“It’s six. You can sleep more. I want to go talk to my mom.”
“About what?”
“Just to visit,” Rafferty said, not meeting Megan’s gaze.
“At this ungodly hour? Rafferty, what’s really going on?” Megan leaned up on one elbow.
“It’s this secret love affair thing she has going on. I want to talk to her about it and I can’t do it at the office. I’m going to pick us up some Starbucks coffee and have a little chat. It’s not like her to keep secrets and I’m worried.”
“She’s a big girl.”
“I know but this is big. I’ll be back before you know it,” Rafferty said. She kissed Megan’s forehead.
“Don’t get in a fight.” Megan could tell Rafferty wasn’t going to be dissuaded. She rolled back over and closed her eyes.
Upstairs at Bel’s house that same morning, Bel lay on Helen’s stomach. “I love you.”
Helen smiled and ran her fingers through Bel’s hair. “And I love you madly.”
“No one has ever made me feel this way.”
“What way is that?” Helen asked as she pulled Bel up closer until she held her in her arms.
“So well loved,” Bel said, tears welling up in eyes.
Helen wiped Bel’s eyes. “Thank you for taking us to this place. I don’t think I would have had the courage even though I wanted to.”
“I can honestly say that I’ve never had such a feeling of elation coupled with fear in my entire life as I did when I kissed you.”
“I’m so glad you did.”
Bel pulled her close. “Are you hungry?”
“Absolutely famished. It must be all the exercise.”
“I bought you a present.” Bel went to the closet and pulled out a beautifully wrapped present.
“What’s this?” Helen asked. She unwrapped the present to find a black silk kimono with a small, very intricate dragon on the right breast. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, Bel.”
“I thought you might need it around here.”
“So this is my first possession for your house?”
“Yes, and I hope there will be many more.”
Helen put the robe on. “Oh, Bel, it’s beautiful.” She gave Bel a big hug.
“It looks great on you,” Bel said, getting up and putting on her own silk robe. “I thought we’d have eggs Benedict.”
“That sounds fabulous. Can we go like this?”
“Of course. Besides, your clothes are still downstairs.”
Helen smiled.
They held hands as they went downstairs. As they rounded the corner, they both stopped in their tracks. Rafferty stood in the kitchen waiting for them. Helen watched Rafferty’s face as recognition and disbelief took hold. This was not good, nor was it the way Helen had envisioned telling the girls. She had thought they’d have dinner, sit on the couch and have a rational chat about the nature of love and go from there.
“Helen?” Rafferty said. “What are you two doing?”
“I think that’s fairly obvious. What are you doing here?” Bel asked.
“I came to talk to you, to see what’s been going on in your life and why you’ve been so secretive.”
“Not secretive, rather I’ve been private.”
“But this . . . this isn’t right. What are you doing? Helen is Megan’s mother,” Rafferty said, her face getting red.
“I’m aware of that,” Bel said calmly.
“So is Megan next on your list of just-turned-lesbian conquests? Couldn’t you have chosen someone else?”
“When you find your soul mate it’s not a matter of choice,” Bel replied.
“I can’t believe you. You’re sleeping with my girlfriend’s mother,” Rafferty screamed.
“Rafferty, stop it this minute,” Bel said firmly. “I admit this is difficult but I love Helen and she just happens to be Megan’s mother.”
“That’s great! Maybe we could all get a duplex and live together in mother-daughter harmony.”
“Rafferty, you will cease this diatribe immediately and leave the premises until you’ve managed to control yourself and behave in a civilized manner,” Bel said, taking control of the situation.
“Fine! Don’t expect me back,” she said. She slammed the front door.
“Like I want you to, you selfish brat!” Bel screamed after her.
Helen could see Bel had had enough. Bel banged her head on the doorframe and Helen put an arm around her shoulder. Helen refrained from telling her people in the loony bin exhibited similar behavior.
Bel looked over at Helen. “I certainly hope Megan takes it better.”
“I think Megan may already know,” Helen replied.
“You do?”
“Call it mother’s intuition but she’s dropped hints. Let me call her. If anyone can talk to Rafferty it’s Megan.”
“Somebody’s got to. That child will be the death of me.”
“I hope not.”
Helen called Megan and explained the situation. Megan didn’t seem surprised. “I thought she was up to something,” Megan said, referring to Rafferty.
“What do you mean?” Helen asked.
“She was real secretive and said she’d be back shortly but it was like she needed to check on something. I guess we all figured that out. Did they get in a fight?”
“Yes.”
“She didn’t see you doing it, did she? Because that would’ve been truly traumatic.”
“Megan! No, of course not.”
“Good. I’ll go find her and have a talk. Tell Bel not to worry. I’ve got the goods on Rafferty.”
“Goods?”
“Leverage.”
“So you’re all right with this?”
“Well, yeah. It’s kind of weird but I think Bel is hot and I want you to be happy. Besides, if Lars, the man who pretends to be my father, ever finds out, he’ll freak. How cool is that? Maybe I’ll send him a card, like the lame ones he sends me for my birthday.”
Helen sighed. “Megan . . .”
“Sorry. I’ll talk to Rafferty and try and fix things. I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.” She hung up the phone and put on the coffee.
Bel let out an exasperated sigh and banged her head on the doorframe again. “How come your kid is so marvelous and mine is such a shit?”
“Megan thinks you’re hot.”
“I always liked that girl. So she knew?”
“Yes, I guess we weren’t as discreet as we thought. It was bound to come out sooner or later.”
“I would’ve preferred later.”
Helen smiled and wrapped her arms around Bel. “This will all work out.”
Bel nestled in Helen’s arms. “God, I hope so.”
Megan called Rafferty’s cell phone in the vain hope that she might answer. Instead she got her voice mail. Rafferty had changed her message. It said, “I don’t give a fuck who you are or what you want so don’t bother leaving a fucking message.”
Megan got out of bed and made coffee. Rafferty would show when she was ready. She spent the time trying to come up with a logical lawyer-like defense for her mother and Bel. Megan couldn’t say she hadn’t seen it coming, but clearly this wasn’t something rash they had rushed into. In her opinion, they had slowly come to the conclusion that they were in love, and love, as she knew, had a physical side to it when you’re consenting adults. Why Rafferty couldn’t see this was beyond her. It was after all their story. Hadn’t Megan come to the same kind of conclusion? Perhaps it was every woman’s story who crosses the line that divides straight and gay.
Megan had just gotten out of the shower when Rafferty showed. She had stopped at McDonald’s and gotten them breakfast. Megan took this to be a good sign. “Are you all right?”
“Your mother called you,” Rafferty said, not meeting Megan’s gaze.
“Yes.”
“My mother’s a coward.”
“No, she’s your mother and she’s concerned about you.” Megan poured two cu
ps of coffee and got plates out for breakfast.
“If she was concerned about me she wouldn’t be sleeping with your mother.”
“Rafferty, love is a strange thing. Two months ago I was getting married and now I’m madly in love with you. Can’t we give them a break? They probably had no idea that they would fall in love, but they did. You’ve got to cut them some slack.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why are you so angry?”
Rafferty looked at Megan. “She could’ve told me. Instead, I have to sneak around and try and figure out what’s going on. This is big and she didn’t share it with me.”
“That’s why you’re angry,” Megan said, suddenly getting it. Rafferty felt left out and for the first time in her life she had been supplanted by someone else in her mother’s affections. Megan put her arm around Rafferty’s shoulders and whispered in her ear, “It’s time you cut the cord. It’s possible, you know, that Bel had similar feelings about falling in love.”
“She never said anything.”
“Nor would she. For as close a relationship as you two have, you don’t communicate very well.”
Rafferty smiled. “No, we don’t.”
“Come on, let’s go riding and have a good day. This thing will work its way out. You’ve got to give your mom a chance.”
“You really want to go?”
“I’ve got the outfit, don’t I? I want to be a part of your passion, and since we both know it’s horses and not the law, I need to learn about horses.”
“You’re amazing.”
“Why?”
“Because you can take the worse moment and make it better.” After they ate breakfast and drove out to the ranch, Megan knew that her girlfriend would survive the first shock of cutting the cord with her mother. She knew there would be more but they would seem small in comparison.
On Monday morning, Rafferty and Megan attempted to cruise by Bel’s office without being noticed. They were not successful.
“Rafferty and Megan, a word, please,” Bel called out.
“Do I have to?” Rafferty said. Megan pinched her.
“Yes, please close the door.”
Megan knew this was serious. Part of her wished she didn’t have to be a part of it but the other part of her knew that this thing involved all of them and she had to hold up her end. Rafferty shut the door. Megan took a deep breath and prayed for the best. Bel sat on the corner of her desk.
“Rafferty, I know this is hard for you but the day I found you in the arms of the softball team captain was not an easy moment for me either. I was anxious, annoyed and concerned for your future. I know that love and sex are too important to be subjugated to the constrictions of gender. If you loved women, then I accepted that. I have a chance now to know happiness with Helen. Are you going to begrudge me that?”
“You had your chance with Dad.”
“Your father was a prick. I prayed every day that God would take him and finally he did. The day he died was one of the happiest days of my life.”
Megan watched as Rafferty stood staring in complete and utter disbelief. This was a bigger moment than she had envisioned. Rafferty had talked about her father in rather glowing terms and Megan had chalked it off as a young girl’s vision of her dead father. She had told Rafferty about her father and how memory can distort things but it had not affected her. Megan let it stand. Rafferty was only six when her father died.
“Why did you stay if you hated him so much?”
“Your father was a very powerful man. If I had left him, he would have taken you away and made certain that I never had access to you. Besides, do you have any idea what he would have done with you and your homosexuality? You’d be locked up in a loony bin somewhere.”
Rafferty was quiet. Megan could tell her whole make-believe world was crashing around her feet. Megan knew that Rafferty had few memories of her father so she had most likely concocted all sorts of girlish fantasies about what he was like. Megan had gone through a similar period when she’d told herself her father was not the terrible man who had deserted her mother and her to start up with a woman half his age. That lasted until the day she’d been assigned to a divorce case with similar circumstances and she had finally seen her father for what he was, a vain man in search of physical conquests. That day, the house of cards came crashing down.
“He wasn’t like I imagined him.”
“No, sweetie, he wasn’t. He was a bad man that I protected you from.”
“Do we have to go on family vacations?”
Bel laughed. “No.”
“You know I like Helen. I just kind of freaked out.”
“And became a raving homophobe.”
“It was parental homophobia,” Rafferty said.
“I know it’s difficult and I admit it kind of blows my mind but I have never felt this happy, except for one day,” Bel said, gazing out the window.
“When was that?” Rafferty said.
“The first time I saw you and held you in my arms.”
“I was probably wailing up a storm too. You should have known then.”
Bel pinched her arm and Megan laughed.
“Ouch!”
“You’re so emotionally detached sometimes I wonder if you’re even warm-blooded.”
“Megan thinks differently,” Rafferty said, staring intently at Megan.
“I bet she does, and you two need to behave yourselves. Sam keeps complaining about finding you two popping out of his utility closet.”
“I love you, Mom.”
Bel pulled her close.
Chapter Twelve
Helen was in her office Friday morning talking to God, who was still having an identity crisis that Helen couldn’t seem to cure her of. God, it seemed, believed that the world had forgotten the original nature of her being and was instead entertaining notions that even God couldn’t have come up with and too much of it was filled with distortions and hatred. Helen nodded sadly.
“You have no solution?” God said, rubbing her sweaty palms on her khaki Capri pants. She was wearing a Hawaiian print shirt with giant blue and yellow flowers on it and a pair of Birkenstocks. She looked like the epitome of a tourist, which Helen supposed she was.
“I think writing your book was a good idea. I don’t understand the new title. Why The Gossamer Effect?”
God picked up the Buddha statue and petted his little bald head. “Have I ever told you the story of filament?”
“Excuse me?” Helen wondered if the story was somehow connected to the title of the book. The longer she hung out with God the more she understood the reasoning behind the tangential nature of the universe. God was one big tangent.
“It’s the story of gossamer wings,” God said, putting the statue back on the desk.
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s the idea that the world as you know it is covered in an invisible film like a giant spider web that connects us all. As one person behaves so it affects the lives and behavior of others but sometimes it takes a shove to get the whole thing going.”
“Thus the gossamer wings.” Helen liked it when things came to neat conclusions, especially when they pertained to God.
“Precisely, because sometimes it can go stagnant and lose its flexibility. This doesn’t happen if it keeps moving.” God fluttered her fingers to illustrate her point.
“I think the title is pertinent. Perhaps what needs to happen is an incremental reintroduction of faith and kindness back into the universe. The book will be a start.”
“I’m glad you feel that way, because there’s a second part to my idea.”
“What might that be?” Helen felt her heart beat more rapidly. Somehow this was going to involve her. The other thing that she had noticed about spending time with God was that God always had ulterior motives.
“You’re having Megan and Rafferty for dinner on Sunday, correct?”
“Yes, how did you know? Oh, never mind.”
Go
d smiled.
“I can’t get used to the idea that you know everything.”
“I’d like to come for dinner.”
“Oh?” Helen wondered what this was about.
“I need to talk to Megan and Rafferty. I have a little assignment for them.”
“What kind of an assignment?” Now Helen’s palms were sweating. They were completely healed, so whatever strange skin disorder they had suffered was in the process of correcting itself. Helen was convinced God was somehow involved in the healing process. Gigi’s mother had sprinkled holy water on her feet and they were now good as new. Helen remembered Gigi telling her the story of her mother sending away for holy water. Rose had made them pray together and then doused Gigi’s feet with the stuff. It appeared to have worked. Gigi thought her mother was completely nuts but she didn’t complain about the results.
“Rafferty boards her horses at a ranch that’s for sale.”
“She has horses?”
“No one but Megan knows this. I need them to buy the ranch.”
“Why?”
“It’s located on a vortex. Gigi and the girls will run it as a dude ranch. This will be a disguise for its true purpose. Certain people will be drawn here, where they’ll change and then go back into the world to keep the gossamer effect going.”
“That is the most absurd scheme I’ve ever heard of,” Helen said, hoping she might stand some chance of talking God out of her new plan. This was unprofessional of her, she knew, but for the sake of family harmony she was willing to step out of character.
“Which is precisely why it will work,” God said adamantly. Helen shook her head. “It’s ludicrous. None of them has that kind of money.”
“No, but they will,” God said, smiling.
When God smiled like that, it always made Helen nervous. It meant she was up to something. “How?” she asked.
“A well-timed, well-placed bet.”
“On the horses?” Helen said, suddenly catching on. “Bel’s going to kill me.”
“No, she won’t. She loves you. But she’s going to be perfectly furious with me. It will, however, strengthen her relationship with Rafferty. She’ll be happier being a cowgirl and Bel will still have
Megan, whom she’ll groom to be a great lawyer. Everyone will be happier.”
Talk of the Town Too Page 15
