district.
One night, Allen had asked his girlfriend Lol, or Lori as she now liked to be known, to come help him ‘take’ a few cars to his employers. At a loose end, Lol had agreed to go play lookout and help with the thefts. The pay wasn’t good, but she enjoyed helping, and it was a new skill she’d learned. The first couple had been easy. A new Mazda from off of some guys driveway. At first, she thought they would have used some wires and trickery shit to kill the alarm. They didn’t. He just smashed the window, twisted the ignition wires together and drove it off the driveway, alarm blaring.
“People hear an alarm, he explained, “they just complain, then turn over and go back to sleep.”
It was that simple. The next one, a Bronco, she did herself. By now, Lol was strong, and she punched through the glass with only the sleeve of her leather jacket to protect her. Easy.
The final one wasn’t so easy. Straight off the lot of an Italian restaurant where the owner was having a nice dinner inside. Big Lincoln job, with a custom engine. It was the engine that Allen’s employer had wanted. This one had been slightly more complicated. There was a waiter outside trying to chat up some girl, and the two thieves were in full view. And so here was where Lol came into her own. Although her clothes were shabby, she looked good. She wore her hipster jeans just low enough to attract the right kind of attention, they were flared at the bottom to make her legs look nice and long. The red wedge sandals were her favorites, she wore them almost constantly and of course, her prized possession, the black leather jacket. With Allen waiting, she strutted over to where the waiter was chatting up the girl
“Hey baby”, she said to the startled waiter, “I got you a new phone here, cos I guess your old one ain’t workin?”
“Huh”, he said in surprise at the tallish blonde in front of him. The girl he was talking to looked up also,
“Michael”, she said in surprise, “who is this skank?”
“Skank”, Lol snorted in amusement, “Skank! Mike honey, I don’t know who this bimbo is, but your daughter needs you tonight. What time is your shift finished up?”
Daughter”, exploded the girl?”
“Honey”, Michael tried to explain, “I don’t know who this is? She’s obviously crazy?”
“I know you don’t want me any more baby”, Lol said smiling inwardly, “but your children need you”
“Ohmygod” muttered the girl, “children?”
“Yeah, said Lol, “we have two daughters. We’re not together any more, but with the one I’m carrying now, we’ll have three kids. His eldest won’t go to sleep till daddy kisses her.”
“Lady you have the wrong guy…” began Michael.
Yeah I know, thought Lol wickedly, but I have to do something to get you and your bimbo away from that window.
“Mikey”, said the girl, “I don’t know what’s going on, or what kind of history you and this skank have together but I need to go be with my friends now. Sorry. The answers no”
Michael suddenly stepped away and began to chase after the pretty girl, leaving behind this mad blonde and the talk of her three children. Then the Lincoln from the car park quickly drove around to the front,
“Baby wait”, cried Michael, chasing after the girl who was tottering away on her silver high heels
The blonde who had caused all the trouble jumped into the Lincoln quickly. She winked at Allen behind the wheel.
“Baby”, shouted Michael to the bimbo in the silver heels, “I don’t know who the hell that blonde is. Never seen her before in my life”
The car sped away and Allen and Lol drove for a while in silence. She lit a cigarette, kicked off her shoes and relaxed. After a while she noticed something was up with the tyre. Every so often, she could hear a bump bump bump.
“You hear that, baby?” she said in her sweet southern drawl
“Probably nothin”, replied Allen, still high from the nights work.
“I’d hate to have to change a tyre in this neighborhood”, she answered. They were in a troubling part of town at the moment.
“Go on then”, he said reluctantly, “we’ll take a look. Just for you.”
“Thanks baby”, she smiled. That smile.
She slipped back into her wedges and they stepped out of the car, examining the bodywork. Nothing.
“Pop the trunk honey”, she said gesturing, “might be a whole bag of money in there,”
“Yeah”, he answered laughing, “and there might be a whole bag of nothing too.”
It wasn’t money. But then again, it wasn’t nothing. At first, Lol thought it was a heap of bloodied rags. Then she saw limbs.
“A body
”, she said quietly.
“I didn’t know baby, I swear”, sputtered Allen,
“A body”, she repeated. A body in the fucking trunk. Who the living fuck did you steal this piece of shit from, Allen?”
“I dunno”, he said dumbfounded, “but listen sweetheart, it’s not a lot to do with us. We don’t know about this, we haven’t touched it, fuck all to do with us. We just dump the car, wipe the prints and get the fuck out of here. Fuck the money for the engine, cops find us with this, we’ll get twenty years.”
Lol agreed, and was just about to shut the trunk again, when something caught her eye. A movement. The hand moved. As she moved the rags, there was a face hidden by an arm.
“Sweet Jesus”, she shouted, “this motherfucker’s alive”
Allen gestured in a panic.
“So fucking what”, he said, his voice becoming hysterical, what do ya think we’re gonna do, take him up to the hospital and go ‘hey there, we robbed this car and found this beaten up guy in the fucking trunk. Please arrest us and send us to jail”
The man in the trunk coughed.
“Fuck this”, said Allen, and pulled out his handgun. It was a showy gun, like him. Chrome plated Magnum. He pointed it at the guy in the trunk and would have fired it but Lol knocked his hand at the last moment,
The bullet fired into the night air,
“What the actual fuck?” she shouted, “you’re just gonna kill a guy? You don’t know him,. Who he is or what the fuck he’s doing in that goddamed trunk! He could be a fucking cop?”
“Babycakes”, Allen said surprised at Lol’s sudden fury, “he’s nearly dead anyway. Besides, what choice do we have?”
“We take him to the hospital”, Lol said quietly, suddenly thinking of Groucho, Make sure he’s ok.”
“You are out”, he said slowly, “of your tiny little blonde mind”
He waved the gun at her, but remembering her self defence, she knocked it from his hand with her palm. Then she picked it up, and pointed it at him, square in the chest.
“You gonna stop me, Allen”, she snarled, “you gonna make me murder some poor shmuck who decided that tonight was gonna be the night that he got the shit kicked out of him and locked in some fucking trunk to die? I didn’t sign up for this to kill people”
Allen backed away.
“Do what you want, babe”, he said resignedly, “nothing to do with me. You can’t prove I was even there”
Lol shrugged.
“I can’t just let him die”, she said, climbing into the driver’s seat.
“They’ll put you in jail” said Allen, “you know that, right?”
“Yeah”, said Lol, “I guess. Nothing else I can do.”
Lol sped away in the car. After a while, they came to St Helena’s mercy hospital and the guy was brought inside. Lol had considered running for it, but she needed to know the guy was ok. Like Groucho had said, she wasn’t an animal to run away into the night. And so she stayed with him. Doctors said that he’d been brought here just in time, any later and he would’ve died. So she should've felt good about that. But right at this moment, Lol felt anything but good about life. As Allen had predicted, Lol had been arrested in the hospital, placed in handcuffs and taken to jail. Right now, she was in a white jumpsuit while her clothes were being tested for blood and gunshot residue.
After a long while, Lol was led out of her cell with her hands cuffed behind her back to an interview room. The concrete floor was freezing to her bare feet, her wedges being confiscated along with the rest of her things.
The cop unhandcuffed her and helped her to sit down.
“In a lot of trouble” he observed, taking the seat on the other side of the desk.
“Trouble’s my middle name, baby”, she replied, smiling that smile of hers.
“Let’s see”, he said, shuffling some papers, “car theft, driving without a license, driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol. You’re looking at a good few years in jail.”
“Is the guy ok”, Lol asked quietly, “you know, the guy whose life I saved?”
“He’ll be fine”, the cop answered. But you still have charges to face.
“I dunno”, said Lol smiling again, how can I steal something that doesn’t belong to the guy I stole it from in the first place. No way that guy inside that restaurant bought that goddamed car legit. And here am I, doing my good citizen routine and saving the guy who was locked in the trunk of the car that was already stolen when I decided to steal it myself. And I’m the one being threatened with prison! You guys ought to be ashamed.”
He listened to the girl’s speech with amusement. The anti-establishment stance was typical of some of the old homeless guys that knocked around, and he wondered if she had hung out with them at some time in her life. But she was right. The driving offences were misdemeanors, and her lawyer would simply argue that by stealing that car, she’d saved a man’s life, and thus couldn’t be punished too harshly in any event. A colossal waste of the city taxpayers money and she would most likely walk anyway.
So the following morning, clad in her hipster jeans, leather jacket and favourite red wedge sandals, Lol walked free from jail, and back to the home she shared with Allen Rigby. She wondered if he was home. She also wondered about the guy whose Lincoln they stole in the first place. That would have to be looked at. The last thing Lol needed was to end up in some gangsters trunk on the way to a nice cozy grave somewhere in the desert. First things first, she thought as she walked into the flat they shared. Something to clear her head from the night spent in the damned police dungeons.
“Baby”, asked Allen from the sofa?
He was lay back on the couch with two of his friends. They were playing call of duty on the Xbox, and smoking while they did.
“yeah I’m fine”, she said as she entered, shruggling off her jacket to reveal a sleeveless worn blue vest “don’t worry about me.”
“Are they charging you”, he said,
“No baby”, she replied, “I just sucked off a whole dozen of em, and let em all butt fuck me”
“Damn girl”, said Allen’s friend Baggie, “we was looking forward to you going to jail. Coming filming a porn movie with you and all them bitches.”
“yeah”, laughed Allen, “jail bitches on heat”
“Nice, baby”, replied Lol, “You got any stuff for me?”
“C’mon”, Allen moaned, “it’s my last one”
“I’ll get some later baby, c’mon, you know I deserve it for not mentioning you to those lovely strong cops as they fucked my ass?”
“Skank”, he muttered tossing her a small bag with white powder inside.
“I love you too, sweetheart”, she drawled, emptying the bag on the small untidy coffee table that was stained with coffee rings and cigarette papers. She used a nearby credit card to prepare the stuff, then bending down, she snorted the whole lot in two goes.
“Man that feels better”, she said smiling, “I’m alive again.”
“Come play call of duty babe”, Allen said patting a section of the sofa.
Lol ignored him,
“Gotta go to work, sweet thing”, she answered, sitting by the desktop PC in the corner. She switched it on, and as it booted up, she put on the headset. Slipping off her red wedges and tossing them into a corner, she rubbed her aching feet.
“Where’s your cigarettes, baby?” she asked, loading up an auto dialer program.
“On the side”, he said pointing, still engrossed in his game, “it’s all take take take with you isn’t it huh?”
“Aw”, she replied, lighting a cigarette, ”you know you love me”
“Yeah”, said Baggie, “He must do. Be cheaper him having a rubber doll huh?”
“I know”, Allen replied, “least then I’d be able to fill it’s ass. This bitch only lets cops pack her ass”.
Lol shuddered at the thought. He’d tried that with her only once. Like taking a dump backwards. Never again, she thought.
Th
e phone rung inside the headset, and a guy answered,
“Hi there”, said Lol, all traces of her southern twang gone, “I’m calling from Microsoft customer services. It’s about your PC.”
“What about my PC”, the man replied, “it’s fine. I just bought stuff from you guys last week.”
“I know sir”, she lied, “I have that information in front of me at the moment, and the details of the transaction. However there seems to be a problem with the card number you supplied.
“You’re joking”, he answered, “the card is fine, there’s money there and everything!”
“Its most likely a problem at our end”, she continued, “sadly your computer is not protected until I get this all ironed out. I can sort it with you now, get everything back up and running for you if you’d like?”
“Sure”, he said, “I need this virus checker working. I thought I was ok.”
“It’ll be fine sir”, she cooed, “It’ll just take a moment. I just need to re-enter your card details and confirm the transaction. For your trouble, I’ll add an extra three months to you for free.
“Oh wow”, he said, that’s very generous. Thank you so much. It’s rare to see such good customer service nowadays.”
She wrote down the credit card number, pin code and all his details on a piece of paper before they thanked each other and she rung another. She screwed up the paper and tossed it to Allen. When he was finished with his game, Allen would clone the card and fleece the guy. Not for vast amounts, only dumb shmucks did that. Just tiny amounts. Ten dollars here, eight dollars there. Didn’t sound a lot, but Lol could clear about twenty cards a day on the phone. They had more than enough money rolling in.
Chapter 12. Allen Rigby.
That was a name I hadn’t heard of in years. He’d done a runner a week or two before I got arrested by the cops for running all sorts of scams. The guys who he stole the Lincoln off were after him, and I think he got scared. Anyway, here he was, seven years into my sentence and he was coming to see me. My first visitor in the whole time I’d been locked up. The visiting room was separated by a sheet of bulletproof glass down the room, so that the visitors had no direct contact with us. The room was further separated into a series of booths, with a chair each side and a handset so we could speak to the visitor. When we were all seated in our booths, they let the visitors in. I was curious to see Allen. Though it had been years since I’d seen him, I wondered what he was up to these days. At first I didn’t recognise him, the intervening years had treated him terribly. He was bald now, and not so far as I could see, by choice. His once gleaming row of pearly white teeth were missing and broken. His skin had gone kind of a yellow colour and sunk in round the eye sockets and jowels. He’d aged horribly, and he looked me up and down, with my pale blonde hair cut nicely across my shoulders, neatly manicured nails and clean fresh appearance and |I saw jealousy in his eyes.
