“It’s not like Gunther thinks things logically through,” Cash replied to her. All she could do now was stand there and gape at us.
“I…I…”
It seemed like she was a little shell-shocked. Had she never experienced anything like this before?
The thought occurred to me right then that this was probably a good thing. As crazy as it sounded!
Maybe this was exactly the kind of jolt of reality that Thea needed so she could see for herself what a dangerous game she was playing by getting herself so intimately involved with Gunther.
I watched her as she moved amongst the guys, checking out the open gashes and wounds where some of them had gotten hurt.
Grimm was calling for Church, gathering us around him so we could plan our next move. But there was something different about Thea now. Earlier, she would have been excited about a meeting like this where she could plan and talk about how they were going to take Gunther down. But this time, it seemed like she wanted to remain in the background.
As twisted as it was, in my head I was secretly glad that Gunther had decided to drunkenly attack us tonight. Even though he had put our lives in danger at the same time.
“Okay, that’s it. We go ahead with our plan the next time he suggests meeting Thea,” Rogue growled once we’d arranged ourselves in a semi-circle around Grimm again.
“Yeah, no more wasting time. Thea, this time we need to make sure he sees you alone!” Grimm stated.
She hadn’t directly joined the group. She was standing in the background, in the shadows, nodding her head along, but I could sense that her mind wasn’t really in the conversation.
“Y…yes, sure, yeah…that’s what he said he would do. He said he would meet me alone the next time.”
“But if he calls you to set up your little rendezvous, you need to make sure it is the kind of set up where we can take a few direct hits at him and his thugs won’t be around to hold you back or attack us.”
Thea nodded her head wildly, but I could see she was nervous. Was she having second thoughts?
“Yeah, sure, I’ll do that when I talk to him. If he calls me. I think I’m going to go now. I’m quite tired. Long night and all that.” She said all of it in one breath.
It was obvious she was a little flustered. The others didn’t say much to that as she rushed to the door, seeing herself out without looking over her shoulder once at us.
Patch turned to me when she’d left.
“You think she’s changing her mind on this?” he asked, and I shrugged.
“How am I supposed to know what she’s going to do? It’s not like I can read her mind or anything,” I replied. The others discussed Thea for a bit, they were all hoping she hadn’t changed her mind because that was the only plan they had at the moment against Gunther.
I didn’t know what I wanted.
I wanted Thea to be safe, and at the same time I wanted Gunther taken care of as well.
Either way, I hoped she would make the right decision for herself. Tonight, had obviously been a very telling night for everyone. It seemed like things were about to change around here.
18
Thea
I arrived back to my apartment and felt like I was completely out of breath, like I’d run here even though I’d driven my car. I locked the door behind me and then went around the place, making sure that all the windows were tightly shut.
For the first time in a very long time, I was actually feeling afraid. Afraid of what? For my life? Afraid of Gunther? I didn’t know what it was.
Feeling sick and cold and like I was going to break out in cold sweats, I went over and sat down on the couch in my living room. I threw the thin blanket over me and lay myself down in the fetal position, hoping it would help with my anxiety.
Slowly, as my breathing began to even out, I realized I was thinking about Drake. I was picturing him dying. The truth was that I had barely come to terms with his death before. I always blocked myself from thinking about that night his friends brought him over to our apartment. I always pushed those thoughts out of my mind because I knew what they were capable of doing to me. I could go crazy if I opened that door.
But tonight, hearing those gunshots, the sound of Gunther’s cackling laughter in the air as he took those shots at the clubhouse. The commotion, the raw violence, the sense of imminent danger…and the fact that anything could happen. Any one of those guys could have gotten fatally injured tonight…that experience forced me to go back to the night that Drake died.
Now, in the privacy and silence of my own apartment, I couldn’t get those images out of my head. Drake, my beloved brother, lying on the couch in a position a lot like mine right now, blubbering, blood oozing out of the wound in his stomach, his eyes flittering and racing. He was dying right there in front of me and there was nothing any of us could do about it.
I held his hand but there was no pressure in his grip. Within minutes of me pressing that glass of water to his lips, Drake had passed away and then the apartment had filled with the sounds of me screaming and crying. His friends trying to pull me away, but I clutched and clawed at my brother. My only hope. The only person I had ever loved.
I lost him to Gunther’s crazy violence and tonight I had come face to face with it myself. I had seen first-hand what he was capable of doing. And what if he had done it again?
What if he had killed…Bones?
Why did I care so much what happened to Bones? If he got fatally hurt or not. Was it because I had feelings for him? Because I loved him? I didn’t want to consider the idea of that, instead, I needed to sleep.
I pressed my eyes close. Forcing those images of Drake out of my head as best I could, trying to drift away to sleep. But this was going to be the hardest night to fall asleep since Drake’s death.
* * *
When I woke up the next morning, I knew I hadn’t really slept at all. I’d drifted in and out of sleep, which was dominated by nightmares and memories of Drake and jumbled up thoughts of Bones and Gunther.
After all these years of planning and waiting to have my revenge for my brother’s death…this morning, I wasn’t so sure if I could even do it anymore.
I made myself a big cup of coffee which was left to just get cold on the counter because I could barely keep it down. I decided I needed a shower.
I took one long hot steaming shower, trying to scrub off every last element and trace of the previous night. But that feeling of uneasiness remained in my belly. It wasn’t just the fact that I kept seeing Drake’s ghost everywhere, but now I was starkly aware of the fact that I had feelings for Bones.
I’d witnessed the hatred that Gunther felt towards him. Gunther was coming for him. I knew Bones was strong and completely capable of taking care of himself, but what if he got caught? What if Gunther seriously hurt him or worse?
How was I going to deal with a second loss of that caliber in my life?
I needed to get away.
I stared at myself in the mirror as I brushed my damp short hair. My face looked lifeless; my lips looked pale. I could see it in my eyes now—I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t going to be able to see this through.
I was too weak. I needed to quit before it completely ruined me. Before Bones completely ruined me.
My doorbell rang, startling me out of my thoughts. As I walked to the door, I could feel the aches in my bones. I wasn’t expecting anyone and definitely not Bones whom I saw through the peephole now.
I opened the door sheepishly to him. I didn’t even realize he knew where I lived, but then he probably had tabs on everything and everyone.
He stared at me up and down. Even though I’d just had a shower, I knew I probably looked like a complete mess right now.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
“Sorry if this is a bad time.” He actually did sound genuinely apologetic which took me by surprise too. He was usually just grumpy and growly with me. Maybe the experience last night had changed som
ething in all of us.
“It’s okay, I just stepped out of the shower. You can come in,” I said and stepped aside from the door. Bones came in, but he looked like he was uncomfortable to be here.
“You haven’t been answering your phone or the texts the guys have been sending you all morning. They want to discuss the plan with you. I thought I’d drop by and maybe we could go to the clubhouse together. Are you okay?”
Was Bones actually concerned?
I didn’t know how to respond to any of that. It seemed so real, too personal…and it wasn’t like that wasn’t what I wanted; I just wasn’t expecting it.
Was I supposed to tell him now that I was considering leaving town? That I was thinking of dropping out of the plan with Gunther. Wasn’t that what Bones would have wanted to hear?
“Do you want some coffee or breakfast, first?” I asked him.
Bones stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looked around my apartment lazily and shrugged.
“I think I’m good for now.”
I went over to the kitchen counter and threw out the old coffee in the sink and poured myself a fresh mug. He might not have needed the coffee, but I definitely needed it.
Neither of us spoke much. He just stood there watching me as I sipped it.
“Hey, listen, last night, you seemed a little…worried or something. Nervous maybe. You doing okay?” This was the second time he was asking me that question and it seemed like he really did want to know.
This was probably my chance to tell him. To open up to him. How much could I actually say? What about my feelings for him? Could he see how my cheeks were flushing right now? How embarrassedly I was looking around me. Did he suspect what was going on? Right now, it felt like Bones could see right through me.
I cleared my throat and shook my head. Over the years I’d trained myself to always face up to these situations with bravery.
“I’m fine, I guess I just needed to…erm…” I cleared my throat again. I was trying to hold my chin up, to look him in the eye. But the mug of coffee in my hand was shaking. I was clutching it hard, but it felt like it could fall out of my hand anytime. I was losing my grip on everything. I was starting to panic.
Hot flashes.
Drake.
My eyes were welling up with tears. It never happened to me like this. I always had my act together.
“Thea…” I heard Bones’ voice, but it seemed distant at the same time. I couldn’t even look at him anymore. I felt weak.
He’d come over to me now and he snatched the mug out of my hand and plonked it down on the kitchen counter.
“I…I…just…” I was fumbling with my words. What was I supposed to say? What did I want to say? I had no control over my body or my voice. Everything seemed so out of focus.
And then Bones threw his strong arms around me, nearly crushing me with the strength with which he was holding me now.
I pasted myself to his chest, without thinking. My mind was blank. It was simply a physical reaction to his presence and now he started to rock me back and forth. I was right there in his arms and I didn’t feel so cold anymore. I was warm and felt safe and I could feel his hot breath in my hair, on my face.
Slowly, I turned my face up to look at him. Bones’ green eyes were searching mine.
“You are not okay,” he said deeply, in an accusatory tone.
“I’ll be…” I began to say and then felt myself melting in those arms again. He hadn’t weakened his grip on me. He kept holding me like that, rocking me gently. I licked my lips nervously as I stared up at him.
Nobody, other than my brother Drake, had ever held me like this. Nobody had made me feel safe before or after him. This was exactly what I was afraid of feeling with Bones, but I couldn’t control it now.
He was leaning in and now his lips were on me. I opened my mouth and his tongue slipped in between my teeth. He was tasting me, exploring my mouth but it was all happening so slowly. Like neither of us had ever kissed anyone before. Not even each other. Like we were discovering each other afresh.
This kiss felt completely different, so tender and soft.
Bones’ hands traveled down my back, till he was holding me gently by my waist. I remained pressed to him, moaning softly as he twisted his tongue inside my mouth, angling my face, molding himself to my body…
I felt like I was floating, like I had no care in the world. Bones had melted it all away. He was lifting me up in his arms now, carrying me somewhere…anywhere, I didn’t care.
He held me close to himself, I dangled from his arms. He was carrying me to my bedroom and soon enough, I was laid out on my bed. He started to strip, and I watched him with big wide eyes, waiting for him to fulfill me.
I had never felt this helpless before…and also safe at the same time. Maybe it was because I trusted him completely. Why? Now was not the time for those questions.
Bones was standing naked by my bed, his muscles taut and pulsating, his cock growing between his muscular thighs. My eyes roamed over his nakedness, taking in his tattoos and the veins on his biceps, his thick neck, those wide shoulders.
He reached for me and I parted my legs on cue. I was still wearing my short cotton shorts and the old t-shirt I’d stepped out of the shower in and one by one, he removed those pieces. There was no underwear to remove. I was completely naked on the bed now, all for his taking and Bones seemed to be going slow still.
He joined me on the bed, straddling my body, throwing his legs on either side of me now.
His hands were all over me and it felt like every inch he covered; he was managing to burn the skin right off my bones. Everything he touched he turned to fire.
I looked into his eyes, he was so gentle now, but his cock was hard and strong. I lifted myself up just a little, enough to be able to hold his cock in my hand, to stroke him. Bones grunted, clenched his jaw, but he didn’t take his eyes off me.
His hands found my breasts, which he fondled and caressed softly. He pinched my nipples and tugged at them till I was crying out for him to take me. I was aware of how amazing he was going to feel inside me and then slowly he started to inch closer.
Bones laid his body out on top of me, every inch of me was pressed to him.
“It’s like you’ve been created for me,” he mumbled under his breath. I’d barely even heard him…had I heard him right? It seemed unreal that he would say something like that even. But now he was kissing my chin, then running his tongue down my neck, his hands explored the rest of my body and I stroked his cock.
We were wedged in together, pressed together…until finally, Bones thrust his cock inside me. I felt him part my folds. Reach deep within me, that part of me which needed to be stroked by him. I could feel him there, he was filling me up. I was filled with Bones and there was nowhere else on Earth I would rather have been.
We started moving together. Him on top of me, holding me tightly and it was like I was clinging to him for dear life. I clutched his arms, he held on to me. His cock sinking deep inside me and then slipping out. Bones grunted with every thrust of his cock in me and I cried out with pleasure too. It was amazing. I didn’t realize someone could make me feel this way.
That I would even let someone make me feel this way. It was like he was taking over my whole life and I had no control over it.
And now, the harder he pushed his cock in me, the deeper he filled me up—the faster I was moving to the edge. I was going to fall over any moment now. My orgasm came in waves. I clutched him even harder, while he continued to pound me with his cock. Our bodies slammed together. I stretched my legs out wide in either direction. Little by little, he was filling me up with his own cum, he was shooting deep into me too. His cock was pulsating with his orgasm, just like my body was shuddering to the same rhythm.
Neither of us could stop it now. It was happening. We were coming together, and it was the best feeling in the world.
* * *
We lay beside each other on my narrow bed, sta
ring up at the ceiling in my small bedroom. Neither of us had said a word and neither had we moved in the past fifteen minutes since we came together.
I wanted to know what he was thinking. I felt like I needed to know if it had meant something; even though it sounded like a completely pathetic question to ask. Something, if I voiced would embarrass me.
But the way he’d held me, how he’d comforted me in the kitchen…and then carried me to the room and it wasn’t just a fuck…we made love. Was that what it was called? Because it seemed like it would be wrong to call it anything else. It was more than just some ordinary sex with a stranger.
His touch was different. The way we kissed was different. It was more than just about making each other feel sexually gratified. For the first time in all my sexual experiences with men, I wanted to talk to him about it.
But what about my plan to leave?
What about last night?
What about Drake and how afraid Gunther had made me last night?
Should I have admitted to Bones now, that I finally saw what he was trying to make me see all these days? That this was a dangerous game and maybe I wasn’t equipped or prepared to play it?
While those thoughts whirled in my head, Bones moved beside me.
“Maybe we should head out soon, the others are probably waiting for us at the clubhouse. I told them I’d check in on you and give them an update.” His voice was hoarse and sexy, and there was nothing more I wanted to do right now than bury my face in his wide strong chest and just remain like that.
But Bones had already swung his legs off the side of the bed. He was standing up; he was going to walk away.
And the truth was that I wasn’t sure I could actually leave right now. Could I leave LA and return to Hawaii? Never to see Bones again?
Would I really be able to live with myself if I didn’t fulfill the plan I’d been looking forward to for ten years? I’d be a complete failure and my brother’s death would be unavenged.
Bones: The Black Cobra MC #4 Page 12
