by Orly Konig
Why would he be making plans to redo the kitchen if he’s leaving? He or we? Could it mean he’s changed his mind?
What would this house become if someone else bought it? Would they gut my studio and turn it back into a garage? Would they redo the beautiful new bathroom? What about the dining room that’s too small for a normal-size table? Or the tiny extra bedroom upstairs?
I take the steps two at a time, breathless, my heart pounding with sudden anticipation. I fling the door open, slick anxiety making my hands slip from the knob. What if it’s not there?
It is, of course. The unfinished mural of the merry-go-round waits for me to put it back in motion. Would new owners paint over my heart? I can’t let that happen.
The snow globe sits idle on the bookshelf next to the stuffed dog. I shake the glass orb and the miniature carousel disappears in a blizzard. And then, like magic, reappears.
There’s a scratching of nails on the hardwood and Fred barrels up the stairs, beating Vale in a final sprint into the room. The puppy flops on his side with a grunt, then rolls onto his back, his baby belly round and inviting.
Vale doubles over at the door, hands on his knees. “I’m not sure which one of us got the harder workout.”
I rub Fred’s belly while he squirms with happiness. “Did you wear Daddy out?”
“Yes, he did. I’m amazed at the speed he can whip up with those tiny legs.” Fred’s tongue hangs from the side of his mouth while his four paws stick straight up in the air.
Vale takes a couple of steps into the room. “What are you doing in here? Oh, wow, a snow globe. I used to love these as a kid. Where did you get it?” He reaches for the orb in my hands.
“Grandma bought it for the baby. Mom thought I was ready to have it.”
He pauses in midshake and looks from the snow globe to me. “How do you feel about that?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“Are you going to keep it in your studio? Or in here?” He gives it a shake and we watch as the fluffy white flakes dance around the miniature merry-go-round before settling into the base.
In your studio or in here?
“Vale, why the plans for the kitchen?”
“What?” He hands me the globe, his forehead seamed in thought.
“The plans on the table downstairs. Why were you drawing a new kitchen design?”
“You hate that kitchen.”
“So do you. But in three days, you’re due in Seattle.”
“You said ‘you’re due,’ Does that mean you’ve decided not to go?”
“I was going to ask you the same after seeing the kitchen design.”
He takes a long breath before responding. “I have to go, Maya.”
“I know.” I shake the globe, and we both watch as the fake white flakes swirl and twirl and finally settle. And as the miniature merry-go-round emerges from the blizzard, so does my decision. “I need to go somewhere, Vale. I’d like you to come with me.” I stand and reach a hand to my husband. “No questions though. Not yet. Okay?”
He nods and follows me out of the house, to our car. I get into the driver’s seat and tuck the snow globe in my lap.
Neither of us speaks during the short drive. I ease the car through the large gates of the cemetery and stop at the first fork. Vale covers my hand on the stick shift with his hand and together we shift from first to second. With a deep breath to steady my nerves, I turn the car left.
I park and together we walk the short distance. It’s a large headstone for such a small occupant. There’s a name etched into the stone and painted in black: Jonathan William Brice. Jonathan William. Too long for someone that tiny. Would we have called him John? Johnny? Maybe Will or Willy. My heart catches at the date.
“What are we doing?” Vale folds to sit on the ground next to me.
“This belongs to him.” I give the globe a shake and set it on the base. And as before, the emergence of the miniature merry-go-round through the white flakes settles the unsettled emotions that have been swirling inside me.
“I can’t move to Seattle, Vale. I can’t leave him and Grandma. Or Hank and the carousel. But I also realize you can’t stay, at least not the way things have been.”
“That doesn’t sound very encouraging.” He doesn’t look at me, and I can’t make myself turn to look at him.
“Before he died, Hank helped me realize that I can’t carry the burden of their deaths or lose myself in the guilt. And he made me pinky promise that I’d start taking steps forward. As of yesterday, I’m unemployed.” I catch a quirk in Vale’s mouth, a hint of a smile. “Assuming you’ll have me, I’d like to come to Seattle on a sabbatical of sorts.”
Vale’s hint of a smile broadens.
“I don’t want to sell the cottage. I don’t want to pack everything up. I just want to come and see what can be. Fair?”
“Fair.” Vale takes my hand and together we sit, listening to the birds and the wind and the waves in the distance. In my soul, I feel the movement of the merry-go-round, and in my brain, I hear its happiness.
I graze the headstone with the tips of my fingers. “Tomorrow I’m going to ask them to carve a carousel into the stone and secure the globe to the base.”
Knowing my baby will be protected by the magic of the carousel gives me peace. And knowing the magic of the carousel will forever be with me, gives me hope.
Readers Guide Questions for Carousel Beach
1. Maya has a complicated relationship with her mother, Claire, who had a difficult relationship with her mother as well. During a dinner at her brother’s house, Maya observes her sister-in-law and niece and wonders if all mother-daughter relationships are doomed. What would you tell Maya? Do you believe that familial relationships are predestined? Do you think they can change over time?
2. Maya and Vale’s marriage is on rocky footing after the difficult year they’ve had and Maya pulling away from everyone. Do you believe it’s possible for a relationship to recover once a divide cracks between the two people?
3. Secrets weigh heavily on Maya and her family. The secrets her grandmother kept, the ones she’s hiding and hiding from. Do you think some secrets are valid? What would be a situation when you would reveal a secret even if it could hurt the people you care about?
4. Based on Maya’s miscarriage, Sam is reluctant to confide in her best friend about her own pregnancy. When she does finally spill, Maya wants to be happy and supportive but her grief gets in the way. Have you ever experienced a situation when you desperately wanted to be happy for a friend but grief or jealousy or any number of other emotions stood in the way? How did you handle that?
5. With Simon back in the picture and the revelation that Meera and Hank reignited a relationship of some kind, Maya begins to question her choices and entertain the possibility of second chances. Would you or have you reunited with a first/previous love or do you, like Vale, believe that we make decisions for a reason and shouldn’t look back?
6. Navigating the slippery memory path of someone with Alzheimer’s is difficult and emotional. Maya plays along with Hank’s memory lapses as much as she’s comfortable doing. Have you been in a situation where you were mistaken for someone else and felt you didn’t have a choice but to follow along? How did it make you feel? How did you respond without feeling like you were being dishonest?
7. When Vale accepts a new position and wants Maya to move with him, she panics, believing that if she’s not there to keep vigil over the graves of her grandmother and baby, she’ll somehow lose them a second time. Do you think that you have to be physically close in order to keep the memory of a loved one alive?
8. Maya tries to convince Vale that adopting a puppy will ease the loss and give her a chance to prove that she could be a good mother after all. Does taking care of a pet prepare you for taking care of a baby? Is that a fair request from her?
9. Claire withheld letters that Simon sent to Maya when they were young and after she bro
ke up him. Was Claire right to keep them from her daughter? Why or why not?
10. For Maya, the carousel holds many dear memories. Growing up, it was her happy place, the place where anything and everything felt possible. Do you have a place that felt (feels) like a magic cocoon that’s only yours?
Books by Orly Konig
The Distance Home
About the Author
After years in the corporate world, ORLY KONIG took a leap into the creative world of fiction. She is the founding president of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association and an active member of the Writers in the Storm blog. She lives in Maryland with her family. Carousel Beach is her second novel.
Visit her at www.facebook.com/OrlyKonigAuthor/, on Twitter at @OrlyKonig, and at www.goodreads.com/user/show/7819222-orly-konig. Sign up for email updates here.
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This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
CAROUSEL BEACH
Copyright © 2018 by Orly Konig-Lopez
All rights reserved.
Cover photographs: carousel © Daniel Leppens / Shutterstock.com; beach © Olaf Speier / Shutterstock.com; dunes © Alex Ruhl / Shutterstock.com
A Forge Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates
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Forge® is a registered trademark of Macmillan Publishing Group, LLC.
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-0-7653-9881-9 (trade paperback)
ISBN 978-0-7653-9879-6 (ebook)
eISBN 9780765398796
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First Edition: May 2018
Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-nine
Chapter Forty
Readers Guide Questions for Carousel Beach
Books by Orly Konig
About the Author
Copyright
