by Emily Camp
“What did he tell you happened?”
“You know what happened.”
“Yes, I do. But if he told you what really happened, you’d mad at him, not me.” And I was offended that she believed his side without talking to me first. “I suppose he told you the girl he was hitting on at the party when you were drunk came on to him, too.”
“What are you talking about?” Her hands balled into fists.
“He was flirting with a girl and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. But he’s a creep and you should know.”
“Seriously, Kacey?”
“Seriously what?”
“Things are different this time. We’re happy.”
“Addi.” I spoke calmly, blinking my burning eyes. “Tyler came here and pretended he was waiting on you. He’s the one who told me, and I quote, ‘there’s enough of me to go around.’”
“Stop lying.” Her voice shrieked.
“I’m not.” My heart beat faster. I still couldn’t believe she’d listened to his side of the story and not mine.
“I’m sorry you can’t keep a boyfriend for more than a week, but you don’t have to go destroy my relationships because all yours are a mess.”
Knife inserted into my chest. “You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“You’re a slut.”
“I’ve never even had sex and you know it,” I blinked.
“How do I know that? I haven’t been on all your thousands of dates.”
She could’ve punched me. It would have hurt less. “I tell you everything.” My voice cracked as I spoke.
“A second ago you said you didn’t tell me about the girl at the party.”
“Because I knew it’d hurt you.” I flailed my arms as if to make my point.
Her face contorted and she leaned forward, getting right in my face. “I thought you told me everything.”
I let out a frustrated sigh.
“I just want to know why.”
“I didn’t do it.” I said. “He’s a creep and he treats you like crap, just like your dad.”
“You wanna bring up dads now?” Her voice cracked and elevated. I didn’t really want to talk about dads. We always left that subject alone. “Where’s yours?”
“Stop.” I shook my head.
“No, tell me, Kacey.” She flung her arms wide.
“My dad isn’t here.”
“Exactly.” She said. “At least mine is. You just can’t stand that I have my dad and a long-time boyfriend who both care about me.”
I choked on the lump in my throat. “They both treat you like dirt.”
“Relationships are work, and you have to compromise.” She screamed. “You wouldn’t know anything about that.”
I flinched and squeezed my eyes shut. “Are you saying I don’t work?”
“Maybe I am. Isn’t that why you’re in ES? Because if it doesn’t come easily, then you’re out.”
“Is that the only reason you’re here? To tell me everything that’s wrong with me?” I shouted.
She stood at the door, white knuckling the knob. “I don’t know why I’m here. I’ve tried.” When she slammed my door, it rattled the pictures on the wall.
She tried? What did she try? She came in here accusing me before she even heard my side of the story. I threw myself face first on my bed. I never thought that Addi would turn on me like this. She’d always been in my corner. Believed in me, the one person who stuck up for me when people whispered. The one person who stood by me when the rumors about Nolan ran rapid. All because of a stupid boy. One that I could see through, but she couldn’t.
***
“Love makes us blind.” My mom said when we were curled up on the sofa a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream between us. “I was young when I married your dad. Looking back there were so many red flags that I completely ignored.”
“I don’t ignore red flags.” I swiped my eye.
“No, but Addi is.” She dipped her spoon in the ice cream. “You two have been friends forever. This won’t last.”
“But the things she said.” My voice cracked. I didn’t tell my mom everything. She was my mom after all. If there was even a chance that Addi and I were ever going to be friends again, my mom didn’t need to know it all.
“Best friend break ups are the hardest.”
“Why do boys have to ruin everything?”
She giggled softly. She was still in the honeymoon stage of her relationship, but this was more than butterflies and tingles. This was a real friendship destroyed because of a boy.
“They don’t ruin everything. Yes, your dad leaving us sucked, but I got you and Gavin from it.” She ran her hand over my hair, tucking a piece of it behind my ear.
My phone chimed and I hurried to look at it. Even though I still hated Addi, I wanted her to make an effort. To reach out and realize that she made a mistake.
It was Jack. Just checking to see if you need help on that paper.
I do … but it’s Christmas break. I sent back.
Won’t hurt to get ahead on it. He replied.
Thanks, but no thanks.
“Addi,” my mom asked.
I shook my head. “Jack.”
“I thought you were out of Educational Support,” she said.
“I am.” I lifted my phone, “He’s helping me with a paper.”
“Are you doing homework over break?”
“No, but Jack wants me to.”
“Hmm.” She put the spoon in her mouth.
“Hmm, what does hmm mean?”
“Nothing.” She pulled the spoon out, then dipped it into the ice cream.
“Not nothing.”
“He likes you.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I threw my head back and looked at the ceiling.
“He’s making an excuse to text you.”
“His parents work all the time. He doesn’t have many friends. He’s probably bored.” Even that sounded dumb coming out of my mouth. I didn’t even take into account all the sports he played and the extra things he did like the games he reffed.
“If he was bored, he could work on his own homework.”
“Mom.” I groaned, “We’re just friends, that’s it.”
“I like him,” she said.
“Of course, you like him. He did the dishes.” He definitely gained brownie points for that.
“Yes, I do hate doing dishes,” she smiled before slurping more ice cream off the spoon. “But it’s more than that. He’s a good guy.” Then she pointed the spoon at me. “I know what you’re thinking, that good guys are boring.”
That wasn’t at all what I was thinking. “Jack’s my friend. I don’t want that to change.”
“Ah, the friend zone. Poor guy.” She dipped her spoon in the carton again, the ice cream beginning to look more like a milkshake after sitting between us.
“He doesn’t even like me like that.” I didn’t know why we were having this conversation. There were only 101 reasons why Jack and I were a bad idea. But it wasn’t like I wanted it either.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Gavin tore through his gifts in record speed. A new game system with the newest Star Wars game. Mom and I neither one were tech savvy. I looked and turned things over, examined cords and read directions, but nothing made sense to me.
“Why don’t you see what Jack’s doing? Didn’t you say his parents work holidays? Maybe he wants to have dinner with us,” my mom said, cradling her coffee as she watched me try to figure this out from the sofa.
“I don’t know.” I lifted a cord and stared at the side of the television.
“I just want to play.” Gavin collapsed dramatically to the floor.
“We’ll get it, sweetie.” My mom patted him on his messy hair.
“Really?”
“I would call Evan and Greg if they were in town.” She lifted a shoulder. “Please call Jack.”
“Fine.” Who woul
d have ever thought that I’d buck when my mom wanted me to call a boy? I stood up and swiped across Jack’s name. What if he was in the middle of spending time with his family? This was dumb. I looked back at Gavin who stared up at the ceiling like he was half dead.
“Hello?” A scratchy voice answered just as I was getting ready to give up.
“I’m sorry.”
“Kacey?”
“Jack?”
“What’s … what’s up?”
“I’m sure you’re busy. It’s Christmas.”
“Parents are working.”
“So … you’re alone?” Oh my, I didn’t realize how bad that sounded till after it came out of my mouth.
“It would seem so. Why?”
I cleared my throat. “Well see, my mom … she bought a new game system for Gavin and we’re kind of um … video game hook up illiterate.”
“Are you asking me over on Christmas?”
“Only if you don’t make me do school work.”
He laughed and I felt it in my belly. “You haven’t even worked on that paper yet.”
“That’s because it’s called a break. You know what a break from school is?”
This only made him laugh again, he really needed to stop doing that.
“My mom said she’d feed you.”
“I have to meet my parents at the hospital food court later.”
“Oh, if you can’t, that’s okay.”
“Tell Gavin I’m on my way.”
“Thank you.” I hung up, then turned toward Gavin. “Jack will get it for you.”
Gavin popped up, suddenly full of life, when a minute ago he was playing dead. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t mention about how dad should have been here, though I wanted to.
I suddenly realized I looked like morning. My hair was a mess. I didn’t have a bit of makeup on. The Christmas pajamas, plaid pants I’ve had for years that had holes in the knees and a puke green sweatshirt, made it look like I was headed to an ugly Christmas outfit party.
“I’ll be right back.” I said as I ran up the stairs.
My mom chuckled.
“Where’s she going?” Gavin asked.
“To get pretty for Jack,” My mom replied.
“Am not,” I called down the stairs.
***
Once showered, I pulled my wet hair in a bun, and tossed on my new leggings and sweatshirt that my mom gave me that morning. After that, I dusted my face with powder and threw on mascara and lip gloss.
By the time I made it downstairs Jack was already here on his knees messing with cords around the television. Gavin perched beside him. Jack got here quick. I wondered how close he lived.
Gavin squinted up at me when he heard me barrel down the steps. “You don’t look pretty.”
“Gavin,” mom gasped.
“You look like a turd yourself,” I strode into the room.
Jack peered up at me over the rims of his glasses, “Hey,” he said, then he turned toward Gavin. “I think she looks pretty.”
Thank God for foundation and powder. I was sure my cheeks were flaming red underneath. My mom made a noise and nudged me.
“She got pretty for you,” Gavin said in his squeaky voice.
“Gavin,” I spat, then looked at my mom wide-eyed.
“What?” He peered at us. “That’s what mom said.”
I was glad I wasn’t the only one embarrassed by this, because Jack didn’t look up from what he was doing. The back of his neck turned a shade of pink under the speckle of freckles trailing to his ear that I had never noticed before. Why would I have? It wasn’t like I had a habit of staring at his neck. And I really needed to stop staring at it now.
“Okay, motor mouth, let’s get breakfast,” mom said.
“Why?” Gavin whined. “But my game.”
“It’ll be ready when you’re done,” Jack said.
“But …” Gavin breathed heavy as if he was hyperventilating. He was so dramatic sometimes.
“Christmas breakfast is the best.” Jack said.
“Come on, Gav,” My mom said in her warning voice.
Gavin stuck out his bottom lip, then stomped toward the kitchen, sticking his tongue out at me on his way. I returned the gesture.
“Kacey.” My mom warned. Yeah, I was aware I was acting like a ten-year-old. My little brother brought that out of me sometimes.
Now it was me and Jack. For the first time since he started tutoring me, I didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, my bright red sparkly Christmas nails were interesting. At least it wasn’t an awkward silence since my mom had Christmas carols on in the background. It was just awkward, especially after he said I looked pretty and Gavin basically said I put my makeup on for him.
“All done.” Jack finally said, putting the system on the shelf we’d cleared. He sat back. His long legs bent in front of him. He turned and looked at me with a grin on his face.
“Thanks. My mom would have called her boyfriend, but he’s out of town.”
“Evan’s dad?” He tilted his head and wrinkled his brow.
“Yeah.”
“Lucky me.” His smile grew bigger.
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.
“Because, now I get to eat.” He put a hand on his stomach.
“Did you make weight?”
“I’m close enough and we don’t have a meet until next week.”
We made our way to the kitchen. Pancakes were one of the few things my mom could cook. She went all out at Christmas, buying whipped cream, chocolate syrup, fresh fruit, and sprinkles.
“Good news,” Jack slid into the seat next to Gavin. Where he’d sat last time as if that was his chair. He grabbed one of the plates stacked beside the pancakes and poked a fork in several and put them on his dish.
He looked up. My mom and I were watching him. His face turned pink again.
“Sorry, did I take too many?” He began to put some back.
“Absolutely not.” My mom motioned for him to keep them. “There’s plenty.”
Abashed, he looked down at his food. It must be from the weeks he’d spent starving himself to make weight. Now he was on a binge.
“Thank you so much for hooking up the game.” My mom slid into her chair.
“I was just going to sleep in and eat cereal this morning.”
“Your parents don’t have today off?”
He shook his head. “They get an extra day off next week for volunteering to work a double and I’m going to have dinner with them later.” He didn’t seem like it bothered him, but to me that felt sad that he would’ve been alone if it wasn’t for us.
***
I couldn’t believe it when Jack spent the entire day with us. He volunteered to do my mom’s dishes, but she didn’t let him this time. Then he played Gavin’s game with him, helping him figure out the hard stuff.
I checked my phone several times, hoping to hear from Addi. I couldn’t remember a year we didn’t talk to each other after we opened gifts. The sofa dipped beside me.
“You okay?” Jack asked. Gavin now deep into his game.
“Addi and I had a fight.”
“What happened?”
I sighed and turned toward him. “Tyler told her I hit on him.”
“Why would she believe him?”
I had to admit, I was happy he didn’t just assume that Tyler was telling the truth.
“I don’t know.” I said, but I didn’t want to talk about it. Not really. “It sucks, but I guess she loves him. What am I to do?”
He thought about it for a minute. Gavin’s game going on in front of us. Jack fidgeted. I looked at him. He scratched the freckles on his neck. His knee bounced.
“Thanks again,” I pointed toward Gavin. “That means a lot.”
“Not a problem at all.” He bobbed his head, staring at the television. He opened his mouth and shut it, and then turned toward me and said. “Would you want to come with me to have dinner with my parents?”
> “Me?” I looked over my shoulder even though I knew there was no one else he was talking to in my house.
“I mean,” he shuffled his feet and turned back to the television. “You don’t have to.”
“I’ll go if you want me to,” I wanted him to want me to. I wanted to go. I wanted to see what his parents were like and if I was being honest, I wasn’t ready for my day with him to be over yet.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Walking into the hospital made me sad, not for Jack and his family, but the families that were in here because someone was sick. It would be horrible to be ill on the holiday. Jack led the way to the food court. It smelled like ham and home-cooked something. A regular Christmas feast and I had to admit, my stomach growled. Jack didn’t seem to hear over the clatter of hospital staff and family of patients that occupied the space.
He grabbed a tray.
I followed his lead. “Is this how you normally spend the holidays?”
It was just like the cafeteria at school.
We went down the line, “Sometimes my grandparents come in.” He said to me, then he turned to the cafeteria lady, “Ham, please.”
She made him a plate and handed it over.
“Same.” I said when she looked at me.
I sat the plate in the middle of my tray.
“But yeah, this is usually our holiday meal.” He grabbed an apple juice out of the cooler then held one up for me. I nodded and he placed it on my tray.
“What were you going to do all day today?”
“Sleep, play video games, work out.”
We stepped up to the cashier. I shoved my hand in my pocket for my cash, but Jack paid for me, after introducing me to her. Miss Grable? I think he said. I wasn’t sure because I could barely think over my heart thrumming in my ears. He paid for me? That was kind of date-ish.
He sat in a booth in the back. I hesitated and looked over my shoulder. “Aren’t we meeting your parents?”
“They’ll be here.”
I wasn’t sure what to do. If I sat across from him then that would mean I would be sitting by one of his parents, but if I sat beside him with no one else in the booth across from us, it felt intimate.
