Angéla sighed. Her lips pressed into a tight, sad smile, and I staggered back at the emotion in her eyes. Pity.
My breathing spiked as the memories attached to that emotion rushed to the surface.
“I only just heard about it or I would’ve called you at home.” Her gaze fell to her cell phone. “A rumor went viral on Snapchat. Supposedly Cameron…” She bit her lip, then started again. “Supposedly, Cameron overheard a conversation last night. Between my brother and your dad.”
I swallowed thickly. “Oh yeah?” My thoughts tripped over the previous night’s events. “Wait, what conversation? They didn’t talk. Even if they had, Cameron left before we did.”
“I don’t know.” Angéla shoved her phone in her pocket, then smoothed her hand down her jean-clad leg. “She says it happened near the parking lot? It’s not like I believe any of it anyway.” Her dark eyes widened, and a new emotion joined the one linked to so much pain. “Don’t you believe it either, Lily. I’m telling you, Stone wouldn’t do this. If he’s not in love with you already, he’s falling hard. Trust me, there’s no way any of this is true.”
“What’s true?” I bit out, and heads across the lot whipped in our direction. I grabbed hold of the charm at my neck and struggled to take a deep breath. Lowering my voice, I asked, “What did Cameron say she overheard?”
I wasn’t sure I wanted an answer. Stone and I hadn’t exchanged the words, but even if Angéla was wrong, I knew how I felt. I loved him. A sense of foreboding whispered across me, telling me to get back in the car and beg Syd to take me home.
Angéla sighed, then stepped in front of me and put her hand on my shoulder. “She’s saying your dad paid Stone to be with you…and that Ilusiòn got a bonus for putting you in the showcase.”
For one, drawn-out moment, the entire world went still.
There were no cars pulling into the lot behind us. No classmates gathering in a small circle. No wind on my face, no sun in the sky. Just my soft-hearted friend staring into my eyes with sympathy, and the press of shocked pain resting on my sternum.
The blast of a car horn rocked me out of my trance, and I inhaled sharply, dragging air into my lungs. Then, I turned on shaky legs and started walking.
“Where are you going?”
Angéla fell into step beside me, and Sydney flanked my other side. Both girls had to practically push people out of our way.
“To the gym,” I replied, my voice sounding odd and far away. “Practice should be over.”
Although I didn’t believe a word Cameron had posted, I wanted to hear that from Stone’s lips. I needed to see his eyes go hard and hear him call her a liar. Then I could figure out how to respond.
The crowd followed us, and en route to the gym, I heard every whisper. Felt every stare. They were like tiny pinpricks of pain, each one stabbing and tugging me back to freshman year. Back to the days when I’d been pitied and ignored.
Hadn’t I just been thinking that I’d liked the attention at Homecoming?
Hadn’t I started walking the halls, finally feeling like I belonged?
The whispers of my classmates called me a fool. That was worse than being a ghost.
The metal door banged open and then stayed that way as I walked into the gym, followed by what felt like half the senior class. Syd and Angéla closed ranks on either side, and I picked up the pace, trying to outrun the panic building inside. I shoved it down, even as a wave of fear rolled over me. I needed to see Stone.
Luckily, halfway across the open floor, two familiar faces stepped out of the wing leading to the team gym. Stone and Chase were laughing, shoving each other as they ambled out, and the former’s face lit up when he saw me.
“Hey there, pretty girl,” he called, though his voice fell off as the crowd formed a loose circle around us. He glanced at our classmates in confusion, then dropped his bag. The sound echoed in the cavernous gym. “What’s wrong?”
My already-racing heart picked up speed. “Is it true?”
Snickers erupted, and Stone shot our audience a menacing look. When he focused back on me, a slight hint of fear was in his eyes. The hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention.
“Is what true?” he asked.
“Did my dad…” I paused to inhale more air. “Pay you to be with me?”
My quiet voice belied the pit that had opened in my stomach. As my question was repeated in hushed whispers, Stone’s entire body froze. Then his nostrils flared, and he turned on his best friend. Chase lifted his hands, stepping back with wide eyes.
Pain lanced my heart as their actions confirmed everything.
Angéla gasped, and wave after wave of agony crashed over me. The gnawing pit in my stomach stretched wide, tearing me open, and I wrapped my arms around my body as if I could hold myself together. As if I could stop the bleeding. Needles shot down my legs, and as my knees buckled, Stone lurched to grab me.
“Stay back!” I screeched, my yell bouncing off the shiny floor as I stumbled.
The crowd went silent, and Stone raised his hands.
“Lily, please.” He went to touch me again and stopped short when I flinched. I clutched at my chest, needing more air, and he shoved his hand through his hair. “Please. Let me help you.”
I shook my head, looking at the ceiling as I focused on my breathing. In through my nose, out through my mouth. Just like the guided meditations had taught. If I could’ve, I would’ve laughed at the irony. For the last month, Stone had been my calm. Now…now he was the storm.
As I struggled, a conversation I’d had with Aidan weeks ago came to mind. This had to be it. This was why Stone had asked about me in the gym long before we’d made our dare. He’d been gathering intel for his plan.
My vision went fuzzy at the edges, but I managed to drag in enough oxygen to ask the question tearing my heart in two. “Were you paid”—I paused for another ragged breath and looked him in the eye—“to kiss me, too?”
Horror washed over his face. “No! Of course not. It wasn’t like that.” With a curse, he grabbed my arms, ignoring my flinch. “I don’t know how you found out, or what you heard, but it doesn’t matter. I should’ve told you, from the beginning. But if you listen—”
His words fell into the void created by my hazy head and pounding heart.
A quick glance proved the crowd had moved closer, some now with their phones out. Ready and eager to capture my epic meltdown for posterity.
Tears pricked my eyes. As I sucked in a shallow breath, a surreal feeling came over me. One minute, I was in my body, and the next, it was like I’d detached from myself. Everything was still happening, but to someone else, and I watched it play out in real time. I saw the people staring, saw them judging. I noticed Stone’s mouth moving, the tendons in his neck popping out.
Get away. Before you lose control.
Knocking free of Stone’s grasp, I slid my hands behind my neck and fumbled with the clasp of my necklace. “It was all a lie,” I mumbled, talking to myself.
He shook his head anyway. “No. No, it wasn’t. Baby, I’m telling you—”
“You were pretending,” I interrupted, my voice breathy and winded as I fought with the chain. “The whole time. God, I…I thought you wanted me.”
“I did!” Stone said fiercely, opening and closing his extended hands, clearly wanting to touch me but keeping his distance. “Baby, I do want you. Will you please just listen? Stop being so stubborn and let me explain.”
A harsh laugh broke free. “Stubborn?” A final yank released the clasp of my necklace, ripping strands of hair from my scalp. I gathered it in my hand and threw it at him. “Don’t you mean fierce?”
What an idiot I was. Believing a giraffe could become a swan. Or that the king of the school could ever want me.
The gathered crowd was a blur of faces, not one of them clear, but I knew what I would’ve seen if they had been. Pity and judgment. So much for fitting in.
Stone’s hand clenched around the necklace, and I wan
ted to suggest he give it to his next charity case. But the oxygen wasn’t there to speak. I was seconds away from losing control, and I couldn’t let him—couldn’t let our classmates—see me fall apart.
Turning on my heel, I fled.
Behind me, Sydney growled. Angéla told someone to let me go. Stone, Chase, I didn’t know. The crowd parted so I could run away with my tail between my legs, staying blissfully quiet as I pushed out the gym doors and sprinted back to the parking lot, panic chasing at my heels.
My breaths came faster and faster. Previous experience had taught me the symptoms would soon end, but I couldn’t help wondering if I’d suffocate before then. My hands grappled with the latch to Sydney’s door, and when it finally opened, I threw myself onto the back seat. Stretching out, arching my neck to find air.
The girls…they’ll find me here.
That was my last coherent thought before darkness closed in.
Chapter Thirty
Stone
My shoulders hunched as I put my truck in park. Glancing up at Lily’s house, the burgundy brick facade glared at me like a giant red stop sign. Do not pass.
I imagined the beast of a man living inside had even harsher words to say.
My grip tightened around the wheel. In all honesty, I could handle Mr. Bailey. It was his daughter I feared. Lily’s face had haunted me all day, seeing her knees buckle and her screaming for me to stay back…then later, when she’d brokenly asked if I’d been paid to kiss her, too.
Swallowing back bile, I rested my head against the seat.
How did things get so screwed up? If we could’ve talked, if she would’ve let me explain, everything would be fine. Or if not fine, at least she wouldn’t be believing the worst. Instead, I’d let her walk away. By the time I’d snapped out of it and pushed past her security guards—Angéla and Sydney—she’d been nowhere in sight.
When lunch rolled around and she was still missing, I’d cornered my twin. Angéla could barely look at me, even after learning the truth, but she’d admitted Lily had gone home sick. It had taken her, Chase, Sydney, and Aidan to stop me from following her, and in the end, only two things had kept me from ditching.
Coach had warned me: skip again and I’d be benched. If that would’ve only affected me, I’d have said screw it and left. Let the town talk. But my future wasn’t the only one on the line. The entire team was counting on me, and tomorrow’s game was huge. Recruiters were watching.
The double-whammy came from Sydney, who’d venomously pointed out that Lily’s dad had taken her to the hospital for tests, and now she was home and needed her rest. Evidently, panic attacks took a lot out of a person—and my girl had suffered a massive one. Because of me.
I slammed my hands against the wheel. The electric jolt that shot up my arm was nothing short of what I deserved. Fuck. I was supposed to be the one taking away Lily’s stress, not making her sick. Hearing she’d spiraled so hard she passed out? God. It killed me.
Unable to ditch, and not giving a shit about classes, I did the only thing I could. Gossip had exploded after our showdown, but I’d chased the fires, putting them out left and right, starting right there in the gym with Angéla and Sydney—who was a fucking pit bull, by the way. Next time I got in a fight, I wanted that girl on my side. She was equal parts Emma Watson and Freddy Krueger. Smart and terrifying.
Jury was still out on if she or Angéla would forgive me, or if our classmates would believe facts over fiction. With Cameron’s convenient disappearance midmorning, there was only so much I could do. The rumor mill was a runaway bitch, and once again, I was at the center of it. By now, I was used to it. Lily wasn’t.
I glanced up at her window. The curtains were closed, the blinds shut. A vision of her cinnamon hair spread out like a halo on her pillow as tears glided down her swollen cheeks flashed in my mind, making my stomach roil.
Veto. Tell your mom I’m sorry.
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t think about the text she’d sent me. Instead, I grabbed the cursed shoebox and climbed out of the truck. The weight was back in my chest, crushing my lungs, and as I hauled myself to the front door, sweat gathered at my hairline. Sticky drops slid down my spine, and the box trembled in my hand. My stomach was somewhere near my shoes.
What would she do when she answered? Turn me away? Slam the door in my face? My heart pounded so hard I was sure they could hear it inside. Blowing out a breath, I lifted my hand and rapped on the door.
I’d hoped to avoid a confrontation here. I’d swung by the library, just in case she’d shown up for tutoring, but she hadn’t. Liam was there, though, and he’d brandished his aced math test like Harry Potter’s wand. I’d fought through a smile for the kid, arranged for Ms. Joice to bring him to the sidelines tomorrow, then took off for my truck, planning to head here. Halfway to the lot, I’d gotten her text.
Faint footsteps had me flexing and curling my fingers. The door opened, and I wasn’t surprised by who answered. Cold, hard eyes told me any ground I’d won last night had been decimated by Cameron’s stunt, but I’d earn it back again. After I talked with his daughter.
I peered around Mr. Bailey’s imposing frame, hoping to catch a flash of red.
“She’s in her room.” His gruff reply to my unspoken question had me leaning back, bracing my shoulders.
“Can I come in?”
“No.” A vein pulsed in his neck, and he pulled the door closer, blocking my sightline. “Lily needs her space right now. She’s hurting.” The flash of anger quickly gave way to guilt as his deep voice cracked, and the steel band around my chest constricted. “I haven’t seen her like this since…” He pressed his thin lips together. “Since her mother.”
Damn, that hurt.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath as my arms physically ached to hold her. Blowing it back out, I tried again. “Mr. Bailey, that’s why I’m here. I want to make it right. If you’ll just let me in for a few minutes, I can tell her the truth and she’ll see—”
“She already knows, Stone.”
My mouth hovered open. Then I shook my head. “No. No, she doesn’t. She wouldn’t let me explain. She ran…”
Mr. Bailey grimaced. “Yeah, she tried icing me out, too. Sydney filled me in on what happened when I picked her up. I let her digest things for a few hours, but on the way home from the hospital, we talked.” He glanced at the ground. “I told her everything.”
I stared at him blankly. “So she knows it’s not as bad as it sounded.”
He huffed a breath and raised his eyes. “That ex of yours is a piece of work.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered, scrubbing a hand across my mouth.
Okay, so Lily knew the truth. That was good, right? I mean, I’d wanted to be the one to tell her. I’d planned on looking into those big, beautiful eyes so she could look right back into mine and see for herself how I felt. That way she’d understand what we had was amazing, and it had jack-shit to do with money—even if it had been what brought us together.
Clearly, that plan was out the window. I needed to recalibrate.
On the plus side, she no longer thought the worst. She knew Cameron had lied, and everything else was a misunderstanding. But, if so, why hadn’t she opened the door? Why wasn’t she standing here, telling me this herself?
I glanced beyond Mr. Bailey’s linebacker shoulders, trying to see into the living room. “You said you told her on the way home?”
“About two hours ago,” he confirmed, watching me curiously. Which meant he saw the exact moment reality hit.
She knew before she’d texted.
It really was over. Lily knew the truth, and it didn’t matter. She still didn’t want me.
In a sick, morbid way, I was relieved. The world made sense again. I’d always known she was too good for me, and now, evidently, she’d realized it, too.
Woodenly, I lifted the box in my hand. “Here. Take it.”
Mr. Bailey shot me a look that said he either expected a snake to po
p out of the box or for me to crumble at his feet, but I was good. Numbness was setting in. With a sigh, he took the box and opened it, then raised his head in confusion.
“Count it,” I told him, staring blankly at the brick wall. “It’s all there.”
Every dirty, tainted bill was in that box. Returning it sent me right back to where I’d been when this whole mess started six weeks ago, but that didn’t matter. Not anymore.
“I don’t understand. Lily told me about Ilusiòn’s troubles. She guessed that was why you’d agreed to our deal.”
I winced. Unexpected, the pain ripped through my protective shield of detachment, and the threat of tears burned my eyes. Lily got me. Probably better than anyone else ever had.
“It was,” I said roughly, stepping back from the porch. “It was the only reason.”
Backing up more, I shoved my shaking hands in my pockets and looked around. My shields were down, the numbness gone, and I was embarrassingly close to losing it on their front lawn.
Almost to myself, I said, “I thought it could help, but it’s not worth it. Not like this.” A lump lodged in my throat, and I struggled to swallow it down. “I should’ve never taken the money. It makes me sick. It was my job to be at the studio, and dancing with Lily…” I closed my eyes again as the pressure mounted behind my sinuses. “It changed my life.”
I ducked my head, fighting the surge. Mr. Bailey embodied control. If I lost my shit in front of him, I could never look him in the eyes. But my feet felt glued to the damn ground. I couldn’t walk away.
From the corner of my eye, I saw him shift his massive weight, and I clenched my jaw as cars passed behind me on the street. If he doubted my intentions again, or tried saying this was for the best, I swear, I was gonna lose it.
“You really care about her, don’t you?”
“I’m in love with her,” I admitted, gritting my teeth, tightening down, doing everything I could to resurrect my shield as guilt and pain and what-ifs threatened to drown me where I stood. As the waves battered, a heavy hand fell on my shoulder.
Eyes on Me Page 27
