by Brenda Ford
“Well now it is!” What an idiot, what am I playing at? “Forget I said anything. Let’s just… I’m going home with that woman. The one over there who’s just basically asked me to have sex with her.”
“No, Brad, you’re not. You don’t want to go home with her. You want something more, something deeper. I can see it in your eyes. We both know it.”
Damn it, he does know me really well. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m changing. I just hope that it’s for the best…
Chapter Two – Angelo
“Good morning, Angelo,” Tami says brightly as she steps into my office with her usual skip in her step.
She’s the one person who’s always excited to get to work no matter what. She loves it here at the Smith marketing firm, she’s almost as passionate about it as Brad… which is why I believe that he should give her a chance. I know that he’ll struggle, mostly because she’s over a decade younger than him, but I think they have more in common than he knows.
I worry about Brad, a lot. He’s given up so much of himself to replace our parents, to be there for us and the company too. He wants to be everything for everyone, but he’s missing out on being a person himself.
Our other brothers don’t see it as much as I do, they aren’t around him as much as me, but that guy needs someone. He needs something more than meaningless sex to keep him on the straight and narrow. To make his life complete. While outwardly, Tami doesn’t seem like she could be that girl because of her age, I’m sure she could. I’m certain that she will be everything he needs. That’s why today is the day I put my plan into action.
“Hey, Tami… did you have a good weekend?”
“Oh yeah, I had a great time. I caught up with some of my old college friends. I haven’t seen them in the six months since we all left.”
God, she really is young, but I don’t doubt my gut feeling.
“Well, that’s good to hear. I hope that you’re all refreshed and ready for the day because I actually have an idea.”
“I thought you might.” She nods determinedly. “What do you need me to do?”
“Well, normally, you’re my assistant, but today I want you to work with my brother…”
“But Oliver works in the financial sector. I’m not that great with numbers.”
“I don’t mean Oliver.” I pause, knowing that this is going to be a big ask. People think that Brad is moody because… well, that’s how his passion seems sometimes. “I’m talking about Brad.”
I can tell by her face that she’s immediately freaked out by this idea. But Tami is a great worker, very ambitious too, and she will do whatever it takes to make sure she rises to the top.
“Do… do I have to?” She stammers awkwardly. “I don’t think I’m the best person for it.”
“Oh no, Tami Johnson, you are the perfect person for this job,” I do my best to reassure her. “Trust me.”
She’s hesitant as she walks, but thankfully, she comes with me to Brad’s office. I do have to practically shove her through the door to get her inside. One day, these two will thank me for this, however bad it seems now.
“Brad!” I declare with a smiling tone, trying to keep the mood light before it inevitably sinks. “I have someone that I need you to meet.”
“What is it, Angelo? It’s Monday morning, I’m a very busy right now.” Brad spins and his eyes fix on Tami. I watch his face turn from confusion all the way to anger, which doesn’t bode well. “What the hell are you playing at, Angelo? This isn’t what I thought you meant.”
“But Tami is perfect to work as your assistant today.”
I emphasize the word ‘perfect’ to make him recall our conversation from his birthday. He asked me for help. Yes, he was a little drunk at the time, but I could see the genuine need there. He was desperate for me to help me. Well, here I am, doing just that.
“Tami is too young to be perfect,” Brad argues. “So, thank you, but no thank you.”
Fucking hell. Not only does he remember but he’s being incredibly rude about this! If he shuts people down like this all the time, then is it any wonder he’s still single?
“You need to give Tami a chance,” I reply through gritted teeth. “Because she’s very capable. She’s intelligent and very hard working. She will make your day run a whole lot smoother. You might even have things in common if you just talk to her and find out more about her.”
I sounds like I’m a sales man trying to get Brad to buy Tami, which sucks. I can’t even begin to imagine what she thinks about all of this, but I need to get Brad to be brave and give this woman a damn chance.
“Angelo, I think it might be better if I just go back to my desk…” Tami offers, but I shake my head and silence her. Brad’s coming around already, mostly because of the embarrassing situation but that’s okay. It doesn’t matter what causes him to agree as long as he does.
“Look, Brad, just let Tami work with you for a week. Go from there.”
Brad nods sharply, not really giving me anything of a proper answer, but it will do for now. I’m sure that it will only take a bit of time alone for them to see how perfect they really are for one another, even if they seem unlikely at first.
I take a step backwards, exiting the office and leaving them in peace so the magic can begin to work itself out. With a smile, I grab my cell phone out my pocket and I call my twin. He’s always my immediate go to when anything dramatic happens. We’ve always had a bond, I guess because we were in the womb together, but we grew even closer when our parents were killed. We might have only been four at the time, but we seemed to immediately have an understanding that we needed one another more than most children. It wasn’t that we were alone, exactly, it’s impossible to feel alone with five brothers, but what me and Alex have is different. Oliver always calls it a ‘twin thing’.
“Hey, Angelo!” Alex yells over the sound of his band practicing.
I don’t really get the music they do, it certainly isn’t to my taste, it’s too loud and obnoxious, but they’re growing in popularity every single day. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were one of the rare bands that actually made it.
“Hey, Alex, do you have a minute? I just wanted to talk.”
“Er, hold on. Wait a moment. Let me go outside.” As I wait, I take a seat at my desk, still feeling that happy glow from what I might well have just started. “Right, that’s better. What’s going on?”
“I just introduced Brad to Tami.” I tut loudly as I’m greeted with silence. He does know about my plan; I have told him. “You know, the girl I think is perfect for him? Well, I’ve just started the ball rolling.”
“Oh right…” He doesn’t sound as pleased as he should. “You are meddling in his love life now?”
“Well, he isn’t exactly doing a great job of sorting out his own love life, is he?” I laugh loudly. “He needs a push in the right direction.”
“Hmm, if you say so.”
“Why are you being all funny, Alex?” I shoot back, a little irritated now. “This is supposed to be a good thing. We all want Brad to be happy, don’t we? After everything that he has done for us.”
He’s silent for a beat too long which only amps up my irritation. “I want him to be happy too, I just… well, shouldn’t you be worried about your own love life?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Now, I feel like I’m seeing red. Why is Alex delving into my love?
“I mean… well, things between you and Mandy have been… you know, for a while now, and I just think that you should try and focus on her happiness.”
“Me and Mandy are fine. You don’t need to worry about us at all. You know what, get back to your band, Alex. Forget I even said anything.”
I slam my cell phone down on the desk and let out a little yell. I wish I hadn’t called Alex now, I don’t know why I bothered to speak to him about Brad when clearly, he doesn’t give a shit. Then he dares to go in on me and Mandy. We’ve been together forever. Just because things h
ave been a little… stale recently, it doesn’t mean I need his advice. We will get things back on track, it’s just a rough patch. I’m not worried.
Honestly, the better that his band does, the more selfish Alex becomes. I have a horrible feeling that this is going to become an issue at some point.
“Fuck you,” I mutter spitefully as if he can actually hear me. “Fuck you, Alex.”
But he’s got to me. I can’t help it, his words have affected me, so I grab my phone and start to fire off a message to Mandy to arrange to see her, just because I need to prove to myself. I don’t have anything to worry about. It’s stupid and childish, I know it. But I’m caving into Alex’s taunts.
I suppose despite our closeness, there will always be an edge of competitiveness to our relationship. Sometimes, I just allow myself to forget about that.
“What the…?”
Before I even start typing, before I have even worked out exactly what I’m going to say, a text from an unknown number comes in. A statement from a stranger attached to a shadowy picture that makes my blood run cold and my heart stop beating.
“No,” I whisper as I look at it, my head shaking violently as I try to process what I’m staring at right now. “No, no, no…”
This changes everything. Nothing will ever be the same again.
‘Mandy is cheating on you. Here is proof. Just thought you should know’.
Chapter Three – Alex
“I’m an asshole,” I mutter as I hang up the phone, cutting off my twin brother. “Why the fuck did I have to mention Mandy?”
Even her name feels like acid on my tongue. It’s painful to speak because of the agonizing truth that he doesn’t yet know. The complicated truth about me and Mandy.
I saw her first. That’s always the defense I give myself when the guilt gets too much. I saw her first at that frat party and I kissed her first as well. Of course, I didn’t know how strong my feelings were going to be then, she was just another girl in the long list of people I have kissed, but now I know the truth to how I really feel about her. I know what a mistake I made by walking away from that kiss and never looking back.
I can have any woman I want. My band isn’t even that famous yet and I have girls throwing themselves at me all the time, especially after gigs, but none of them have ever meant anything to me as much as Mandy Anderson. None of them ever will.
The one fucking woman I can’t ever have.
After that first kiss, I didn’t see her for a few months. I continued on with my life and obviously she did too because the next time I saw her she was on the arm of my twin brother, looking like the cat who had the cream. I don’t even know if she recognized me at first. She was so into Angelo.
I never mentioned the kiss and I don’t think she did either, I was prepared to forget all about it since it didn’t mean a damn thing, but then something terrible happened. The more time we spent in one another’s company, the more the sexual chemistry between us grew. I was sure that Angelo had to feel the tension in the air, it was absolutely palpable, but he’s never said a thing.
I would never do anything to hurt any of my brothers, I’m not that sort of a person, but there’s something powerful about lust. It’s made me crazy, wild, basically an animal. I was like a drug addict; I needed a hit. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t do anything aside from think about her. Angelo didn’t even feature. I was completely consumed by Mandy, and it made me lean in that night to share our first kiss as my twin passed out drunk on the couch. Much as I hate myself for that, I torture myself over it every single day, I know it would have happened eventually. There was no way we could fight the magnetic pull between us forever.
It isn’t lust anymore, it’s love. I’m fully head over heels in love with the one woman that I cannot have, and it’s killing me every single day.
‘Mandy, we need to talk,’ I fire off a text to her in the heat of the moment. I need to do this now. ‘Are you free?’
I know the band will be pissed off with me if I leave practice early, but my head won’t be in it now. I need to have my creative spirit flowing freely if I want to be the best front man I can be. Recently, this distraction with Mandy has been affecting me badly, it’s really starting to damage my career. I need to put an end to things before it all really explodes. The trail of destruction this will eventually leave behind is catastrophic. I need to stop this before it gets to that point.
‘Sure,’ she texts back right away as if she was waiting for me. ‘Usual place?’
“Just ignore the way she makes you feel,” I tell myself quietly as I agree to the place. “Don’t think about that. Think about Angelo instead.”
Her tight lips wrap around my cock and she drags them up and down, circling her tongue over my length in the expert way that only Mandy knows how to do. I toss my head back in ecstasy, needing that release to come. This woman knows how to work my body like a machine and that’s why I keep coming back over and over again.
I was supposed to break things off. That’s what I started saying. I told her to focus on my brother instead, to make things right between them. How the fuck did we end up here again? And why the hell can’t I stop?
My fingers knot up in her mane of flame red hair. Instead of pulling her away like I know I should do, I tug her towards me, plunging into the back of her throat. The wet heat of her mouth drives me crazy, my heart pounds so hard against my rib cage that I fear it might break free, I can hardly get enough air into my desperately ragged lungs. I’m a fucking mess.
“I… I love you,” I murmur as she focuses on my tip. “I fucking love you, Mandy.”
She always tells me that she loves me too, when her mouth isn’t full like this, but I’m sure it can’t be the truth. If so, she wouldn’t be with Angelo anymore. She wouldn’t want to keep stringing us along. But there’s always an excuse, and because I’m a sucker, I fall for it. Every single time.
“Fuck, Mandy.” Her fingers graze along my balls, making me shudder. “Fucking hell, you have no idea what you do to me.”
This shitty old warehouse isn’t the sort of place you have sex with the woman you love. Only if you have no choice. It’s fucking pathetic.
“Mandy, shit!” I cry out far too loudly. We’re supposed to be discrete. Anyone could hear us. “Fuck, I’m getting close, I’m getting…”
She yanks her head away and smiles up at me, those beautiful green eyes of hers glittering in the sunlight. I tuck my hands under her arm pits and crash my lips to hers, tasting myself all over her as I kiss her deeply, passionately. I don’t take my mouth off from hers as I spin her around and slam her against the brick wall.
“Oh, fuck me,” she moans as I hitch up her skirt. Mandy always wears easy access clothing for our liaisons, so we don’t have any awkwardness. “I want you inside me, Alex. Now, you sexy fuck.”
I don’t need to be asked twice, not when I’m in such a dizzy mess, so I use one hand to tug her silky panties to one side and one to angle my length into her. It doesn’t matter how wrong this is now, how taboo our affair is. I want her so badly that nothing could stop me.
“Oh, wow,” I groan as I thrust into her, her tight wet pussy surrounding me. “Fucking hell, Mandy. I want you, every single day.”
She wraps her legs tightly around me, dragging me in deeper. I hold her weight easily, leaning her against the wall, and I fuck my stress away. The knowledge that I’m a fuck up vanishes, the mess of my life disappears, the idea that this can’t possibly have a happy ever after ending goes. Instead, I give myself over to the wonderful feeling of being with the woman that I love.
“Who else have you fucked this week?” she gasps, her head lolling to the side and her eyes falling closed. “How many groupies?”
“None,” I tell her honestly. “You know there isn’t anyone for me but you.”
“No, I don’t want to hear that. I want to hear that you have been a bad boy.”
She does this sometimes, plays little games tha
t I don’t quite understand, but I always go along with it to make her happy. I’m the powerful, wild rock star on stage, but with Mandy I’m a fucking puppy dog. I really do hate myself for it.
“I fucked a blonde back stage at our gig at the weekend. She was sexy as fuck. Keen too. Willing to do anything, even let me put it in her ass.” Mandy moaned like this was making it even hotter for her. “Then, I had a threesome on Monday night. Two… two girls in a bar who recognized me.”
“Shit, you really are a naughty boy, aren’t you?”
“I also slept with a cougar last week. She was… was…” I can’t keep coming up with these bullshit lies. I’m about to lose my damn mind and I want to concentrate only on the woman that I’m with right now. The person who I love and can only have rare snatched moments with. I don’t want that taken away.
Instead, I kiss Mandy’s neck, inhaling her beautiful scent, savoring every second of this moment for the time that I’m alone and she’s playing happy families with my brother.
As I explode inside of her, everything is perfect. For a brief moment, everything seems to be right. I know that I’m right with the person I need to be with… but as time passes and we straighten ourselves out alone in this quite and disgusting place, I know this can’t go any other way other than hell.
“Mandy…” I start, ready to have the exact same conversation that we tried to have earlier again, but she holds up a finger to silence me as she looks at her cell phone. “Can’t that wait? I really think we need to talk.”
“Fuck,” she spits out angrily. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“What’s going on? Is it more important than the chat we need to have right now? Because I think there’s a lot to say…”
“Yes, this is more God damn important.” Her eyes are wild as she stares at me. “Angelo knows, Alex. Someone told him. We are fucked.”
