“But what?”
Erik stood and began to pace again nervously. “I did something so bad and … I can’t reverse it. I can’t turn back the hands of time.”
Suddenly, there was a bright light which flashed from another room. She doubted Erik had seen it as he’d been pacing the other way. They both heard the boots as they hit the wooden floor; it sounded like a heightened heartbeat in the echoes of Hell.
Anaïs was shocked when she came face to face with Kirk Desault, lead singer of the 1990s alternative band, Utopia. The problem was that era was almost thirty-five years ago in their rearview and Kirk looked the same as he had when he died at the height of his fame at the age of twenty-seven.
“It’s time to go, Erik,” he said in that voice which was so Northwest yet American.
“Wait, hold up for a moment. What the hell is going on here? You’re dead,” Anaïs whispered softly.
“Well, technically, yes but I still can bring the house down. I am merely a minion for Beelzebub as I like to call him. Some know him as the Devil, Satan, the Dark One and of course, the Walkin’ Dude. He’s always busy. He likes doing favors but he also likes to collect when it comes due.”
She tuned out Kirk and stared back at Erik. “What did you do?”
Kirk, obviously used to not being ignored, walked closer and stood between the two of them. “Kleptokrat’s meteoric rise to fame … all the money and the fans … did you think that all happened by accident? Loverboy here is part of the twenty-seven club, honey. He sold his soul to the Dark One for fame and now he has to pay up.”
“No,” Anaïs heard herself say. “You can’t do this. There has to be something I can do. Please, I’ll sacrifice anything to save Erik. What do you want from me? What can I do?”
What was she doing here and where had that statement come from? He’d shattered her heart into a million pieces yet she still loved him? That was impossible.
Kirk turned toward the beautiful young woman. “You’re quite the tasty looking specimen, aren’t you? Bee is always looking for … new talent. We’ve got Jimmy, Amy, James, Jim, Janis, et al. Erik is due to the big Bee—after all, he is twenty-seven. All you can do is buy him some time, unfortunately. His soul has already been sold and he can’t buy it back. Bee doesn’t work that way. Once he owns you, you’re his.”
“How much time does Erik … receive … if I sacrifice myself?” Anaïs inquired out loud.
“Hard to say. He could get five years or fifty—who knows? Unfortunately, if you do decide to sacrifice yourself for your boyfriend, the clock for you starts now. When you turn twenty-seven, just know that you will have less than three hundred and sixty-five days before you die,” Kirk remarked flippantly.
She narrowed her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips. “How do you know I won’t die in the next few days even after I have ‘sold’ my soul to the Dark One? I could get into an auto accident; become a paraplegic—anything could happen to me. How can you guarantee all my dreams will come true?”
Erik grabbed her arm. “Look around you. He keeps his promises, Anaïs, if nothing else. It’s not worth it though. I have lived with this sin for all this time. It’s been killing me as you can see. I’ve tried to kill myself before my time came up due but alas, I cannot die until He calls me. Now that he has demanded I come home, I have no choice. I don’t want you putting your soul in jeopardy for me, Anaïs. I have loved you with all my heart for so long. I wouldn’t dare ask you to risk what you hold most dear for me. It isn’t worth it. I’m His anyway—you’re just prolonging the inevitable.”
“My love,” she began as she faced her ex-boyfriend. “I would do anything for you. What do I have to do? Tell me what I have to sign. I’ll do it. At least we can burn in Hell together.”
“I can’t let you do that—”
“It’s not exactly your choice,” a thunderous voice interrupted savagely.
Anaïs turned around to see a good looking man with a nondescript face and glowing red eyes. Was He handsome at all as she only saw a vague outline. The temperature in the place, although pleasantly cool, seemed to drop below freezing in a matter of seconds. She could clearly see her breath as she exhaled and was vaguely reminded of a wintery day in Versailles after a snowstorm. She tried to keep her teeth from chattering but that proved to be a fruitless exercise.
Kirk laughed savagely. “Nice to see you again, Bee. Here’s our latest prospect. A great piece of ass, isn’t she?”
“Very,” he said softly. “I can see you now giving birth to what will be the chosen son, the anti-Christ the world has been waiting for with breath that is baited. Yes, you will be my bride. Give this weakling his extra time—he’s not deserving of the twenty-seven club. You’re not good enough to shine my shoes let alone do my bidding but … you will provide the body, the specimen for me to come back to life. Through you, I will be able to bring forth my child who will wreak havoc on this twisted earth and end the reign of that Judas everyone calls God.
“I must admit, I’ve done a pretty good job destroying His most powerful institutions. Everyone who believes in the false Prophet is seen as crazy or a lowly devolved sub-species. It is time to bring forth my son and allow him to wreak havoc. He must sit at the highest of tables. Alas, he will not be a rock god but an attorney. I have loved the concept since that film, The Devil’s Advocate. Such a wonderful piece of fiction which will prophesize what will happen on this decadent, evil and violent earth. It makes me proud … all the havoc I have caused. The fifteenth and the twentieth centuries were a work of art, don’t you think? Alas, you haven’t seen nothing yet.”
Anaïs blood grew colder although this creature never took a step near her. “You can’t do anything without my permission. I’ve got free will and all of that, right?”
“Yes, you are correct. I need you to come willingly. Your life for Erik’s—that’s the way it would work and that would be the deal.”
Anaïs nodded her head and with tears falling from her eyes, she whispered, “I accept.”
“No, you can’t—”
“Silence you pathetic piece of shit!” the Dark One roared angrily. “You have no authority here.”
Erik looked down in dismay and began to wring his hands for lack of anything better to do.
“So, how does this work?” she inquired out loud as she began to pace like a stealth panther. “What’s my deal again? I’m twenty-six right now. How am I supposed to have your child if I only have until the age of twenty-seven to live?”
The creature approached her (she wasn’t comfortable knowing him as Satan at the moment) and although He was so close she could touch Him, the chill coming from Him numbed her. “Oh, I’m sorry—I should have been more forthright. Everything you do is free will. If you do decide to have my child, you won’t die at twenty-seven. You will become the queen amongst queens. If you are cooperative that is … I have disposed of female companions before so it means nothing to me. But, if you decide your love for this … mortal piece of crap outweighs any duty to me then you will most definitely join the twenty-seven club. It’s your choice.”
“That’s not what you told me from the start—tell me, why are you changing your mind?” Anaïs wondered out loud.
“Because I am the most powerful god in the world and I can do whatever the hell I want. This was not so very difficult for your weakling ex-boyfriend to understand and you are so much more brilliant and craftier than him. I don’t think I have to explain anything to you as if you are a child. I will let you know when your services are needed. Until then, have a nice life.”
The Dark One began to leave the room. Kirk glared at Erik with a look of disgust and resentment. “You are a waste of space. And to think Bee thought you were even good enough to join one of the most exclusive clubs in the world. You’re not great enough to shine Jimi’s shoes or eat Amy’s cunt you stupid fucking asshole.”
“That’s enough with the insults. Not everyone can be as strong as you, Kirk, and leave a cold
-blooded bitch and an infant son behind,” Anaïs retorted angrily.
“See you around, hot stuff.”
There was a flash of light as they entered the hallway to the parlor and a bedroom but they’d vanished before they could reach either one of the rooms.
She couldn’t stand it anymore; she embraced Erik and held him as close as humanly possible. It felt so strange to have her first love, the man who had been her heaven and earth rolled into one, safely in her arms.
“You shouldn’t have done that. They’re right, you know. I’m not worth it.” Erik murmured as he pressed his face against her breasts.
“It’s a moot point now. I’ve already done it so there isn’t much to say.”
“That is where you are wrong. I feel freaked out. I can’t stay here. Can we drive back to your apartment in Versailles?”
Anaïs merely nodded her head in reply.
They avoided running into Klaus by taking the service entrance down to the building’s lobby. Traffic had just started to flow as it was shortly after six thirty in the morning and people were making their way around the city to their various places of employment.
She tried not to think too much about their journey, how far they had come. They hadn’t been together for three years yet here she was, back again with a man she vowed never to give another chance. Was she high or crazy?
Perhaps these questions were best unanswered but she would need some more information about this situation. Time seemed to stand still and she didn’t like where her mind was going, all the self-doubt and the inquiries dancing in her head like elegant ballerinas during an intense session of pirouette training.
She knew the streets of Paris by heart, it was quite easy to navigate down certain avenues with less traffic, hop onto the freeway and make it to Versailles in less than forty-five minutes.
She made a fresh pot of coffee while Erik took a shower. It felt so odd to have her ex-lover back in her home but there was a feeling of familiarity and warmth too. They’d been so close at one time, no one would have ever believed there could have been any sort of demise between the two of them. They seemed to know one another inside and out. Not only had they been lovers but best friends who shared any and everything with one another.
Anaïs knew of Erik’s difficult childhood in Hamburg; his mother, Birgit, was a prostitute and his father, Christian, her pimp, never made the situation any easier for him and Klaus. Whereas Klaus always used to look at women as sex objects, Erik had gained an infinite amount of respect for the female sex. He could even admit with a straight face how much stronger women were than men.
Due to their parents’ good looks, they were attracted to one another like moths to a flame. Unfortunately, neither had any inclination toward back-breaking work; Birgit found the profession of being a whore easy and Christian enjoyed the power he felt ordering women around and the easy money he made from doing little to nothing at all.
Was it no wonder both Klaus and Erik were fucked up as human beings? Their whole lives had been a series of hard knocks which hadn’t seemed to slow, even in adulthood.
Erik walked into the kitchen with a towel around his waist and nothing else. His finely chiseled chest was on display as were the various tattoos he possessed on his arms and the yin-yang symbol he had on his shoulder-blade. Down the length of his spine was Kleptokrat written in elegant letters in old German.
He pressed his face to Anaïs’ shoulder as she made them both cups of coffee. “Thank you. I know it isn’t adequate and I feel like a dick making any sort of statement at all but at this moment … I’m fresh out of words.”
She smiled to herself gently before she handed him his coffee. “We can talk about this more in the living room.”
They walked out of the kitchen and both took seats on her ultra-comfy sofa. Erik rummaged through the dirty pair of jeans he’d worn and found his cigarettes. He grabbed one and lit it with a silver Zippo lighter.
“So, what’s going on? I think I have a right to know why I’ve signed my death warrant tonight,” Anaïs whispered as she took the cigarette from him and dragged hungrily before she handed it back.
“I thought you quit.”
“I have—I did. But I need a drag off something at the moment and since I’m fresh out of marijuana, that’ll have to do. Fess up, why don’t you? I’m incredibly sleep deprived and don’t feel like dealing with anyone’s bullshit at the moment.”
“How much time you got?”
“I’m tired but that’s what coffee’s for. I can make another pot after we have drained this one.”
Erik glared at Anaïs in desperation. “It’s not that simple and it’s going to take more time than a couple pots of coffee. I am so fucking depressed right now, I would rather not think about it. All I feel is a sense of numbness and frustration. I’m going to kill Klaus—that selfish prick was never to call you for any reason. I specifically requested he not send for you because I knew you would come and it wouldn’t be fair. You’ve always been a decent human being. You don’t deserve this.”
“Understood but Klaus did call me and whether you like it or not, now I am involved. If you don’t want to talk about it right now, you don’t have to but … just know you can’t keep the secret forever. Is that clear?”
“Crystal. I wouldn’t want to keep the secret from you. I haven’t slept in over fifty hours and to be honest, I am just as tired as you. I just need a bed right now and we can discuss everything else at another time. Is that okay?”
She reluctantly shook her head. “Fine, let’s go to bed.”
Chapter II
Anaïs found sleep hard to come by, even after she found herself wrapped in her lover’s warm embrace.
Ex-lover, her mind cautioned. He wore you down as a human being and you’ve spent the last few years believing you were unlovable. How could you have allowed him into your life so easily after everything that transpired between you two?
She wondered to her soul if she was being naïve about the situation. Erik claimed he didn’t want her to know so why did Klaus call her first? The man hated her guts for God’s sake. Why would he call her up and beg her to save his brother?
Because he knew you would be gullible enough to show up, she thought bitterly.
Her brain was doing the pinwheels again and she constantly felt like she had her decent side on one shoulder and her bitter side carrying a chip the size of Corsica on the other. She’d never understand the way her mind worked.
How could she love a man so deeply yet hate him at the same time?
You must love at one time to hate someone or something, her mind echoed vaguely.
Yet she’d fallen again into his world and saved him without a thought for herself. She’d promised to either die in less than two years’ time or she would bear a child for the Dark One; the source of the world’s evil. How else was she supposed to look at the situation?
She didn’t necessarily discount God before tonight but the two were barely on speaking terms. Personally, she considered herself to be agnostic and while not religious, somewhat spiritual. She believed in a karmic version of life—human beings simply received from the universe the same kind of energy they released into the universe. She’d always tried to keep her karma clean so what was she doing now?
All rational thought quickly disappeared from her mind as she felt a calloused hand touch her face softly.
“How could I have forgotten how beautiful you are? I must have been out of my head when I left you.”
“Something like that,” she whispered to him.
They settled in the familiar comfort of one another’s arms and their lovemaking was gentle, mind-blowing and definitely what the doctor ordered.
Anaïs hadn’t shared her body with anyone since they’d broken up and although she was well aware of Erik’s torrid history with the female sex, she blocked the images from her mind. She didn’t want to think about the love of her life being with anyone other than her; the fact that his sou
l was now promised to a creature she hadn’t even believed in less than twenty-four hours ago also irked her.
They lay in one another’s arms afterwards as she glared at him. “Okay, we slept and made love … I need to know what the hell is going on here.”
Erik stared at her with his beautiful blue-gray eyes and tried to avoid the subject but alas knew it was time for him to come clean. “When we broke up, it was incredibly hard for me. I have loved you for so long—I believed I fell for you the same night you came over to take our drink order in Aberdeen.”
Anaïs sat up in bed and crossed her legs Indian-style. “That’s nice. I’m certainly not intentionally trying to play down our emotional connection but I just don’t understand what could have compelled you to do what you did. Have you gone mad? Surely you didn’t want fame that bad?!”
“Of course I did. I grew up poor as dirt or have you forgotten? If we became rich and famous, our past wouldn’t matter and neither would my family background. I could banish Birgit and Christian from my memory forever. This is all I have ever wanted. If I could forget I ever belonged to them, I would be a new person.”
“Bullshit. We can’t run away from who we are and you damn well know it, Erik. All the money and the fame in the world isn’t going to make you forget you grew up the son of a whore and a pimp,” she responded sarcastically.
“Well you can make a statement like that—there isn’t anything wrong with your family, remember? Your mother is a bestselling painter and photographer, your father is an excellent and talented musician. Sure, he isn’t as famous as some people but he is known in his own right and your parents loved you and took care of you.
“I’d give anything to have this simple flat in Versailles and be safe in the knowledge I am someone special. I am a fraud, Anaïs—I was a fake then and I’m certainly one of the biggest frauds now. No matter how much money we have, I lost you and I can never escape my background. I am so lost and so incredibly lonely. I thought all this money, the girls and the touring would be fun. It’s just managed to suck the life right out of me and no amount of penance in the world is going to change that.”
Indie Chicks: 25 Women 25 Personal Stories Page 8
