Eyes on Me

by Rachel Harris

  My eyebrows rose as a surprised rush of air escaped my lips. Seriously, who was this girl? People rarely wanted the truth. At least not in my experience. Sure, they said they did, but they didn’t really. They just wanted to hear something funny or cute or with enough detail they could pretend the conversation was a two-way street before diving back in with their own stories. Not that I was complaining. Canned, superficial answers were a hell of a lot easier than cutting myself open and giving the world even more of me. Most days it felt like the entire city knew my business. I didn’t need to share my every thought, too.

  But, as I was quickly learning, Lily wasn’t like most people.

  Releasing a heavy sigh, she turned back, and her mouth curved in a gentle half-smile. “I feel like I’ve been doing all the talking today. What about you? What are some of your favorite memories of the festival?”

  Crossing my arms, I thought back over seventeen years of family outings and smiled when it came to me. Brushing it aside, I scratched a phantom itch on my elbow and looked up at the swinging blue cars suspended in the air. “The same things you mentioned, I guess. Riding the rides with my parents. Eating churros with Angéla.”

  “Stone…” She huffed a breath. “I asked you to be real.”

  “What makes you think I’m not?” I peered at her curiously. “My sister and I used to live for those churros. In fact, training be damned, I’m grabbing one of those suckers when we get off this ride.”

  Lily pushed off the gate. “Yeah, I’m well acquainted with Angéla’s love of the churro, but see, that’s not really a memory. And it wasn’t the first thing you thought of, either.” My eyes widened before I could stop it, and she waved a finger at my face. “When I asked about your favorite memories, you smiled for real, then you dropped it and did that QB thing.”

  “QB thing?”

  “You know, where you fake a smile, but it doesn’t crinkle your eyes or activate your dimples,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Your guard goes up. You did it during the parade today, too. I mean, I get it. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a minor celebrity and always having people watching. But right now, it’s just me.” She shrugged. “I’m nobody. You can be honest with me, right?”

  I stared at her. The cloak of sadness from before was gone, replaced with a frankness that made me feel like I was back on the Tilt-a-Whirl. And even more on display than usual.

  She was right, of course; not that I didn’t love churros, but I had thought of a different memory first. The real answer, though, was personal and silly, and I made it a practice not to expose myself to possible criticism. Still, Lily had spent the afternoon sharing real things with me. She deserved for me to do the same. Especially since there were other things I was hiding.

  “We, uh, we were five,” I said, briefly glancing at the ride before meeting her eyes. I slid my hand around the back of my neck. “Dad had taken me to see the horses while Ma waited with Angéla to get her face painted. She wanted a rainbow across her entire forehead that went into her eyes.” I shook my head. “I told her later she looked like a multicolored alien. Anyway, when we got back, they weren’t at the stand anymore. Dad’s phone was dead, he never keeps it charged, and I could tell he was getting nervous we wouldn’t find them. His hand got tighter on mine, and his face got real tense, you know? He started walking faster, and with my short legs, I was almost running to keep up. Then I heard her. Giggling like crazy.”

  I laughed at the memory and moved forward in line. Lily smiled and shifted closer to me.

  “Angéla was in the pirate ship—the obstacle course thing for little kids? She refused to come out when Ma called, so the guy finally let our mom in to get her. Angéla thought it was a game. She made Ma chase her all over that stupid ship, shooting up the rope wall and ducking around inflatable boulders. Ma got all twisted up in the rope, and I thought for sure Dad would jump in to help her…but he just started laughing. This huge belly laugh that shook his shoulders and almost had him crying. Of course, I joined in. My old man never lost it like that, plus Angéla was laughing, too. My sister’s giggles still set me off, but back then? She was an angelic terror.”

  “Oh, I can imagine.” Lily’s smile widened as she leaned toward me like she wanted to hear more, and a knot in my chest loosened.

  “So Ma looked over at us, still holding onto that damn rope, and glared for at least thirty seconds before she started cracking up, too.” I shook my head with a laugh. “Angéla came out of hiding then, all smiles like she hadn’t just driven our mom batshit crazy, and skipped out the damn door like a happy little multicolored alien.”

  The carnie motioned us forward, and I gave him six tickets before waving Lily ahead to the waiting car. We pulled down the bar, and I put my arms over it, testing it for good measure.

  “That’s a nice memory,” she said, smiling at me with a wistful expression. “I’m an only child so I never had anyone to help me terrorize my parents. I had to do it on my own.” She laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You and Angéla seem close.”

  I nodded, watching the world drop as the ride carried us higher. “I’d do anything for her.”

  Lily studied the side of my face for a moment. “She’s lucky to have you.”

  I stopped myself from saying I was the lucky one. I’d shared enough already with the pirate ship story, and today was about proving a point, not baring our souls. “So, about the dare,” I said, clapping my hands and rubbing them together. “I think we need to set some ground rules.”

  She craned an eyebrow, looking suspicious. “What kind of ground rules?”

  “Nothing major. Just to make sure we’re on the same page and the parameters are clear. Otherwise, how will you know when I win?”

  “You mean when I win,” she clarified with a haughty grin, “but I see what you mean. All right, you may proceed with the commencement of the rules.”

  I shifted my back against the car’s side to face her. “Number one: no talk about studying or college when we’re together. You do that enough on your own, I’m sure, and this dare is about proving there’s fun to be had now. So we live in the moment whenever we’re hanging out or at lessons. No talk of the future.”

  “Easy enough.” Lily shot me a wary look. “Rule number two?”

  “You only get to veto one of my suggestions or you forfeit the dare.” Her eyes widened and then narrowed, and I quickly raised my hands. “But I promise not to suggest anything too over-the-top that will negatively impact your grades, either. I get how you are about that.”

  She seemed to consider this, a frown tugging the left side of her mouth, creating the tiniest divot in her cheek. My gaze traced it, along with the smoothness of her skin and the way her cherry lips parted when she finally nodded and asked, “Anything else?”

  “Uh, one more.” I cleared my throat and looked away. Holy shit, what was that? “It’s, uh, one you already agreed to anyway,” I stammered, shifting in my seat, “but I think it bears repeating.” I glanced back, keeping my eyes firmly on hers. “You have to take at least one dance lesson a week for the rest of the month.”

  “Oh, at least,” she repeated, those blue eyes shining like the thought of anything more than one was completely ludicrous. “Fine. I agree to these rules, as long as you agree that when I win, and/or you get bored and drop this whole charade, you can’t renege on your end of the deal.”

  “I’ll handle our parents if it comes to that, trust me,” I told her with a small grin, shaking off the last bit of weirdness…and keeping my thoughts off her lips.

  Lily scooted back in her seat, a triumphant tilt to her chin as she took in Cypress Lake from the sky, which meant I obviously had to knock her back down to reality.

  “You realize I’ve won this first round, right?” Her eyes shot back to mine. “You said earlier that the festival has nothing to do with high school, but that’s not entirely true. Almost the entire parade was about Brighton, and I’d wager half the crowd down there ei
ther goes to our school, went there, or will be going soon. Even if not, the point of the dare was never so much about the high school experience as it is about not waiting until college to have fun.”

  Lily blinked rapidly, her mouth opening and closing like a fish, and I grinned.

  “The way I see it, since you’re not holding a textbook, and you even admitted—near witnesses, mind you—that you had fun today, this round goes to me.”

  I leaned back in the seat, ankles crossed, a triumphant tilt to my head now. As the world went by outside our car, Lily remained upright, her calculating thoughts so loud I was sure the people in the car next to ours could hear them. After a moment, she exhaled and crossed her arms in defeat.

  “Yeah, well, don’t get used to winning, pretty boy,” she muttered, raising her eyebrow and giving me serious side-eye. “Because I’m on to you now.”

  Chapter Nine

  Stone

  In my next life, I planned to be rich enough to hire people to do my yard work. If not that, I’d at least follow Dad’s model and have a few kids to do it for me. Lifting the hem of my soiled tee, I swiped at my face, marveling at how the sun was setting and I was still dripping with sweat.

  Originally, the plan for today had been to make my appearance at the parade, shake a few hands, let some of the more outspoken “fans” let me know what I could do better on the field, then make my escape so I could catch up on the yard work I’d been putting off. Then Lily happened. Cameron throwing a wrench in my plans for her to ride with us didn’t help, so I’d had to improvise. Granted, I didn’t have to hang out with her as long as I did, but surprisingly, I’d had fun. More importantly, so had she. Victory was practically mine.

  With the lawn cut and gardens groomed, I was bagging up the last pile of weeds when a familiar green Prius pulled to a stop at the end of the driveway. Shit. Here was what my already exhausted brain needed: a visit from the ex.

  Cameron rolled down her passenger window. “Hey there, hot stuff. Need a hand?”

  Her smile was wide and hopeful as she leaned across the console, and I returned it with a forced, inauthentic one. A quick survey of the street proved there were no neighbors within earshot, but you could never be too careful. Small towns thrived on gossip. Tying off the bag with a bit more force than required, I shook my head. “Nope. Just finished.”

  Of course, that meant I had to carry the bag to the curb with the others, a fact she must’ve figured out, since she cut the engine and hopped out of the car. She leaned back against the hood and watched as I dropped the trash at her feet. “Perfect timing, then. I was hoping we could talk.”

  A sigh that had been building for six months heaved out of me, and my shoulders sank with the weight of it. When Cameron first cheated—well, no, when I first caught her cheating; who knew if that had been the first time?—I’d been angry. Hell, I’d been hurt. I’d poured almost a year into this girl, and I’d thought she was loyal. When I learned how wrong I’d been, I’d wanted nothing more than to make her pay for making me look like an idiot in front of the whole school—hell, in front of the entire town—but I’d swallowed it back and took it all with a canned smile and a shrug. Never let them see you sweat became more than just my approach to the field, thanks to Cameron, but now? Now I was over it. I’d gotten hopeful when she’d stopped coming to lessons over the summer, thinking it meant she was willing to let it go, too, but obviously I’d been mistaken.

  My jaws ached from how tightly they were clenched. I blew out a breath, praying she heard me this time and walked away. “Listen, Cammie, I’m not trying to be a dick about this. I’m really not. But there’s nothing left for us to say.”

  “I disagree,” she replied stubbornly, and I huffed a humorless laugh. “I know I messed up, okay? And I know I’ve apologized a hundred times, but I’ll try a hundred and one if it’ll make a difference. There’s no excuse for what I did. I was lonely, and Noah was there, but it was stupid and wrong, and I made a mistake. Just…let me prove it to you. Let me show you how sorry I am. All I want is another chance.”

  I’d give Cameron this, she was a great actress. For almost a year I’d had a first-row seat to her putting on a show for the school and her Instagram followers, so I knew how easily she could turn on the waterworks or the megawatt smile, whatever emotion the situation warranted. But looking into her warm brown eyes now, I saw the hurt and hope, and for the first time in a long time, I actually believed it.

  Still didn’t matter.

  “Your apology is noted, Cammie, but it doesn’t change anything. We’re over. I don’t know how much clearer to say it, and frankly, I don’t understand why you’re fighting this so hard again. It’s been six months. Don’t you think it’s time to call it?”

  Her lips tightened, and the hurt I saw quickly shifted to irritation. “Is this about Lily?”

  My head jerked back at the switch, and I felt my eyebrows squish together. “Is what about Lily? Me not wanting to take you back? Cameron, you cheated. And we weren’t even that happy before Noah. That is why I don’t want to get back together. Why would it have anything to do with Lily?”

  “I saw you with her yesterday,” she said, having the audacity to look jealous. “I’ve been coming to the studio for weeks, and you choose to dance with a girl who has two left feet. Why not me? Don’t you remember how well we moved together?”

  I shook my head in wonder. Was she serious right now? “Sorry, I must’ve hidden that memory behind the one of you sucking face with Ruckert.”

  A sharp look entered her eyes, and I instantly regretted my words. Now I sounded jealous.

  I sighed again, suddenly feeling like I’d been awake for a hundred years. Cameron didn’t deserve an explanation, but the last thing I wanted was for her to start targeting Lily. That girl had enough problems. She didn’t need my ex sniffing after her.

  “Look, Lily is a new student at the studio, and I was just helping out,” I told her. “We’re friends now. Sort of. But nothing’s going on there.”

  Cammie opened her mouth, like she wanted to push back, but she must’ve thought better of it. Instead, she reached back to scrape her hair into a loose ponytail and twisted it over her shoulder, her lips pinched like she was trying to decide her next move. Behind me, I heard the front door to the house open, and I glanced back to see Angéla lean her hip against the outdoor brick, a hard look in her eyes.

  To say my sister wasn’t a fan of my ex-girlfriend was putting it mildly. Very mildly. I fought back a laugh and shifted my focus to Cameron.

  The irritated lines on her face softened with a smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to argue with you—I just wanted to remind you that I’m here. That I’m always here. And whenever you decide you’re ready to forgive me, I’ll be waiting, okay?” She bit the edge of her lip and stared into my eyes. “I still love you, Stone.”

  With that final declaration, she turned around on her heel and got back into her car.

  …

  The garbage disposal rumbled with a flick of the switch, draining the water with a sucking gurgle. Staring at the sink, I related to that sound. After a very long, strange, drama-filled day, I was officially dead on my feet. Canned laughter floated from the living room, where our parents were watching an old sitcom on Netflix while Angéla and I finished cleaning the kitchen.

  “I think the mayor should declare the day after the festival a holiday,” I said, pushing up onto the squeaky-clean counter as Angéla scrubbed at dried sauce on the stove. “No one’s gonna be productive tomorrow anyway. Almost the entire town was at the parade.”

  “You wouldn’t hear me complain.” Angéla tossed the sponge in the sink and hung her head. “I have a test in Advanced Math first period. The universe is out to get me.”

  Snorting at her theatrics, I snagged a red apple from the bowl. We’d eaten dinner a half hour ago, but I was still hungry. Ma liked to say I’d eat her out of house and home one day, so clearly, she’s where my sister inherited her flair f
or the dramatic.

  “Hey, I didn’t get to thank you for jumping in with the Lily situation this morning,” I told her, polishing the fruit on my shirt.

  “No thanks required,” she replied, reaching over and popping the back of my hand. The apple flew from my grip, and she snatched it from the air. Angéla grinned as she took a bite. “Lily’s awesome,” she mumbled around her mouthful. “I liked hanging out with her.”

  Chuckling, I snagged a second apple, a Golden Delicious this time—which happened to be my favorite—and waggled my eyebrows. You learned to be sneaky with a sister like mine.

  Angéla pushed up to sit on the island opposite me. “You know people were talking after the parade.”

  “What people?”

  She shot me a look that said I was being dense. “Your ex for one. Cameron’s feathers were all kinds of ruffled, and Robbie kept asking when you started dating another smart chick.”

  Damn. People were always in my business. “We’re not dating,” I muttered, tipping my head back against the cabinet—and trying not to think about that weird moment on the Ferris wheel. “Lily and I are friends. She’s a sweet girl who’s way too serious, and I’m trying to help her loosen up. That’s all.”

  “Well I like her,” Angéla declared, swinging her feet. “We’re both Becas, which means we’re destined to be besties. Hate to say it, but you’re gonna have to share her, bro.”

  My smile spread. Luckily, I was well versed in Angéla’s movie-speak, so I understood the reference. Even more, I liked the idea of Lily and my sister being friends. Angéla always seemed to attract girls who either wanted to use her to get closer to me or were passive-aggressive in their jealousy of her. She’d never had a solid friend like I had in Chase.

  Lily could be good for her, and Angéla could probably get her to lighten up, too. All afternoon I’d been thinking about her slip about being sick and her dad mentioning a recent stress issue. After seeing Lily at the festival, relaxed and having fun, I liked the idea of this dare even more. If I could help her not be so stressed, it’d go a long way in making me feel less guilty about hiding the truth. Especially after all her talk about being real.