“Where's Leo?” Layla finally asked, her eyes fluttering closed as she gave into the feeling of relief that flooded over her as Chase massaged her ankle. He had the touch of a well-trained masseuse and Layla could hardly concentrate long enough to string two sentences together. She felt an odd sense of dread settle over her as a lump surfaced in her throat.
“Leo is handling some business,” Chase finally said, his voice hoarse and sultry. “We voted on who was to stay with you.”
Layla nodded. At least she had some shred of an explanation. She knew by now that asking for further details was fruitless. She was a woman, which meant she wasn’t worthy of an explanation, at least not in the eyes of the club.
“So I guess you lost then?” she questioned, fidgeting.
Chase shrugged.
“That depends how you look at it,” he said, reaching over to grab a beer from the cooler and cracking it, taking a sip. “Some might say I won.”
Layla felt herself blushing, her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink as she took in Chase’s disheveled appearance. His hair was short and honey blonde and tapered off near his temples. His lips were full and offset by heavy facial hair, which covered his jawline, chin and upper lip. His eyes were a captivating mix of brown and green, something not quite like hazel, and try as she might, Layla couldn't bring herself to look away from him.
Sure, she he had met him once before, but the situation had been so precarious that Layla hadn’t really took in his appearance the way she was now. He was so handsome, but in a different way than Leo was. While Layla could hardly look at Leo without seeing some of herself in him, she didn’t see any of herself in Chase’s rugged demeanor. In fact, he was as different from her as anyone could be, and in a way, that intrigued her.
“What?” he asked Layla, flashing her a sideways smile. She blushed, looking away from him.
“Nothing,” she whispered. Then, she changed the subject.
“Where is your girlfriend?” she questioned, remembering the boisterous blonde she had met a few months prior. Chase raised his eyebrows in confusion, then, he chuckled once he realized who Layla was referring to.
“Laura?” he exclaimed. “She was just a bike warmer, not my ol’ lady or anything.”
“Why?”
Layla shrugged. She didn’t know why she had asked.
“Just wondering,” she whispered.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Chase stood up, answering it. Leo and three other burly men entered, all of them with large firearms pressed beneath their arms.
“What’s going on?” Layla heard herself ask. She watched as Chase helped the men cart the guns into the basement.
No one answered her.
Against her better judgment, Layla stood up, limping towards the basement door and cracking it, listening as the men spoke.
“We raided the place just like you instructed,” Layla heard an unfamiliar voice say.
“Did anyone get hurt?” she heard Chase question.
“No,” Leo responded. “It was a clean raid. No one was home.”
“Good,” Chase said. “The guy is a fucking waxer, we know he never takes out those shiny chrome-plated cycles of his, least not past his driveway. I think it’s safe to assume he’s not using these, either.”
There was a long lap of silence before Layla heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. She raced back over to the sofa, collapsing on it and trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. Finally, the men entered the room, none of them speaking.
“Layla,” Leo said, nodding at her as he pointed to the men beside him.
“Meet Mason, Hop Scotch and Emmett.”
What kind of name is Hop Scotch? Layla wondered, waving at each man. She vaguely recognizing their faces. She had met them before, the same time she met Chase, who stood beside Leo with his hands in his pockets.
“Oh and I’m sure you remember Chase…” Leo trailed off, shooting Layla a knowing glare. She nodded.
“Yeah,” she managed, clearing her throat. “We, uh, met.”
“So these are the guys,” Leo concluded, collapsing on the sofa beside Layla and cracking open a beer. He offered one to her, but she shook her head. “Everyone except for Richie.”
Richie.
The face of the man who had narrowly saved Layla from being raped flashed through her head. She wondered where he was, but figured Leo would mention it if he wanted to.
“But I’m sure you’re wondering what you just saw,” Leo added.
He was referencing the cabins sudden influx of firearms, but Layla wasn’t about to press him on the issue. She had learned her place in the presence of the men, all of whom wore patches on their jackets with the words “Disciples MC” stitched into them.
“Not really,” Layla responded, reaching for her purse and pulling out her phone. She looked at it nonchalantly, shrugging. “That’s your business.”
Leo looked up, flashing the boys a knowing smile. They nodded, making their way out the door and onto the front porch. Chase lagged behind, pausing to look at Layla with a glimmer in his eye that she couldn’t quite decipher.
“I’ll be out in a second man,” Leo said to him.
“Alright,” Chase said, closing the door behind himself. Layla listened as the boys started up their bikes. The rain had died down, and the sky was clear and blue in the way that it only was after a heavy storm.
“I’m sorry,” Leo whispered, urging Layla to look at him. She shrugged her shoulders.
“Why?” she asked. “All you did was leave me alone with a guy I don’t know, who I should also mention – threatened me once before.”
Leo grabbed Layla’s phone from her hand.
“Hey!” she exclaimed. “Give it back!”
“Not until you accept my apology,” he insisted, nodding towards the door. “And Chase isn’t a bad guy. I promise. You just…have to get to know him.”
Layla scoffed. It might have been true, but she wasn’t about to give Leo the satisfaction of knowing that.
“It was still kind of a dick move of you to not even let me know you were leaving,” Layla finally said. She grabbed her phone from Leo’s calloused hand, stuffing it back in her purse.
“I know,” he agreed. “But something came up and you were sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you. And Chase…well I know it doesn’t make any sense to you considering your first impression of him, but he’s my brother and I trust him.”
Leo’s word’s bumped against each other as they left his mouth. Layla looked at him from out of the corner of her eye, continuing to pout. She was dying for an explanation but as usual, Leo didn’t seem prepared to give her one.
“So what was so important?” she finally asked, uncrossing her arms and slouching against the armrest of the sofa. “What did you just have to go do this time?”
Leo cleared his throat. The noise outside the cabin had died down, but Layla could still hear the boys talking to each other, although she couldn’t make out what they were saying.
“Look,” Leo finally said. “I told you that you could stay here. I want you to stay here. But…I don’t want to get you involved in my business. The club’s business. I made that mistake once before and I won’t do it again.”
He brought his heavy hand to Layla’s chin, turning her face so that she was looking at him.
“Say you’ll stay,” he whispered. “And give the guy’s a chance. I promise they aren’t so bad.”
Layla sighed. She didn’t want to argue with Leo after going so long without seeing him. If all he was doing was trying to protect her, then she would accept that.
“Okay,” she finally said. “But I do have one last question. And I promise…it’s not that intrusive.”
Leo nodded, his intense eyes burning against Layla’s.
“Ok,” he said. “Shoot.”
Layla cleared her throat.
“What kind of name is Hop Scotch?"
BORN TO DIE
"I sprinkled
cocaine on the floor
when no one was watching
I closed my eyes and I let myself sleep
Creeps and dirty bastards,
demons waitin' by my bed
There's no choice or difference,
no one seems to notice."
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Layla and Leo stepped onto the creaking front porch of the cabin, approaching the boys and taking a seat beside them on the wet steps. Layla pulled off her sweater, setting it beneath herself. She watched as Leo pulled Chase off to the side, away from the other boys. They were having a heated discussion, but Layla couldn’t make out what they were saying.
When they returned, Chase nodded at Layla, signaling for her to follow him. Layla looked over at Leo, confused, but he mouthed that it was alright. She got up hesitantly, pulling on her sweater and following Chase into the secluded patch of trees that he and Leo had been standing in just a few minutes before.
“What’s going on?” Layla questioned.
What happened next caught Layla completely off guard. Chase pulled her off to the side, where Leo and the boys couldn’t see them. Then, he pulled Layla against his towering frame, gripping her tightly as she struggled to pull away.
“What the fuck are you –” she began, panicked, but Chase brought a hand over her mouth. He peeked through the trees, making sure that Leo hadn’t heard her struggle.
“Shh,” he whispered. Layla stared at him with wide eyes. “I have to tell you something, but you have to promise not to make a sound.”
Layla’s heart raced. She began to regret even coming to the cabin at all. She nodded her head slowly, struggling to breathe underneath Chase’s grip. When he was sure that she wouldn’t make a sound, he lifted his hand, exhaling sharply.
“Look,” he whispered, his voice strained and eager. “I don’t know why the fuck I’m telling you this. But…look.”
Chase grabbed Layla by the chin, forcing her to look at him.
“You seem nice enough. You need to know the truth.”
He nodded his head at the gaping space between the trees, towards Leo. Layla knew what was coming next. She wanted to stop Chase before the words could leave the confines of his mouth, but it was too late.
“Leo is your father,” he said, pronouncing each word with purpose. “He told me so. Months ago. Drunk as a skunk, but even so…”
Tears surfaced in the corners of Layla’s eyes before she could stop them. She tore her gaze from Chase, attempting to pull away from him, but he wouldn’t let her.
“You can’t tell him,” he continued. “Look, I just thought you needed to know. It’s not exactly right for a girl to be fooling around with her old man.”
Layla let out a sarcastic chuckle, allowing her mascara to run. It’s a little too late for that, she thought to herself bitterly. She watched through a crack in the moss covered tree branches as Leo downed one beer after the next, staggering to sit down on the porch. He was talking with the other boys, moving his arms enthusiastically and smiling, completely unaware as to what was unfolding just a few feet away from him.
“What did you tell him?” Layla finally asked, her voice shaky and uneven. “I…I mean why does he think you are talking to me right now?”
“Oh,” Chase replied, shrugging. He loosened his grip on Layla’s arms, running a hand over his hair. “He thinks I’m apologizing to you. For before…when we first met.”
“Which I am,” he added. “Those were shitty circumstances. I wasn’t myself.”
Layla listened as Chase searched for the right words to explain his actions. She tried to push the bitter truth of what he had shared with her about Leo into the back of her conscious, focusing instead on his apology.
“Richie is my brother,” he continued. “By blood, I mean. When I found out what he and Leo had gotten themselves into…killing those guys…I just kind of snapped. It ran deeper than the club.”
Killing those guys.
The words echoed in Layla’s head. She blinked back the tears in her eyes, swallowing hard. She had almost managed to make herself forget the whole ordeal. The almost-rape. The gunshots, one after the other. And then, finally, watching Leo bury the bodies just a few feet away from where she and Chase were now standing.
“I understand,” Layla whispered, refusing to make eye contact with him. She shivered, feeling clammy and dizzy. For the first time in months, she was dying for a fix. As she looked from Leo to Chase, she kicked herself for not making a stop along the way.
Cocaine. Heroin. Uppers, downers. She needed something – anything – to make her feel at ease. To make her forget.
Suddenly, Layla got an idea. She looked up at Chase, her eyes wide and bloodshot.
“I need you to do me a favor,” Layla asked him, her voice hoarse. Her tongue felt dry and heavy in her mouth, making speaking a nearly impossible task. Chase appeared unsure of what she was going to ask him, but shrugged nonetheless.
“Ok but make it quick,” he said, looking over at Leo. The conversation between him and the other boys had died down, and it was obvious to Layla that he would soon begin to wonder what was taking them so long.
“I need you to help me get a fix,” Layla begged.
At first, Chase shook his head.
“Hell no,” he whispered.
Layla watched as Chase’s eyes lingered for just a second too long on the track marks that covered her inner arms. A flash of empathy spread across his face, and Layla knew that he was beginning to put two and two together.
“Look, the Disciples don’t dabble in narcotics,” Chase finally said. “I’m sorry but I can’t help you,” he turned to walk away, but Layla reached out for him, grabbing hold of his leather cut. He turned around, looking down at her. She silently pleaded with him to help her.
“Maybe you know someone…” she trailed off.
“Please, Chase. I just…I could really use a fix right now.”
Chase was silent for what felt like an eternity. Layla watched as the wheels turned in his handsome head as he considered the implications involved with doing what Layla was asking. She knew it was wrong. That she was asking him to go behind the back of his brothers for a girl he had only just met. She knew that was frowned upon in his world. In their world. But Layla was hardly in any condition to find a fix herself, and Chase was the only person she could think to ask. Her emotional state was troublesome on its own, but her ankle injury made driving seem like more of a pipe dream.
“Fine,” Chase finally said. “I’ll do it. But only if you promise not to say a word to Leo about what I told you.”
Layla nodded.
The truth was, she had no intention of ever doing that. It was bad enough that Leo had lied to her, but even worse that he had shared the truth of his identity with Chase.
Had he told anyone else? Layla wondered, feeling a wave of humiliation wash over her.
She had to distance herself from him. Layla told herself that as soon as her ankle healed, and as soon as she got a fix, she’d leave. She followed Chase through the trees, towards the cabin, trying her best to remain as normal as possible.
Leo patted the spot beside himself on the steps, signaling for Layla to take a seat, but she ignored him. She limped towards the front door, muttering something about needing to rest her ankle. Sensing that something wasn’t right, Leo followed her inside. He helped Layla adjust herself on the sofa, lifting her legs and resting them on a pile of pillows. Layla caught a glimpse of her appearance in the reflection of the window and flinched. The girl staring back at her was a far cry from the Starlet that had once graced television and movie screens.
“Hey,” Leo whispered, noticing the mascara stains on Layla’s freckled cheeks.
“What’s wrong?”
Layla shook her head just as Chase entered the cabin. She shot him a knowing glance before turning her attention back to Leo.
“Nothing,” she whispered.
“I’m just exhausted. And my ankle is killing me
. I really just need to rest.”
Leo didn’t look entirely convinced, but he nodded anyway.
“Alright,” he managed. “The boys and I have a few things to take care of. But I’ll be back later tonight to check on you. The fridge is stocked, if you get hungry.”
He nodded at the small outdated fridge that hummed in the kitchen and Layla thanked him, adjusting herself on the couch. As Leo and the boys turned to leave, Chase lingered in the doorway. He nodded at Layla before closing the door, reassuring her that he would follow through on his end of their bargain.
ANXIETY
"Anxiety, anxiety, keeps me happy.
Anxiety, anxiety, keeps me happy.
Always screamin' at someone.
Got a temper like a gun.
Hair trigger personality.
Anxiety, anxiety, keeps me happy."
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Chase tossed his keys on his oak dresser. With a sigh, he collapsed on the king size bed he shared with his wife of five long years, Trisha. He kicked off his boots, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the ground onto a pile of others just like it.
“Fuck,” Chase said aloud. He couldn’t stop thinking about the promise he had made to Layla. He didn’t know the girl any more than she knew him. She was stuck up, commercialized, a red head, and everything else Chase despised, but he couldn’t knock the way she made him feel. He would never admit it aloud, but she had a certain way about her. Something capable of giving a grown man butterflies.
I didn’t need to tell her about Leo, Chase thought to himself.
He honestly didn’t even know why he had. Just a few moments before he had spoken to Layla, Leo had pulled him aside, suggesting that they have a cigarette and talk.
“Let’s let bygones be bygones brother,” Leo said, slapping Chase on the shoulder as he sipped his beer. He looked over at Layla, who was sitting on the porch with the other boys looking notably unsure of herself.
Recovery Page 3
