Heart of the Wild

by Rita Hestand

  "Look, I'd take you with me, but I'm not sure what I might run into. You're safer here than out there. I don't want to have to worry about you, too."

  Worry? About her? Since when did he ever worry about her?

  About to refute his statement, she noticed that he had turned and left without another word.

  Suddenly determined, she grabbed his gun from the corner of the kitchen where he had left it, the parka he had mentioned, and stalked out the door. She didn't intend sitting in a cabin all day, waiting on her father. If she had to be stuck here, she at least wanted to enjoy it.

  Although he was out of sight, she tracked him. He left big clear prints too, and Kasie had no trouble picking them up. The fresh snow made it easy.

  Kasie felt exhilarated, chasing Amory like a child playing hide and seek games. She'd show him a thing or two about women. Where did he ever get the idea that women were helpless little creatures?

  It had been much too long since she had had fun; since she'd lived with her father, actually. A computer programmer didn't get an excursion like this very often, she reasoned. For the past three years she had felt like a "Walter Mitty", dreaming of outdoor adventures that she wanted so badly to experience again. She wanted adventures she could some day tell her children about. If she had any children. If she ever married. If, if, if.

  Little did she know what he was up to. He had baited a trap, and was waiting for her to walk into it.

  Without warning, Kasie was flung high into the air, dangling from a low branch of hemlock. She screeched at the top of her lungs.

  "Amory, you get me down from here, this instant!"

  Coming from behind a clump of heavy brush, he roared with laughter. "Some scout you are! You walked right into it. Now, are you going to be a good little girl, and go back to the cabin where you belong?"

  "I will not. Are you going to cut me down?"

  "Nope," he drawled, his smile widening, "I'll see you on my way back, then."

  "Amory, this isn't funny," she yelled indignantly.

  "Oh, I don't know. Depends on which angle you're looking at it from," he said with a grin, and started trotting off.

  "Amory?" she screamed, but she was obviously screaming at a brick wall.

  "Do you give up?" came a voice from nowhere in sight.

  "Not in your lifetime," she bellowed mutinously.

  "Too bad. Better keep that shirt on, it might get a little cool like that." He emerged from a bush not far away, and smiled as he glanced at the exposed section of stomach.

  He turned again and was almost out of sight when she yelled, "Wait--Okay, I give up."

  With a triumphant laugh, he returned to the scene of his crime, and climbed the tree halfway to cut the rope from which she was dangling. When he did, she fell to the ground with a loud thud.

  "Why, you swine!" she hollered, as she tried in vain to catch her fall. Straightening herself, she stalked towards the cabin, muttering every foul name she could think of, as she rubbed her backside.

  She could hear his laughter halfway back to the cabin. He allowed her no dignity in her surrender. He was a hard foe. What nerve. The gall! It would serve him right if she reported this crude little incident to her father. If anyone could straighten Chayton Amory out, it was John Douglas.

  But then, whose side would her father take? She hadn't contemplated that. After eight years, she couldn't be certain of anything. She hadn't just walked out on Amory and their impending marriage, but her father, as well. A tinge of guilt burned the pit of her stomach.

  The morning seemed ruined. What had started out as a nice day was over. Chayton Amory had ruined her day, for the second time in two days.

  A noisy bird followed her with song from the treetops, and she stopped to glance upward.

  "Oh, shut up, what do you know?" she hollered aloud at the songster.

  Safely back at the cabin, Kasie's anger festered. Damn Amory's hide for leaving her alone in the middle of nowhere. He expected her to find her way back. Expected her to! How could he be sure she would? Perhaps he didn't care. Perhaps he wished she'd fall off a cliff and break her neck, and he'd be done with this whole affair.

  As the day wore on, Kasie's anger thinned. She began busying herself with supper preparations. Not that she cared whether Amory ate or not, but she wanted a good meal.

  She went to the freezer and dragged out a bag marked chili. Back inside the cabin, she put it in a pan of shallow water to thaw. Could she cook? She'd show him. He had no idea what culinary delights she had learned since leaving her father.

  Once she had everything in preparation, she shrugged heavily, realizing that there was little to do. She glanced at the old trunk at the foot of the bed. She really shouldn't pry, but then, why not? He had barged back into her life, uninvited. Why shouldn't she do a little barging, too? She was just beginning to dig into it, when she heard an unfamiliar noise coming from just outside the kitchen window.

  Thinking it was Amory, she put the lid down on the trunk and went to the window.

  It seemed very still outside.

  "Okay, Amory, you can come out of those bushes now. I know you're out there," she said as she cracked the window, but heard no reply.

  Ignoring it, she started to move away when suddenly a loud rushing noise scared her, and the bushes outside gave a big heave. Out came the biggest, blue-black bear she had ever seen in her life. But then what did she know; she hadn't seen any bears except at the zoo.

  The hair on his body bristled, and his back seemed to carry a decided hump to it, like a Grizzly, even though his coloring was much darker, his nose a little longer. This had to be Ole Blue!

  "So now what do I do?" Kasie whispered aloud, as though there might be a reply.

  She tried to concentrate on his rare beauty, but his gnarling mouth opening for a tremendous roar brought her attention front and center again. Dear God, what a horrific noise!

  "Make you a deal, I'll leave you alone, if you'll do the same for me."

  He roared again, this time making eye contract with her, and eye contact with a bear could be very unsettling, she soon discovered. First and last time she wanted any contact with a bear!

  Clowns, people had often labeled them. Well, he didn't look like a clown. She'd certainly never laugh at him. No, instead he looked miserable, as though he needed some sort of understanding. Lord, now she was analyzing bears.

  The bear's natural instincts seemed to be guiding him straight for the cellar. Exactly where Amory had dressed out the game this morning. Of course, he had smelled the food and come running.

  "You can't do that," she protested aloud.

  She couldn't just stand by and watch him undo all of the repairs Amory had made. More than likely Amory would blame her for it, not the bear.

  Glancing frantically about the cabin, Kasie searched for a weapon of some kind. Any kind. Not that she'd use a gun if she had one, but she might just have to.

  The gun, she suddenly remembered was back on the trail where she had dropped it when Amory pulled his little stunt. At least Amory wasn't here to witness her cowardice.

  Ole Blue looked more hungry than angry, and she only wanted to reassure herself she wasn't on his menu.

  While she grabbed the butcher knife Amory had left on the kitchen counter, Ole Blue busied himself, trying to knock down the lean-to door. She heard his thundering paw banging against it, and the creaking of the door he made with each slam.

  If this was some kind of scare tactic on his part, it was working!

  Kasie felt her knees shaking, and tried to calm herself. Still, if she let this bear destroy the lean-to, they would be out of food, in the middle of a winter storm. She opened the refrigerator, and took out a slab of bacon. She threw it out the window, closing it quickly.

  Ole Blue glanced at the bacon, then her. For a minute it looked as though he might ignore the offering, then he lunged for it. Pawing and pulling with a roar, he devoured it like an appetizer.

  Kasie gulped hard,
feeling the knot in the back of her throat. There had to be at least a pound of bacon there, and it was gone in one big gulp. Now what? As he devoured the last tidbit, he roared again, as if to say, "Where's the rest?"

  "Pig!" He continued gorging himself. He seemed perfectly content to let her feed him, but the food supply was quickly running low. Panic began to grip Kasie, like a tight hand around her throat. Her heart began to pound in her ears; her lips beaded with sweat. What if it wasn't enough? Why hadn't she remembered all those signs along the road coming up," Don't feed the bears!"

  When every morsel was gone, Ole Blue eyed her once more. Kasie's stomach knotted till it pained her, and sweat trickled from her forehead. She couldn't keep the memory of all those bear movies out of her head.

  "Dear God, don't they bury their victims till they get hungry again? Bury them alive! Well, not without one helluva fight, he won't."

  She grabbed the big butcher knife from the sink, and gripped it tightly with one hand.

  Ole Blue took a couple of steps towards the cabin, then a shot rang out. He let out a yelp, and scampered away like a whipped pup. It all happened so fast, Kasie had to wipe her eyes to make sure she hadn't imagined it.

  Leaning against the kitchen wall, Kasie clutched her chest. She couldn't move. She hadn't realized just how scared she was until now. Her legs suddenly went to jelly. She hadn't fully recovered when the door flew open, and Amory walked in, stomping the snow from his big boots at the door, bigger than life itself.

  Without regard, Kasie threw her arms around his neck, the knife dangling from one hand, and flung herself solidly against him. He was hard as a rock, and she felt suddenly so protected.

  What a cocoon he offered, as his arms came around her. It was tempting to stay there forever. What was she thinking? Had she lost her mind? This was Amory, the man that despised her.

  "Sorry," she murmured backing away from him, her eyes not quite meeting his.

  "For what?" he asked, as his eyes blazed.

  She forgot the knife still dangling in her hand, and that she was clutching it so hard her knuckles were turning white, until his eyes lowered. She tossed it in the sink, and rubbed her hands together.

  He started to pull her back into his arms, but she pushed him away.

  "I--I don't need your comfort," she insisted, holding her head high.

  He looked as though he was summing up the situation. He stood rock still, then slowly--shook his head.

  "No, you probably don't. You're a strong woman. But you do need a scolding. My God, Kasie, feeding a bear! I'd have thought even you would know better."

  She faced him, the shock of his words like a hard slap on the face.

  How long had he been out there? Had he witnessed everything?

  "If I hadn't come back when I did, you might have been in real trouble," he added, stalking the small space between them.

  He seemed bigger than life, and more dangerous than Ole Blue.

  Kasie's emotions erupted like a volcano. She didn't know if she should throw something at this big brute, or just be thankful he came back when he did.

  "I found his den," he was saying, still pacing, not looking directly at her. "It's not far from here. Something is going to have to be done about him. Otherwise, we'll have regular visits. Especially since you decided to feed him. Now he knows exactly where to come. He'll be worse than any pet you've ever known." He glanced down at her as she blinked hard.

  "Never, I mean never, feed a bear. Because if you should fail to fill him--," he paused his eyes going over her thoroughly. "Do you understand?"

  When she said nothing, he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her until her head fell backwards.

  Hot tears stung her eyes. She wasn't afraid of him or the bear right now. No, right now she was angry. So angry that she wanted to strike out at him.

  Not once, not once had he bothered to compliment her on saving his precious lean-to. No, instead he was reprimanding her for feeding an obviously hungry old bear. She felt like the unsung hero.

  "Listen," she said squaring her shoulders and facing him, finally. One finger shot out to punch him in the chest, "you insensitive bully." She came boldly closer. "I don't need your lectures. And I won't stand here another minute listening to you rant and rave. I'm sorry I didn't do the right thing, according to Chayton Amory, the wilderness expert. But you left me here alone. Alone! Without adequate protection! I did everything, I mean everything, I possibly could think of. And for your information, I saved your damned lean-to for you."

  She was seething, the fury building within her as she approached him, and wishing she hadn't thrown the knife down so soon.

  "Saved my—"

  "So stop giving me lectures on bears."

  Disbelief registered on his face. "Why, you ungrateful little brat! I ought to turn you over my knee and blister the tar out of you. Don't you realize the danger you were in? You may not need my lectures," he stated, his voice rough and ragged, "... but you sure as hell need this ..." he muttered as he jerked her none too gently back into his arms, and his lips clamped down on hers with such finality even she couldn't fight it.

  Ice met fire! Cold met hot!

  Rampant emotions washed through Kasie like a high tide at sea. Like the tide itself, his lips washed over hers in unhurried motions. Wave after wonderful wave. Fighting and yielding became one and the same. She had to fight him, for he had stolen her heart once. He could easily do it again. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew she should be struggling against this sweet torture, but it died a slow, sizzling death. How could she fight the rightness of it? Amory was kissing her, and she blanked out everything else.

  Her mind warred with her suddenly yielding body, not ready or willing to accept her own surrender. It became a battle of the senses. Sensations whirled her into a mindless void where only lovers met.

  This was Amory, her Amory. And the right of it homed in on her. His lips were sugar and salt, sweet to the taste, and oh, so tempting, warm and moist and conquering. Only Amory could conquer her, and leave her trembling. His smell evoked images of the great outdoors, and of male dominance, of man itself. A man of the earth, he tantalized her imagination.

  Yet with surprising restraint he managed to pull away long enough to look down into her face, questioningly. His smile was like a warm blanket, possessive.

  Pride held her still for a long moment as she forced her exposed emotions under control. But she managed to capture all his attention as she wiped her still-quivering lips roughly with the back of her shirt sleeve. The hard truth of the matter was, he had said nothing to change things in reality, only in her dreams.

  As though her wiping it away could erase the exquisite memory, she thought hysterically. Nothing would be the same again, and she knew it. Despite how he affected her, she quickly realized she had to veil those thoughts of surrender. Amory didn't love her, and she had to keep remembering that. Love her? Where had that come from? He probably hated her for what she had done to him.

  The silence between them crackled with tension.

  "Kasie, I'm sorry ..." he began.

  That did it. Sorry? That brought her back to reality--fast. Sorry, of course he was sorry. He had merely forgotten who he was holding.

  "Look, I've made chili for supper, and cornbread. I'll heat it, while you get washed up." Kasie turned abruptly away and changed the subject before she said something she might regret.

  When he didn't answer, she shot him a glance over her shoulder.

  His look devoured her, making her weak in the knees, as though he still possessed her. She turned away again. She couldn't look at him. She seriously doubted she ever could again.

  But seconds later he let out a slight chuckle. "Now that's chili!"

  She did look at him. And he was smiling at her.

  She'd won. She'd been kissed by Chayton Amory and hadn't shown a sign of outward emotion. She'd proven that she could cook. She was proving all kinds of things--except to herself. So
why wasn't she elated over her victories?

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  Chapter Five

  Amory watched her from the doorway for a long moment, his mind twisting with memories best forgotten. He didn't want to remember how things were. He didn't want to think about the way she had followed him everywhere eight years ago, laughing at his jokes, listening to his hopes and dreams.

  Just the sight of this woman stirred something primitive within him. Something he didn't want to put a name to. Something he honestly never allowed himself to put a name to. Ah, hell. He knew exactly what it was, he just didn't want to admit it to himself, or to anyone else, for that matter. If the young Kasie stirred his blood, the new, mature Kasie stirred his being, making him want to protect her, love her, and be with her.