by J. K Harper
And there you had it, my third reason. I didn’t need a man in my life. No, I didn’t want a man in my life.
Snowballs flew beneath me, the tinkle of laughter penetrating the glass and piercing through the veil of separation I kept wrapped close around me, a comfort blanket I wasn’t quite ready to abandon.
I sucked in a breath as a scowl crept over the large man’s face, could hear the low growl trickle from his lips. Heart pounding in my chest I reached for the door, flinging my body down the stairs in a jumble of arms and legs.
The scream died on my lips as I froze in the threshold, the sight in front of me stealing my breath. They were laughing at him!
And he wasn’t doing anything.
Actually, he was. He was walking directly toward me.
Diving into the shadows, I waited until I heard his footsteps fade, peering around to watch his broad back retreating across the courtyard.
What had I thought he was going to do? Reprimand them? Hit them? Beat the living shit out of them? It just went to show how fucked up I really was; I couldn’t even watch a snowball fight without imagining the worst.
Sliding into a heap by the door, I sent a silent thanks that no one was around to witness my near nuclear meltdown. I replayed my reaction with a dispassionate eye. I was getting better. I knew I was, but I wasn’t anywhere near where I needed to be…yet. I had a lot of work to do, and not a lot of time to do it.
My heart settled back into its familiar rhythm, the steady thud calming me, even as my mind continued to race. I needed to up my game; it was time to move out of my comfort zone. Smithrock had been good to me, to Lizzie, but I couldn’t depend on their hospitality forever. I had to be able to look after my little family. And I wasn’t going to conquer my fear by hanging around the packhouse. They walked on egg shells around me, the men speaking in soft whispers so as not to spook me.
I needed to spend some time with a man who wouldn’t treat me with kid gloves, who’d expect me to react like a normal person. So I could re-learn how to live.
But my reason number three still stood—I didn’t need a man in my life. Not now, not ever. And especially not the doctor. Nope. He was too…nice.
Shoving up off the floor, I yanked open the door before I got the idea in my head to tuck my tail between my legs and run.
I blinked at the cotton plaid chest blocking my view, following the row of buttons up, past a tantalizing stretch of tanned skin, dusted with short, dark hairs, and up to a square jaw.
No man ever stood this close to me; close enough that I could breathe him in with every labored inhalation.
Dark hair dusted his jaw, surrounding wide and generously proportioned lips. Kissable lips. The words whispered through my mind, bringing with them the image of him leaning down and putting those unfairly gorgeous lips to good use. Scandalous use. A use that shouldn’t even be crossing my mind.
Ripping my eyes away from the object of my fascination, I found myself ensnared by a sea of green. Little crinkles edged their way out from the corner of each eye, thick brows framing and placing the face firmly on the right side of masculine, despite the fact that they were lined with long lashes a supermodel would cry for.
They were kind eyes. I knew that because I had studied them for weeks from afar. But the look in these eyes right now wasn’t kind. It wasn’t gentle. Or calm. Or professional.
It was heat. Pure and simple. They burned with a green flame. They burned into me.
Chapter 3
Jack
She’s beautiful.
The bag fell from my hand, landing at my feet with a thud.
I couldn’t breathe—couldn’t think past the woman in front of me. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. The way she was staring at me, her gaze wrapping around me and squeezing tight.
Brown eyes blinked at me, out of a face surrounded by a cloud of red.
I held back the urge to drag my hand through that cloud, to twist my fingers into the strands and tug her closer. Need hummed beneath my skin, speeding through my veins in a rush that had my cock deciding now was the perfect moment to try and wrest control of my body.
Mine…
Perfect. Now my bear was chiming in, his roar almost deafening—
Wait…mine? I dragged in a deep breath, tasting her on my tongue. Lilac and mint, her scent sinking into me and finding a home. Joy washed over me as I realized what my bear had known on instinct. I had found her… The years of searching were finally over, I would be alone no more.
I leaned toward her, mentally begging her to respond, to let me know she could feel this thing between us. That I wasn’t alone in my instant infatuation.
Panic slid behind her eyes, the brown dulling as the heat flickered, then extinguished.
Forcing my body to obey, I gave my bear a shove and pushed him back down, deep inside, until I was fully back in control. It took everything I had, but I managed to step back, the air between us forming a barrier I could almost feel. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met,” I murmured, failing to keep the huskiness out of my voice. I ducked my head, hunching my shoulders in a sheepish shrug I hoped would convey a silent apology.
At her silence, I continued, “I’m Jack, the local doctor. I’ve been visiting with Catherine, checking up on her baby.”
Still nothing. Her pulse hammered in her throat, but the fluttering had slowed.
Despair hit me. Along with the knowledge that this woman—my true mate—had been one of the ones taken and abused. An avalanche of fury followed swiftly on its heels. At myself, for not being there. At the world, for letting this happen. And at the man, who’d done this to her.
She swallowed, her throat working, then the corner of her lips curved up in a determined smile. “Pleased to meet you,” she whispered.
A glimmer of hope eased its way through the emotions churning inside of me, but my heart stopped at the break in her voice. Turning away from the doorway, I gestured the exit with a raised eyebrow. “Were you on your way out?”
“Kind of.”
It wasn’t much, but it was a start. Taking a chance, I pushed away from the door, scooped up my bag, and headed out onto the porch.
Silence. Then movement behind me. “I thought you were leaving; did you need to see someone else?”
It took every ounce of self-control I had not to let a wide grin spread over my face at her question, the knowledge that she’d been watching me sinking in.
Our footsteps sounded heavy on the wrap-around porch, the solid frame providing shelter from the crisp winter breeze that whistled down from the mountains, bringing with it the promise that a storm followed brisk on its heels. She’d followed me out, into the open, her arms curling around her and eyes widening at the bite in the air. A rosiness crept into her cheeks, tinting them a healthy pink that clashed with her hair, and I got my first real look at the woman who had rocked my world in a matter of seconds.
“I was leaving,” I murmured, testing for a reaction. “I need to go over and see James and Kara.” My future mate was tall for a human, but next to my six-foot-four frame she appeared endearingly fragile. Her lush curves might be thought of as too much for a mere human male, but for a bear shifter like me, with large hands and a large appetite, she was perfect.
“Is Kara okay?” she asked, an anxious note to her voice.
So, she knew the neighboring alpha pair, enough to care about their well-being, anyway. Leaning a shoulder against the side of the house, I flashed her a quick grin. “She’s fine. Grumpy, a little pissed off, and suffering from a case of overbearing mate syndrome, but nothing that won’t be cured in the next few months.”
The air whooshed out of her, verbally spanking me for my delay in assuaging her concern. Idiot! “Are you good friends with the Colstones?”
Her eyes widened a fraction at my off-tangent question. “Me? Uh, yes. I suppose you could say so. I’ve not known them long, but they’ve been kind to me and—” She broke off, her lips clamping shut so tight that
strain bracketed her generous mouth. “Do you like being a doctor?” she blurted out, taking hold of the conversation and blatantly warning me away from any line of questioning.
It was my turn to blink at her. I wasn’t an egotistical maniac, by any stretch, but I thought I was pretty good at sizing people up. In all fairness, it was a part of what made me so good at my job, the ability to size up a person or situation and figure them out. To know what made them tick, what they were going to do next. And this woman had turned my snap assessment on its ass.
“It’s all I’ve ever done,” I answered honestly. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d wanted a different life, or considered another career. I was the only one of my brothers to go into medicine, the others choosing different paths, each more suited to their personalities.
Ralph, the eldest of the five of us, owned a steakhouse in the main town. Having lived the celebrity life in the city, he’d been forced back to Craggstone when it became obvious that life in the limelight wasn’t going to work for someone with a secret like ours. Craig, the next in line, and the one who craved solitude the most, was the creative type, turning his hand to woodworking. Then there came me, the middle child. Then Max, who I’d left back in the city. He was a fire chief, the danger and excitement of his job the only thing keeping him sane. And finally, there was Ryan, the Sheriff for Craggstone town. Though, while Max craved the thrill of danger, Ryan was more of a quiet type. Strong and steady, he guarded the townspeople with a careful eye.
Two thrill seekers, one hermit, and another determined to right everyone’s wrongs, and then there was me. Surrounded by such large and varied personalities growing up, and the multitude of broken bones and various wounds that came from a group of boys, it was no wonder I’d turned to medicine. Even if just to keep Mom sane.
“Jack?”
Her voice grounded me back in the present, something I was finding harder and harder to keep track of recently. “Sorry, I was daydreaming.”
She leaned against the wall, hugging her arms around her stomach. “You looked…peaceful.” She sounded wistful, the longing in her eyes echoing the emotion.
A chuckle burst from me, and I smothered it with a cough. “Not exactly…peaceful. I was thinking about my family, my brothers to be specific. But, happy, sure.”
She nodded, accepting my answer for what it was. “That’s good.” She didn’t probe for more information, nor did she follow the natural path I’d opened up for her. But she’d relaxed, her breathing slow and measured, her fingers uncurled from the tight little balls she’d fisted them into.
I was calling it a win. But, where to go from here?
“It must be nice, helping people.” It wasn’t phrased as a question; it was more a statement clarifying something she already knew to be true.
Simply put, she got it. Why I did what I did. Why I worked the long hours, investing every ounce of myself in my patients, enduring their pain, their struggles, and their heartache, along with the wins and the highs when we won the fight.
Would she laugh if I told her it was what I’d been born to do? That even as a young cub I’d been unable to bear a person or animal in distress without offering assistance. “I can’t help myself,” I admitted, taking a chance.
Her lips curved up in a smile, so sweet and genuine, I knew, right there and then, I’d give anything to keep that smile on her face. “That’s because you’re a good man. I knew you were.” She pushed away from the wall, turning to leave.
What the hell had just happened? I had the strangest feeling that I’d failed some sort of test. Bizarrely. My hand shot out and I managed to stop it before it reached her shoulder, instinct telling me that she would shy away. “Wait, you never gave me your name.”
Her voice trailed behind her as she walked away, “Gina.”
“You’re Lizzie’s mom?” The question was out before I could filter it. But it wasn’t the question itself, it was the compassion I couldn’t keep out of my voice. Both for her…and for me. Confirmation. Dammit! Nice work, asshole.
Her back stiffened, then she turned, her brown eyes flashing with determination. “Before you ask, yes, I was one of his first. And, no, I don’t need fixing.”
Before I had the chance to figure out a reply, she’d walked away.
Chapter 4
Gina
Screw it, screw it, screw it… I blinked furiously, moving as swiftly as I could through the house without attracting unwanted attention. No one had seen me cry since I’d arrived; no way was I spoiling my perfect record now.
And why the hell was I crying? It was something I’d given up a long time ago since it didn’t do anything apart from give you a red, blotchy face and make you feel like crap. Didn’t stop people from hurting you, didn’t make the world a better place.
Damn him and his kindness. I knew deep down inside what was wrong. Even a pro at dodging emotions like I was would have been able to connect the dots. I was sick of people looking at me like I was a broken bird, like I was damaged goods. Like I could never be more than what had been done to me. I wasn’t Gina anymore; I was a victim. But…for a few minutes, he’d seen me as a woman. Nothing more, nothing less.
My attempt at flirting had been awful—laughable, really. But it wasn’t like I’d had any practice, and he hadn’t seemed to mind.
It doesn’t matter. I didn’t even know why I was making such a big deal out of it. I wasn’t interested in him, or any man.
I had almost reached my room and was feeling rather proud of how I’d talked myself down when a hand clamped down on my shoulder.
Blood flooded my mouth as I bit back the scream, but I couldn’t control the way I flung myself against the wall.
“Shit! Sorry, Gina. For a second there, I forgot.”
I straightened up, brushing away the apology with a weak smile. “It’s fine, Monica, you don’t need to treat me any different than the rest.” Though obviously she did, if the marching band going on inside my chest was anything to go by. And she was a wolf shifter, so she was able to hear it loud and clear. “Can I help you with anything?”
The other woman looked at me with a sheepish expression on her face, her hands twisting into knots where she clasped them. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter,” she eventually blurted out, making to move away.
“Monica…” I admonished, folding my arms across my chest and giving her my best stern look. We might be around the same age, and her a wolf shifter with more power in her little finger than I had in my whole body, but I had lived a harder life.
“Okay, okay. Can Lizzie come for a sleepover? Lottie’s been begging, and I said I’d ask.”
I knew enough to recognize a diversion when I heard one. Even though my heart clenched at the thought of my baby spending even one more night away from me, after the years of not knowing exactly where or how she was, I nodded. “Lizzie would love that. Maybe over the weekend, and we’ll have Lottie stay one night next week?”
Monica blew out a sigh of relief, her hands unclenching as her shoulders eased down from where they’d been hovering somewhere around her ears. “Perfect.” This time I let her get two steps away.
“What was it you really wanted to ask me, Monica?”
She spun around. “Damn! How do you do that?”
I unlocked my bedroom door, gesturing for her to follow. “Which part?” Moving over to the window, I pushed it open, partly to air the room, and partly out of a macabre need to see if Jack were still hanging around.
No sign of him, but footsteps in the snow marked his path to the forest.
It wasn’t disappointment I was feeling, no way. Liar.
Monica lowered herself onto the small couch at the end of my bed, tucking her feet up and under her. “Not the part about you knowing I’m hiding something. I’m a horrible liar, I know that. I mean the part where you make me feel like I need to tell you,” she grumbled, but she was smiling.
Joining her on the couch, I couldn’t help but laugh at her disgruntled expr
ession. “It comes from being a mom. Don’t worry, you’ll get there in the end. Give it some time, you’re still new to it all.” Monica had one of the biggest hearts I knew. It wasn’t that she’d given Lottie somewhere to call home, it was that she’d opened her heart up to a child that had never known love.
Thinking of Josh, I bit back a smirk. Okay, she’d never known the love of an adult. Josh and Lottie adored each other, though the young boy would rather die than admit the fact out loud.
To be young and discovering the world again…
“Gina?”
“Hmmm? Sorry, what?”
“I was just saying that if I am ever as good a mom as you, then I’ll be happy.”
I’m not a good mother… It was on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed the words. No need to disillusion the other woman, not when her adventure into parenthood had only begun. Hopefully, her lessons would be kind. “You’re doing a great job,” was what I actually said. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. Good deed done for the day. “So, what was it that you wanted to ask?”
“There’s no distracting you, is there?”
I grinned back at her, stretching my legs out in front of me. “Nope, so spit it out.”
“Fine. I have a…predicament.” She flushed beet red, yet on her, with her dark looks, it only served to heighten her natural prettiness.
That redheads were born with the blushing gene was truly unfair.
I waited her out, knowing from experience that people couldn’t fight the urge to fill an unnatural silence.
“I don’t like blood.” The words came out on a rush, as though she’d revealed a dire secret.
“But you’re a cook and deal with raw meat every day.”
“I know! I manage in the kitchen because it’s only a little bit, and not all the time.”
