“She left early today,” Mary said, an eyebrow arched in comment.
Letting out a breath of disdain, Abby shook her head. “It figures. Well, that makes my decision easier. I’m cutting out of here early too.”
“Ooh, are you sure?” Mary asked.
“I need to get home before my girls do. I don’t have a choice. Besides,” she said, her mouth turned down in a frown, “what’s she going to do, fire me?”
“Uh, I wouldn’t put it past her,” Mary said. “I think that’s her favorite part of the job.”
Abby laughed out loud, drawing a sharp look from one of the librarians. She covered her mouth with her hand, then waved silently to Mary and went to get her things before heading home.
Susannah and Tiffany were sitting on the porch when she arrived. They jumped up and ran to their mother after she pulled into the garage. Abby immediately noticed that seven-year-old Susannah’s eyes were red, as if she’d been crying. Nine-year-old Tiffany seemed calm, however.
“Mommy, where were you?” Susannah cried, fresh tears coursing down her cheeks.
They couldn’t have been waiting for more than five minutes, but Abby knew five minutes could feel like an eternity to a young child. As she gazed at Susannah’s tear-streaked face, Abby’s anger at Eric for throwing off her whole day was rekindled.
She pulled her daughters into her arms and hugged them. “I’m sorry I’m late, sweethearts. I got here as soon as I could.” Abby was glad she hadn’t stayed any longer; there was no telling what kind of state she would have found Susannah in.
“I tried to tell her you’d be here in a minute, Mom,” Tiffany said, pulling back from her mother and shooting a look in her sister’s direction. “But she wouldn’t listen.”
“Thank you, Tiff.” Abby let Susannah go as well and stood up. “Let’s go inside and have a treat. How does that sound?”
Susannah perked up and ran into the house.
After Abby fixed them a plate of cookies, she went into the office to check for messages. She hoped Eric had called to explain his behavior.
The button was blinking. Abby hit PLAY and listened as Eric’s voice filled the room. “I … I guess I just missed you. I wanted to tell you that I love you and … I’m sorry.” Abby immediately realized it was the message from that morning. In her haste to be on time to her appointment, she’d forgotten to erase it.
Before her anger could revive, another message began playing. It was Eric’s coworker, Timothy Meher.
“Eric, this is Tim. Call me at home when you get this message.”
She called Eric’s office, a whole list of questions flooding her mind. Carly, the secretary, informed her she hadn’t heard from Eric yet, and had no idea where he was.
“Are you sure he didn’t have an appointment today or something?” Abby asked, a slight feeling of alarm beginning to replace her earlier irritation. She could hear the woman typing on her keyboard.
“No, it doesn’t look like he had anything scheduled. I’m sorry, Mrs. Breuner.”
“Do you know if he came in this morning?” she asked as different scenarios raced through her fertile imagination.
“I’m not sure. I could ask around and call you back. Would that help?”
Grateful for her suggestion, Abby felt calmer. “That would be great.”
Abby tried to busy herself in the office while she waited for the phone to ring. After a few minutes she went to see what Tiffany and Susannah were up to. Seeing they were nearly done with their snack, Abby asked them to get started on homework.
“I need help, Mom,” Tiffany said, pulling out her daily folder.
Trying to put aside her worries about Eric, Abby walked over to her older daughter and looked over the assignment. It was a multiplication worksheet. “What do you want me to help you with, sweetie? Do you want me to get the flashcards so you can practice?”
Tiffany groaned. “No, I want you to help me figure these out.”
“I’ll tell you what. Do all the ones you know, then we’ll see where you are, okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed, obviously not happy with her mother’s answer. Nonetheless, she bent over her paper, concentrating intently.
The shrill ring of the phone broke the quiet. Tiffany jumped from her chair and raced to the phone before Abby had a chance to get it.
“Hello?” Tiffany said, apparently hopeful it would be one of her friends so she could get a break from her dreaded homework. “She’s right here.” Tiffany frowned and held out the phone to her mother. “It’s for you. She says her name’s Carly or something.”
“I’ll take it in the office. Please hang it up in a second.” She hurried to pick up the office extension. “This is Abby.”
“Mrs. Breuner, this is Carly at Central Valley Construction.”
“Yes,” she said, as she heard the click of the other phone being hung up.
“I’m afraid no one has seen Eric today. In fact, he had a meeting this morning and didn’t show up.”
Abby shook her head, trying to clear her mind, wondering if she’d heard Carly correctly. “Are you sure he never came in?” Her stomach suddenly felt like it was full of wasps trying to force their way up her throat.
“It appears that way, yes,” Carly said.
“That can’t be right,” she whispered.
“I beg your pardon?” Carly asked.
“Nothing. Thank you for your help. Goodbye.” Abby slowly hung up the phone, puzzled at what was happening. Eric was an accountant and rarely left the office. She wondered if Tim, one of the other accountants, had any answers.
She called the office again. Carly told her Tim wasn’t there and she didn’t know if he would be in the next day. She regretfully refused to give Abby his home number, saying it was against company policy.
“Look, my husband is missing,” Abby said, guilt for her previous anger at her husband compressing her chest. “Tim left a message earlier asking Eric to call him at home. I don’t have his home number and I need to talk to him. Please give me his number.”
“Mrs. Breuner, I’m sorry, but I could lose my job. They’re really strict about this.” Carly paused. “Have you tried the phone book?”
“No,” Abby said, trying to control her now-shaking voice.
“I’m sorry.”
Abby hung up the phone and grabbed the phone book, thankful to have something concrete to do. Setting the phone book on the desk, she sat down and began thumbing through the M’s until she came to the place where “Timothy Meher” should be. He wasn’t listed.
Though she would have liked to hide out in her bedroom and think through what was happening, she remembered she had two children in the next room who were depending on her to make their world okay. She smoothed back her hair and calmly walked into the kitchen, trying to hide her very real feelings of apprehension.
Apparently she looked like her usual self because Tiffany smiled and asked, “Are we going to have a baby brother?”
A sharp pain flared in her heart as she thought of Eric and his desire to have a baby boy. She kept her composure as she answered her daughter’s question. “I don’t know yet, honey.” She didn’t mention the little origami bird, not wanting to explain they were waiting for Eric before opening it. At the thought, her mind jumped to horrible conclusions and she couldn’t seem to stop herself from assuming the worst.
Abby spoke to the girls in a quiet voice. “If you want to take a break from homework, you may watch TV if you’d like.”
The girls cheered and raced into the adjoining family room, thrilled at the unusual privilege. Then they began arguing over which program to watch. The sound of them fighting stretched Abby’s already taut nerves to the breaking point and she took several deep breaths to keep from screaming at them to quiet down. Just as she was about to yell at them, they settled on a program and were soon peacefully watching TV.
The phone rang and Abby snatched it from its cradle. “Hello?”
“Abby, this is Tim
Meher.”
“Oh! I’m so glad you called. I’m really starting to worry.” Abby was relieved to finally speak to someone who might have answers.
“Carly called and said you needed to talk to me. What’s going on? Is Eric there?”
“No. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. Have you seen him today?”
“No, I haven’t. But it’s urgent that I speak to him as soon as possible.”
It’s urgent that I speak to him as soon as possible too, she thought as she closed her eyes. Opening them again, she focused on the new plant she had recently bought, from a time when her worries were few.
Bringing her mind back to the distressing conversation, Abby forced her voice to remain calm. “I haven’t heard from him since this morning. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.” She shifted her gaze to the clock. It was a quarter past four. “He was supposed to come home for lunch today and he never showed up or called. Is it possible he went on an errand for someone there?” Abby unconsciously held her breath as she waited for Tim’s reply.
“Anything’s possible I suppose. But I seriously doubt he’s on an errand. Besides, I asked around earlier and no one had seen him.”
She exhaled abruptly. “Well, as far as I know, he went to work this morning.”
“I wish I could help you, Abby. Like I said, it’s very important that I speak to him right away.” He paused. “I don’t mean to alarm you, but have you tried calling the police to see if there have been any accidents?”
“No,” she whispered in a shaky voice.
“Well, you might want to give that a try.” He paused, then asked, “Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t know.” She fought her racing thoughts. “I don’t think so. Thanks for asking.”
“Will you keep me posted?”
“Yes.” Abby tried to control the panic that welled up inside her. “Can I get your number?”
He gave it to her and they hung up.
Tim’s suggestion of an accident was more than she could bear. “Girls,” she called out over the blare of the television.
They turned to look at her.
Abby stared back for a moment, the weight of her concern paralyzing her.
“What, Mom?” Tiffany asked as Susannah turned back to the program they were watching.
“I’ll be up in my room if you need me.”
“Okay.”
Going to the entry hall, Abby couldn’t avoid noticing the family photograph hanging on the wall. The photo had been taken the previous summer when they had gone on a picnic. They were all sitting on a log, looking off into the distance. Next to Eric were his three girls, as he liked to call Abby and their daughters. His blond hair was cut short and his blue eyes sparkled as if he had a surprise he was about to share.
Seeing his handsome face smiling down at her, she felt his absence more sharply and the sense of dread became stronger. She tried to push the feeling away as she trudged up the stairs, turning right on the landing. As she entered her bedroom she felt calmer, the design of the room doing its intended job. This room was her sanctuary and she always came here to relax at the end of the day.
Nestled in a small alcove under a shuttered window were a love seat and a small end table. A cordless phone sat in the middle of the oak and glass table. The alcove was where Abby enjoyed relaxing with a good book.
Even now, under the stress she felt, she found herself automatically walking over to the love seat, sinking into its soft fullness and leaning back against the cushions. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment and felt her baby kick.
The motions of her unborn child reminded her of all the responsibilities she had, and she felt her stress level edge up a notch. She opened her eyes and picked up the phone, staring at it as she realized she didn’t know where to start. She set the phone down and leaned back, forcing herself to relax.
A moment later, the phone rang.
She jumped at the sudden noise, her heart racing. Then a tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she picked it up, imagining Eric on the other end, chagrined and apologetic.
“Hello?” she said, feeling a cheerfulness that had been lacking all afternoon.
Silence greeted her.
“Hello?” she repeated, her smile fading.
Still no response.
“Who’s there?” She gripped the phone with both hands as she listened to what sounded like muffled breathing on the other end. “Eric? Is that you?”
She heard a click and knew the caller had hung up. She stared at the silent device, alarm and uncertainty beginning to grow within her.
As she thought about Eric and the trials they had experienced in their marriage, a familiar fear mixed with the worry she had already been experiencing. Abby stood and began pacing, stopping at her bedroom window and gazing toward the street, hoping against hope that Eric would pull into their driveway and put all her concerns to rest.
Maybe I should call the police like Tim suggested. She immediately dismissed the idea, not yet ready to believe her husband could be hurt. Besides, if the police knew Eric was in an accident, wouldn’t the police call me? Staring into the empty street, she felt completely alone.
She lay on the bed, trying to push away the sense of unease. Then, as she thought about an incident about six years earlier, she became more worried.
Could he be in some kind of trouble?
The noise of the girls bounding up the stairs broke Abby’s troubled meditation. The sound faded as the girls went toward their own rooms.
Restlessness pushed Abby off the bed, and after a moment she found herself in her bathroom standing in front of the medicine cabinet. As she pulled the door open, her gaze was drawn to Eric’s things. His shaving cream and razor were there as well as his cologne.
She reached in and touched the cologne, hesitating for only a moment before pulling it out and unscrewing the cap. Tilting it toward her nose, she breathed in the musky scent. As she smelled the fragrance he had worn ever since they’d met, emotions and memories intermingled. She thought back to the secret Eric had shared with her soon after they had started dating, then replaced the cap and set the bottle back on the shelf, not wanting to consider that just now.
Chapter 3
“Where’s Daddy?” Susannah asked at the dinner table that evening.
Abby bit her lip. “I’m not sure, but he’ll probably be home soon. Now eat your dinner.”
Susannah accepted the answer without question and Abby looked over at nine-year-old Tiffany to see her reaction. Tiffany seemed unconcerned and Abby realized with relief that she was hiding her anxiety better than she thought. She tried to fill the silence with questions about the girls’ school and friends. They eagerly talked about their day and she only had to half listen to their conversation as the other half of her mind thought about Eric and where he could be.
Adrenaline rushed through her veins as different scenarios flashed across her mind. The baby must have felt it too, because Abby could feel her little one moving around more than normal.
Glancing at her watch, Abby saw it was six forty-five.
“Mom? How come you’re not eating?” Tiffany asked as she pointed at Abby’s plate. “You’re not going to get any dessert.”
“What?” She looked at her older daughter, trying to smile back at the joke.
Susannah joined in. “Yeah, Mommy. No dessert for you.”
Abby pushed back from the table and carried her plate and glass to the sink. She set the dirty dishes inside and leaned against the counter, staring unseeingly at the charming room that was the center of her home. Then her gaze darted around the room, trying to find something to focus on, something to help her figure out what to do next.
“Who wants to go out for ice cream?” she suddenly asked, turning to face her daughters.
The girls squealed with delight.
As she backed the minivan out of the garage, Abby hoped that when they returned Eric would somehow be waiting for them. A
nd though it was possible Eric might call or come home while they went for ice cream, Abby could not stand being in the house any longer. She had to get out.
Driving through town, Abby couldn’t stop herself from looking at every car they passed and down every side street in hopes of spotting Eric’s car. It was after she swerved into the lane next to hers and heard a horn blare that she realized the whole purpose of going out for ice cream was an excuse to look for Eric.
She didn’t care. She continued looking and when she saw the flashing lights of a police car and a tow truck to the right, she turned sharply down the street to investigate.
“Wheeeee!” Susannah cried from the backseat. “Do it again, Mommy.”
Abby ignored her and drove slowly by to see who was involved in the accident. In the intersection, three police cars formed a makeshift barricade around the damaged vehicles. One of the cars was being loaded onto a flatbed truck. It wasn’t Eric’s. The other car was still in the center of the protective barrier and Abby couldn’t see what kind of car it was, but she could make out the color. It was blue. Eric’s Jeep was red.
Tremendous relief swept over her when she realized neither of the cars was Eric’s. At the same time, her heart constricted in fear and sadness.
What if it had been Eric? What would we do without him?
She forced the thought from her mind as she continued past the accident and drove to the shopping center.
Absently watching her daughters lick their ice-cream cones, Abby’s mind flashed to the conversation she’d had with Eric soon after they’d begun dating—and the subsequent incident in their marriage. Not yet able to consider his returning to that lifestyle, she used all of her self-discipline to push it to the back of her mind.
After several minutes of waiting for her daughters to finish their ice cream, Abby felt an urgency to get home to see if there had been any contact from Eric.
“Are you girls almost done? We need to get back home.”
“Is Daddy there?” Susannah asked, her eyes bright with anticipation.
Indie Chicks: 25 Women 25 Personal Stories Page 61
