by Cynthia Dane
He was way ahead of me.
I hadn’t sat down for ten seconds before he said, “I want to kiss you.”
You know, I was fully aware of what we were going to do that night. The man hadn’t paid for a love hotel room so we could sit awkwardly on the couch and talk about our feelings. For us to get this far, he must have been thinking of me. Sexually, of course. Not that I picked up on those cues that night. Hadn’t I spent most of the night trying to read his signals and send out some of my own? So much time was spent wasting away in terrible thoughts. Thinking he didn’t like me. That he was disappointed with how I looked in real life. That he wasn’t into me. That I had completely misread what this date was about – if it even was a date.
To have this man say he wanted to kiss me the moment I sat down? I was shocked. My heart experienced a mixture of joy and wariness. He wanted to kiss me! Wait, that quickly? What about some snuggling? Some easing into it?
“Okay,” I said. Okay? Okay? Girl…
Hadrian touched my cheek and tentatively gazed upon my beautiful face before…
Before…
Yo.
You ever seen Bob’s Burgers, also known as the greatest animated show of all time? There’s this episode where eldest daughter Tina has a crush on a budding activist and is so excited to kiss him that she doesn’t even mind that this boy’s definition of kissing is literally inhaling half her face. It’s played as a gag on the show, of course. Men (or boys, in this case) can’t actually open their mouths wide enough to suck on the entirety of a girl’s face. Right?
As it turns out, I have a tiny face, and Hadrian had a huge mouth.
Jesus Christ floating in baby Moses’s basket!
There wasn’t a member of the Bible who could help me when Hadrian literally started playing a game of suck face. What I thought was going to be a sweet peck to the lips before gradually turning into something more became something straight out of an alien movie.
Hey, now, that isn’t to say I didn’t kinda like it.
A lot.
You know why I liked it, even though I could have easily ranked it as one of the worst kisses ever? Because the man had a healthy reserve of passion bottled up inside of him after all. Throughout our date I had questioned whether or not he was into me. In that moment, when his mouth grabbed my face and his hands grabbed the rest of me, I no longer wondered what he had been thinking all night. This man had definitely been thinking about fucking me!
Two things were on his side. First? That I had wanted to fuck his brains out since we started chatting online. Second? That I wasn’t big into kissing anyway. A bad kisser isn’t a deal breaker for me. Now, a dude who can’t fuck a girl right? Get outta here.
Here was hoping Hadrian more than made up for it.
“We go to bed,” he growled in my ear. Yeah, you read that right. He growled. How long had this side of Hadrian been lurking inside of him, waiting to burst? How much self-control had he practiced until he felt it absolutely safe to go crazy on me? Because that was the strength of a hundred men yanking me off the couch and hauling me three whole steps to the bed so low to the ground that I had to experience a decent fall to get on it.
I had never been manhandled like that before! It was freakin’ awesome!
If I had even the slightest question as to whether or not Hadrian wanted me, I no longer had to wonder. This man was breathing my skin as if he had been yearning to all night. His hands were on my breasts before I had the chance to show them off. When he wasn’t indulging in every inch of my body, he attempted to yank his clothing off. Already!
“Wow,” he continued to whisper the more he touched and undressed me. “Wow.”
As much as sex feels good, the emotional validation it offers is almost better than the physical. What’s better than a partner who makes you feel like the hottest, most fantastical woman in the world? Few people have been able to make me feel that way. Hadrian was so far up there in such a short amount of time that I couldn’t help but wonder if I was his ultimate type. Me! Your average American girl who was a Size 10 on a good day… but at least I had the tits and hips to make it count, I guess. Hadrian was obviously a breast guy. He couldn’t get enough of squeezing them through my sweater and was keen on getting them out of those clothes.
I took off my sweater. He yanked down my neon yellow bra strap, eyes locked on the writing etched within.
“V… S…”
Really? He was reading my bra strap? When he could be taking off his (and my) pants? “Victoria’s Secret,” I said. It was one of their best sports bras ever. The comfiest bra in the world! (So, you know, it was immediately discontinued and I will wear them until they literally fray off my body.) “Do you know?”
“No,” he said. The strap yanked down my arm, his eager mouth lunging for the tops of my breasts as they emerged from my bra. Yeah, buddy, I sure as hell didn’t care about my bra brand either.
Fun thing about sleeping with a man who doesn’t speak the same native language as you? The shit they say in the heat of the moment. Was it Greek? Turkish? Kurdish, for fuck’s sake? I have no idea. I know the differences between those languages, but I was so drunk on the fact I was getting laid that I couldn’t make out any non-English sounds in that moment. I didn’t need to, anyway. Whatever he said, the intention was clear. “You are so fucking hot.”
“You like?” I asked. He must have, because his face was like a kid’s in a toy shop when he pulled my bra off and unleashed the mighty D-cups I’ve packed around since I was fourteen. His next goal was to take off my pants. I wished him luck as he took on my complicated belt and the buttons beneath.
“Yes, I like.” Growl more, Hadrian! Turn me on until I’m begging you to tear me up! Yank off my pants and fuck me like the man you are! The man who had been such a gentleman up until this moment. Although, as I’m sure a lot of you ladies will agree, sometimes the biggest gentlemen are those who ravage your pussy with your pleasure in mind. (Theirs is a bonus. A guaranteed bonus as long as they’re making their lady come so hard her cunt practically rips his dick off his body. Yeah, Hadrian knew what was up, and it wasn’t just that bulge in his tight jeans.) “You’re so… so…” He faltered, bless him. “Güzel kadın.”
I had no idea what that meant, friends, but I can assure you that it was Turkish. Unequivocally the hottest Turkish I had heard in my life, because I wasn’t turned on enough!
This man was going to worship every curve on my body. He was going to growl against my skin and turn into the sort of enamored idiot that makes you feel better about being one as well. Because if he was losing his mind over my disrobement? I wasn’t faring much better as he ripped off his T-shirt and showed me his muscular form, chest peppered in dark, curly hairs that begged me to run my fingers through them.
I may have been a little too eager. The man’s hands were barely on his belt when I yanked him down and blew his mind with some tonguing. To his ear. His surprised laughter made it worth it.
“You are fun.” I don’t think I’ve seen pants come off a guy so quickly. “Can I see?” His fingers were on the hem of my underwear. As if he had to ask.
(The fact he did ask was hot, though.)
“Yes.” Did he need help? I could get my underwear off faster than he could blink. Or I could enjoy a man doing it for me. Either way, they were coming off.
“Wow,” Hadrian continued to say. “Holy…”
Yes. I had a rockin’ bod, if I do say so myself. Oh, I’ve had plenty of shitty dates attempt to inform me that I’m too fat for my own good, but their opinions are far from mattering. I’ve spent most of my life admiring myself in the mirror, stretchmarks, wrinkles, moles and all. I’ve got flab. I’ve got spots. I’ve got everything most women have and are told to get rid of so men will find them attractive. Well, if this random man I met online could think every curve of my body was the hottest one he ever came across? Nobody’s negative opinion mattered! Not from my past, and definitely not in my future… because who gav
e a flying fuck when I would always have this experience to look back on?
Like the moment his head thumped against my abdomen, his face completely enveloped in what made me me. I knew he was getting his fill, all while sticking his hand down his boxer shorts. Come on, man, let me see!
He sat up, drunk on my scent. At least it gave him the confidence / I don’t give a fuck to pull down his boxers and show me one of the most glorious cocks I had ever seen in my twenty-nine years.
“Sorry my dick is small,” he said with a chuckle.
Small! Small?
Sorry my dick is small?!?!??!
Ladies. Ladies.
Bear with me.
Did I not say that Hadrian had one of the finest cocks to ever grace my vision? And, ladies, you know that size isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. How many of you have dealt with a guy who has a huge cock – and knows it? Half of them rest on their laurels thinking that thing is going to do all the work for them. The other half of the time you’re begging for sex to be over so that thing will stop making you hate everything, because it hurts.
Hadrian did not have a monster cock. He was hardly a pencil dick, either.
I’m a woman who needs certain, uh, size to be completely satisfied, although the skill of the guy is definitely a part of the equation as well. I was down for, well, going down on that cock the moment it sprang from his boxer shorts. I won’t give you exact dimensions. Know that it was enough to stimulate my imagination while also keeping me from slamming my legs shut in ah hell nah.
Basically, I wanted that thing inside of me. Yesterday. God knew my body was screaming for a hot guy to stick his dick in me and fuck me until I begged for clemency. I wanted to take a shot and toast to my shitty neighbor who spent most of my best sleeping hours fucking his girlfriend. Actually, no. He wasn’t a part of this picture!
It was my turn to get some!
Lest we forget I was with a total guy, though, Hadrian must have picked up on what I was telecasting to the universe – because that unwrapped dick sent straight from God on its circumcised (and did I mention very, very well-groomed) platter was ready to plunge into some greedy depths.
Did I or did I not go on a great condom hunt earlier that day? I didn’t have time for these unprotected shenanigans, no matter how many guys thought they were slick as grease going for the bareback experience. Like, I know how tempting my pussy probably looked, dude. How about you not knock me up, though?
“Wait!” Not a word I had wanted to utter that night. Especially with my legs spread open and that tantalizing cock only inches away from giving me what I craved. “We need condom.” Yes, folks, when my body is shaking in immediate sexual need, my English takes a crap as well.
“Ah…” I know, Hadrian, that wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Tough shit, right? He reached up and grabbed the bowl of condoms on the headboard. “It’s necessary, yes?”
“Afraid so.”
“I don’t like.” Nevertheless, he unwrapped one. You know what’s hot? Watching a guy grab his cock and unroll a condom over it. Gets me every time!
“Too bad.” My legs were still shaking. Pretty sure if he didn’t grab my thighs and fuck me senseless soon I was going to riot. How long did it take to put on a condom? “I need it.”
“Okay, okay.”
That was the thing about Hadrian. He was a total man through and through. Apparently he spent most of the evening planning how he was going to get me into bed. He insisted on playing the role of the provider, including his decisions to order food without my input. He was totally going to shove his dick in me, a random woman he met on the internet, without protection – without even discussing protection. I wish I could say he was not the norm… but y’all know how it is with men, particularly younger men. They think they’re so slick!
But… and this was the important thing. Even with his moments of total Dude Stupidity, Hadrian never once made me feel pressured. He was respectful throughout most of our date, to the point I feared he didn’t like me at all. He sought my confirmation and consent so many times that I wondered if he got off on it.
Later, I would realize how good I had it. Not only that this guy was willing to go to town on me, but that he was hot and considerate. How often does that happen in our lives? I’m so used to relaying and hearing my own share of horror stories.
But I digress. You don’t care about that. You care about how the man fucked.
Keep in mind that I was so needy that even the most mediocre of men would have satisfied me to some extent. Not to say I was craving a mediocre man. Far from it, friends. What I needed was a man who would give it to me until I didn’t know my own name anymore. I needed skill, stamina, and that same gentleman-like quality that said he was sensitive to my needs and pleasure.
So how did Hadrian do?
I may not have spoken many of the same languages he did, but I made sure he got a solid English lesson that night. Namely, I reacquainted him with the Holy Trinity from the moment that talented cock slid into me as if it were fucking meant to be.
I daresay he felt the same way. Why else did he have to latch onto my tits so he could stay upright? Too bad. I pulled him down on top of me so I could suck his face off while he fucked me.
Most men start off slow and build up rhythm. So did Hadrian, although I daresay he went from 0 to 60 a lot faster than most men do!
I am no wilting flower. I am no shy virgin who doesn’t know what her body – or a man’s – is about. When my body is craving sex, I know exactly what it needs, and how it needs it. Nothing surprises me anymore. In fact, I would like a few more surprises in the bedroom. For example, I love missionary as much as the next girl, but there are other positions a couple can do to make things, ah, deeper between them. Namely, his cock deeper in my cunt.
(You know, that cock that was apparently the most perfect size in the world? Filling me up without any of the discomfort? My body was so fucking ready that lube wasn’t on the radar. I had been ready for days!)
“So good…” he muttered on my lips.
“Yeah?” I braced myself against his shoulders. My knees could come closer to my face, right? Because a girl needed deeper penetration every day of the week. “Me too.”
That was enough to make him fuck me harder.
This? This was exactly what I needed. I needed a real man who wasn’t shy about fucking a girl shortly after meeting her. I needed a guy who had a great cock and wasn’t afraid to use it right. I needed the sensation of his cock slamming against every part of me, taking me, owning me, sending me into the fucking stratosphere until I knew what it felt like to be his. And I felt no shame thinking that. Hadrian had been more than respectful that night. The best way he could continue to respect me and my person now was to fuck it until I came so hard I completely lost my sense of self. Fuck me, use me to get off, make me come, damnit!
“Oh my God!” Was I coming already? From nothing but penetration? Yeah, that’s how needy I was that month. From the moment the first of many orgasms hit me, my body made sure that dick wasn’t going anywhere. That dick its owner dared to call small!
He stopped, but only long enough to flip me over and pull my ass into the air.
Excellent. My favorite position, and I didn’t even have to ask for it.
His hands forced my shoulders down, my face buried in the pillow as he fucked me from behind as hard as humanly possible. Every neuron in my body was on fire. The attentions of this man were going to ruin me. And thank God for that.
I had been fairly quiet that night. Not because I forced a demure demeanor that wasn’t natural to me, but because my voice is fairly squeaky and doesn’t carry well. More than once Hadrian had asked me to repeat myself because he couldn’t hear me – that and I used English he didn’t know, oops. Not now! You should hear me when I’m on the other end of a fantastic fuck. You’d think my soul was ripped straight from my body and sacrificed to angels on high. Yeah, I’m that neighbor when given a chance. Eat your heart out, Fren
ch neighbor guy.
Hadrian, on the other hand, was quiet if not energetic. But I didn’t need to hear him roar like a beast when he came. I only needed to experience his fingers pressing deep into my hips and his cock holding even deeper inside of me. It filled me one last time, unprecedented, my body knowing what was going on while my mind begged him to keep going.
“Ah…” He pulled out. I collapsed. “We go, yes?”
I was really starting to love that phrase.
Hadrian threw out the condom and fell down next to me. That hilarious demeanor of smug satisfaction on his face almost cracked me up, but I knew better than to laugh right after sex. With someone new, anyway.
“Very nice.”
Oh, no, I couldn’t contain it. I grabbed the pillow and stuffed it against my face so I could laugh.
“I shower.” Wait. Where was he going? Oh, for fuck’s sake, I bagged one of those? The kind of guy who rushes to the shower right after the deed is done? I ain’t saying I demanded cuddles the moment he came, but come the fuck on. “You go too?”
Well, I guess it was different if he invited me along…
“No, thanks.” Girl needed a breather after a roll in the hay like that. Think. Reflect. Assess whether or not she needed to go again. (I did. Oh my God, I did.)
“You sure?” Hadrian had not expected that response. He looked back at me on his way to the bathroom.
“Later.” Dude, don’t make me feel unhygienic after sex! I don’t need that shit.
He disappeared into the bathroom, the water spraying into life shortly after. I remained on the bed, breathless, replaying that excellent encounter in my head over and over. The ridiculous kisses. The way he pawed my body as if he had held back all night. The stupid smiles on his face as he experienced the birthday of his life. (You know, if it was his birthday.) Those kinds of things are what make a woman feel damn good about herself. All I had to do was show up and be myself. Hadrian had done the same thing. What was better than that?
