"You look like an eggplant. In fact, your eye looks like cooked eggplant."
"This is what happens when you get teamed up with twenty-two-year-old baby cops who tell you their mom thought you were king a the beach, and maybe to prove somethin you get carried away and start chasin someone along the oceanfront when what you should do at your age is strictly drive-by police work. Hand tickets out the window of a patrol unit or shoot the motherfuckers from inside the car with an assault rifle. But under no circumstances should you be tryin to run after thievin slopes with some fuckin kid cop who actually says stuff like, 'Life's a beach!' "
Buster turned back to his drink and hunched his mulish shoulders and signaled to Spoon for another round. Winnie decided to drop the subject of Buster's wounds, except to say, "I take it you wont be going to work today?"
"I oughtta take the week off," Buster said. "My head feels like a bag of plastique. A comb might blow it up."
"If you got nothing to do and feel up to it, I could use some help."
"Doin what?"
"I gotta find a guy."
"What guy?"
"Guy named Starkey. I'm expecting his mug shot here pretty soon. Kilroy's getting it for me."
"I'm surprised you didn't ask one a the guys at the office if you wanted a mug shot."
"Gonna keep the PD outta this. I think this guy's trying to kill Tess Binder."
Buster hurt himself turning to face Winnie. "What's that broad doin to you?"
"It's a long story. If you're willing to help me I'll fill you in on it while we drive down to Laguna."
"For what?"
"I wanna talk to the guy."
"You wanna ask him why he wants to shoot your little pal?"
"What made you say shoot? I don't know how he'd pull it off."
Buster said, "Most a the world these days, that's the way they do it. California's got more guns than the Warsaw Pact."
"You gonna help me?"
"Can't. I almost got killed by a flock a canaries yesterday. My luck's run out."
"Actually, Tess'd be very unhappy if she even knew I was talking to you about it. You didn't make a great impression on her that night."
"Sure, she's got you running around lookin for imaginary snipers. Pretty soon she'll be wearin your nuts for earrings. They're all the same, broads like her. Two-steppers. Remember those snakes in Nam? They bite you and you're dead in two steps."
"I think she's all right," Winnie said.
Buster nodded doubtfully and said, "Well, I can't help you. I only do police work when the city pays me for it. And then I only do it if there's a sergeant watchin me."
"What I need is, I need a backup for when I talk to this guy. I want somebody with a gun behind me. Jist in case."
"It ain't gonna be me," said Buster. "Don't you still have your piece?"
"Yeah, but a medical retirement doesn't entitle me to run around carrying a concealed weapon."
"Sorry, Win. Why don't you try one a the other guys you partnered with?"
"Since my boat parade caper the guys seem to avoid me. I'm bad news. They think I might get involved in another ..."
"Debacles the word you're searchin for."
"Yeah, they think I'm an alcoholic."
"Well, you're not. You jist drink a little too much. Maybe Kilroy'd back you up. Maybe his guy, the one that brings the mug shot. Why not ask him?"
Winnie let it drop and ordered another drink and one for Buster. They were both watching a golf tournament on ESPN, when a guy walked in and said to Spoon, "I have something for Win Farlowe."
"That's me," Winnie said.
He looked older than Spoon. Buster's left leg outweighed him and had more hair on it. He might've been consumptive. He handed Winnie the envelope and said, "With Pat Kilroy's compliments, Mister Farlowe."
When he left, Winnie said, "How'd you like to rely on him for a backup?"
Buster said, "Don't get me in trouble, man! I'll go along to watch you talk to this guy, but that's it!"
"That's all I want," Winnie said. He'd rarely seen Buster so adamant. Buster's hand wasn't steady when he picked up the drink. "I'm on the verge a new things," Buster said. "I don't want you screwin me up jist because you gone loopy over some little squeeze from Linda Isle."
"I won't get you involved," Winnie said. "We'll go in my car."
As they were leaving, Tripoli Jones reeled into the barroom, too drunk to be walking, let alone driving the car that he'd parked with two wheels on the sidewalk.
Spoon took one look at him and said, "Forget it. No way. Go home."
The former marine muttered and cursed and staggered into the men's room, where he took a header. When he came out he insisted that somebody had installed speed bumps in there.
Chapter 16 _ The Hound
The cops referred to The Golden Orange as "le Cote de Fraud." That, because there were so many major and minor fraud cases emanating from the Gold Coast. Still, The Golden Orange someday may become the financial heart of the American Southwest, they say. The cops referred to it as Goyim Heights, whose West Bank, they said, is Security Pacific.
Fraud and financial scams in The Golden Orange were on the mind of Winnie Farlowe during the drive down Pacific Coast Highway to Laguna Beach early that evening. It was warm enough to keep the top down, but the VW was noisy, and when he got out of Corona Del Mar the engine whined, unable to pass a slow-moving Cadillac Fleetwood.
"We ain't in no hurry," Buster said. "I'd like to survive the drive so somebody can shoot me. It's more dramatic, right?"
"I'm getting curious about your career change," said Winnie. "Something's going on. You seem a lot different somehow."
"I said I'll let you know if it comes about, okay?"
"Remember the boiler room?" Winnie said. "The guy you and me busted? Worked out of an apartment?"
"Which one? I busted lotsa guys sellin those so-called precious metal stocks. A fry in pan contains more precious metal."
"I was thinking of the guy that was selling all that gold to out-of-state buyers at two hundred an ounce. Only it was still in the ground and their money was supposed to get it out within fifteen months."
"Yeah, what was his name?"
"You got pretty friendly with him. You should remember."
"He was a decent guy for a thief," Buster said.
"And the way he put it, it didn't seem so bad," said Winnie. "If the investment cost more to get the gold out, well, the company would pay the difference, he said. Amazing how people went for it." Then Winnie looked at Buster. "I remember you said they could afford it, those investors. Average investment was only, what? Five grand? A few lost twenty, but nobody got hurt too much, you said."
"Guy drove a Lamborghini," Buster recalled. "And his girlfriend had an Aston Martin Lagonda."
"Yeah, that's right," said Winnie. "He did okay with oil and gas investments too. Except I got more gas in my belly right now than he ever owned. What I'm wondering, is your career change along the lines a something like that? You always said a guy with half a brain coulda pulled it off."
"I ain't gonna discuss it, Winnie," Buster said. "It jist might be somethin along those lines, and if it is, so what?"
"You wouldn't do something that'd get you in big trouble, I hope. I wouldn't like to see that, Buster. Those boiler-room scams can get a guy chucked into a single room with three roommates. For about five years."
"He beat us in court if you remember," Buster said. "He's probably got a job in one a those giant buildings with black windows up in Irvine, makin a million in salary and three million in stock options. Remember that boiler room you busted on Christmas Eve that time? That guy . . . whatzis-name? I heard he owns a six-million-dollar yacht he keeps in Sardinia. Had the Prince of Monaco aboard for lunch. So how bad did you hurt him with that case?"
"Well, I'd hate to see you do something that. . ."
"Don't be worryin about me," Buster said. "You re the guy goin around try in to put yourself into the middle a s
omethin that smells worse than red tide in still water. Me, I'll prob'ly live out my old age as a scuba scrubber. Stuck to boat hulls underwater with a toilet plunger in one hand, scrubbin off slime with the other. That's somethin like police work, come to think of it."
The open highway between Corona Del Mar and Laguna Beach is about all that's left of undeveloped coastline along that stretch of Orange County. Surfers still park their cars along the ocean side, and climb down the cliffs to unspoiled beaches, to ride in swirls of turquoise and midnight blue.
"How'd it be to live in a place like that?" Buster asked, pointing toward a huge home perched on a cliff overlooking Reef Pbint. It had a lighthouse wing with a green copper roof, and a redwood observation platform all the way around. The sky beyond looked inflamed and feverish.
"I'd prefer the one on Brideshead Revisited," said Winnie. "Less rooms to clean. You know, I really appreciate this, Buster. You coming along with me.
"I had important things to do," Buster said. "Like takin the knots outta my telephone cord, but I'm a real balls-up guy. So tell me, whaddaya gonna say if we find this guy Starkey?" "I'm gonna interrogate him," Winnie said. "Case you ain't noticed, Win, you don't have a badge no more. What's your authority to make people sit still for an interrogation?"
"He's a gay-bar drifter from what I know. He'll look at two guys like us and see cop. We lean a little bit, he'll roll over, belly up. That's what I'm betting >>>>
on.
"Yeah, well, I ran into lots a sissies from gay bars that Heinrich Himmler couldn't make snitch off a pal."
"I'm betting he will. Or at least he'll tell his boss we're onto him."
"What'11 that accomplish?" "I told ya I wanna scare the crap outta Warner Stillwell. He'll realize it was a bad idea and it ain't gonna work. And he'll have to be content to live out his life on the ranch."
"That's it, then?" Buster said, incredulously. "That's the fallback position here?"
"Yeah, but I hope I can persuade Starkey to dime the old man. I'd like to make a case the D. A.'d have to prosecute. Like that attempted murder on Tess. Or maybe even the murder of Conrad Binder."
"You get that much outta this guy and you can hire on with the KGB."
"At least we'll throw a scare into old man Stillwell if nothing else."
"And your lady friend'll be safe from future attempts?"
"Something like that."
"And she jist waits around till the old guy croaks and gets her inheritance? And then what? You think she's gonna remember you? You think she's gonna remember you next month?"
"I don't worry about that part," Winnie said. "Far as I'm concerned, she's a good friend who needs help. I'd help you if you were in trouble. Like you're helping me right now."
"Don't go all sentimental on me," Buster said. "I start cry in and the salt'11 hurt all the raw meat that used to be my left eye."
Buster was silent during the drive past Irvine Cove and Emerald Bay-gated communities with homes on both sides of the highway. From there south, Laguna Beach wore a string of coves like a necklace: Santa Ana Cove, Fisherman's Cove, Diver's Cove, and the main cove where the crowds gathered on the sand to watch basketball or volleyball, or to scope out the hardbodies, most of whom were male.
Buster looked at the bohemian Laguna street scene, and said, "I'd hate to work the beach patrol around here. You don't know which bums might be artists. You can't tell a future Picasso from a bag a garbage."
Winnie left his car at the Hotel Laguna with a valet-parking attendant rather than fight for a parking space on the street. It was a landmark hotel, frequented by Barrymore in the thirties and Bogie in the forties: a flat-roofed block of stucco with a quixotic belltower.
"Want a drink before we go to work?" Buster asked.
"Just one," Winnie said, but immediately provided Buster with a minor shock by changing his mind: "No, better not."
They quickly found the ramshackle apartment house on Mermaid Street. It could be described as "Laguna casual," which meant even more so than the Balboa peninsula.
Buster said, "This is the kind a place where dressy-as-it-gets means wearin a tank top that ain't inside out."
The man who answered the door didn't remotely resemble the face on the police mug shot, and didn't seem to recognize that he could be talking to cops.
"Hack Starkey?" he said. "He the guy used to live here before me? Young guy with a wooden leg? If it ain't him, better talk to the landlady in number one.
When Winnie knocked, the landlady yelled, "Door's open!"
She sat at an easel painting a beach scene with pastel watercolors, which she probably hoped to peddle at the summer Sawdust Festival, a "people's" art show where folks like her tried to catch the overflow from the Laguna Beach Pageant of the Masters, in which real people and painted ones become entwined in life-size tableaus of famous works of art, so that the viewer isn't sure which figure breathes. People with binoculars pack the Laguna Bowl every night during the festival, trying to guess which ones in a massive reproduction-like "The Last Supper," for instance-could be a flesh-and-blood citizen of Laguna who'd practiced all year turning to stone.
The landlady flip-flopped into the living room in worn-out rubber thongs, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a palette in the other. Her nose had more busted veins than the Klondike.
"I ain't got an empty apartment," she said.
"I'm looking for a former tenant," Winnie said. "Hack Starkey? Middle-aged guy with dyed black hair?"
She gave them a closer look, saw cop written all over them and said, "Yeah?"
Winnie knew the look, and that if he said he wanted the guy for attempted murder, she'd say, "Moved. No forwarding address."
So he said what usually gets cooperation: "We wanna talk to him about a report that he molested a kid."
"Yeah? How old?"
"About six," Winnie said. "A little boy."
"That dirty cocksucker!" she said. "He moved, oh, eight months ago. But I hear he hangs around town in the gay bars. That son of a bitch! I hope he tries to run and you shoot him down!" Then she looked at Buster's battered face and said, "Want me to lay hands on those wounds? I can usually drive out evil spirits in a couple minutes. You'll feel better."
To Winnie's astonishment Buster said, "I do got some evil stuff in there." Then he sat down on the greasy sofa and said, "Let 'er rip."
The woman shuffled over to the refrigerator and got an egg. Then she drew a glass of water from the faucet. She put her red pudgy fingers gently on Buster's head and passed the egg in circles over his face. Then she broke the egg into the water and studied it.
"What's the verdict?" asked Winnie.
She said, "Yeah, there are some unholy things in there, son, but I don't think I can help you. I can tell you this: You better deal with it."
They thanked her and left, deciding she was a fairly ordinary resident of Laguna Beach.
The first gay bar they tried was The Tango Tavern. It wasn't as dark as a movie by Ingmar Bergman, but it was even gloomier. Six guys scattered around the bar looked as though sixteen-inch guns wouldn't faze them.
Buster said, "These dudes're down for the count. A barrel of amyl nitrate ain't gonna start their rockets. They need a big booster. Your guy into drugs by any chance?"
"Not that I know of," Winnie said.
Winnie went straight to the dour and listless bartender and flashed the mug shot. The bartender looked at the photo and said, "Not in this joint."
It gave Winnie a boost to see that the bartender didn't ask to see police I. D. He still had the look!
Buster said to a patron who resembled Alice Cooper, "I'm lookin for an old boyfriend. Had his toes amputated to fit in size three's with four-inch spikes? Seen him around?"
The guy just stared. Buster thanked him, saying he'd seen more signs of life in an oyster bed.
The next stop was The Flaming Sunset, already rocking out at 8:45 p. M. The fire department poster said the saloon was okay for 145 persons. Buster said he
saw that many guys holding other guys in their laps. He and Winnie squeezed into a corner close enough to the bar to spot anyone with the world's phoniest-looking dye job.
A table six inches away was packed with androgynous drinkers, one of whom said something moderately amusing. Causing the one closest to Buster to cut loose with a shrill squeal.
Buster turned to the youth and said, "Butch it up, for chrissake! Mother's on the way!"
The ceiling held enough baby spots and electrical tracks to mood-light the San Diego Freeway.
"This lighting could make even Spoon's Landing look like champagne and violins," Winnie observed.
"That's the truth, Ruth," Buster agreed. "Wonder if the cops gotta handle many drive-by slappings around here."
_
There was live rock music playing on the other side of the barroom, but getting through the teeming multitude would be impossible.
"I ain't seen a cocktail waitress," said Buster.
"Any female person'll be a waitress, I imagine."
A female person finally squeezed her way through the crowd and looked at them with a please-order-something-simple expression.
"Beer," Winnie said. "Any kind."
"Me too," Buster said.
Buster was taller than Winnie, but he wasn't looking around much, so Winnie was on tiptoes half the time. He saw lots and lots of dye jobs, all colors, and most of them bad, but not Hack Starkey. After finishing their beer they managed to bump their way closer to the bar itself.
Winnie could finally see that it was a piano trio supplying the music on an elevated stage, and they were pretty good. Winnie hoped they wouldn't play "Where or When."
"Better stay sober," he said to Buster, "or you might end up with a truck driver picking your pocket and he won't be looking for money."
Buster was bored with their mission. "You say the guy's about fifty? This is a younger crowd. Let's try another joint, one a those where they lace your drinks with minoxidil for the hair and Retin-A for wrinkles."
The third place they tried was called Malcolm's Lounge. It was more of a proper restaurant, on the ocean side of Coast Highway. A jazz combo was playing something from Thelonious Monk. It took Winnie a minute to realize it was "Mysterioso."
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