I crossed my arms over my chest, and tried to pinpoint who the anger I felt so strongly was for, but couldn’t. It was too overpowering. Theo’s jaw visibly tensed, and he turned back toward the door. He left without saying a word.
I crumpled to the floor where I’d stood. Drawing my knees up against my chest, I wrapped my arms around them tightly, and thought of everything that had just happened. Tears pricked my eyes, and my breathing became labored again. Theo had been right. Now that he was gone, I could feel that the anger was mine. It was all me.
I was angry with myself for cheating on Kace, for allowing Theo to kiss me, but most of all, for enjoying it.
Betrayal can come in many forms and hide in the eyes of those we trust most. Remember that, Addison.
Theo’s voice echoed through my mind, sounding distorted and far away. Apparently, this freakish mind-reading thing could be heard over a distance. I replayed his words and wondered what he’d meant. I didn’t dare respond to ask him, though.
After I’d gathered myself together, I found my phone to see who had called and unknowingly saved me from going further with Theo. Vera. Pressing on her name with the tip of my finger, I called her back.
“Hey, chick.” She answered on the fourth ring.
“Hey,” I said.
“How’s it going? Just thought I’d give you a call. I haven’t talked to you in a day or two.”
Sighing into the phone, I walked across the kitchen to sit at the little table in the corner. “You just saved me from making a huge mistake,” I said.
“Oh, really?” she asked. I’d piqued her interest. “How is that?”
Hanging my head back, I glanced at the ceiling. I probably shouldn’t mention anything to her about Theo and what we’d done, because it would only lead to more questions. However, I had to tell someone, and Vera was the person I always told everything to. Well, with the exception of lately.
“I was making out with someone who wasn’t Kace in my kitchen when you called,” I said. I bit the edge of my thumbnail while I waited for her to speak.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Not in the least.”
“And are you going to tell me who this mystery person is?” she asked.
My stomach rolled. “Theo Van Rooyen.”
“Shut the front door! No way!” she shouted in my ear. “How in the hell did that happen? If I remember correctly, he was Mr. Uninterested when it came to me. Maybe that was because he was too busy scoping you out!”
“I highly doubt that,” I said, knowing her comment couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“So, was he a good kisser? How did it happen? Dish girl, don’t be shy,” she said in that overly excited tone I knew to expect.
“I honestly don’t know how it happened,” I said, which was partially true.
“And…good kisser, yay or nay?”
I smirked, remembering just how good of a kisser he’d been. “Yay.”
“Ha! I knew it!” she shouted. “I must say…I am a tad bit jealous, but only because I saw him first. Come to think of it, I saw Kace first too. What the hell? Have I lost my mojo?”
I laughed. “I seriously doubt that.”
We talked for a little while longer, and I explained my dilemma: how I wasn’t sure if I should tell Kace what had happened between Theo and me, or if I should just attempt to forget it ever happened and never speak, or think, of it again.
“I think this is one of those if the shoe was on the other foot situations. Meaning, if you would want him to tell you, then you should have the same respect and tell him,” she said.
“Ugh, I knew you were going to say that,” I grumbled.
Where was my unserious, always a bad influence and loving every second of it best friend when I needed her?
“Here’s the thing… If you know nothing will ever happen between you and Theo again, then Kace doesn’t have to be completely sober or wide awake for your confession.”
There she was.
“What?” I asked, unable to believe what I was hearing.
“Tell him when he’s either completely plastered or half asleep. That way, your conscience is clean because you did tell him. He just might not remember being told. Then, you two won’t fight about it. Problem solved.”
“And I’m guessing you’ve done this before.”
“You’re guessing right. Lots of times, actually.”
“There is something so wrong with you,” I said, shaking my head.
“I bet you’re contemplating it though, aren’t you?”
She was right. I was. The only way to make me feel better about what I’d done would be to tell Kace, but doing so would open up a new can of worms labeled as tether that I didn’t think I was ready to release just yet.
“Yeah,” I admitted reluctantly.
After hanging up with Vera, I instantly got a text from Kace, which made my heart pound in my chest.
Hey, sexy, can’t wait to see you tonight.
Grimacing, I bit my bottom lip. I had to tell him. There was no way I could keep what had happened between Theo and me a secret. Kace deserved to know; he was too good of a guy.
Can’t wait to see you tonight either. Want to go to the carnival with Adam and Callie?
A few minutes passed before he replied.
Sure, we could do that. I’ll take you on my favorite ride.
I stood and walked across the kitchen to the cabinet, my phone still in hand, for a glass. I needed some water. Maybe it would wash away the guilt rising up my throat. After taking a swig, I replied.
Sounds good.
See you around nine, then.
I didn’t answer him back. After setting my phone on the counter, I stared at it while I drank sips of my water and wondered how exactly I should broach the subject with him. I wondered how he would handle it, and my heart stopped and then kick-started in my chest at the thought.
A knock at my front door pulled me from my thoughts. Dread coiled around me in a vice-like grip as I considered who it could be. I held my breath as I opened the door. Callie stood there, her face splotchy from crying, with a duffle bag thrown over her shoulder.
“Sorry I didn’t call, but do you think I could stay with you for a little while?” Her voice cracked as she spoke, and my heart ached for her. “I sort of had it out with my mom and I think I’ve been spending too much time at the guys’ place as it is.”
“Sure,” I said. I stepped aside so she could come in. “What happened?”
Why had I even asked? I already knew what they’d been arguing about. After all, I’d been the one who’d provoked it.
“I confronted my mom about what you told me, and she didn’t even deny it,” Callie said as she started toward the living room.
“Did she explain to you why?” I asked.
“Yeah, she claimed she was doing what she felt she owed your birth mother,” she said. She dropped her duffle bag on the floor, and flopped down on my couch. “I get that, I do…it’s just the principle of the matter that irks me, I guess.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, sitting beside her and tucking my right leg beneath me.
Callie’s head fell back against the couch, and she hugged a throw pillow to her chest. “I mean, she knows what you being here means for us all. Why would she want to jeopardize that?”
For whatever reason, her words slammed me in the gut. Was that all I was to her…a way to gain access to magick?
Callie’s blue eyes flickered to mine, almost as though she knew exactly how what she’d said had made me feel. “She also knows you’re my friend; that’s what bothers me most. That’s what I don’t understand.”
I relaxed a little. Theo’s words were making me paranoid.
“Thanks.” I tucked a few flyaway hairs back behind my ear where they belonged. “Have you told Adam yet?”
“Not yet.” She looked down at her fingers as she spoke and began playing with the fringe on the edge of the pillow she held. “I’m kind of e
mbarrassed by her behavior to be honest.”
“Everyone will understand. I don’t think anyone would judge you for her actions.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“It’ll all be okay,” I reassured her with a small smile.
She let out a loud sigh and shook her head. “Kace is going to be pissed.”
Again, paranoia reared its ugly head in my mind. Would he be pissed for the right reasons? Damn you, Theo, for your strange bit of advice that continues to linger in my mind like a disease.
“I can’t believe it was your mom all along!” Kace grumbled.
“I know it, trust me,” Callie muttered. “No one is more shocked than me.”
“I didn’t think she had it in her to do something like that,” Adam said as he made a right, turning his Jeep into the public access parking lot of the beach. “That’s nuts.”
We were headed to the carnival on South Beach. Callie had broken the news of who my mystery attacker had been to Kace and Adam during the ride.
“So, needless to say, I’m staying at Addison’s for a little while,” Callie said.
“Why don’t you want to stay with me?” Adam asked. There was a level of hurt laced within his words.
“Because I offered first,” I said before Callie could answer him.
I didn’t know her reasons for not wanting to stay at the guys’ apartment. All I knew was what she’d said to me about feeling as if she already spent too much time at their place. There was enough tension in the air already; no need to add to it by having her list a reason why and have Adam get pissed about it.
“Oh, all right,” Adam said with a shrug. He pulled into the first parking space he spotted.
Callie glanced at me from where she sat in the passenger seat, and flashed me a thank you look. I nodded, but didn’t say anything.
Adam cut the engine and we all climbed out. The sweet scent of cotton candy mixed with the slightly off-putting stench of corn dogs hung heavily in the air, even from where we stood. Sounds of laughter and shouts of surprise flowed to my ears. I loved carnivals. They were alive with excitement and pulsating with energy.
“I really can’t get over her doing that,” Kace said. “I mean, I understand what you said her reason was…but still.”
“Let’s forget about that for right now and try to have a little fun. Please?” I asked Kace. I laced my fingers with his and pulled on his arm slightly, hoping to erase the brooding gleam from his icy eyes.
He glanced at me. “Oh, I plan on having fun tonight. I’m just in shock is all.”
“Right?” Adam said. “I mean, someone who makes cookies as delicious as she does should not be capable of something so vicious and vindictive.”
I noticed Callie frown from the corner of my eye. It didn’t appear as though Kace or Adam would let up any time soon.
“I know, but honestly, all I want to focus on right now is where the nearest funnel cake is,” I said, hoping for a change of subject. I hated seeing Callie so down.
Kace squeezed my hand. “Done. Let’s go find you one.”
Minutes later, I was using my sense of taste to the extreme, savoring a funnel cake Kace bought me. Its crispy golden goodness was revitalizing each of my taste buds individually, and I loved every second of it.
“Can I get another bite of that?” Kace asked. His head dipped close to mine so he didn’t have to scream to be heard.
I smirked and nodded. “For claiming you don’t care for funnel cakes, you sure are eating a lot of mine.”
“I never said I didn’t like them; I said they aren’t my favorite,” he attempted to clarify.
“Same thing.” I smirked.
“No,” he said, popping the large piece he’d torn off into his mouth. “It’s not.”
“Sure it’s not. Whatever. So…what are we riding first?” I asked.
Glancing around, I spotted Adam and Callie still standing at the dart game that had grabbed Adam’s attention during our search for my funnel cake. Callie was leaning against the table, while Adam seemed to be concentrating on aiming his dart directly at an orange balloon. He’d told Callie he’d win her a panda bear. Now, what I was sure was nearly ten bucks later, he still had yet to.
She would be there for a while. Apparently, Adam’s aim sucked with darts, which I didn’t understand, considering how awesome he was at playing beer pong.
“The Ferris wheel,” Kace said, nodding in its direction. He helped himself to another piece of my funnel cake. “My all-time favorite ride.”
I scrunched up my nose. “Eh, Ferris wheels are so slow. How about something faster?”
“They’re slow for a reason.”
“And what reason is that?”
He smirked at me as he licked a bit of powdered sugar off his bottom lip. “Because they’re made for kissing.”
I quirked an eyebrow at him, and tried hard to remain in the moment and not to think of who the word kissing brought to mind. “Is that so?”
“Public knowledge.” He nodded.
“Hmm…well then, in that case, I guess we’d better take advantage of that designated kissing zone over there.”
He shook his finger at me and grinned wide, the dimple in his right cheek deepening. “I like your train of thought.”
“Prove it.” I smirked, tossing the last little bit of my funnel cake in a trash can nearby.
“After you,” Kace said, motioning for me to go ahead of him and secure our place in line.
I walked over to the line and stopped behind a couple who looked to be no older than fourteen. Glancing up at the bucket seats, I realized Kace had been right. These were the old-fashioned seats, which were rectangular and only fit two people per bucket, unlike the ones I’d seen at the last carnival I’d been to a few years back. Those were rounded, and they could fit about four to five adults.
“Scoping them out, huh?” Kace whispered against my ear.
I shook my head. “Comparing—the last time I rode a Ferris wheel, the buckets were big and round and fit more than two people at once. These are the old-fashioned ones.”
“Precisely why this Ferris wheel is intended for making out,” he said. His hand reached for mine, and he laced our fingers together with a smile.
We waited for nearly ten minutes before finally getting our own bucket. Once we were high in the air, Kace wasted no time checking out the lights or the dark water of the ocean below. Instead, he cupped my face and smothered my lips with his. His tongue slid in to brush against mine, and I opened my mouth a little more. Warmth splashed across my face where his hands touched me, and traveled down my neck. It was dull in comparison to what I’d felt from Theo’s kiss earlier.
I didn’t know where the thought came from; all I knew was that it was entirely true and I hated it.
Reaching up, I ran my hands along the fine hairs of Kace’s forearms, and deepened our kiss. Guilt chewed at my insides for even having thought of Theo at a time like this. What was wrong with me? If I went on like this much longer, I’d drive myself crazy.
I pulled away to look at Kace, but he continued in his mission to kiss me the entire length of time we were on the ride. This didn’t feel right. My mind focused again on the kiss I’d shared with Theo earlier, and my palms began to sweat. At the feeling of my pulse rising to my throat, I intertwined my fingers through Kace’s hair. I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want him to be angry with me either. I wanted him to understand, but unfortunately, I’d surpassed the time frame I had to tell him about the tether and about Theo long ago.
So, instead of telling him about either of those things, I blurted out the only other thing I could. The only other secret that had been eating away at me. In theory, I was confessing one secret, while trying to bury the guilt of another. Not the best way to do things, but still, it was something.
“I wanna do it,” I said in a whisper. My hands moved to grip his forearms.
“Me too, but we can’t do it here.” He chuckled against my sk
in as his lips trailed down the side of my throat, pausing just above my collarbone.
I shook my head. “No. That’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Then what are you talking about?” he asked. His hands left my warm cheeks to slide down to my shoulders.
“The initiation…I want to go through with it.”
It didn’t feel nearly as good to say the words aloud to him as I thought it would. In fact, saying the words made my pulse race and my stomach roll with nausea.
Kace pulled away. His eyes glimmered in the bizarre carnival lights the closer we came to the bottom of the wheel again. I held my breath while I waited for him to speak. From the blank expression on his face, I couldn’t be sure if he was thrilled, like I thought he would be, or if he was just in utter shock from yet another revelation being dumped on him tonight.
“You’re serious?” he asked, his hands coming back up to cup the sides of my face. I nodded, unable to speak. The reveal of my decision to become initiated had not lessened the guilt chewing at my insides over kissing Theo as I’d expected. “Holy shit, this calls for a celebration!”
His lips crushed against mine, and I tried to kiss him back with as much vigor as he was kissing me, but I wasn’t feeling it. My stomach tightened. He’d reacted exactly like I’d pictured he would, and I knew he was going to be pissed once he realized I wasn’t agreeing to go through with it for the reasons he thought.
I swallowed hard. That would be something I’d deal with another day.
The Ferris wheel came to a stop, and we searched until we found Callie and Adam walking around. Callie was still panda bear free, but she did have a bag of pink and blue cotton candy.
“You guys ready?” Adam asked. “This place sucks.”
“Why, because you couldn’t hit enough balloons to win a panda bear?” I smirked, enjoying his moment of self-loathing probably more than I should.
He shifted to glare at me. “Exactly.”
“At least he bought me some cotton candy. Want some?” Callie asked as she held the bag out to me.
“Sure,” I said. I reached in and pulled out a puff of pink.
Confined (A Tethered Novel, Book 3) Page 3
