by Nicola Marsh
‘As much as having Rad for a father sucked, I think you’re using him as a cop-out.’
He visibly recoiled.
‘I know what it’s like, not having a role model. I never had a mum, not really. She basically tolerated me being around ‘til I hit sixteen, then she turfed me out onto the streets.’
He paled. ‘My God—’
‘I’ve dealt with it, moved on.’
She watched the figures click into place. ‘Sixteen? That’s ten years ago, just after Rad’s funeral when I left Melbourne …’
‘Yeah, Hector was grieving after losing Rad and you. I was squatting in his shed, he found me, took me in, gave me everything.’
Pride darkened his eyes to midnight. ‘Pop’s amazing.’
‘He is. So that thing about not having good role models? I’m in the same boat as you but you don’t see me cowering in a corner.’
She started pacing, second-guessing the wisdom of unburdening herself but feeling darn good in the process.
‘I was like you. Superficially dating, seeing people casually, knowing it wouldn’t lead anywhere. My mum hurt me; I built a wall no one could breach. But Hector showed me it was okay to trust, then you came along and I took the biggest risk of my life.’
And lost. Though that wasn’t the point. She’d taken the risk of loving him and, while it hurt like hell to lose him, she now knew she could do it.
His jaw sagged before he snapped it shut. ‘What are you saying?’
‘That letting you into my life, I fell in love for the first time, knowing you would never feel that way about me.’
If the air between them weren’t crackling with the ever-present underlying tension she would’ve laughed at his stunned expression.
‘I’m your first love?’
‘Uh-huh. So now you know.’
She turned away so he wouldn’t see the glimmer of tears, waited for the slam of the door, expecting him to run faster than he had last time.
When he grabbed her shoulders and spun her around, his wondrous expression surprised her more than the fact he’d stayed.
‘I’m the only guy you’ve ever loved?’
‘What do you want, a medal?’
His mouth opened and closed, his stunned expression giving way to male pride as he tilted her chin up to study her face.
‘You’re right about a lot of stuff but not all of it. That part about me not feeling that way about you?’
Her heart stalled as all the blood drained from her face.
‘I do. Love you, that is.’
She blinked, sure she must’ve misheard him.
‘I love you, Charli. It’s why I came back.
Why I want to stay, if you’ll have me. We can date, hang out, chill, whatever, as long as you’re willing to take another chance on an emotionally repressed guy hell-bent on making up for lost time.’
Her heart leapt at his declaration before reality slapped it back down.
Luca didn’t commit. It was why he threw pots of money at his charities but never actually spent time with the kids there. He was like some philanthropic Robin Hood without the tights.
So while he said he wanted to give a relationship a go, it wouldn’t last. He’d want to do the right thing, to be the opposite of his father to prove he could.
But how long before he got tired of the regular nights in and dirty dishes in the sink and the same cranky partner who’d had a crappy day at work and just wanted to veg in front of the TV with a chick flick and a tub of choc-fudge ice cream?
Luca was a free spirit, the type of guy who couldn’t be tied down for long, and no chance in hell would she let him into her life only to have him leave at some point in the future when the going got tough.
She wouldn’t put herself through that. If it was hard letting him walk away now, knowing he loved her, it would be debilitating if she got in any deeper.
Stepping out of his embrace, she backed away.
‘Charli? Say something.’
Heck, what could she say without driving a stake through both their hearts?
Anger tightened his mouth. ‘Though maybe your silence says it all.’
He advanced on her and she shuffled backwards until her butt hit a chair, the anguish in his eyes tearing her apart.
‘Don’t you think after the upbringings we had, loving someone is the ultimate gamble? Yet here we both are, crazy about each other, owing it to ourselves to see this thing through. I’m willing to try. Are you?’
The tears she’d been battling couldn’t be contained any longer, trickling down her cheeks as wave after wave of regret and sadness washed over her, leaving her wrung out.
Luca made a move to comfort her but she held up her hands, knowing she’d lose it completely if he took her in his arms.
She desperately wanted to believe him, wanted to let him into her heart and her life. But while he’d been a coward in running out of here last time, deep down, she was a coward too.
She’d resigned herself to not having him, had steeled herself for days now to function without falling apart every time the memory of his kiss, his caress, his touch, popped into her head. And she’d been doing just fine, until he strutted in here, devastating her all over again with his declaration.
Was she running scared? Scared of giving him another chance despite her false bravado taking a risk in the first place?
Maybe now wasn’t the time to be making any hasty decisions. She had to think, something that was increasingly difficult on the maximum of two hours’ snatched sleep a night she’d been getting since he left.
Her head ached with the effort of sorting through her feelings, his honesty and the mind-blowing possibility of a future she’d never dared imagine. For now, she needed time and space and a good night’s sleep to clear her foggy head.
She swiped at her tears and took several steadying breaths to stop her voice wobbling like her tired legs.
‘Let me think about it. I’m dead on my feet and really need some sleep.’
Incredulous, he reached out to her before thinking better of it and jamming his hands into his pockets. ‘That’s it?’
On the verge of passing out from fatigue, she shook her head to clear the fog.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Doesn’t the fact I love you mean anything? The fact I want to give us a go?’
Increasingly fuzzy, she waved a hand as if shooing him away.
‘You loving me is unexpected and crazy and the best thing I’ve ever heard. But this is complicated. You’re a guy who needs freedom. You’ll get bored. You’re busy playing Robin Hood and I love my job and Hector’s involved and I need to think …’
But Luca didn’t give her time to think. He bundled her into his arms, determined to never let go.
‘I can’t lose you, Charli. Not again.’
He cradled her close and buried his nose in her neck, inhaling her sweet floral fragrance, wanting to stay here for ever.
For ever is a long time … Who would’ve thought he’d ever contemplate it yet in that moment, holding Charli close, he finally understood what had driven his mum all those years, why she’d put up with fragments of
Rad’s time, why she’d tolerated being on the fringe of his life and taking what she could get.
If she’d loved Rad half as much as he loved Charli, he got it. He’d do anything to be with Charli, now he just had to convince her that his feelings were genuine.
Releasing his death-grip on her, he cradled her face in his hands, the confusion in her eyes spurring him on. ‘Let’s clear up a few misconceptions. Freedom is overrated. I’ll never get bored being with you. The Robin Hood thing you’ll have to explain to me. But listen up.’
He needed her to understand so she’d never have any reason to doubt him ever again.
‘Loving you isn’t a one-shot deal I’ll tire of. It’s about your quirky sense of humour and your obsession with dragons and your love of aniseed drops.’
He brushed a soft kiss
on her cheek. ‘It’s about your ability to bring out the best in me, your affection for Pop, your constant striving to be the best.’
This time, his kiss lingered longer, drifting closer to her mouth.
‘It’s about you being brilliant and beautiful inside and out and making me love you for no other reason than being you.’
He slanted a kiss across her lips, felt her lips part on a heartfelt sigh beneath his.
‘It’s about you making me feel like I can be emotionally invested in us. For ever.’
He didn’t give her time to hesitate or question or second-guess. He kissed her with every ounce of pent-up emotion making him crazy inside, kissed her until they were both breathless.
‘That charm sure comes in handy sometimes, huh?’
With love shining from her eyes, she cupped his cheek. ‘A speech like that is guaranteed to go to a girl’s head and make her do all sorts of crazy things.’
He grinned and leaned into her hand. ‘Like?’
‘Like saying she loves you madly, passionately, deeply. Like saying she’d like to spend for ever with you too.’
The lump of emotion in his throat he thought he’d dealt with at Hector’s reappeared, much larger, much scarier. But with Charli holding onto him, basking in her love, what did he have to fear?
‘The Robin Hood thing? You hang with the rich, raising money to give to the poor.’
A shadow flickered across her eyes, sending an arrow of fear through him. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘You give a lot to the underprivileged, especially kids, right?’
‘Yeah.’
Her hand caressed his cheek before sliding lower and resting on his chest, over his heart.
‘Well, seeing as you’re now committed to me, how about we really test your new-found emotional powers?’
‘Huh?’
She smiled and that organ beneath her hand swelled with so much love he couldn’t believe he was a newbie at this.
‘Remember those poor kids we handed out free concert tickets to in the country towns? ‘
‘Yeah.’
He had no idea where she was going with this but as long as she was in his arms, she could keep talking as long as she liked.
‘Some of those kids are into music. They had guitar cases and sheet music and stuff. Wouldn’t it be great if we could do something more for them than hand out free tickets or take them backstage?’
‘Like?’
‘What about opening a music school in Melbourne for kids who can’t afford it? You can fund it with your Robin Hood ways and I’ll help run it and I’m sure Hector could be cajoled into offering record deals and—’
‘You’re something else.’
He silenced her with a kiss, blown away by her generosity and warmth.
‘The answer’s yes, by the way. If I’m handing my heart to you for safekeeping, why not spread it round to a few needy kids too?’
She nudged him, hard, and he laughed.
‘And while I’m opening my extremely fragile heart up to you and these kids, guess you should know Pop and I had our first real bonding experience and I’m including him in the love fest too.’
She kissed him in response. ‘You’re incredible.’
‘Right back at you.’
His gaze dropped to the towel knotted between her breasts.
‘You know what else is incredible? My mind-reading abilities. I’m going to do what you wanted to do the first time you saw me.’
Her lips twitched. ‘What’s that?’
‘Lose the towel.’
‘Wow, that’s some ego. Who said I wanted you to lose the—?’
He kissed away her false protest and let his fingers do the rest.
As the towel tumbled to the floor and they lost themselves in the pleasure of the moment Luca silently vowed to stock their laundry with the best Egyptian cotton bath sheets money could buy.
After all, he had a lifetime of unknotting towels ahead of him.
EPILOGUE
One year later …
‘YOU sure this racket is good for the baby?’
Charli tilted her head up to smile at Luca. ‘If I’d known you’d be this overprotective I’d never have agreed to marry you.’
Sliding his arms tighter around her seven-month bulging belly, he nuzzled her neck.
‘Keep telling yourself that, Mrs Petrelli. Because we both know you’re so crazy for me you’re putty in my hands.’
She elbowed him, enjoying his indignant oomph.
‘Be quiet. This music is fabulous.’
Luca winced. ‘Storm Varth is way past it.’
Swivelling in his arms, she patted his cheek and smiled sweetly.
‘Jealous because you can’t pull off the ripped leather pants and see-through black singlet look?’
‘Jealous? Of him?’
Luca puffed up his chest just in case and they laughed, watching the aging rocker prance across the stage, belting out a classic medley from a decade before they were born.
She patted his chest and he promptly deflated, hugging her closer while jerking his head towards a corner of the stage where a young rock group were poring over sheet music.
‘It’s cool that our first batch of graduates from the music school was the supporting act tonight.’
Standing on tiptoe, she kissed his cheek. ‘Thanks to you.’
Bashful, he shrugged. ‘Hey, it was your idea.’
‘We make a great team.’
A signature Storm Varth guitar riff made him jump and she laughed.
‘Pop’s rapt with the turnout.’
‘Yeah.’
She peeked around the curtain at Melbourne’s largest outdoor arena, the crowd a mass of stomping, screaming fans for the fifth night in a row.
‘And thanks to you, we’ve got Storm signed to release his next two CDs with us.’
His humble grin made her want to hug him for ever. ‘Yeah, who knew I’d turn out to be a regular Robin Hood plus the best agent in the music business?’
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she stood on tiptoe to kiss him.
‘I never had any doubt.’
‘Thanks,’ he murmured in her ear, trailing soft, swoon-worthy kisses along her jaw towards her mouth.
‘Now how about we skip the rest of this gig and head home? I hear a new shipment of towels just arrived …’
Charli didn’t need to be asked twice.
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the prior consent of the publisher in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
® and TM are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.
First published in Great Britain 2011
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Nicola Marsh 2011
ISBN: 978-1-408-91725-1
br /> Nicola Marsh, Sex, Gossip and Rock & Roll
