by J. H. Croix
Luke was shaken out of his thoughts by Nathan, who hollered, “Hey!”
Nathan leaned in the doorway of the main cabin with a scrap of paper and pen.
“Hey, what?” Luke asked.
“Best guess for how long it will take us to make it to the harbor. Whoever wins gets a free dinner at Sally’s after we unload,” Nathan said.
Luke thought for a minute. “Two hours. We’re headed into the wind and water’s choppy.”
“We’re down to minutes here; too many guesses were one hour or two hours.”
“You’re serious?”
At Nathan’s nod, he clarified, “Okay, two hours and five minutes.”
Nathan jotted down Luke’s guess and turned away. Luke started to walk toward the cabin just as Jared came out. He strode over to where Luke stood before asking, “What was your guess?”
“Two hours, five minutes. You?”
“One hour, fifty-five minutes,” Jared said. “Bet you’re hankering to see Hannah,” he continued with a wink.
“You think so, huh?”
“You’ve been mighty quiet about her, which says a lot.” Jared stared forward at the water as he spoke. “A relationship wouldn’t hurt you. Hannah seems nice, and she’s gorgeous.”
“Did you really just say that?” Luke asked, his tone laced with sarcasm.
“Yup. You haven’t given a woman more than a few weeks since you broke it off with Cristina. I’m just saying…”
“You’re just saying? Have you ever, I mean ever, had a serious relationship?” he countered.
Jared looked away from the water to Luke for a long moment. “Relationships are messy. My life is just fine. So Cristina was after Dad’s money through you—whatever. You were all into being serious and got burned. Just think you’ve played it cool for reasons different than mine. And…someone needs to get going on those grandkids for Mom and Dad. Not me and not Nathan right now. God knows we don’t want him to start popping out kids. We’d be babysitting all the time.” Jared flashed a wry smile. “My vote’s for you. And you totally have the hots for Hannah.” With that, Jared turned and headed back to the cabin. Luke shifted his shoulders, the level of unease he felt about Hannah making him restless. Hearing Jared make his point only increased his unease.
Later that evening, Luke, his brothers, and the rest of the crew were seated at one of the long tables at Sally’s. They were on the restaurant side of the place, which had booths lining the walls and wooden tables with benches in the center for larger groups. The restaurant and bar were in a renovated barn, so the area felt spacious with the high ceilings. A narrow walkway ran around the upper floor with a small section of seating for the restaurant in what was once the hayloft. The place retained the name of the original owner, Sally James, who’d passed away many years ago. The bar and restaurant were separated by the kitchen and serving part of the bar, which were situated in the center of the building. The food offered was basic pub fare with the addition of fresh seafood.
Nathan had won the bet and was busy ordering the most costly items on the menu at everyone else’s expense. Luke looked around the restaurant. He caught himself hoping to see Hannah and batted the thought away. He was bone-tired and ready for a long night’s sleep. The only reason he’d been up for coming to Sally’s was that he was starving and knew he didn’t have the energy to cobble something together at home, not to mention that the refrigerator was likely bare.
Jared took a swallow of beer. “Good trip this time. We could maybe make another run next month. In the meantime, I lined up a few day trips.”
Luke nodded. “Yeah, it was a good run. Checked my messages on the way over here and had a few requests. When’s the first trip we already have confirmed?”
“Next week. That’ll give us time to clean the boat and all the gear, not to mention a little time to relax. Dad called too. Left me a message right before we got in. They want to come up in a few weeks and stay for a month. He wants us to call back tonight if we can.”
Luke leaned back as their waitress arrived and set a plate in front of him. He fell quiet as he dug into his food. He thought about their parents, and much as he wanted to see them, he didn’t want to be subject to his mother’s current favorite topic: her longing for grandchildren. While his father wasn’t as vocal, Luke knew he was just as hopeful one of them would settle down soon. He wasn’t ready for the pressure of their hopes to be put on him.
Luke looked up to see Susie walking toward them. Her curls were pulled into a loose ponytail. She had the warm smile that usually graced her face. Luke smiled automatically upon seeing her. Susie strode up to their table quickly. “Hey guys, glad to see you made it back. Did you get your quota?”
Jared responded before Luke could. “That we did. What brings you here?”
Susie quirked an eyebrow. “Well, if it isn’t obvious, I came to eat. Since that’s what you’re doing, not sure why you need to ask.”
Luke saw Jared bristle. He bit back a smile and watched the exchange continue. Jared liked Susie, as just about everyone did, and he respected her because she did a damn good job handling the accounting. But Luke knew she also set Jared on edge sometimes. She was brash and assertive and wasn’t afraid to say whatever came to her mind. Jared would never admit it, but he tended to get uncomfortable with that. He liked to feel in control in conversations, which was not so easy with Susie. She bantered with Jared a bit and then talked accounts with them for a few minutes. Luke wanted to ask her how Hannah was doing and consciously avoided the urge to ask.
Susie asked, “Any plans to see Hannah yet?”
Jared threw back his head and laughed. Luke rolled his eyes. “Not yet. We just got in this afternoon.”
Susie’s brown eyes twinkled, and Luke wondered if she’d asked the question only to get a laugh. “Just wondering. She’s been busy at the house and has started looking into job options. I told her she should see if you guys could use some extra help when you do your day trips. She knows her way around a boat and can keep up with the fishing. She used to go with her parents all the time. I’m just saying…” she trailed off. With that, Susie winked and walked off, leaving Luke wondering what it would be like to spend the day with Hannah on the ocean.
Chapter 14
Hannah toweled her hair dry after showering. It was late afternoon, and she’d spent most of the day working in the yard. A knock at the door and Jessie’s bark fractured the quiet. Tugging on a pair of jeans and a tank top, she walked downstairs into the kitchen and saw Susie leaned against the deck railing looking toward the bay.
“Hey there. What brings you up here?” Hannah asked as she unlatched the screen door and stepped onto the deck.
“The chance to visit you,” Susie said. “I called actually, but there was no answer, so I thought I’d swing by to see if you were home. I was up at Cammi’s place to help her get her new couch in the house. You’d think she’d call someone other than me, seeing as I’m not the biggest person around. But no, she asked me, and of course I said yes. Needless to say, it took a lot longer than we planned. Thank God it was a sectional.”
Hannah leaned beside her on the railing and followed Susie’s gaze to the bay. She took a breath and let it out slowly. Today had been clear and calm. The water was smooth and deep blue. She looked sideways at Susie. “Did you want to come in?”
“Oh sure. Hope you don’t mind me coming by. I like having you back so much that I worry sometimes that I’m not giving you space.”
Hannah shook her head and stepped back, looping her arm through Susie’s as she did. “I’ve had nothing but space for two years! There’s no one in this house but Jessie and me. And thank God for Jessie because it would feel too empty without her. I love being home again. Honestly, before I left, I think I saw you almost every day. I missed Alaska. But more than that, I missed my friends. I wouldn’t want to be here and have you being too respectful of my space. Whatever that means,” Hannah said with a roll of her eyes. She tugged Susie into t
he kitchen with her where Jessie enthusiastically greeted Susie with wiggles and wags.
Susie knelt down by Jessie. “I know we saw each other all the time back then. It’s just different, though. We were in high school, then in Anchorage together for college. Friends are practically glued to each other then. Now we’re grown-ups, so they say.” Susie paused and looked up from petting Jessie. “I guess I just wasn’t sure because you were away for a while. I may not have known exactly what you were going through, but I got that it was too much for you to talk much after your parents died. I guess I just haven’t wanted to seem like I’m pushing myself back into your life. I know I can be pushy and sometimes it isn’t appreciated.”
Hannah looked at Susie for a long moment before answering. “Susie, you’re not pushing yourself into my life. I promise. You have no idea how much it means to me that you just drop by, send Luke with a dog to my door, get nosy about Luke, and help me with the boat in the rain. On top of that, you were the only person I thought to call when I found out my parents kept a whopper of a secret from me. Trust me, it’s okay that you come by. Come by every day. I need to work on reaching out more myself.” She took a deep breath. “Plus you’re the kind of friend that I can tell when I’m starving and need to figure out what to do about that before we talk more.”
Susie laughed and stood up. “That you can. Do you want me to help throw something together, or should we go get something in town?”
Hannah stepped over to the pantry and looked inside. “I’ve got a few things here, but I’m feeling lazy. Want to go to Sally’s? I haven’t been there yet since I’ve been back in town.”
“Sure. I went by there last night, but I can go anytime. They have enough on the menu that I won’t have to repeat. You want to drive or should I?”
“I’ll drive. But let me put something other than a tank top on and some shoes before we go.”
Hannah ran upstairs and threw on a silky green blouse that she buttoned halfway over the tank top. She took a glance in the mirror, swiped a brush through her damp hair, and put on some lip gloss. As Hannah drove to town, Susie kept up a steady stream of talk about old friends. Hannah felt like it would take years to catch up on what she’d missed.
Just as they pulled up to Sally’s, Susie said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you I saw Luke, his brothers, and their crew here last night. They had just gotten in from their trip. He looked exhausted. They all did.”
“You’re just telling me this now?”
“Well, it wasn’t like you missed something big. They were eating. I told him I thought you should look into helping them on day trips,” Susie said slyly.
“What? Susie! You missed your life’s work. You love meddling and should have been a professional matchmaker. I’m not saying you’d pick the right matches, just that you love to meddle.”
“Wait a minute,” Susie said. “All I did was plant a seed. You did say you needed to start looking for work. You used to fish all the time with your parents. It’d be something to do while you find other work. As for environmental science, well, your options are limited to three places or the government. There’s the land heritage group—I forget what it’s called—the Inlet Keeper and the Bay Foundation. You probably will eventually get a job at one of those places. But you know how it is around here. With not many options, it’s all about timing, and waiting for something means doing odd jobs.”
Hannah just looked back at her and didn’t respond for a moment. “I should have known you couldn’t resist doing something like this.”
“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t love to spend some days with Luke. You look like you’re about to spontaneously combust when you’re around him. Might as well take what you can get.”
Hannah shook her head and turned off the engine. “Take what I can get, huh? I did say you could be nosy, but it doesn’t mean I won’t get annoyed.”
Entering Sally’s brought memories back in a flash for Hannah. Sally’s was a central place in town. The restaurant and bar were regularly filled with locals. The kitchen pumped out food quickly, so even when there was a wait, seating was usually available quickly. It was a weeknight, so they were able to snag a booth. Hannah slid in across from Susie and took a long look around the room. She recalled many dinners here with her parents. The food was simple and delicious. It was fairly early in the evening, so the place wasn’t filled yet. The waitress that came over was a young woman who’d lived down the road from her growing up, Kate Thomas. She’d been about five years behind Hannah in school.
“Hey, Hannah! I heard you were back in town,” Kate said as she placed menus on the table in front of them. Kate’s blond hair was pulled back in a bouncy ponytail. Hannah recalled that she’d been active in sports when she was younger, and she still had an athletic look. She had a lively, bubbly air to her. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt with the Sally’s logo on it, the uniform for staff here.
“I am, been back for over a month now. How are you?” Hannah asked while Kate filled their water glasses and pulled out her order book.
Kate twirled the end of her ponytail with one hand. “Oh, I’m good. Working here for the summer. I just finished college, got my BA in psychology. For now, I’m home with my parents and looking into graduate school. How are you?”
They continued chatting for a few minutes, and then Kate took their drink order. Hannah sat quietly while Susie took a call on her cell phone. She looked around and thought about how odd it felt to be somewhere so familiar. Part of her felt like a distant observer. This place had lived in her memory for the last two years and lost its sense of reality. Susie snapped her phone shut and smiled over at Hannah.
“Well, guess who that was?” Susie asked as she pushed her curls away from her face.
“I have no idea. I wasn’t really listening. I try not to eavesdrop, you know.”
“Sometimes eavesdropping is okay. Anyway, that was Jared, you know, Luke’s brother. He needs me to meet with them tomorrow to go over some accounting stuff. He also said to tell you they could use some help next week on one of their trips. I think you should do it. You’ve been working on the yard and house enough. Time to do something fun while you figure out what’s next.”
Hannah looked across the table and took a sip of water. “You really think I should work with them?”
“Yes, why not? More time with Luke is a good thing. It’ll give you a chance to get to know him in a more natural way. And you said you were going to look into odd jobs. I’m just putting one in your path.”
Hannah didn’t want to say it aloud, but she wanted to see more of Luke. And that was the problem. She didn’t want to want to see Luke the way she did. She didn’t trust that she wouldn’t make a fool of herself and fall for him. The feelings he stirred up were precisely why she’d almost consciously been involved with men who didn’t threaten to make her want more than something superficial. “I’ll think about it,” she finally said.
Susie gave her a long look. “Okay, now let’s move on to something else. Have you decided when you’re going to try to call your mother’s family?”
Hannah took in the question and sighed. She knew Susie wasn’t one to shy away from anything. “I don’t know. I won’t pretend I don’t think about it a lot because I do. It’s just that every time I do, I try to change the channel in my brain. I want to call, and I don’t want to call. It seems crazy, but part of me wants to forget what I found. I mean, my parents will never be here to explain it to me.”
Susie opened her mouth to speak. Hannah held her hand up. “Let me finish. I know you’re dying to say something. So there’s that part, and then I’m desperate to get all the answers I can, no matter how incomplete they are. What if I can find my sister, if she’s even really out there? It’s surreal. Part of me keeps wondering if it’s all a big mistake and there is no sister anywhere. I don’t know.” She leaned her elbows on the table and placed her head in her hands. She took a breath and slowly exhaled, air sifting through her fingers.
> She met Susie’s gaze, which was concerned and had that particular resolve that Susie was wont to have. “What are you thinking?” Hannah asked.
Susie set down the menu she’d been holding. “Honestly, you know me, I say let’s just charge forward. Remember the Hannah that wasn’t afraid to chase off a moose? Well, we need some of her mojo for now. I’ll help all I can. Do you mind if I ask my mom about it? She was pretty tight with your mother. For all we know, your mother talked to someone about it. My mom will keep it quiet. Plus, ever since she retired from teaching, she loves a research project. She’ll be on the Internet day and night seeing what she can find out if we let her in on what you found. She’s got more time and patience for that type of thing than either one of us. What do you think?”
Hannah sat quietly for a moment and wondered what had happened to the Hannah that Susie spoke of, the one who chased moose off and swam in Otter Cove in the dark. The colors in the place mat blurred. Her throat was hot and tight. She swiped a hand across her eyes. She looked over at Susie and met her friend’s eyes. For a beat, she felt embarrassed to be wiping away tears, and then remembered that this was the friend whom she’d cried to when the first boy she liked didn’t like her back, when she’d failed her first driving test out of nerves, and when she’d sprained her ankle on the front steps of their high school. In turn, Susie, though typically bold, had cried wildly over similar slights. The embarrassment dissolved.
