“Oh, my,” God said, taking a seat next to Bel on the couch and handing her the Kleenex box. “I see we’re not taking the news very well.”
Helen nodded as Bel started a new torrent of tears. “And then she hid this whole horse business from me like I’m some sort of jealous, controlling monster. I would have bought her a damn horse if she’d wanted one so badly. Maybe I’d like to see her ride, but no, she slinks around.”
“You’re not a monster, Bel,” Helen said. “Sometimes, we keep quiet about things that are close to our hearts because then they remain special, if only for a short while. Remember how we didn’t tell the girls about us?”
“Yes,” Bel said, staring at Helen. “I wanted it to be my special little moment.”
“Exactly.”
“And I knew Rafferty was going to be furious when she found out,” Bel said, starting to cry again.
“Let me try,” God said, exasperated. “Bel, this is her dream. She hid it from you because she loves you and didn’t want to disappoint you.”
“But a dude ranch? That won’t fly. I accepted her being gay and feared for her life from some horrid hate crime—now this.”
“It’s going to work,” God assured her.
“How?” Bel slumped down on the couch. She looked perfectly miserable.
“Sperm.”
“Sperm?”
“Racehorse sperm, to be exact.”
“Rafferty doesn’t know anything about stud fees and horse- breeding.”
“But she does,” God said.
Bel started to sob again. “I don’t even know my own daughter anymore.”
“What I mean is she’ll learn and then she’ll have all the things she needs and more.”
Bel looked skeptical.
“Oy. I’m God. I can do things. All right, I admit there’ve been screw-ups, but I’ve got this one down. Bel, she’s the light of your life, not an indentured servant—even she’ll become free at some point. It’s time,” God said, handing her another tissue.
Megan sat on the corner of Rafferty’s desk, which for some odd reason was amazingly tidy. Usually her desk looked like someone had put a bomb in the center of it and blown papers everywhere, and like most untidy people, Rafferty claimed to know where everything was located.
“How long has it been?” Megan asked.
Rafferty looked at her Palm Pilot. She had set the timer the moment Bel left the office in a huff. She told Megan that she’d set her alarm clock when she was younger in order to chart the length of time she could stay away from her mother. This had been the longest. “Seventy-two hours, twelve minutes and thirty-five seconds, to be exact. This is officially the longest fight we’ve ever had. This doesn’t give me good vibes.”
Megan sighed heavily. “How much longer can she hold out? Are you scared?”
“Petrified. It’s hard when your dream comes true and you’re not really ready. This is big. I mean, we hardly know these people we’re sharing property with. Caroline will be a great help with her background in business management, but Gigi, she’s out there. Do you really think this is going to work?” Rafferty rubbed her eyes. Megan knew they both needed some sleep but they’d been nervous, so insomnia had become their new best friend. They must have watched five movies in the last few nights. Thank goodness it was Friday.
“The woman upstairs seems to think so.”
“Do you ever think about how freaky this is?”
“Yes, but I think it’s sweet that she hasn’t given up on us.”
Bel suddenly appeared in the doorway. “Rafferty and Megan, a word.”
Megan got up. She quietly closed the door. Her heart was racing. Bel took a seat in Rafferty’s office then changed her mind and went over to the window and stared out for a moment. Megan suspected she was gathering her thoughts, most likely for an onslaught none of them was truly ready for.
The silence was excruciating. Finally Rafferty blurted, “Mom, I’m sorry I hurt you. I should’ve told you about the horses. I just didn’t think you’d like the idea.”
Bel turned slowly around. “No, I’ve thought about this long and hard. I should be the one who’s sorry.”
Megan almost fell out of her chair. Bel did not talk like this. Rafferty just sat staring in disbelief.
“I—” Rafferty started to say.
“No, listen. I’ve been selfish. I’ve held you back from things—I almost stopped you from dating Megan, and that would have been a travesty for both of us. I wanted to keep you close, to protect you from the evil world, and that wasn’t fair to you. So I accept your decision.”
“Really?”
“Really.” Bel smiled.
“You get to keep Megan and we’ll still see each other a lot. Besides, Megan is a much better lawyer than I am.”
“You would be if you applied yourself. I’m sure you’ll make a great cowgirl.”
“You almost said that without wincing,” Rafferty said, getting up.
“I’ll get used to it.”
Rafferty took all the tidy piles of legal documents and threw them up in the air. They come down in a shower of white.
Bel laughed. “I guess we’re done with that.”
“I love you,” Rafferty said, giving her a huge hug.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.” Bel wrapped her arms around her. Megan smiled. This was truly a momentous occasion.
“I’ve never been this happy and it’s because of you. Thanks, Mom.”
“Now go buy your ranch and I expect the first dinner invitation,” Bel said, bending over to pick up the papers.
Megan and Rafferty fairly skipped out of the office.
Chapter Thirteen
When Megan and Rafferty got to the title company office Gigi was sitting in the lobby with her head between her knees. Caroline had her hand on Gigi’s back. Their shoes made almost no noise on the heavy plush carpet that lined the lobby. Everything was decorated in muted burgundy tones.
“What’s wrong with her?” Rafferty asked.
“She’s having a panic attack.” Caroline shrugged.
“This is just fucking great. Where the hell is Delphi when you need her?” Rafferty said, pulling her frazzled hair into a ponytail.
“She might be kind of busy. She probably assumes that we can handle it,” Megan said. A month had passed since they won the money and made their deal with God.
“I don’t think we’re doing a very good job of it at the moment,” Caroline said, eyeing Gigi as she got up and spit in the nearest trash can. She had a dry heave and a couple passing by stopped and stared.
Gigi came back and sat with her head in her hands. “Oh, I feel terrible.”
Rafferty squatted down next to her and lifted up her head in a no-nonsense manner. Megan agreed it was time to take action. Rafferty was not going to be this close to her dream and have a pipsqueak with a bad stomach ruin everything. “Gigi, sweetie darling, I just quit my job at the law firm, horrified my mother and put my whole life on the line here, so if anyone should be having a panic attack here it would be me. I don’t think quitting your job as a photographer of auras for New Age nutballs is in the same category. So buck up and let’s get on with this.”
Horrified, Megan looked at Rafferty. This was not a good start to the partnership. They had just spent the last month buying the ranch and getting everything legally organized, which had been no small task.
“What?” Rafferty said. “It’s true, isn’t it? She needs to get up and get with the program. Take a few deep breaths and let’s roll.”
“Rafferty!” Megan said. “That was a little harsh.”
“No, she’s right,” Gigi said, straightening her shoulders and then standing up. “I can do this.”
“Great, let’s go,” Rafferty said. She put her arm through Gigi’s. “You know, you and I have a lot in common—we’re both shits—so this might just work out.”
Gigi smiled. “I think you have bigger balls than I do.”
&
nbsp; “That’s why my pants are bigger than yours.”
“For all your extra equipment?” Gigi asked.
They all laughed.
“Yep, pretty soon I’ll need a dolly just to carry it all around,” Rafferty said, pushing the elevator button. Megan smiled. This was the beginning of their new lives and when it was over they could go celebrate and then drive to the ranch to check it all out. She couldn’t wait.
Epilogue
Two months later
They had been at the ranch two months now and Megan, Rafferty and Caroline had been working out the requisitions for all the stuff running a ranch required. They had converted one of the old ranch houses into the operations center. Caroline was off for the summer from her job as a teaching assistant in the M.B.A. program at the small-business college.
“I don’t know what I would do without you. Like, I can run an Excel program. I wasn’t even good at logging my hours as a lawyer. My mom used to get so mad. I like to do things, not chart them,” Rafferty said.
“And boy did she get pissed,” Megan piped in. She was going through a Western wear catalogue looking for some new boots.
“I know, but once I get this set up you will be so organized that you can do inventory, place your orders, pay for them and then sit back and have a cocktail in the evening and not have to worry about a thing,” Caroline said, her fingers flitting across the keyboard like they were possessed.
Gigi came into the office and they all looked up.
“How do I look?” Gigi asked. She was dressed in a checkered cowboy shirt with a red bandana tied around her neck, tight Wrangler jeans and short red cowboy boots with white scrolls on them.
Caroline sat with her mouth wide open and Rafferty started to giggle.
“What?” Gigi asked.
“The truth?” Rafferty said. Megan could see she was obviously trying to compose herself.
“Yeah.”
“You look absolutely absurd,” Rafferty said. “What’s with the getup?” Caroline asked.
“I’m doing this talk at the Women’s Center on getting your life together and about writing books. Danielle hooked me up with this gig. She says that since the community center helped me get back on track, I should share my lessons of success with other women. I thought this outfit would go great with the dude-ranch writer thing. You know, like Tony Hillerman. I want to play the part,” Gigi said. She adjusted her giant silver belt buckle.
“Oh,” Caroline said.
“Where’d you get that?” Rafferty asked.
“At the feed store,” Gigi replied.
This started a fresh set of giggles.
“Would you like a bale of hay to go with that God-awful shirt?” Caroline said.
“Or how about some oats to go with that belt buckle the size of a dinner plate,” Rafferty added.
“Or how about . . .” Caroline started.
“Hey, that’s enough. I get it,” Gigi said, pouting.
“Come on, you guys. Gigi is doing a good thing here, and I think we should encourage her. But we do need to get her a new outfit,” Megan said diplomatically. She then burst into a fit of laughter.
“See, you’re just as bad,” Rafferty said. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her T-shirt.
“Gigi, I’ve got a whole closet full of really nice business suits. We’re about the same size. Let’s go find you something appropriate to wear. Okay?” Megan said.
“Thanks. I do think the belt buckle is a little over the top.”
“Just a bit.”
Megan dug around in her closet while Gigi disrobed.
“Megan? I’m really scared. I don’t think I’m up to this even if God does. This talk is supposed to be a practice session for the book tour, a promotion thing.”
Megan emerged from the depths of the closet with a set of matching shoes for the tailored black suit and gray shirt. Gigi suddenly looked small and vulnerable. “Gigi, it’ll be fine. The first time I went to court I was scared shitless, but you get used to it and then it becomes fun. Here, try this on.”
After she finished dressing they inspected her in the long bathroom mirror.
“See, that’s better. You look like a professional.” Megan straightened out Gigi’s collar.
“Megan, do you think Rafferty will teach me how to ride a horse?”
“Of course, but you have to promise me something.” Megan handed Gigi the shoes.
“What?” Gigi asked, sitting on the corner of the bed. The shoes fit.
“No more shopping for Western wear unsupervised. I’ll go with you next time.”
“It’s a deal.”
*
God and Gigi were standing on the hill that overlooked the ranch. They had just finished painting all the outbuildings a light brown adobe color so they matched the big rambling house that Gigi shared with Rafferty, Megan and Caroline. The roofs had been redone in a sage green metal, and all the fencing that lined the long driveway had been painted white. It all looked like something out of Dallas.
“My goodness, this place looks stunning,” God said.
“You really like it. It’s taken us nearly two months and a dozen contractors later,” Gigi replied. She picked a piece of grass and stuck it in her mouth.
God smiled at her. “That hat suits you,” she said, indicating
Gigi’s straw cowboy hat.
“Megan bought it for me because she says I have poor taste in clothes.”
“And she’s right. She showed me that Howdy Doody outfit you almost wore to your first talk. I was mortified.”
“And then you laughed hysterically.”
“I almost had a seizure.”
“Very funny.”
“No, really, I stopped by to tell you that I’m proud of you, all of you, for making this dream of mine come to fruition.”
“Does this mean you’re leaving us?” Gigi asked. She had known this day would come and there had been times when she had wanted it but now, now she was used to having God around. She wasn’t sure she wanted her to leave.
“Not exactly. I still have some things I want to do and I kind of like it here. You might want to keep one of those guest rooms handy in case I need a vacation. Besides, the book comes out in a week and I want a signed copy.”
“Sure. But don’t you think you should be the one signing it?”
“What? And get crucified?”
They both laughed.
“All right, my little cowgirl, I’ve got to go. You be good.”
“I’ll try.”
“Oh, by the way, I left you some notes for your next book on your desk.” God stuck her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels.
Gigi pulled her hat down lower on her head and groaned. “It’ll be fine.”
“It makes me nervous when you say that,” Gigi said.
“And that’s how I like to keep you. So hasta luego, and behave yourself.”
“I will. I mean I’ll try.”
“I know you will.” God touched her hand and smiled.
God disappeared and left Gigi alone on the hilltop. The sun was beginning to set and everything glowed in that soft pink light that always made her wonder if God had a watercolor paintbrush that she used at the end of the day to make everything seem better. She smiled. When this whole thing started she couldn’t believe it and now that it was over she still couldn’t believe it. Maybe the best things in life are the hardest to make yourself believe in, Gigi thought, like dreams. But sometimes they did come true, perhaps in the presence of a God that never gave up. She walked down the hill toward the house to be with her friends and to enjoy her new life.
About the Author
Saxon Bennett lives in the East Mountains of New Mexico with her partner of sixteen years and their four furry children, two cats and two dogs. She is an avid snowboarder and resigns herself to gardening in the summer, which affords sensory pleasures but lacks the dopamine rush. We all have to make sacrifices.
Publications from
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Bella Books, Inc.
The best in contemporary lesbian fiction
P.O. Box 10543, Tallahassee, FL 32302
Phone: 800-729-4992
www.bellabooks.com
TALK OF THE TOWN TOO by Saxon Bennett. 181 pp. Second in the series about wild and fun loving friends.
LOVE SPEAKS HER NAME by Laura DeHart Young. 170 pp. Love and friendship, desire and intrigue, spark this exciting sequel to Forever and the Night.
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD by Peggy J. Herring. 184 pp. By finally letting down her defenses, will Dorian be opening herself to a devastating betrayal?
WILD THINGS by Karin Kallmaker. 228 pp. Dutiful daughter Faith has met the perfect man. There’s just one problem: she’s in love with his sister.
SHARED WINDS by Kenna White. 216 pp. Can Emma rebuild more than just Lanny's marina?
THE UNKNOWN MILE by Jaime Clevenger. 253 pp. Kelly’s world is getting more and more complicated every moment.
TREASURED PAST by Linda Hill. 189 pp. A shared passion for antiques leads to love.
SIERRA CITY by Gerri Hill. 284 pp. Chris and Jesse cannot deny their growing attraction
ALL THE WRONG PLACES by Karin Kallmaker. 174 pp. Sex and the single girl—Brandy is looking for love and usually she finds it. Karin Kallmaker’s first After Dark erotic novel.
WHEN THE CORPSE LIES A Motor City Thriller by Therese Szymanski. 328 pp. Butch bad-girl Brett Higgins is used to waking up next to beautiful women she hardly knows. Problem is, this one’s dead
GUARDED HEARTS by Hannah Rickard. 240 pp. Someone’s reminding Alyssa about her secret past, and then she becomes the suspect in a series of burglaries.
ONCE MORE WITH FEELING by Peggy J. Herring. 184 pp. Lighthearted, loving, romantic adventure. ISBN
Talk of the Town Too Page 17
