Would he find me pretty now?
By the time Conrad emerged from the bathroom, I’d painted my toenails and donned my new sandals. His long black hair was still wet. He’d bound it in a ponytail. He wore jeans and a black t-shirt, but looked like he should be wearing buckskin breeches.
He was a beautiful man with an easy smile. It had to be my fault that he’d never married. I felt the urge to apologize, but knew he’d just admonish me for saying sorry too often.
Maybe it was the vast difference in size that garnered us so much attention. Or maybe we just made a striking couple. Or it could have been our bronze skin and jet black hair in a sea of white people. Whatever the reason, more than one head turned to follow our progress as we made our way to the diner. My delight at finding Charlie already there was tempered by his companion.
“Neena!” His face lit up when he saw me. He rose to greet us “Conrad. Good to see you again.”
“You as well,” Conrad nodded slightly.
“Hey Charlie,” I bit my lip nervously. “We didn’t mean to disrupt you.”
“Nonsense. Come on, let me introduce you. Sheriff Taylor, this is Neena Allen and her brother Conrad.”
“Good to meet you,” the middle-aged man’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“You too, sir,” I tried not to sink back into Conrad too much.
“What brings you to our little town?”
“Visiting my sister,” Conrad answered and I hoped the line of questioning would end there.
“We’ll let you two get back to your conversation,” I smiled at them both politely. “We’ll see you later, Charlie… Sheriff Taylor…”
“Enjoy your breakfast,” Charlie eyed me like he was trying to decide what I was up to.
“Thank you,” Conrad nodded. I’d already scampered away like a frightened bunny.
“You played that real cool, sis,” sarcasm dripped from his voice.
I shrugged guiltily and we turned our attention to the menu. I was sipping my coffee and eagerly anticipating a short stack of pancakes when Charlie slipped up beside me to kiss my cheek.
“You look amazing today,” he whispered against my ear. “You just keep getting prettier every day.”
“Thank you,” I flushed and did my best to hide my face, hoping Conrad hadn’t heard him. From his smirk, I assumed he had.
“Have lunch with me today.”
“We’d planned on working at your house today if you don’t mind,” it occurred to me I should have asked sooner.
“Sure, sure,” he reached in his pocket to produce his keys. “I’ll swing by about noon with some lunch.”
“I can make something,” I offered, accepting the house key he’d pulled off the ring.
“Nah. I’m in the mood for barbeque. I’ll bring some pulled pork home and we can make sandwiches.”
“Okay,” I leaned my face into his hand and smiled.
“See you then,” he smiled back before turning his attention to Conrad. “Have a good day, sir. Don’t let her abscond with the family silver.”
Conrad gave a nod and cheerfully informed Charlie that he’d do his best. I’d have been irritated, but it was cute seeing them get along.
“Well that was a homey little scene,” Conrad lifted an eyebrow and pinned me with an amused gaze. “If Ben could see you now…”
“Don’t you dare,” I rolled my eyes.
“That poor boy tried so hard to get your attention.”
“So how come no one’s caught your attention yet?”
“We don’t really need to talk about that now.”
“Then we don’t need to talk about Benjamin Carter, do we?”
“So we’re harvesting dandelions today, eh?”
I smiled and thanked the waitress for the plate of pancakes she set in front of me. When we were alone again, he leaned towards me and lowered his voice.
“Do you know what happens after dandelion season?”
“Not really,” I thought about it for a second while I took a bite of pancakes. “I was thinking about using some of the money I make from the dandelions to get some of the tools I’d need to make jewelry in the winter.”
“So, you plan on just living from season to season?”
“I can’t exactly apply for vet school. Technically I can’t even apply for a job right now,” I reminded him in a low voice.
“True,” he let the subject drop while we finished our breakfast. When we were alone in his truck, he brought it back up. “You need papers.”
“I know,” I stared out the window. That thought had been nagging me for a while.
“Let me see what I can do,” he seemed to be mulling over the possibilities. “You’re going to need a place to live, too.”
“I’m working on it. I appreciate the time in the motel. Anjelita and Manny have been amazing, but I can’t stay on their couch forever.”
“If you find a place and you need help, let me know.”
“Are you Daddy Warbucks all of a sudden?”
“We do okay,” he shrugged. “I can help you get on your feet.”
“I don’t need you to save me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I mean it. You don’t have to do this. I’m headed in the right direction now.”
“I know you are. This’ll just get you there a little faster. Besides, you deprived me the satisfaction of cracking Todd Winslow in the skull. You owe me this.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say,” I slapped his arm.
“Well you did,” he replied defensively.
I rested my head against the window and watched the scenery pass by. There was no sense arguing with him. He seemed determined to make me out into some sort of damsel in distress. It was a little frustrating. Of course, it was also nice to have clean clothes and a room of my very own.
The morning passed quickly with Conrad working at my side. We covered twice the ground I had with Charlie. Conrad had spent just as many hours as I helping our mama and grandmother harvest dandelions as a child. Sometimes we reminisced about childhood. Sometimes he filled me in on current gossip from home. Whenever conversation veered to Gabrielle, his face would light up but inevitably fall.
“You’d like her, you know.”
“Don’t,” I stood and stretched my aching back.
“Why not? Don’t you at least want to see her?”
“The day they took her out of my arms, it felt like a piece of me had been ripped out. It was the single most excruciating moment of my life. But it’s done and she’s happy now and I won’t take that from her.”
“She wonders who you are. Why you left her.”
“That’s better than knowing the truth.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure about that.”
“Come on; let’s get these processed before Charlie gets back.”
Conrad gave me a look that said he knew I was just ducking the subject but he was going to let me off the hook for the time being. I figured I’d take what reprieve I could get. Truth was, I was dying to know what she looked like… what kind of person she’d become. I just remembered a big-eyed baby with a head full of black hair that stuck out in every direction. She’d been a little disproportionate; her eyes and mouth seemed too big for her head. I was pretty sure she would have grown into those by now.
Conversation turned to Mary O’Donnell and Conrad’s first visit. We rehearsed his story and discussed when his visit should be. We had that ironed out and had gone on to what semi-precious stones were indigenous to the area and what would be best for making jewelry. That’s the discussion Charlie came home to.
“What? Are you through with dandelions already?” he teased as he set his briefcase on the counter.
“I have to do something with all the silver I’m heisting from you. It melts down nicely,” I made a face at him.
“Good to know.”
“Just planning ahead, actually,” I relented. “Dandelions have a great growing season, but I don’
t want to go all winter without income.”
“So you’re planning on sticking around, then?”
“Looks like it,” I was startled by his question. He seemed pleased by my response, which got me even more flustered.
“You guys got a lot done,” Charlie let out a low whistle as he surveyed the rows of jars lining his dining room tables. “Good thing Rita said you could bring a few jars by the diner this afternoon.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he broke into a broad grin. I could feel a matching smile spreading across my face. “She said if you’d make up some smaller jars to put on the tables as samples, she’d let you set up a display at the counter. Just to see how it goes.”
“That’s amazing! Did you hear that, Conrad?”
It was a little victory, but it felt much larger. My enthusiasm permeated lunch. Any animosity Charlie and Conrad still felt for each other seemed to dissipate over the course of the next hour. By the time Charlie headed back to his office, I was deliriously happy. My world seemed more right than I ever thought possible.
That evening, Conrad met the Torres family. Isabel was fascinated, declaring him the tallest man she’d ever seen. Anjelita was instantly determined to find him a soul mate. Manny was happy to have someone new to discuss carpentry with. Mamá Torres was delighted to have a new boy to fuss over.
All in all, the evening was a success. The only damper was Anjelita’s concerned frown when I told her I’d be moving out. I’d expected her to be happy to be rid of the fixture on the couch. Instead, she’d frowned and insisted, “You have to promise to come to dinner at least once a week.”
“Absolutely. At least,” I assured her with a hug. Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly rolling in cash and the hotel room only had a microwave and mini fridge. The dinners would be welcome.
“Will you be by tomorrow?” Charlie walked me to the door.
“Bright and early,” I nodded. We stood there awkwardly for a moment, a little unsure how to part. “I guess I’d better get going.”
“Conrad looks ready to leave without you,” he agreed.
“He’s got a long drive tomorrow. Well, bye.”
“Goodnight.”
I felt a little out of sorts as I fumbled with the truck door. Conrad’s look of amusement didn’t sit well with me so I stuck my tongue out at him.
“I’m really glad you called,” he surprised me with his sudden declaration.
“Are you really?” My heart lifted just a little. “You don’t hate me?”
“Even when I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t hate you. I certainly don’t now. I’m glad you called.”
“I’m glad you came.”
“Me too.”
Silence descended over us. I was going to miss him when he went home. It occurred to me that I would be living alone the next day. Other than my time wandering in the woods, I’d never really lived alone before. It made me wish I had a really big guard dog, but the motel probably wouldn’t like that too much.
Conrad decided to get a shower before bed so he could get an earlier start the next morning. I could tell he was anxious to get back to Gabrielle. I had just curled up in my pretty pink pajamas when there was a knock at the door.
“Neena… it’s me,” I heard Charlie call through the door as I searched for something to slide on over my PJs.
When I realized it was him, I stopped searching and opened the door. He came in and looked around the room as if to verify we were alone.
“You have my house key,” he reminded me.
“Oh, sorry,” I guiltily went to look through my shorts pockets. “Here you go.”
“Thanks,” he seemed to be deliberating something as he paused. “I didn’t really say a proper goodnight earlier.”
“Is that so?”
“It is,” he pulled me to him, kissing me like he’d been thinking about it all day. Or maybe it just felt that way because I had been thinking about it all day. Either way, we were both so intent on the kiss we didn’t notice the water had turned off. It wasn’t until Conrad spoke that we jumped apart like two teenagers busted by their parents.
“I swear I can’t leave you alone for even a minute.”
“It’s his fault,” I jerked my thumb in Charlie’s direction.
“I’m sure it is,” Conrad’s eyes gave away his amusement. It was moments like these that I felt the strongest glimmer of hope for a normal life. Or rather, it felt almost like the ten-year nightmare hadn’t happened.
Chapter Nine
My life settled into a pleasant, steady rhythm in the months after Conrad’s visit. I went everyday to Charlie’s house to make dandelion jelly and coffee. The jars of jelly began selling from Rita’s countertop. Slowly at first, then quickly enough I had to harvest six days a week to meet the demand. Word about the jelly spread and soon the coffee was sitting on the counter at the general store. Of course, I always sold both from the Torres vegetable stand and split the day’s profit with them.
It didn’t take long at all for me to save enough to buy some basic tools so I could start stringing jewelry. If I wasn’t actively making something with dandelions, I was stringing rocks and semi-precious stones into necklaces and bracelets.
Conrad didn’t have good news from his visit with Mary. It could have been worse, but I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was worried about her. Worried about her, and even more upset after having caught a glimpse at what my life had been.
I don’t know how he did it, but the week after Conrad called to tell me I was right to be concerned Mary being alone in prison, he called to say he’d found her a lawyer and they were appealing her sentence. I hated to see him spending resources on something else I’d drug him into, but maybe they could get Mary out of that place. So I bit back any protest and let him try.
My relationship with Anjelita and her family deepened. They were such an integral part of my life I couldn’t imagine a day without them. Anjelita became the sister I’d never had. I’d like to think she felt the same way about me.
There through it all was Charlie. I saw him every day and still it felt like it was never enough. The more time I spent with him, the more the craving grew. He’d stopped asking me about my past and I started to get over the guilt for not telling him. The more time passed, the easier it was to forget who I was or where I’d come from. I stopped plaguing myself with questions about “should I” and just allowed myself to be pulled further and further out to sea by the tide on a rather comfy boat.
I’d even let myself get sucked in where Cara was concerned. At first I was drawn to her as I was Isabel, because I much preferred her outlook on life to many adults. Then I found myself offering to pick her up from the Torres place to help Charlie out. If she was sick, she stayed with me so Charlie didn’t have to cancel appointments. Next thing you know, we were almost as inseparable as her father and I. When school started, I walked her home as often as her daddy did.
Charlie was the consummate gentleman with me. When passion did flare to the point I was sure we’d combust into a raging inferno, Cara inevitably woke with a bad dream. Or I’d flip out and run away rather than crack him over the head with the nearest heavy object. All things considered, he took it in stride.
The thing is—it was just so… comfortable. Charlie, Cara, Anjelita, Manny… even Rita at the diner was warming up to me. Probably because she was making extra money off the jelly she’d set on the counter as a favor to Charlie. It wasn’t just her, though. The town was opening up to me. Even the single women of the fair hamlet were becoming accustomed to my presence at Charlie’s side. It was a dream come true. Better, I guess, because I never would’ve dared to dream of a life like this.
I have to say—nothing will splash cold water on your face quite like a marriage proposal.
I should have seen it coming when Charlie asked Anjelita and Manny to baby-sit before driving two towns away for dinner. After a nice candlelit meal, we wandered the little town square hand
in hand, watching the stars and talking about not much of anything in particular. And then, right there in front of God and everybody, he dropped to one knee.
“Neena Torres-Allen,” he began playfully. He never had given up calling me a Torres. “I have fallen hopelessly and madly in love with you over these past few months. Please say you’ll marry me.”
I could feel my heart crumble into a million little shards at the sincere and hopeful look on his face. This was a lie even I couldn’t swallow. I was a stupid, hateful person for letting it get this far.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see that a crowd had gathered. Hurting him would be bad enough. Hurting him in front of an audience just wasn’t even an option. I pulled him to his feet and stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss that I hoped would convey the thousand-and-one things running through my mind at that very moment. I heard scattered applause. I could only hope the crowd was dispersing.
“Is that yes?” he cupped my face in his hands and searched my eyes.
“That is ‘I love you more than you could ever know’ and a ‘can we talk in private?’” I grasped him by the chin and pulled him to me for another kiss.
“What was that one?” he asked warily, resting his forehead against mine. “It seemed sad.”
“That one was ‘if you really knew me, maybe you wouldn’t love me’,” I admitted, clasping his neck and drinking in the heat rolling off his body.
“I know you better than you think,” he promised. “And it makes me love you more.”
“No, Charlie. I haven’t been honest with you.”
“Then be honest with me now.”
I briefly weighed the options. While I didn’t expect him to turn me in, there was a danger in people knowing who I was. I’d already taken too many chances. How many more before I wound up back in prison with my newfound dreams ripped from my grasp? I took a deep breath.
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