Arrow nosed through the gate the second the doors were wide enough for the Camaro, then pressed the gas to put as much distance as possible between us and the crowd. I breathed a sigh of relief as I watched the gate close and the reporters shrink farther away.
The huge white house came into view. Joey’s yellow skyline was parked right up near the front door. She was pacing on the front steps. When she saw us, she jogged down and stood by her car, waiting anxiously.
Arrow stopped the car behind hers and threw it into park. When he turned toward me, I felt his probing stare. He was worried. I kinda was, too.
This news wasn’t anything that would threaten what we had, but it wasn’t going to make anything easier. Asking him to marry me seemed harder now. It wasn’t just me he would be tying himself to, but the chaos my old identity brought.
Before we could say anything, my door was wrenched open and Joey’s wild mane of dark curls filled the doorway.
“Jay,” she fretted. “Are you okay?”
She was one of the only ones who sometimes called me Jay. Everyone else called me Hopper. I didn’t feel like Jayson anymore, even though it was still my legal name.
A new vibe flowed off Arrow and smacked me in the back of the head. I began turning, but Joey grabbed my hand and tugged me out of the car.
In the driveway, she wrapped her arms around me in a full hug. I hugged her back, closing my eyes briefly. “I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“It was bound to happen,” I murmured against her hair.
She hugged me a little tighter. My eyes snapped up to A, who moved around the front of the car, watching us with a closed-off expression. My stomach sank a little. I didn’t like that look.
Clearing my throat, I pulled away, smiling down at Joey. “Gamble here?”
She made a sound. “Of course. He’s waiting inside, yelling at someone on the phone.”
“Josie,” Lorhaven said gruffly.
Her eyes warmed and lips curled up. I stepped out of the way so she could move toward him. He yanked her into his chest, arms closing around her like a vise. “The press give you any trouble?”
She shook her head and burrowed a little closer.
I took a step away from them and toward Arrow.
Lorhaven cleared his throat. “C’mon, Josie, let’s head in.”
They walked past, but Lor stopped to look between me and A. “You guys cool?”
“Yeah, we’ll be right in.” Arrow dismissed him.
The second the front door shut behind them, we met at the corner of the front end of the Camaro.
“Don’t,” he said when I opened my mouth.
I lifted a brow. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t try and tell me you’re fine. I know better.”
Palming the side of his waist, I smiled. “Wasn’t going to.”
His dark eyes searched, bouncing between mine. “Good, ‘cause we aren’t about that, Hopp. We don’t pretend.”
I let out a long sigh, shifting so we touched. My hand curled around his side to his back, tugging him right into my body.
“I’m transparent with you, babe. See-through. I don’t want you freaking out, though, thinking this is going to somehow change us. It won’t. I love you. The feeding frenzy of the media isn’t going to change that.”
Between our bodies, he raised his hand. Gently, his thumb glided across my lower lip. “I hate when she calls you Jay.” I loved the growly, jealous tone his voice suddenly held.
He is totally jealous. Stifling a smile, I tilted my head. “You wanna call me that?”
“Honestly? I thought about it. Jayson is a sexy-as-fuck name.”
I wagged my eyebrows. He’d never told me he thought so.
His chuckle filled my mouth when he leaned in for a fast kiss.
“But?” I asked as he was pulling away.
“Matt called you Jay, didn’t he?”
My chest took a hit, like a fist pummeling me. Sometimes I thought I could still recall the sound of Matt’s voice when he’d yell my name. And sometimes I wondered if it was really his voice I remembered or a version I’d fabricated because it was too painful to admit I’d forgotten.
Gazing downward, I nodded. “Yeah, he did.”
“I think I’ll stick with Hopp. It’s who you are now, who you are to me.”
I nodded, unsure what to say. I wanted desperately to tell him he could call me whatever the hell he wanted. Whatever I am was his. But I wondered if it would somehow take away from what I’d shared with Matt.
Sometimes I still felt I was caught in the middle, even though I’d already firmly decided with my heart and head it was Arrow’s side I was on.
“You’re the only one I’ve ever called babe,” I murmured, lifting my head.
“That makes me kinda happy,” he confided.
I grabbed his hand, knotting ours together.
“It’s gonna get harder when we go inside,” Arrow said. “When we see some of the stuff being vomited by the media.”
“We’re gonna have to lie low for a while.” I agreed.
“Long as we’re together, it won’t matter.”
“I’m keeping you right here with me.” I vowed, tugging him toward the house.
“You’re my favorite place, Hopp,” he whispered, almost as if he didn’t want me to hear.
The vulnerability Arrow sometimes showed was something that always hit me hard and fast. It endeared him to me, made me want to shield him from everything.
My feet bumped his when I turned, curling my fingers around the nape of his neck. Lowering my forehead to his, I stared deep into his chocolate eyes. “You’re my favorite place, too, babe.”
His eyes closed.
Lifting my head, I brushed a slow kiss over his forehead, then started for the house again. I couldn’t put this off forever. The sooner I dealt with the past, the sooner I could get on with my future.
I’d never been the jealous type. I guess because I never really cared enough about anything to be bothered. I learned a long time ago I didn’t need much to survive.
I needed Hopper, though, and frankly, the longer I was with him, the more possessive I became. He was mine, dammit. Everyone needed to fucking recognize.
The sound of a television reached us before we even stepped into Gamble’s large study. It was the news, or the sports channel, and they were talking about Hopper.
Everyone’s attention was on the large flat-screen across the room, exactly where Hopper’s went, too. We were hand in hand, but he stopped abruptly, which almost tore our fingers apart. Swiveling around to look at him, I tightened my grip.
His body was rigid, skin scary pale. The icy tone of his eyes was bleak and fastened on the TV like nothing could drag it away.
I wanted him here with me.
Following his suddenly haunted stare, I glanced at the screen. My stomach clenched so tight it made me want to double over, but I held stiff.
A picture of Matt filled the screen as the reporter went on and on. I didn’t hear what she said because of the low buzzing between my ears. I’d never seen a picture of him until this moment. It crossed my mind a time or two to look him up online, but I never followed through.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to see who had Hopp’s heart before me. What if I couldn’t compete?
The choice was out of my hands as of this moment. The image on screen would be one I wouldn’t forget. I knew it was him; the look on Hopper’s face told me. Even if I hadn’t understood, I wouldn’t be able to miss the headline across the screen.
He was good looking. No, better than good looking. He was bigger than me, about the same size as Hopper, with the same wide shoulders and narrow waist. The short hair on his head was dark and thick, cut close so it was never messy. In the picture, he was smiling bigger than my lips probably could stretch.
I could tell just from one look he was the kind of guy everyone liked. He’d been open, outgoing, and probably the life of the party.
From what I
knew, he was also pretty selfless, at least when it came to Hopper. He’d basically helped Hopp build his career, putting his own in standby.
He had blue eyes, bright sky-blue ones. Kind of like Drew’s. There wasn’t a single cloud in them, as if he never knew what it was to be broken into a million tiny pieces.
A pit opened in my stomach. It was like a sudden sinkhole that erupted into a rumbly mess and began trying to suck me down. I resisted, but it was hard. It hurt. I felt like I’d eaten a plate of bad fish, spent four days puking, and was left in that weak, empty state where it hurt to even breathe.
How long was the stupid screen going to show his picture? When would they move on to something else?
As if the universe heard my plea, the giant image of Matt faded out.
Only to be replaced by another one that was much, much worse.
An image of Hopper and Matt together.
I swallowed down the rising bile but was unable to turn away. He looked different as Jayson. Leaner, younger. His face was clean shaven; there was no rough stubble giving him a more jagged appearance. The messy hair that sometimes curled up against his neck was super short, buzzed even. In the photo, his smile was more carefree than I’d ever known him to be.
It hurt.
It hurt a whole fucking lot.
Their arms were around one another.
Don’t touch him. He’s mine.
He was someone else’s first.
I didn’t hear what the reporter was saying. I didn’t notice anything else going on around me at all. I was trapped, held prisoner by an image I never wanted to see again.
Thankfully, a large wall came forward and blocked out the TV. I blinked, looking up. Jace was staring at me with a concerned expression. He stood close, so close I could smell his aftershave. It was a nice scent; I should get some.
“Here.” His voice was guff as he thrust a crystal glass of dark liquid toward me.
Good idea.
I took it and knocked it back in one swallow.
He observed me, slightly amused, until I grabbed the other drink in his hand, the one that was likely his.
I downed that one, too.
Jace snatched the glass away, held both at his side, and slapped his large hand over my shoulder and squeezed. “Look at me, little brother.”
Narrowing my eyes, I stared at him. I hated when he called me that, which was likely why he did it. He knew it would get my attention.
“It’s tough. I get it,” he murmured.
I shook my head. He didn’t get this.
His fingers squeezed me a little harder. “I know for a fact he loves you.”
“He loved someone else first,” I whispered.
Jace strained to hear, but when he did, his head jerked back. “Don’t matter. You more.”
He spoke so confidently. I knew my brother. I knew him very, very well. He wasn’t lying. He truly believed Hopper loved me more than Matt.
How could he be so sure?
My heart wanted desperately to believe it. My head wasn’t as quick to follow.
Did it really matter? He loved me now. We were together now.
Oh shit, I wish it didn’t matter.
Somewhere in the room, a phone rang. Gamble made a sound, went to his desk, and picked up the landline. I didn’t even know people used those anymore.
“What!” he barked.
He was silent only a few heartbeats. Then he made a sound as if cutting off whoever was on the other end.
“That’s asinine!” he snapped. “If they want it, then they have to come up. That’s final.”
Lorhaven, who had been watching me up to this point, turned to stare at Gamble.
“And you tell that rag if they print so much as one headline, I will sue the whole company and then buy it out from under them! All the scumbags on staff will be out of a job!” he roared.
The phone slammed down with a finality that practically screamed death.
“Fucking morons,” he muttered.
“Dad!” Joey admonished.
“Don’t dad me,” he muttered. “The press is full of leeches.” Gamble glanced up and saw me. “Oh good, you’re here.”
A small frown pulled at his mouth when his eyes found Hopp. Peeking around Lorhaven, I saw Hopper had moved closer toward the TV and was sitting in a chair adjacent to it, eyes still riveted on the screen.
Holding my breath, I glanced back up, only to be hella relieved Matt no longer dominated the picture.
“Family meeting,” Gamble announced.
I think that was the only thing he could have said in the entire universe to pull my attention off Hopper.
“What?” I said, bewildered, turning around.
“Up until now, we’ve managed to keep Hopper’s life out of the press, but that’s no longer an option.” He stopped, cleared his throat, and looked over to where my boyfriend was staring at the TV like he was lost. Gamble lifted his voice. “Unless, of course, Hopper wants to run and avoid it all again.”
I stiffened. “He’s not going anywhere,” I growled, lunging past my brother toward Gamble’s desk.
Gamble’s face was unreadable when he turned to me. “I’d like to hear that from him personally.”
Dropping my hands onto the edge of his desk, my fingers curled under the edge and squeezed until my joints ached. But I said nothing.
That hole inside me was back, trying to suck me in again. The pain created a hollow iciness in my middle.
Then a warm, sure presence wrapped around me. Sort of like the sun when it comes out from behind a dark storm cloud. With it came touch—a touch I knew so well it was almost an extension of myself.
Hopper’s hand wrapped around my waist and his arm slid forward as he stepped up beside me, pulling me against his side. “I’m not going anywhere, Gamble. I’m sticking this out.”
My breathing hitched and my chest burned. I didn’t say anything, though. Too many emotions and feelings warred inside me.
“I thought as much,” Gamble declared. I felt his eyes but didn’t bother looking up. “Then it’s time for a family meeting.”
“If you wanted to have a family meeting, why did you call me and Arrow down here?” Hopper asked, blunt.
The edges of my mouth turned up, and I bit back a laugh. Hopper tapped the side of my waist like he knew I was amused.
“You two are basically my daughter’s brothers,” Gamble barked. “You’ve been like a son to me for over five years, Jayson. Albeit a son who’s annoying as shit sometimes, but a son no less.” He went on. “You’re family.”
My whole body straightened. I rose to my full height and stared across the desk at Gamble. I knew most of that was directed at Hopper, but not all of it. “You consider us family?”
“Of course he does!” Joey insisted, rushing over to back up her father. “You’re like the three sons he never had!”
“Makes me glad I had a daughter,” Gamble muttered. “You three are pains in my asses!”
Joey giggled gleefully.
“I feel the love,” Lorhaven quipped.
“Enough out of you.” Gamble pointed at him. “You have yet to make an honest woman of my daughter.”
“Dad!” Joey yelled, appalled.
I grinned, glancing over my shoulder. “When you gonna make my sister an honest woman, Jace?”
He gave me the finger. “She’s not your sister. Yet.”
Joey gasped and wrapped her arm around my waist, just above Hopper’s. I was basically a sandwich between them. “Yes, you are! Don’t listen to him. He’s being an ass.”
I leaned closer to her ear. “You guys didn’t get married when I wasn’t looking, did you?”
“No.” She moaned, totally exasperated.
“Enough nonsense. We have things to discuss.” Gamble insisted.
His phone rang, and he snatched it up. “I’m busy,” he exacted and put it back down.
Hopper and I glanced at one another. He snickered out of the side of his mout
h. My heart clenched. I couldn’t live without him. I just couldn’t.
“Sit down,” Gamble ordered.
Everyone found a seat.
I thought longingly of Hopp’s lap but figured that would make me look like a clingy bastard. I wasn’t clingy or needy. I spent a long time on my own. I knew I could survive alone…
Okay, fine, I needed Hopp. But I couldn’t just go plop down in his lap, not right now. Instead, I sat in the chair beside him. His gaze beckoned me, but I didn’t look. I was afraid he’d see the stupid vulnerability I felt.
He didn’t need to see it.
He already knew it.
I should have fucking known. Sometimes the way we’d bonded was annoying because even when we wanted to keep something to ourselves, it was nearly impossible.
Reaching over, Hopper took my hand and pulled it to him. It wasn’t done with a lot of show, as if he were making a statement. It was just a quiet gesture by a man who loved someone and wanted to make sure I knew he was still here with me.
I tightened my fingers around his with an inaudible sigh.
“The story broke out of New York,” Gamble announced. “Some reporter did some digging, found some pictures, put two and two together, and then unearthed the rest.”
“This is because of my cover feature,” I said.
“It was bound to happen at some point.” Hopper assured me.
I wasn’t sure that was true. He’d been doing a damn good job of keeping a low profile before I came around.
“He’s right.” Gamble nodded. “Which is why I’ve had an official statement drafted and prepared for a long time.”
“What?” Hopper sat forward.
Gamble laid his folded hands on the top of his desk. “This is business. I take care of my business.” With that, he produced a piece of paper and held it out to Hopper, who stood to retrieve it.
I stared at him as he swept his eyes over the page. He was dressed in lightweight black pants with a dark-gray stripe down each leg. The material was silky smooth, and I knew my fingertips would glide right over his ass if I grabbed it. The muscles in his bicep bulged slightly as he read, causing the sleeves of his white T-shirt to pull taut.
#FinishLine (GearShark #5) Page 3
