by Lola StVil
“DON’T YOU EVER SAY THAT SHIT TO ME!” he rages as he slams his fists on my dresser and splits it in two.
Shocked by his action, I am rendered still and for a moment neither of us say anything. Our silence is layered with tension and mutual frustration. When Aaden speaks again, his voice is low and thick with emotion.
“You can accuse me of a lot of this, but…you really think I don’t have your back? Pryor, I belong to you. Before I am the second in command, before I am an angel or a demon, I belong to you. For you to stand there and say…” He gasps, dumbfounded, and heads for the door.
“Look, I know you’re mad, but don’t go,” I whisper.
“It’s not just me, Pry. The whole team is angry with you. You made Swoop come in the house.”
“It’s getting dark.”
“It’s not even 6:30 yet.”
“Well, it gets dark early this time of year,” I remind him.
“Pryor, c’mon.”
“What? Am I wrong for wanting to make sure everyone is accounted for?”
“You can’t keep them under lock and key. You know that.”
“Okay, so you hate the way I’m managing my team. I got it.”
“They aren’t just your team members. They are your friends and you’re being really insane right now.”
“What did I do that was so bad?”
“For one thing, Randy has been trying to get in touch with you for hours. He finally called me and asked if you were still aboard the crazy train,” Aaden says.
“Really? So you two talk about me behind my back?”
“Pry, you know it’s not like that.”
“Then what is it, Aaden?”
“You were really hard on them, Pry; especially Bex. He was trying to help you,” he points out.
“And?”
“And he was trying to save you; we all were.”
“Giving control of an entire kingdom to that asshole was a stupid move. He needed to know that,” I inform him.
“Well, now he does.”
“Good. What else?”
“It’s time for you to take your mixture,” he replies.
“No. I don’t need it. I’m fine.”
“Pryor, you are not fine.”
“I’m not having this argument with you. I’m not taking the fucking mixture! Now, what else?”
“You need to go see Randy.”
“No,” I reply shortly.
“Why?”
“Because I have business to take care of and I don’t have time to watch Star Trek for the hundredth time.”
“Okay, what about Star Wars?”
“This is a joke to you?” I rage.
He sighs heavily and studies me.
“Pryor, you can’t go on like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like everything is okay. It’s not. Given what Malakaro said to you…it’s okay that you feel the way you feel. You can say it out loud.”
“There’s nothing I need to say.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” he pushes.
“The only thing I know is that you mismanaged my damn team. They should have gotten to the center much earlier but you allowed them to get distracted. Key became a junkie on her way to being a full-blown Tic. Bex gives his damn kingdom away. Randy gets mutilated and Swoop is almost killed. You ran my team into the damn ground. Now I am back and you will do whatever I say. And right now that means getting the fuck out of my face,” I yell as I turn away from him.
“No.”
“Aaden, get out.”
“You think acting like a jerk is going to push me away? Well it’s not. You can do or say whatever you want, but it won’t matter because I’m going to help you through this, like it or not,” he demands.
“I don’t need your help. Just leave me alone!” I bark.
“I know exactly what you’re doing. You’re trying to push us all away so that you won’t get any of us killed. But it’s too late, Pry, we already love you. And we will stand with you no matter what. Pry, let me help you.”
“No! You can’t help me. You left me to Malakaro. You let him put his filthy hands on my face and I hate you,” I snap.
I can see him wincing as my words pierce his armor. I know my words hurt him and that’s exactly what I want. I want him to get pissed off and storm away. I want to be by myself. That way there will be no one for my brother to murder just to get to me. But instead of giving up, he locks the door and stands before me, unwilling to follow my orders.
“The first step is admitting what you have yet to admit since you’ve been back,” he says.
“I don’t have anything to admit. Now get the hell out of my room.”
“No, I’m not leaving until you say it. When I left The Center I tried everything to avoid having to say how I felt out loud. I found a million ways to try and run from it. But when I finally spoke the words out loud, it set me free. It let me know that what I felt was normal. Please, Pry, say it.”
“I’m not playing with you; get out,” I warn him.
“Saying it doesn’t make you less of an angel or less of a Noru. And it certainly doesn’t make you less of a leader. Pry, we will not think less of you. Say it!”
“NO!” I vow.
“I’m not leaving this room until you say it.”
“Aaden, I swear to Omnis I will kill you,” I reply, shaking my head furiously.
“Fine, that’s what you’re gonna have to do because I’m not leaving.”
Enraged, I shove him repeatedly, but he won’t leave. I try to use my powers but nothing happens. I am too out of control to tap into them. So I pound my fist against him over and over again.
“I’m not leaving; you have to say it!” He swears.
“Get out!!!!” I roar.
“Say it!”
I turn my room upside down and hurl everything that’s not nailed down at him. He doesn’t fight me, he just blocks my blows and he keeps trying to hug me. I am engulfed with anger, so much anger I break the mirror, grab a sharp fragment from it, and slice into his chest.
The glass also cuts into my hand but I don’t care. The wrath I feel is too much. It’s more than me; so much more than me. My legs won’t hold me anymore. I slam myself against the wall and slide down to the ground. I hate myself for not being stronger. I hate myself for not keeping the pain at bay. And each teardrop that escapes my eyes adds to my self-loathing.
How could I be so damn weak? How could I let him control me like this? What kind of leader am I? How could I be so pathetic? How could I let him break me?
I slam myself into the wall and slink down to the floor. The weight of the past few days finally comes down on me. I rake my fingers through my hair and try to pull my hair out from its roots. I’d rather feel that pain than the pain that is about to descend on me.
“Pry, stop,” he says, removing my fingers from my scalp.
“No…don’t make me say it. I don’t wanna say it,” I beg.
“It’s okay; say it.”
“No, I can’t. I’m supposed to be…I have to be…strong.” I sob.
“You can do this, baby, please, say it.”
Suddenly there’s no way to avoid the tidal wave that’s coming for me.
“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” I cry out loudly as my body rocks back and forth. I gasp in complete despair as the sobs escape from the depths of my soul, where I had buried them.
He sits on the floor beside me and pulls me firmly into his arms.
“Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” I moan as my body shakes violently.
“You can say it, baby; say it to me. Say it to me,” he begs.
“I’m scared of Malakaro. I was so scared…he’ll kill you all.”
“I know…I know,” he says softly as he places his hand behind my head and strokes my hair.
Aaden stayed with me. I mean he literally never left my side. I cried from sunup to sundown and he never let go of me. And when I could cry no more, and
the flashbacks of The Center threatened to take me captive, he would hold my hand between his and kiss it repeatedly, knowing his touch brought me back to the present. When I closed my eyes to Recharge and The Center would invade my dreams and I’d wake up screaming, I’d find myself right where I was before: ensconced in his strong, patient embrace.
We would go hours without speaking and yet with each passing moment I was renewed. He didn’t use words to tell me that I would make it past the trauma. He told me with the smallest actions.
He told me he cared about me by covering me up with a blanket while I Recharged. He spoke of how much he believed in me when he held my hand for hours, never letting go.
And when I woke up screaming from a particularly horrific nightmare about the White Room, he wrapped his arms around me tightly from behind and let me weep without judgment. That was his way of saying he would always, always be there for me.
And just now, when I open my eyes after finally getting some rest, he leans in from behind, pulls me close, and kisses my bare shoulder. His kiss is…simple, soft, and sincere. The kiss tells me something I have wanted to know all my life, something that gives me strength beyond measure: Aaden Case loves me.
Chapter Twenty-Four:
The New Girl
I wake up to find that even as he Recharges, Aaden still holds on to me. The early morning sunlight streams through the window and bathes his remarkably sculpted body. I don’t remember him placing me on my bed or laying down next to me, but I’m glad he did.
Suddenly I’m very aware of the fact that his arms are around my waist. It’s different from last night. Last night his touch offered comfort, safety, and a promise of continued support. But right here and now, his touch isn’t safe, it’s very dangerous. It’s not the kind of danger you run from because it will hurt you, but rather the kind of danger that thrills and beckons you.
“Good morning,” he says.
How the hell can he make a simple greeting sound so damn sexy?
“Good morning,” I reply, clearing my throat.
“Did you Recharge okay? It took a while, but you finally stopped having nightmares, so I guess I drifted off. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I mean what were you supposed to do, watch me every single minute of the night?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says with certainty and conviction.
Dear Omnis, I want this angel so bad.
“I Recharged well; at least well enough.”
“Good. You really needed it.”
“I remembered something in one of the flashbacks I had about The Center--something about the Apprentice.”
“Do you know who it is?” he wonders, now very alert.
“No…but I remember a smell…almonds.”
“The Apprentice smelled like almonds?”
“Yeah, I know it’s silly, but it’s the only thing that has stayed with me about this guy. Bishop would talk to him but he never answered back. He would just do what was asked of him. And once when he came towards me, I remember smelling almonds.”
“Don’t worry about it now. This guy has probably gone into hiding. That is, if he didn’t die in the blast.”
“Yeah, I guess. It’s just I really would like to put a face to the guy that wants us dead so badly.”
“I know it’s next to impossible, but you have to try and live in the present. Every trip you take back to that ‘house of horror’ takes a little bit of joy away from you.”
“You’re right. No more talk about the Apprentice,” I promise.
“Glad to hear it.”
“Look, Aaden, about what I said last night—”
“Forget it, it’s done. We can move on.”
“You know I didn’t mean it, right? You always look out for me. If it hadn’t been for you and the team…”
“I know. Don’t even think about that now,” he says.
“This room is a complete mess. It kind of looks like my relationship with the team right now,” I reply sadly.
“Yeah, you have a lot of work to do with them.”
“Well, I better get started. Hopefully they will understand why I was such a bitch.”
“If they don’t, you might want to bring along some incentive for them to forgive you: cash, major organs, and for one particular member, Comic Con tickets,” he jokes.
“Randy…I was so awful to him.”
“Yeah, you were. But it came from a good place.”
“Doesn’t matter. I have to start making it up to him and the others,” I reply as I leap out of bed.
“I think everyone’s downstairs.”
“Okay, I’m starting my ‘sorry I was such a tool’ tour. First stop, downstairs.”
“Good luck.”
I open my door to leave, but instead I pause to take a moment and address him.
“Aaden, about you and me. I mean ‘us.’ I…well…”
“Hey, after you fix things with the team, you and I will talk. We have time.”
“We won’t just talk. We’ll…get on the same page about…everything.”
“Deal,” he says with a sly smile.
***
The first team members I run into are the twins. They are gathering their things in the living room, getting ready to head to school.
“Hey, can you guys wait a sec?” I ask.
“What is it? Are we not allowed to leave the house at all now?” Swoop snaps.
“No, it’s not that,” I reply.
“Make it quick, Pry, there’s a drug den I’m late for,” Key spits.
“Okay, I deserve that,” I reply.
“No shit,” Swoop says.
“You guys risked everything to save me. I should have been grateful but instead I was a jerk. I just kept replaying Malakaro’s words in my head and it made me crazy. I was wrong to hold on so tight. But I really do love you both so much. I don’t want anything to happen to any of you,” I confess.
“If we allow Malakaro to change who we are and how we run our lives, then he’s already won. You can’t let him play with your mind like that, Pryor,” Key scolds.
“You were mean, rude, and controlling. I don’t need that. I already have Key for that,” Swoop jokes. Key playfully jabs her in the side.
“I’m sorry, guys, really I am.”
“Well, I don’t know that I can forgive you. I am an angel with integrity. My forgiveness isn’t something I give lightly,” Swoop says in a firm voice as she heads for the door.
“Miu Miu black leather mesh peep toe heels,” I shout.
She doesn’t turn around but she also doesn’t leave, so I know I have her interest.
“And I’ll throw in the new Manolo Blahnik stretch lace boots—in both black and zinc metallic.” I offer.
She rushes over to me and hugs me.
“Okay, I love you again,” she gushes.
“Key…” I call out as Swoop heads off to school.
“I don’t need shoes, thank you,” she snaps.
“How can I make it up to you?” I ask.
“I know that taking drugs was stupid and reckless. I was going through a hard time; I still am. I was feeling bad enough about not being able to help in the forest, and then you go and reprimand me like a damn child.”
“You’re right. I should have been more supportive. I know things have been difficult for you. I really did just want to keep you and the others safe,” I promise her.
“I know. It just hurt to hear what you thought of me. I know I let everyone down and maybe I deserved to be scolded like that, but it still really sucked.”
“I know you’re still pissed at me, but just tell me that our friendship isn’t over. And that eventually you’ll forgive me,” I reply.
“You know I will. It’s not just you. I put everyone at risk and you’re right, it was an awful thing to do,” she says.
“We can’t change what’s happened. We have to move on from it. How are you feeling now?” I ask.
“Good. I haven’t used since I
had the Soak back at your grandfather’s house.”
“That’s good. I’m so proud of you.”
“But, Pry, every day is a day I might go back to taking drugs and that really freaks me out,” she admits.
“My mom said when my dad was using, he had a trigger. Something that always pushed him to want to zone out. For a while that trigger was her, so she had to give him space. I think if you find the thing that’s pushing you to use, it will help.”
“I already know my trigger,” she says as she signals to Bex, who stands on the landing.
“Hey, Key, you ready to go?” he asks.
“Yeah, yeah,” she says with a reluctant smile.
Bex comes down the steps. I call out his name but he ignores me, takes Key’s hand, and walks out.
Okay…
“Can you move, you’re in my way,” East says behind me.
“Hey,” I reply as I turn to face him.
East is not himself. He’s pensive and clearly angry with me.
“East, did you wipe Marisol’s mind yet?” I ask.
“I tried but it didn’t take. I think it’s because of how I feel about her. It clouds my abilities. But don’t worry, boss, I will try again,” he says sardonically.
“How do you feel about her?” I ask.
“Does it matter?” he barks.
“Yes, it does. So tell me.”
“She’s got like all these reasons to hate the world but she doesn’t. She’s always fighting for the underdog and she’s passionate about it. I love that. I love her,” he says sincerely.
“If you promise me that she will not tell anyone about us, not a single soul, then you don’t have to Mind wipe her.”
“Seriously?” he shouts with excitement.
“Yes.”
He picks me up without warning and gives me a big bear hug. I yell for him to put me down, but he only agrees to do so after I promise to have Marisol over tonight for coffee and Coy with all of us.
“I can’t wait! Pry, this girl is…wow!”
I can’t believe what I am witnessing; Easton is in love…
***
When we get to school, the first thing I do is go to Randy’s locker and wait for him. He sees me and turns the other way. I run to catch up with him as the crowd of students floods the hallways.
