At the same time, it hadn’t been the kind of existence she longed for. Yes, she was contributing, but was the throbbing of her damaged hands worth it all?
A tense moment passed before Grace finally gave in.
“I don’t know what I was thinking when I got onboard that ship in Kingston,” she confessed pitifully. “All those things you said about my heart being far away, it was true. I didn’t want to stay with my father anymore, but any suitor that came along would be content to lock me away in some mansion or force me to be part of a world I don’t want to live in. Being a sailor on a ship is better than a life spent between four walls.”
In her outpouring, James came closer until they were well within arm’s reach of one another. She thought he would grab her and hold her close as he did when they reunited in the tavern, but he didn’t even try.
“You want to be free,” he plainly stated. “That’s what every living, breathing thing on this earth wants. There’s nothing wrong with it.”
Grace felt her nose sting with impending tears, but she refused to let her bottom lip so much as quiver as she stared up at him. He might have elicited that confession from her, but he would get no more.
“Have you told your father how you feel?” he questioned, and she resented the slight tonal shift as if he were talking to a child.
“Not in so many words,” she replied stiffly.
“Then you should,” he said with a nod. “And I’ll do my duty by making sure you get to Kingston safely so you can tell him yourself.”
She rolled her eyes. “And so you can collect whatever ransom you had in mind.”
James gave a half-hearted shrug. “No prey, no pay. That’s how it goes when you live your life on the account as I do.”
Once again, she was reminded that he was still a pirate, a rogue and thief who was not above breaking the law and doing whatever it took to have what he wanted. He didn’t care about whatever she had to tell her father. He cared about the money. Nothing else. That’s what she wanted to believe, anyway.
She backed away and turned to regard the moon hovering over the water to the east. Its silvery rays reflected in the sea like shimmering diamonds upon a sheet of velvet.
“You really do look right proper in that dress,” he said from behind her.
A tiny smile pulled at her mouth, though she wouldn’t let him see it. “Are you just saying that to make me come out on deck?”
“I never say anything I don’t mean.” His voice dropped a subtle note, just enough so that she could feel his words vibrate in her bones. “That goes for the night we met.”
She gave a huff of a laugh, remembering how his promises to whisk her away had been so romantic and endearing then. Now, they seemed empty. “What you said that night started all this trouble. If I could go back and do things over, I would have never let you come anywhere near me.”
A few beats of silence passed and all she could hear was the constant, dull crash of the waves as the ship cut through the water.
“I wouldn’t have changed a thing,” he purred. Grace turned to see he was standing so close and she could almost smell his stale sweat. It wasn’t an altogether unpleasant scent, but rather sweet. Men weren’t supposed to smell so good after toiling away on a ship all day, but James did.
The moonlight glinted in his burning hazel eyes and it did forbidden things to her body. Grace wished she could have let herself be weak for just a moment, long enough for him to catch her so she could feel the warmth of his embrace one more time. In those eyes, she saw the invitation to be the damsel, pliable and innocent, everything that she wasn’t.
James embodied the side of society that could never be accepted. The powerful countries that ruled the Caribbean wanted him to hang from the gallows for crimes he had committed. Any woman should have been repulsed by him, but here Grace was, wanting him in all the ways she couldn’t have him. What was wrong with her?
Before she could cross that line, James moved away and cast his gaze to the floor. “I’ll have Mr. Bones bring you another meal.”
A coldness swept over Grace as the pirate crossed the floor to the door, leaving her alone again. Once he was gone, she stamped her foot and cussed aloud that she didn’t take the opportunity that was given to her. As soon as the foul word was uttered, she slapped her hand over her mouth. If her mother heard Grace say something like that, she would have been struck across the cheek. She had only been in the company of sailors for a few weeks and already they were a terrible influence in more ways than one.
Chapter 5
James could hear the heartbeats of every man aboard his ship. He could hear their soft, gentle breathing and feel the rhythmic beating of the waves against the hull beneath his bare feet as he stood at the wheel. He didn’t need to have his eyes open to know the fog was as thick as hardtack, coming up over the bowsprit and veiling the uppermost topsails above them. Still, he ordered full canvas as they continued on their way to Jamaica. The only way to sail now was by guess and by God.
Beyond the ship, out on the open water, he could hear for miles around. He could even just make out the unintelligible words of other sailors on faraway ships as they complained about the lack of visibility that morning. The sun couldn’t even cut through the mist that cloaked their vessel so completely.
He eased the wheel to port and held it there, knowing if they stayed on their present course, they would have run into a particular grouping of rocks about a mile off. He knew how far away they were because of how loud the water broke against their bases.
Fog was a bane to all pirates and sailors. Most attuned their ears to know what to look for to avoid running aground or colliding with another ship. James, because of his unique gifts, put them all to shame, and his crew knew it. The Burning Rose was perfectly safe, as long as they remained quiet. Occasionally, he’d give out an order or two and the men would either loosen some line or take it in, but other than that, every man above and below deck stood still, staring as they traveled through the dense clouds.
The pattering of feet broke through and he looked down from the quarterdeck to see who was moving without his permission. None of the men even flinched. The click of his cabin door and squeal of hinges let him know exactly who was making the noise.
Grace was staying holed up in his quarters and must have just been waking up to realize that the ship was moving, but there were no voices to let her know that it was still crawling with pirates. It had been a long time since James slept up in the crow’s nest behind the foresail. It was just how he remembered. Uncomfortable and cramped. But a young boy out on his first voyage to sea had few choices when the other crew told him to go sling his hook somewhere else when hunkering down for the night.
He could only see the top of her red hair as she stepped out and stared at the strange sight of the men just standing around, as if they were waiting for something to happen. If she had never sailed through fog before, she wouldn’t have understood that silence was the key to both stealth and survival.
She turned to face the quarterdeck and he allowed himself a tiny smile.
The night before might as well have served as one of the hardest tests he ever passed. No one was expecting him on deck and half of the men were too far in their boots to care what he and the governor’s daughter did in his cabin. The urge to take her right there in his quarters was almost too much to bear. Her scent, the way she looked to him with such need, it would have been the natural course to tear her out of that dress he bought her and do what he wanted to do the moment they met.
Still, he refused to take the bait. If he did, there was no way he would let her step foot on Jamaican soil again. James would chain her to the mast if it meant she could stay with him. Perhaps his years of conducting this sweet trade of piracy hadn’t hardened him enough. If his men were told that they wouldn’t get the cut of the ransom they deserved for putting up with a woman on board, there would be a mutiny for sure, Devil Dog or not.
If it were any othe
r woman, he might have allowed himself to have his way with her. But this wasn’t any woman. It was Grace Norrie, who was just as capable a sailor as any of his crew, though she didn’t know it yet.
She had been given a good hazing by the crew and captain on The Lady Adventure, but she bore it well. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have even made it as far as St. Thomas. He didn’t believe everything she said the night before, about regretting her decision to come to sea. Her heart still longed for the wild, for the freedom that a sailor’s life could give her. She just needed the proper guiding hand to lead her the right way. James knew he could provide such a hand, but he refused. She needed the shelter of the shore, no matter how much she deserved to be part of his crew.
James should have barked at her to go back into the cabin until the fog had cleared, but he allowed her to travel up the set of steps to the quarterdeck under the disgruntled stares of the crew. Some looked to him questioningly. If any of them so much as took a step without his approval, James would have let out a warning growl. He didn’t do that for Grace and they certainly noticed.
“Why is everyone so quiet?” he whispered as she approached the wheel.
Patrick stepped between her and James to block her path.
“It’s all right,” the captain said. The quartermaster moved out of the way, but his eyes were locked on the woman, just as Grace’s gaze fixed on Patrick with a challenging look. Yes, she had the makings of a pirate indeed. “I ask the crew to be quiet when we’re passing through fog so I can hear where we’re going.”
Grace shot him a bewildered look, but stood still, just as everyone else had.
Moments ticked by and the fog hadn’t cleared as the morning progressed. On more than one occasion, James heard the familiar sounds of a merchant ship, well within range of their canons. If he gave the gunner the right trajectory, they could have taken an easy prize, even in this haze.
James slid a glance toward Grace and he knew he couldn’t put her through such an ordeal. He didn’t think she would get in the way or sabotage the raid, but somehow, James wanted to shield her from what would happen when they hoisted their colors and sent out that warning shot across the ship’s bow.
His mind was filled with a rage of conflicting thoughts. Grace could stomach the harsh life of a sailor, yet he still wanted her to go back to Jamaica. She could probably be a useful hand on his ship, but he would have rather set her back on land where it was safe. She could be just as harsh and bold as any of his crew, and he refused to take a ship because he didn’t want her to be tempted to join the raid.
What was she doing to him?
The longer Grace stood there, the less focused he became. The chaotic, collective heartbeats of his crew were drown out by her own singular measure. Her scent overpowered even the potent smell of tar, sweat, and sea water that he had become accustomed to. His gaze kept slipping her way, watching the way tiny tendrils of red hair flickered in the breeze around her ears.
At this rate, they would run aground for sure because he couldn’t pay attention to what the sea was trying to tell him.
“Take her back to my quarters,” he mumbled to Patrick, who jumped a little too eagerly to the task. “And come back.”
A few snickers erupted from the other crew on the quarterdeck, but James allowed it. Patrick shot him a disconcerted look, as if to say there was no chance in hell that he’d stay alone with the lass longer than need be.
Grace, on the other hand, jerked her arm away from the quartermaster before he had a chance to grab her. Her blue eyes, so dazzling and alluring, turned cold as she sneered at the pirate. It was a defiant gesture that did not go unnoticed by the captain or the crew.
“Don’t touch me,” she hissed.
A ripple of shock spread across the deck and James gripped the prongs of the wheel tighter. Once more, the two sides within him roared over one another. Part of him wanted to let the matter go and say she could stay. The other part, the one constantly aware of the crew’s morale, balked at the notion.
James knew the right course of action and motioned for one of the crew to take the helm. Once he was relieved, he charged for Grace and seized her by the wrist. She didn’t put up as much of a fight as he would have expected as he escorted her back to his cabin.
“Bring your arse to an anchor,” he ordered, pointing toward his bed. “And if I hear this door open again, I’ll nail you to it.”
Grace blinked. “What happened to letting me do as I please?”
Luckily, James didn’t hear any of his crew hurry over to eavesdrop on their argument. “When I tell you to do something, you do it,” he said, gathering up what little anger she provoked when she defied him. “I am the captain and when you make a scene like that in front of my crew –“
“What?” she interrupted with a dumbfounded look on her face. “You think it’ll make you look incompetent?”
He gave her a wry smile. “Yes, that’s exactly it. Now, sit down and be quiet until I come get you.”
Grace held out her hands in exasperation. “I only came up to get some fresh air.”
Involuntarily, James’ face wrinkled with the coming admission. “I can’t focus with you on deck right now. Just… stay down here until the fog clears.”
Leaving her with such honesty, James retreated back to the wheel. He hated to do it, especially when knowing she was farther away. That gave him greater pain than having her so near. But, it had to be done. If not for the sake of his crew and the ship, then for his own sanity. If he allowed himself to linger on the thought of her a moment longer, he wouldn’t have any self-control left.
He felt the eyes of his men follow him as he took his place at the wheel again. A quiet tremor of unease snaked amongst the ranks and he suspected what they all were thinking. It was the same thought since the moment he brought Grace onboard. This woman could have been their undoing, and someone had to straighten her out. James was the likely one to do it, but could he muster the nerve?
He could board ships twice the size of The Burning Rose, with triple the guns and know that he was outnumbered before setting foot on their decks, and do it all without so much as a bead of sweat on his brow. Yet, he couldn’t begin to imagine handling Grace with anything but gentleness and care. She was just a woman, but James’ wolf disagreed. She was so much more than that.
Grace straightened her shoulders and took a firm hold on the handle of the door. A few hours had passed since James practically threw her back into the cabin, complaining that she was a distracting presence on the quarterdeck. How could she be? She did as he demanded and stood as rigid as the mast, and still he didn’t want her around. What had she done? She knew quite well that she showed far too much brazenness in the face of the burly Irishman, Patrick, but it still didn’t explain the distinct shift in James’ demeanor.
What happened between last night and this morning to make him treat her so? The pain in her chest was far disproportionate to his words. She shouldn’t have cared that he didn’t want her around, yet he couldn’t have known the kind of courage it took to step out of that cabin and go to him the way she had. It was the same courage she had to gather up now, only she found it a little easier to do so, despite the threat of being tossed back into the captain’s quarters like an escaped bird who flew out of its cage.
James hadn’t come to fetch her like he promised, even though the crew were moving about the ship as they normally did. Outside the window to the stern, she could see the fog had dissipated to reveal a rather calm sea around them. It would make for good sailing.
Grace cherished these clear skies, even when she looked through the window of her bedroom back in Kingston. Out here, however, she could see for miles and miles around and there was no end to the radiant blue sky. There was no possible way she could stay in the cabin a moment longer and miss a greater view of this glorious day.
She pulled open the door, being careful not to do it too slowly so the hinges wailed, nor too quickly so that she drew the attention of
any nearby crew members. The sails were cracked on, drawn tight and full of the gusty wind that blew in from the stern. Pirates were up on the yardarms, pulling and tying off lines, while others were on deck tightening, loosing ropes, or tending to other ship duties like cleaning or repairs.
In all fairness, the pirates weren’t so different from the men on The Lady Adventure. Their manners were similar, though their language was far fouler than she would have preferred. They sang the same shanties, performed the same duties, but all to ends that were drastically different. Pirates operated outside of the law, which was why Grace knew they couldn’t be trusted. And still, her heart yearned to put her faith in James, for whatever hopelessly flawed reasons that she still couldn’t comprehend.
Unnoticed, Grace closed the door behind her and strode toward the railing, being mindful not to walk straight across the open expanse of deck where she was sure to be seen. Either the pirates weren’t paying attention, or James had put the fear of God in them to finally leave her alone.
She turned her gaze toward the open sea and breathed in the salty air. Through it all, the hardships and the trials, Grace couldn’t help but love this view. A few wisps of sugary white clouds drifted with them as they sailed, complimenting the pure and resplendent blue canvas they floated against.
It wasn’t enough. Grace remembered how she had climbed the ratlines that led up to the crows nest on The Lady Adventure. That was the view she longed for, to swivel her head and see nothing but sky and sea all around.
Emboldened by the fresh air, she slipped her way to the ratlines, heedless of the fact that she was still wearing a dress, and climbed her way up the main mast. When she came to the point where the gaff and main topsail yardarm met at the crows nest, she was finally turning heads. The few pirates who were manning the yardarm there gave her strange looks that melted into surprise and then incredulity as she continued up the mast.
The Pirate (The Legacy Series Book 5) Page 6
